As The World Turns
by Lisa Anne1
Summary: AU: Buffy and her friends face the challenges that life holds. AU: This story starts on Buffy's wedding day but how did she get there? What obstecles did she face? Who is she marrying? Read to find out!
1. Default Chapter

As the World Turns.  
  
Disclaimer: All right, this has nothing to do with the soap opera of the same name. Also, this story takes place in an alternative universe, no vamps no slayers, just a normal world. Also, I don't own any of the character, they belong to Joss and his ensemble. Well, I own the ones that aren't in Buffy or Angel (if any are to develop). I am not mentioning pairings yet, especially with Buffy because I want to try and write a piece that is surprising. I'll see how far that gets! This story will start at a wedding, then it will have flashbacks to explain how the characters got to the point of the wedding, and then it will conclude with the wedding. Okay kids, enjoy! As always, please read and review. Email me if you have any questions or ideas.  
  
Chapter One: The Wedding Part 1  
  
Twenty-four year old Buffy sat in the dressing room of the church. She waited anxiously as she waited for her bridal party to arrive at the church for her wedding. Her wedding. She never expected that day to come. She had been through so many things over the past few years that she never dreamt that she would be walking down the isle, especially not to the man of her dreams. She wasn't entirely sure she deserved this day.  
"Buffy, the flowers are here," the only other person in the room announced.  
"Good, thanks Dawn."  
"Where should I put them?"  
"Keep them in the box until the wedding starts." Buffy told Dawn. She looked at her baby sister. The baby sister that she knew growing up was developing into a beautiful dark haired young woman. Dawn would be attending college in the fall.  
"Do you want help getting into your dress?" Dawn asked.  
"Not yet. I am going to wait until the curlers come out of my hair and my make up is done. Then I will be needing some help. Where are Willow and Mom and the others?"  
"They are getting some last minute things. They should be here any minute. And Tara and Anya are probably in traffic somewhere. Or they waited until the last minute to leave. They will be here soon." Dawn paused and looked at her sister. "Are you nervous?"  
Buffy sighed. "Dawn, you know how the past few years have been. I mean, do I deserve this? Really, so much as happened I am nervous. I am nervous that this is just a dream and that I am not really marring him."  
Dawn hugged her sister. "So things were kind of soap operaish in the past. It's over and in the past now. You are going to marrying him today, in three hours. The only type of dream this is, is your dream, coming true. And Buffy, the past few years haven't been all roses but you are going to be happy. You deserve it."  
A smile found it's way to Buffy's face. "When did you grow up and get so mature?"  
Dawn walked away from Buffy and towards the box of flowers. She was moving them onto the table. "What can I say? I am maturing and growing up. I hear it happens to the best of us."  
The two sisters shared a laugh before Buffy grew serious again. "I wish dad was here."  
Dawn nodded. She knew whom she meant. "Buffy, even if he hadn't died, do you think he would have came? He just gave up on Mom and us and ran off with that younger woman when I wasn't even two and had other children with her. He, he never sent cards for our birthdays or for the holidays or even pick up the phone to talk to us until he found out he was dying."  
"I think after he found out he was sick, he felt guilty and that's way he got back in touch with us again. It was nice having him around again. It almost felt like how things were so long ago." Buffy explained.  
"I can never forgive him. Mom struggled to raise us and I am glad he isn't here. He doesn't deserve to enjoy our happiness because he caused us so much misery for so long." Dawn said as she place the box back on the floor and walked back over to her sister. "I'm glad Mom found someone else. He is my father Buffy. He has been here for us through everything. I mean, where was dad during our teacher conferences, or out dance recitals or our father-daughter dances during Girl Scouts? He didn't care about that. You know who did? Rupert did. He is our father. He is the only father I have and will ever know."  
Buffy could see that this was a loosing battle. The argument over their deceased father had been on going since Hank Summers had gotten back in touch with his children from his first marriage after being absent for so many years. Dawn thought of him as a selfish person and pretended that he died a long time before he did. Buffy, on the other hand, felt compassion for him and did long to have him at her wedding.  
Dawn was also right about Rupert Giles. He was their father. He adopted the two girls after he and Joyce had married. He always made time to be in the girls' lives and enjoyed being with them.  
"I'm sorry Buffy, I shouldn't have gotten mad."  
Buffy got up and placed a hand around her sister. "Hey, it's alright. It was just my feelings you don't have to agree with me. I know you never do." Buffy smiled. "So, how is that boyfriend of yours, Andrew? Is he going to be here?" Buffy said changing the subject. That topic mad Dawn smile.  
  
"Hello? Is there a bride in here?" Willow Rosenberg asked as she opened the door. Willow and Buffy had been best friends since Buffy moved to town and enrolled in the town's junior high school. The red head walked in and closed the door behind her.  
"Hey Wil!" Buffy said as she threw her arms around her maid of honor.  
"I was hoping you wouldn't start to get ready without me. Your mom is coming in a few minutes. I got something for you. You know, as your 'something old.'"  
Willow handed Buffy a small gray velvet bag with a pull sting on it. The bag looked as if it came from a jewelry store. Buffy reached in and pulled out two necklaces. The necklaces had a half a heart pendent on each of them. Buffy knew as soon as she saw it what the necklace was. It was a best friends necklace set the two had bought in the end of sixth grade.  
Buffy hugged Willow. "I can't believe you found these! Where were they?"  
"Your mom found yours in your old jewelry box in the attic. I found mine when Tara was helping me move a few months ago. It was tucked away in a scrapbook. I called your mom after you got engaged and asked if she could find it. It took time but it's here."  
Buffy smiled as she stared at the necklace. "Let's wrap them around our bouquets." Willow nodded. Buffy hugged her friend again. "Thanks Wil, and not just for the necklace. Thank you for being there for me for all these years and through all those mistakes." Willow smiled. "Buffy, it's nothing, it's what friends do. You have been there for me too. When my parents shut me out of their lives, you picked them up and became my family. So you made some mistakes, I think that's called growing up. Mistakes make the world turn, it's part of learning."  
"So we're even?" Buffy asked.  
"Yea, I guess we are." Willow said as she and Buffy shared another hug before Buffy's mom entered the room.  
"You're not ready yet? Why aren't you dressed already?" Joyce asked her daughter.  
"I am waiting to get these curlers out of my hair and get help getting into my gown. Plus I have almost two hours to get ready. I'm not rushing. Plus, even if I run late, they can't start without me." Buffy explained.  
"Well, let's get those curlers out of your hair and get ready to get you married." Willow suggested.  
"But the photographer isn't here yet." Buffy pouted.  
"He's outside taking pictures of the groom's party. I'll tell him to come back in an hour. After you are done getting dressed." Joyce suggested.  
"Thanks Mom." Buffy smiled at her mother as she walked out of the room.  
After Dawn had reentered the room, Willow asked her to get both Tara and Anya. They were out side talking to the groomsmen as they posed for photographs.  
When the three women had entered the room, they helped Buffy get the curlers out of her hair and put her make up on. Then, she got into her dress.  
"Buffy, you look like a princess." Dawn told her sister  
"You look beautiful." Tara added.  
"Thanks. Now can someone button me up?"  
Willow and Dawn walked over and both buttoned Buffy's dress.  
Anya got her veil and carefully placed it on her head.  
"I think I am ready."  
"Buffy, you look so gorgeous!" Joyce told her daughter as she came back into the room. "Your father is going to come in a few minutes with the photographer."  
The woman in the room began talking for a few moments before there was a knock on the door.  
"Come in." Joyce said as Willow smoothed out Buffy's dress.  
Rupert Giles entered with the photographer. He was taken back when he saw Buffy. "You look beautiful beyond any words Buffy." He proudly said as he kissed her on her cheek. "Your mother and I have something for you." Rupert said as he reached into a pocket inside his tuxedo jacket. He pulled out two small jewelry boxes.  
Buffy opened the larger of the two boxes and found a pearl necklace. In the smaller box was a pair of sapphire earrings, the color of her bridesmaid's dresses.  
"The necklace was my mother's and her mother's before her. Your mother and I bought the earrings right after you picked the bridesmaid dresses. I guess that's your something new and blue." Rupert explained as he put the necklace on his daughter. The photographer proceeded to begin to take pictures of the bride with her parents and then with her sister and then with the bridal party.  
After rolls of film and an hour of taking pictures, the wedding was ready to roll. Everyone got into place and proceeded to walk down the isle.  
"Are you ready to do this?" Rupert asked Buffy.  
With tears in her eyes, she nodded. Buffy was nervous and scared and excited and so incredibly happy all at once.  
As she began to walk down the isle, she began to reflect on her life. Once she saw him, she began to feel so happy and so grateful that the events in her life lead her to this point. Instead of looking forward to the future, she began to go back to the past and think of how she got to this point.  
  
Okay, so the first chapter is done.what do you think? I didn't want to reveal who Buffy is marrying yet to kind of leave it up to a surprise. The next chapters will include possibilities. Thanks for reading! Lisa Anne ( 


	2. childhood

Childhood

**Los Angeles **

Age Seven

"What do you mean daddy isn't coming home any more?" Buffy asked her mother. She was almost eight when her mother had to break tough news to her.

"Well, daddy is moving away and mommy, Buffy and Dawn are going to stay in the house for now." Joyce Summers tried to explain to her oldest daughter. They were at the local ice cream parlor. Joyce herself didn't understand why her marriage broke up. She and Hank had never had any problems that she knew of. Suddenly, one day, he ended their ten-year marriage. He said he wasn't in love with her any more and didn't want to be a father either. He moved into an apartment with his younger secretary. Joyce had planned the talk with Buffy but the conversation grew more difficult than she could ever imagine.

Buffy looked up at her mother with her big green eyes. She didn't understand. "Who is going to pick me up from dancing on Wednesdays and school on Fridays?"

"I'll do it." Joyce smiled.

"But mom, you work those."

"Well, I'll rearrange my schedule. I'll make it work."

"And who will go to the father-daughter dance with my troop?"

Joyce thought for a minute. "Maybe grandpap will go with you. Buffy, sweetie, don't worry about anything, we'll make it work." Joyce forced a smile to assure her daughter.

Buffy looked confused after her short talk with her mother. She didn't understand anything about the whole situation. At seven years old she made up her mind. She would be there for her family and herself. She knew that she had to be strong. She would never depend on anyone to do things for her, certainly not a boy. After all, she had trusted her father and now he was gone. Seven year-old Buffy Summers decided at the age of seven she hated all boys. All her dislike of boys could not make one feeling go away. She still wanted her daddy more than anything else in the world.

**Age Nine**

"You're going on a date? Why? When? Do you even know any boys?" Nine year- old Buffy Summers asked her mother as the drove to a day care center to pick up Buffy's sister, Dawn. 

Joyce Summers laughed at her daughter. "I am going on a date on Friday because a man asked me to go to dinner with him and I like this man. He seems very nice."

"Well dad was nice at one time." Buffy bitterly reminded her mother.

"Buffy, I'm not getting married, it's a dinner date, with a man who isn't your father."

"Who is this man?" Buffy pouted.

"His name is Rupert and-"

Buffy chuckled. "What kind of name is that? I don't like it. I don't like him."

Joyce continued ignoring her daughter's attitude.

"Rupert is British and we met when he booked a field trip. He's been coming in a few times a year with his class to the museum. He's a teacher in a few towns over from us."

"Mom, he's British? How boring is that?"

Joyce stopped at the red light and turned to her daughter. "How do you know that British people are boring? How many British people do you know?"

Buffy stopped and looked at her mother. "Mary Poppins was British."

"And you loved that movie. When you were little we went through two of those movies because you liked it so much."

"Yea, but I was only a little kid then and now it's boring."

"Buffy, I promise that he isn't anything like Mary Poppins, all right?"

Ignoring her mother, Buffy continued. "Friday is _our_ night. We rent a movie and have popcorn and have girl talks after Dawn goes to sleep. Some times Stacy sleeps over too."

"I know that Fridays are our nights but Stacey's older sister is coming over to watch you and Dawn and she's bringing Stacy with her. She said something about going to the movies." Joyce said with a smile as she pulled into the day care center.

"But Jenny isn't you Mom. I like _our_ nights together."

Joyce felt guilty but she needed a night out. This was her chance to go out and have a nice conversation about something other than _Jem _or _She-Ra_ or whatever the popular children's item was. 

"Well, we can have our movie night on Saturday night. Not only can we have popcorn but we can have pizza too." Joyce smiled.

Buffy closed the car door and walked next to her mother. "The way I like it?"

Joyce put her arm around her daughter. "You mean with pepperoni and onions on the bottom of the cheese and on top of the sauce?"

"That's the way I like it."

"We'll get that. Deal?"

Buffy nodded. "What kind of name is Rupert mom?"

Joyce laughed. "We're not talking about this again."

Joyce opened the door and saw her youngest daughter by the easel. She painted a house with three stick-like figures outside of the house and then a rainbow over the house. 

"Is this another piece of art work to hang in the gallery?" Joyce asked sneaking up on Dawn.   
"Mommy!" Dawn turned around and hugged her mother. "Hi Buffy." She said to her older sister. Dawn idolized her sister even though sometimes Buffy got annoyed with her.

"Hi." Buffy managed to say as she walked over to get Dawn's things from her cubby.

"Are you ready to go home sweetie?"

"Yes. Mommy, tomorrow is show and tell."

"Really? What do you want to bring?"

"Mr. Gordo." Dawn answered referring to Buffy's stuffed pig.

"No, no way. Mr. Gordo is mine! He is off limits to you!" Buffy said. Mr. Gordo was the last thing that Hank Summers ever gave Buffy. She pretended that she didn't remember where it came from but she knew. She didn't want anyone touching her last memory of her absentee father. .

"Why do you want to bring Buffy's stuffed animal honey?" Joyce asked as they left the center.

"Because Buffy loved Mr. Gordo and I love Buffy." The three and a half -year old answered, not making much since.

"You're not taking Mr. Gordo with you." Buffy repeated.

"Dawn, why don't you bring Puddles, your duck with you. Buffy picked that duck out for you before you were born."

"You did?" Dawn asked.

"Yes she did. She picked him out in the gift shop all by herself right before you were born." Joyce told her as she buckled Dawn into her car seat.

Buffy shut of her ears as she climbed into the front seat and put on her seat belt. She remembered picking out the yellow duck with her father and didn't want to think about him. Joyce skipped over that part and made the story sound really great and wonderful.

"Can we go out for ice cream?" Dawn asked as Joyce put her seat belt on and back out of the parking lot.

"No, we have to have supper tonight."

"Can we go tomorrow night?"

"No." Joyce answered.

"Why not?" Dawn questioned.

"Because she is going out on a date." Buffy answered harshly.

Dawn's eyes light up like it was Christmas morning. "A date? Like the one Cinderella went on with the prince at the dance?"

"Sort of but we are going out for dinner and we're not going out dancing."

"Is he a boy?" Dawn continued to ask.

"Yea he is and he's British." Buffy added.

"What's British mean?" Dawn asked.

"He was born in another country called England. He talks like Mary Poppins. Buffy, I don't like your tone with your sister." 

"He talks like Mary Poppins? Does he sing?"

"Dawn, enough with the questions!" Buffy snipped at her sister.

"Buffy, enough! Please do not talk to your sister like that."

"Are you going to marry him?" Dawn asked.

Buffy looked at her mother like she was going to cry. "Honey, I don't know him well enough to marry him. Plus, I don't want to get married right now."

Dawn looked out the window. She nonchalantly said, "Too bad. I was thinking he could be our daddy."

Joyce looked as if she was going to cry. Dawn had no memory what so ever of her father. It really broke Joyce's heart that she was the only parental figure the girls had. It wasn't fair to them. "Someday sweetie, but not yet. The time isn't right yet but when the time is right, I'll let you know." 

Buffy looked at her mother who had tears coming from her eyes. She felt bad for getting angry with her sister and aggravating her mother.

"Hey Dawnie?" Buffy called. She waited until Dawn looked at her before she spoke again. "You can burrow Mr. Gordo but if you get him dirty I'll be very angry."

A smile found it's way to Dawn's face. "Thanks you Buffy, you are the nicest sister. And you're pretty too."

Joyce smiled at her daughter as they pulled into the driveway. She put her arm around Buffy for a moment and said nothing. She just smiled.

**Age Eleven**

"So we are going to eat after my recital?" Dawn asked as her mother parked the car and led her into the auditorium for her first recital.

"Yes. I have some very important news to tell you and Buffy. It's a secret."

"Is Buffy going to be here tonight?" Dawn asked.

"Of course Buffy is going to be here tonight."

A smile formed on Dawn's face. She still idolized her sister. "She said she had a dance at school."

"She told me she really wanted to come and cheer you on in your first big recital." Joyce said as she walked her daughter to the stage area where her daughter's dance class was meeting. "Now Dawn, when you are all done with your dancing, meet us over by this door after you have changed, all right?"

"Okay mom. I'll see you soon!" Dawn said as she skipped over to her friends.

After being in both the jazz and ballet portions of the show, Dawn took her bow and got off stage. She changed out of her dance costume and into a dress she had picked out to wear out to dinner with her mother and sister and her mother's boyfriend. 

After she was changed and ready to go, Dawn headed towards the meeting area. The first person she saw was Buffy.

"You did a good job Dawnie!" Buffy said as she hugged and kissed her sister. "Here, I want you to have this." She said as she handed her a bag with a gift in it.

Dawn was amazed as she pulled out a stuffed pig that looked like Buffy's Mr. Gordo. "Buff, is this-" 

"No, it's not him, but it's your own. It is identical to mine. I did a few extra chores around the house and bought it for you." Buffy explained.

"But I thought you were saving for the new Nintendo game?"

"I was, but your first dance recital only happens once, so I wanted you to have something special. What are you going to name him?"

Dawn smiled. "G.J."

"What does that stand for?"

"Gordo junior!" She said.

Both girls laughed as they were leaving. "Mom and Rupert are waiting out side for us. Are you ready to go?" Buffy asked. Dawn nodded. Buffy took her dance bag so she could carry G.J. as they set out to meet their mother and her date.

When they met them, they were waiting to go. Joyce hugged her daughter and gave her a charm bracelet with a ballet slipper charm. Rupert had bought her a bouquet of flowers. Dawn and Rupert had a great relationship. He was the only person who she remembered doing father-like things with. She had said many times to her mother and to Buffy that she wanted him to be her father. Joyce always smiled and thought that was sweet. 

Buffy on the other hand, had a hard time dealing with Rupert because she remembered her own father and loved him and wanted him to come home. She knew that would never happen so she didn't want anyone else if she couldn't have her own father. 

The entire car ride to the Italian restaurant was spent listening to Dawn talk about how excited she was to dance. She was most of all excited that Buffy was there. She then said how much she liked the music she danced to when she dud her jazz number but she didn't really like the ballet music because it reminded her of the boring music that Rupert listens to in his car.

Once at the restaurant everyone ordered what they wanted to eat for dinner. While they were waiting for their dinner, Joyce began to talk to the girls.

"Girls, we have some very exciting news"

"That means it is good news, right?" Dawn asked.

Joyce smiled at Rupert and then looked at her youngest child. "Yes, it is good new."

Buffy knew what the news consisted of and she wasn't happy about it. "Are we getting a dog?" She asked trying to change the subject.

Joyce smiled gently. "No, not yet anyway."

"A cat?" Dawn asked.

Again, Joyce smiled. Buffy interrupted her before she spoke again.

"A bunny?"

Joyce and Rupert were both laughing at this point. "Okay, okay, maybe we will have to get a pet, maybe after we move."

"Ah, move?" Buffy asked.

Joyce nodded. "Yes, girls we are going to move-" Dawn interrupted her.

"To a new street?"

"Yes Dawnie, a different street, in a different town."

"A different town?" Buffy asked.

Again, Joyce had nodded. She was so excited Buffy had never remembered seeing her mother this happy, ever. She decided to be quiet so her mother could deliver the news that she had been waiting for. She was surprised when Rupert spoke up this time.

"I have asked your mother to marry me and she has said yes. We are getting married and we will be moving to a town that is in between both of our jobs." He smiled at the two girls. 

Dawn was so ecstatic. She got out of her seat and jumped up and down as she hugged and kissed both her mother and Rupert. Buffy smiled. She thought about all that she would be leaving behind. All of her friends and all of her teammates on her sport teams and her dance squad. Most importantly, she would be leaving a house she had lived in her entire life. A place she knew better than the back of her hand. Overall, the place she remembered her father and mother being together. She didn't like the idea of getting up and moving. It scared her to death.

Buffy forced a smile on her face. "That's great. Good for you guys."

As Dawn sat down, Joyce began to talk again as she beamed with joy. "Do you want to tell them? I really think they should hear it from you." Joyce asked her fiancé. 

Buffy spoke up before anyone had a chance to say anything. "There's more? The fun keeps rolling."

Rupert nodded and he also beamed from ear to ear as he spoke. "Your mother and I have talked a great deal and have decided, that, if it is all right with you girls, I would also like to adopt you after the wedding. I-I have thought of you girls has my own for some time and I would love it if you gave me this privilege of legally becoming your father."

"You would be our dad?" Dawn asked wide-eyed.

Rupert nodded with a smile. "Yes"

Dawn again jumped up and down happy beyond belief. She was getting her family she had wanted for some time.

Buffy sat back and smiled. Even if she objected she knew her mother would agree with Rupert. "I'm so happy." She said to her family. She hugged her mother and then Rupert and then Dawn wrapped her arms around Buffy.

Dawn whispered into Buffy's ear, "Buf, we are a real family. We have a mom and now we have a dad too!"

Buffy wanted her father, her real father more than anything. When she got home that night she excused herself from the ice cream bar her mother and Rupert had created to celebrate their news and Dawn's recital. Buffy went upstairs and went to bed. She cried in her bed in the dark. She was happy that her mother was finally happy but with her marrying Rupert, that meant that there was no chance of her mother and her father reuniting. She knew that she hadn't seen in father in over four years but she always hoped that somehow they would get together. Now that dream was dead. She had to prepare to say good bye to everything she had ever known.


	3. Adolescence

Chapter Three: Adolescence, part 1

**Age Twelve**

Buffy picked up the last box from off of the floor. She took a look around what had been her bedroom for the past twelve years. Tears fell down her checks. She didn't want to leave LA. She would be leaving her best friends, Stacy and Dan and everything that was familiar to her. School had been out for a day and a half and she was moving. 

Joyce and Rupert had been married for almost five months. They had bought a nice house in a town called Sunnydale. It was about an hour away from all that Buffy knew. 

Buffy also didn't like the fact that she was no longer a Summers. Two weeks prior to the move, Rupert had legally become the father of both Buffy and Dawn. They both shared his last name, Giles. Buffy hated it. She wanted things to go back to how things were with just the three of the Summers women but that time had passed. 

"Buffy. The moving truck is ready to go. We have to put your box in it dear. Here, let me help you with that." Rupert said as he burst into Buffy's room, ruining her last few moments in her room. 

He took the box from her hands and placed it on the floor. He looked at Buffy for a moment. He couldn't imagine what she was thinking. He knew she was hurting but she was so distant from him and he didn't want to over step his boundaries with her. Rupert had hoped that in time she would turn around and at least show him some compassion.

"I know this is hard on you Buffy. I know some what of what you are going through and it isn't easy but it will get easier sweetie, I promise it will. Just give this whole thing a chance. You will meet new friends and keep in touch with your old ones. Things will be all right."

Buffy knew that he cared about her and wasn't saying things just to hear himself talk but she didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to think about he new life.

**The Beginning of Junior High School**

Buffy was baffled. Her new school was not what she had expected. She had been to three classes and had not made a single friend. She sat at a lunch table, alone. She was sure that Stacy, Dan and the rest of her friends were sitting together at lunch having a great time while she was all by herself.

She sat and looked at her half -eaten sandwich. She wasn't very hungry. She was about to get up and through her lunch away when someone sat next to her.

"I'm sorry if I am bothering you, but do you mind if my friend and I join you? All of the other sets are taken." A red haired girl said cheerfully.

"Go ahead, I was just about to leave anyway." Buffy grumbled.

"You don't have to go," a male voice said from behind her.

"Yea, please stay." The red head added as the boy sat across from her. "You're new aren't you?"

_Oh God, is it that obvious?_ Buffy thought to herself. "Yea, I am new. Do I stick out like a sore thumb?"

The boy shook his head. "No you don't it's just that everyone here has known each other since preschool days. The town is so small that when new families move here, everyone knows." He stopped for a minute and looked at Buffy. "By the way, I'm Xander."

"Hi, I'm Buffy Summ-Giles. I moved here in the beginning of the summer."

"Nice to meet you Buffy. I'm Willow." 

The trio sat and talked for the lunch period. Their talking soon became laughter. At the end of the forty-five minute lunch period, Buffy felt more confidant. She and Xander also had the same math class coming up and then she and Willow were in science together. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, the three would all be together for gym class. This was just the beginning of the friendship. 

****

Age fourteen: Freshman year of high school   


Buffy had adjusted to her new life thanks to Willow and Xander. The three of them were always together. The summer before high school, the three spent almost everyday at Buffy's house. Buffy had to watch Dawn for the first few weeks of the summer while her mother worked at the gallery and Rupert went visiting his family in England. He had asked Buffy if she wanted to go but Buffy refused. She didn't want to get close to him. He wasn't her real father and didn't want to spend any time with him.

Dawn, however, would be joining Rupert in England after she finished dance camp. She would take a plane by herself at the age of eight. This worried Joyce but the airline assured her that traveling would be safe.

Things between Joyce and Buffy sometimes were intense. Buffy told her mother that she wanted to see her father again. She immediately told Buffy that Rupert was her father. When Buffy told her she meant her biological father, Joyce sat down with her. She explained to Buffy that her father had only recently started to send her child support checks. Joyce explained to Buffy how she struggled at times to support her children. Hank Summers only began paying child support now because Joyce threatened to sue him. She then continued and told her that she had burrow money from her mother to get caught up on the bills. 

"Your father is a horrible, horrible man. When he left me, he didn't only leave me; he left you and Dawn too. The only good thing he did was leave me. Buffy, don't you see, I found a man who love you and Dawn more than anything else in the world. Rupert would never, ever let anything happen to you two."

Buffy began crying. She knew her mother was right but she wanted to have the chance to talk to him. She figured that if she was a good girl and didn't allow Rupert to take over her father figure roll, Hank Summers would come rolling back into her life. She figured that she just had to prove herself to him.

On the first day of high school, Xander's older brother, Angel, picked up Willow and Buffy as well as Xander. Buffy thought that Angel was very cute. He was the captain of the soccer and football teams. Angel was one of the most popular boys in the high school. He was also really nice and polite.

At school, Buffy, Willow and Xander shuffled amongst the crowds together. Luckily, they had almost every class together. The only bad thing about their first day was that Willow had a different lunch period than Xander and Buffy.

"Hey Buf, I saved you a seat." Xander said to Buffy.

Buffy sat across from him with her lunch. She reached into her brown bag and grabbed her lunch. "Thank you Xander. Poor Willow, she's going to be all alone."

"I know it stinks but-," Xander was interrupted by his brother and his brother.

"Hey bro, how goes your first day?" Angel asked as he sat next to Buffy.

"It's all right. I haven't gotten lost yet."

"This place isn't that big, you should have no problem. Buffy, are you finding things all right?"

"Yea, I'm just not so excited about you know, school in general. "

Angel smiled as he looked at his friends. "Yea, school kind of has that effect on you. High school isn't bad. The traditions are kind of cool."

Xander gave his brother a weird look. "You just used school and cool in the same sentence, did you notice that?"

"I didn't say school was cool, the traditions are cool. Like the big bon fire that happens home coming weekend in October. It's loads of fun. It's near the beach. You guys have to go to that. It gets better every year that you are in high school." Angel explained as he waved over to his friends.

"We'll have to check that out Buffy." Xander said as he sipped his milk.

"Yea, it will be fun." Buffy smiled.

The rest of the day flew by after lunch. Buffy and Willow had the next class together. Her last class of the day was study hall and she was kind of bored. She looked around the room and didn't see anyone that she knew, except for Angel and Cordelia, who was the most popular girl in Buffy's class. She was nice, once in a while. Buffy watched as she tried to flirt with Angel. He however looked uncomfortable and had called Buffy over.

"Hey, how was the rest of your day?" He asked.

"The same as before. It' school. And how was your day? You looked a little uneasy with Cordelia." Buffy said as she offered a smile.

Angel smiled back. "She's nice but she comes on way too strong. All she is looking for is a quick ticket into my crowd. She's too young and way too uninteresting."

The two continued talking until the bell rang. Buffy went to her locker and as Angel went to his. She met up with her friends and followed them to Angel's car. 

At home that night Rupert had made dinner. Everyone sat down to dinner and talked about their days.

"I think second grade is going to be harder than first grade." Dawn said as she picked at her peas.

"Of course it is." Buffy said.

Ignoring Buffy's comment, Joyce asked why she thought so. Dawn began to explain that the teacher's expectations were high and so on. When she finished, Rupert asked how Buffy's day was.

"Why do you want to know?" She snapped at him.

Joyce and Rupert just exchanged looks and remained calm. "I asked because I care about you and wanted to know how your first day in high school was."

Buffy shrugged her shoulder. "It was school, you know. It was all right."

"Did Xander's parents get a new car?" Joyce asked.

"No, that was his brother's car. He's a junior. He said he'd give us rides to school and home, until soccer practice started." Buffy paused for a moment. "Is that all right with you?"

Joyce smiled trying to go past Buffy's attitude. "Yes, that's all right. It's nice of Xander's brother to drive you."

Again, Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Well, he's a nice person."

"Oh, open house is next week," Dawn interrupted and looked at Joyce. "Do you think that you and dadd-" Buffy cut her off before she could finish.

"Dawn, he isn't your real dad, get over it."

Joyce placed her napkin on the table. "Buffy, that's enough. I think you should go to your room."

"It's true. I want my father, my _real_ father." Buffy said as she stormed off.

She got to her bedroom and slammed the door. She didn't know why she acted that way. She knew Rupert loved her as a daughter but she wanted Hank and n o one else.

**Going Out**

"Who's driving you?" asked Buffy a few Friday nights after her out bursts. Buffy was going out for dinner with Willow and Xander.

"Angel is." She answered as she waited by the door for the car to arrive.

"Angel is? Doesn't he go out with his friends? He has driven you guys for the past three weeks."

Buffy rolled her yes. "Yes he has friends. He is one of the most popular people in school. He just drops us off and then he comes back to pick us up. Can't a person be nice without being a geek? Jeez mom. That's him. I'll be home before eleven."

"You'll be home before ten, do you hear me young lady?"

Buffy sighed and then left. 

The Call

"I promise not to go out or have anyone in the house. It's just a me and Dawn night. We'll watch a Disney movie or something. You guys just go out and have fun." Buffy said as her mother and Rupert were getting ready to leave for a date. 

"Are you sure this isn't a problem?" Rupert asked.

Buffy snapped back at him. "I'm almost fifteen years old. I can handle watching my sister alone for a few hours."

Joyce kissed Dawn before looking at Buffy. "We won't be out too late. Dawnie, be good for your sister, all right?"

"Yep, by mommy, by daddy," she said as she hugged and kissed both Joyce and Rupert as they left.

"What will it be tonight? Do you want _Aladdin_ or _Lady in the Tramp_?"

Dawn shook her head. "Neither. I want _Marry Poppins_."

Buffy rolled her eyes. She hated the once loved movie from her childhood. "Fine, let me put it in."

She waited until Dawn was completely engrossed in the movie to get up. Buffy quietly climbed the stairs and walked into her mother's room. She knew where all the important documents were kept. She looked through the envelope. There was no sign of what she was looking for. Finally, she looked in her mother's checkbook and found it. There in Buffy's hands she held it. There in Buffy's hands she held a check from Hank Summers. It was his child support check. Buffy didn't care so much about the amount of the check as she did the address and phone number on the check. He was still living in LA. She quickly copied the number down and put the checkbook back where her mother had it. 

"What are you doing Buffy? I thought you were going to watch the movie with me?" Dawn asked.

"I have to make a phone call."

"To who?" Dawn asked as she looked at the number.

"I can't tell you. You will tell mom and Rupert."

"You mean mom and dad." Dawn corrected her sister.

"Nope, I meant mom and Rupert. Now go and watch your movie. I'll be down in a little bit."

"No, I want to know who you are calling."

"Dawn, no, go downstairs now please."

"Fine," Dawn wasn't going to argue with Buffy. She knew she wouldn't win this battle. 

Buffy waited until she heard Dawn reach downstairs to pick up the phone. She dialed Hank's number and hung up before the phone rang. She didn't know what she would say. Finally, she dialed the number again for the final time. 

"Hello," a woman's voice answered the phone.

Buffy paused for a moment. The woman repeated herself before Buffy could say anything. "Can I speak to Hank please?"

"On minute please," the woman said. Buffy could hear the woman mumbling something and then a child cry. She was so nervous that she began to sweat.

"Hello, this is Hank." He sighed. There was silence. "Hello?"

"H-hi. Dad, this is Buffy." She said with tears in her eyes.

Silence filled the phone line again. Neither one of them said anything for almost a full minute. "Did your mother have you call me?"

"N-no, she-" she was interrupted.

"Does she want more money? I am doing the best I can. I am sending more than enough money to here. I am not sending her more money. I-," this time Buffy did the interrupting.

"Mom doesn't know I called you. I called you because I miss you." Buffy began to cry.

Hank sighed. He didn't know what to say. "Buffy, please don't make this any harder than it already is."

"What are you talking about? Is this about us moving? We don't live that far from LA. I could visit you."

"Buffy, no, that isn't what I meant. Please don't call again."

Buffy felt as if she was hit with a brick. "What? What do you mean?"

"I left because I didn't want anything to do with your mother or you or your sister. I wanted to start a new life." Hank paused as his youngest daughter was yelling daddy on his side of the receiver. 

"How can you say that?" Buffy began to cry.

"Buffy, it's simple. I don't love your mother and I don't love you and your sister. For God's sake, I don't even remember her name. I haven't seen you two for over six years. Why would I see you know?"

"You can't mean that?" She questioned him.

"Of course I mean that. I can not wait until your sister turns eighteen so I don't have to pay for children I never wanted. Now, is there anything else?"

Buffy couldn't speak. She just hung up the phone. She hurt from her head to her toes. She had never had anyone be so rude to her before. 

"Buffy, who was that mean man you were talking to?" Dawn asked with tears in her eyes too.

Buffy wiped her eyes and tried to regain her composure. "Where you listening to my conversation?"

Dawn nodded as she walked over to Buffy. "You are sad Buffy, what happened?"

Buffy started crying again. She wrapped her arms around Dawn. "That was a very, very horrible man."

"Was that our first dad?"

"Yes."

"He doesn't even remember me. He was really mean to you. He shouldn't have been."

Buffy looked at Dawn as she continued. "It's ok, he is just a mean man, like the grinch. We don't need him, we have a nicer dad."

Buffy tried to smile as her younger sister held her. Buffy began to cry. All of her dreams were shattered with just one five-minute phone call. 


	4. Adolescence, Part 2: The Bon Fire

I would like to thank Tiney1981 and buffsterangelicxws for their feedback. It is greatly appreciated! I hope you enjoy part 3! Keep the reviews coming!

J Lisa Anne

Chapter Four: Adolescence, Part 2

The Bon Fire

By October Buffy, Xander and Willow were among the most popular freshmen. This was mostly due to Xander's association with his brother. Cordelia was even beginning to hang around them. Of course she just thought that by becoming friends with the trio she had a better shot with Angel.

On Homecoming Weekend, Buffy sat at dinner with her family. This was yet another delightful dinner. She was not snippy and did not give any back talk to her mother or Rupert. They both questioned the change in Buffy. They could not figure out what made her change. 

Buffy had changed. She was thankful for Rupert, especially after her talk with Hank almost three weeks before. Dawn had done a good job and had not told Joyce or Rupert about the phone call. Buffy went back into her not trusting any males, except for her friends Xander and Dan. They had proven to her that they were not like her father.

She had taken comfort in confiding in Xander about events in her life. He had told her that he didn't even remember his father. He told Buffy that his father had died when he was about one. Like Dawn, he had no memory of the man who helped bring him into the world. He could relate to Buffy in the since that he had father and that comforted her a little.

"So where is this bon fire?" Joyce asked her daughter as they finished dinner.

"It's on the beach. Is it all right if I stay out a little past my curfew? I'll bring your phone with me so you could call me at any given time." Buffy tried to bargain.

"How much later?" Rupert asked.

"Only 'til like eleven or eleven-thirty?" Buffy answered in an almost begging voice.

Joyce and Rupert had exchanged glances. "Angel is driving, right?" Rupert asked.

Buffy nodded. "Like always."

"Will there be drinking there?" Joyce asked.

"I don't know, I've never been to one of these things. I think there are teachers there and chaperoning and stuff."

"Buffy, if there is any drinking at all-" Rupert began to say but she interrupted him.

"Hey, I'm a freshman in high school, I don't want to do that stuff. My friends have no interest in doing that so-" this time she was interrupted.

"I know you would never do that, but if there are people drinking there, like the driver, do not hesitate to call us for a ride." Joyce said.

"Mom, Angel doesn't drink. He's an athlete, he can't do that stuff."

"Fine, but we just wanted to let you know that if you don't feel comfortable with Angel driving you for any reason at all, please don't hesitate to call us. Is that understood?" Rupert added as he finished his iced tea.

Before she could answer they heard a car horn. She finished her milk and stood up and was about to leave. "Yes. Can I please have the cell now?"

The bon fire was the biggest event of the school year. It took place the day after the football team's first home game. It was also a reason to celebrate since the team had won the game. Xander, Willow and Buffy had not excepted so many people to be at one function. 

Buffy separated herself from her friends. She wanted to just be alone and walk along the beach. She wished she could make herself quit mopping about her whole episode with her father but it hurt more than words could every say. 

"Hey, what are you doing? It's not safe to be this far away from the rest of the group. Sometimes there is a lot of crime done in this area," Angel explained as he walked with Buffy.

"Really, crime happens here? It's so pretty and peaceful." 

"And dark. I think we ought to be walking back towards the other."

Buffy sighed. She didn't want to be with Angel, she wanted to be alone and continue walking for just a little while longer. 

"If you want to be alone I could show you a place where I go sometimes, but of curse that is during the day."

"All right."

They began to walk towards an area that was on the beach but near the parking lot where there was light. Angel walked over and sat on one rock. "I like to come here and think sometimes, you know, just to be by myself."

Buffy sat next to him. A few minutes had past before she spoke up. "It is very peaceful here. I can see why you like coming here."

"Yea, it is. This is probably my favorite place to go to. No one knows I come here, well, except for you now."

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." She smiled.

After a few more moments of silence filled them, Angel spoke up. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, shoot."

"I have noticed the past few weeks that you seem, well, kind of angry at people for no reason and I was just kind of wondering why. This is a little different from how you acted in the beginning of the school year."

Buffy sighed. She didn't want to explain her entire life to Angel. She wanted to give him the briefest explanation. "Well, I'm mad at my father and I really don't like people because of him."

"So you hate people because of him?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, I just don't like most boys."

Angel smiled briefly. "Buffy, I don't understand you. You are probably the most popular girl in the ninth grade and you don't like people?"

Buffy looked at Angel and returned his smile. "Yea, that sounds kind of bazaar but it's the truth."

"What did he do that was so bad?"

Buffy turned away from Angel and watched the waves roll in and out under the light of the moon and the parking light. She then looked in the distance at her classmates having fun. "My dad left my mom, my sister and I when I was younger. He never got in touch with us for anything. I wanted him to love me and be part of my life so badly that a few weeks ago I went through my mother's things to find his phone number and address and I called him. He-," Buffy stopped. She could feel the tears reach her eyes. "He told me he didn't want anything to do with the children he didn't want."

Angel didn't know what to say. Part of him wanted to hug her and tell her it was all right, but another part didn't want to touch her because she wasn't his friend, she was his brother's friend. Before he had a chance to react, she continued. "My mother and I had talked about him a while back. She told me that she struggled with money stuffy. She said that we almost lost our house because of him. He hadn't given my mother any money for my sister and I until my mother threatened to take him to court. He has money, he is kind of wealthy."

"What does he do?"

"He's a lawyer. He became one so mom could do her art gallery stuff and so they wouldn't have to worry about money. When I called him, there was a child in the background calling for her daddy. My daddy! Why did he answer her? I have been crying for my daddy for almost seven years and he doesn't care. It's not fair." Buffy had lost it at the point.

Angel felt bad. He moved closer to Buffy and hugged her. He thought that no one had any right to do that to anyone, especially to someone who was like Buffy. He thought that she seemed like a nice person. He could relate to the unfairness of life in general.

Once she calmed down, Angel spoke up. "Can I tell you something?"

Buffy wiped her eyes and looked up. "What."

"My father left Xander and I when he was just a baby and I was little."

"He told me that."

Angel sighed. "Yea, but he doesn't know the whole story and why our father left us." Angel took a breath and then continued. "I remember a lot for being so young. I remember when he was born. I bought him a baseball glove with my father. I remember going to visit mom and Xander after he was born and we were all so happy, even Xand. I don't remember ever hearing him cry." Angel paused. He saw Buffy shivering and gave her his letterman jacket.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome." He took another breath and continued. "When I turned four I went to the doctor's for a check up, like kids do. The doctor's found something weird with my blood work. To make a long story short, I had cancer. My father couldn't handle it. One Sunday morning we woke up and he wasn't home. His car was still parked in the driveway but most of his clothes were gone. We had no idea where he went. Mom couldn't explain to use why he was gone. Luckily Mom money saved. Her family is wealthy so we never had to worry about that but," Angel stopped. He too had tears in his eyes. "I always thought it was my fault that he left. I thought that if I didn't have cancer he would still be home with me. He would have stuck around to teach Xander how to throw a ball. I blamed myself for so long. Now, I don't care what had happened, there is no excuse for abandonment. I know that he may blame me for his leaving but the truth is that he had a mind of his own and he chose his actions, not me."

Buffy had thought for a moment about what Angel had said. The part about no excuse for leaving your children made since to her. "That really sucks Angel, I'm sorry."

Angel pushed down closer to Buffy. 'Buffy, your missing the whole point of the story. It doesn't matter why he left, the point is it isn't your fault, don't beat yourself up over it, it's not worth it. You are lucky in so many other ways."

"Like how?" She replied smartly.

"Like having a family who cares about you and who loves you. I don't know a lot about you, but I have met your parents. Your mother and stepfather love you a lot. You have to quit concentrating on the past and begin to focus on the future. Life is too short to be so bitter."

Buffy began to stare out into the water again. Angel was right. The people around her loved her and told her that all the time. 

Angel shifted the subject a little as he too gazed out into the water. "Please don't say anything to Xander. We don't talk about our father and he doesn't know-" 

Buffy chimed in and interrupted Angel. "Don't worry, I wouldn't say anything."

"I think we should head back now. It's almost the end. Plus, it's almost eleven-thirty, I don't want to make your parents upset if you're late."

He stood up and climbed off the rocks. He took Buffy's hand and helped her off the too. By the time they reached the bon fire they moved on to a different conversation and laughed. Most of their friends had left. Xander and Willow were waiting near the car. Cordelia had asked them for a ride since her ride left without her.

"Hey, where were you guys?" Willow asked.

"Yea, we thought something had happened."

Buffy looked blankly. If there was one thing she just wasn't good at it was lying. 

"You should have seen the beach. There were all these starfish and we were throwing them back into the water. I had never seen so many in my entire life!" Angel lied. He had an interest in marine life so the story was believable to Xander. 

"That's my brother, always trying to save some poor and defenseless water creature." Xander said. "Do you mind giving Cordelia a ride? Her ride left without her."

"Sure, we can do that. It may be a little crammed thin the back though."

"That's all right, it beats walking home."

Everyone piled into Angel's two-door Saab. The car was a hand-me-down from his mother even though it was less than two years old. 

After dropping Cordelia off, which Angel was less than thrilled about, he headed towards Buffy's house. It was the only thing that made since. Willow lived right next door to him and Xander. 

As he drove he rushed to make sure she was home on time. He didn't want her to get into trouble if she was late. He had enjoyed talking to her that night and wanted her to know that she could count on him for anything.

Once he arrived at her home, Angel pulled into her driveway.

"Buffy it was nice talking to you about the starfish," he said almost hesitating. "Maybe we could do it again some time."

Buffy smiled as Xander spoke. "I think that is code for something. Wil, what do you suppose 'starfish' could be code for?"

Willow laughed. She had known Angel her entire life and he was like a brother to her. "I don't know Xander but I wonder." She said as she began to make kissing sounds.

"Hey, stop it. Angel did teach me a lot about 'starfish'. It was an interesting night. I'll see you Monday morning. Good night." Buffy said not commenting on Angel's offer to meet again. The cars backed out of the driveway and began to drive down the street. Buffy walked inside her house. She placed the cell phone on the coffee table and walked up the stairs.

She knocked on her mom and Rupert's door. She knew they would still be a wake. 

"Come in," Rupert said. 

"I just wanted to let you guys know I am all right and I am home and I'm going to bed."

"Did you have fun?" Rupert asked.

Buffy thought for a minute. Her talk with Angel took most of the night. "It was informative. It was kind of interesting. I'm going to go to bed now"

"Yes, of course. Good night Buffy." Rupert said 

"Hey Buffy, where'd you get that jacket?" Joyce asked. 

Buffy had completely forgotten that she was wearing Angel's coat. "It's Angel's. I got cold so he went to his car to get it. He doesn't wear it that much. Letterman jackets haven't been popular since the days of _Grease_." Buffy said referring to her new favorite movie.

"That was nice of him. Make sure you give it back. Good night honey," Joyce finally said.

Buffy smiled. "Good night."

She walked into her room and turned on the light. She took off the coat and put it on the chair next to her vanity. She got dressed for bed after washing her face and hands and brushing her teeth. She climbed into bed and went to bed. As she lay awake, she thought about Angel and Xander's father. She wondered if there was a whole club of men just abandoning their children and wives. She did feel better after talking to him. She knew first hand now she wasn't alone and that someone else knew how she felt. 


	5. Winter Formal

Chapter Five-Winter Formal

**Disclaimer: **The characters mentioned are still Joss's, not mine, except the made up ones. Also, I don't own the songs _Dancing Queen_ or _Wonderful Tonight._ I also don't own Saved by the Bell.Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed…please keep the reviews coming! 

"He wants to WHAT? Are you sure you heard him right," Buffy yelled into the phone to Xander.

"I over heard Angel talking on the phone about the winter formal and I heard him say that he wants to ask you to go with him."

"Xander, I think your wrong. Why would he want to go with me? He's a junior and I'm a freshman. Plus, there are so many other people in his grade who would love to go with him."" Buffy explained as she made a salad to go along with dinner that night. She wondered why Angel would want to go with her. After homecoming they did go out together but as friends and no where exciting. They only went out for pizza or to the movies together and usually with Xander, Willow and Cordelia, who was now showing more interest in Xander than Angel. She and Angel also danced together at the school dances but that was never a big deal because everyone usually danced with everyone else. 

"I can't explain my brother's thinking. I can tell you only what I heard. Buff, I'm just telling you what I heard."

"What do I say?"

"Usually yes or no are the most popular answers. If you want to go, go but if you don't, just don't go. I'm going."

Buffy smiled. "With Cordelia?"

"Maybe. I was also going to ask Willow."

"Willow?"

"Yeah, we've been friends forever and it would be fun, no pressure or anything like that."

"But Cordy will be there, right?"

"Yeah, she'll be going with us."

"I don't even know if I want to go, I haven't even thought about it."

"Well, I think he'll ask tomorrow before Thanksgiving break. Knowing Angel, he'll ask you when he is on his way to drop you off at home."

Buffy sighed. "Xander, why does he want to take me?"

"I don't know but I will eavesdrop on his conversation some more and let you know."

"Will you really do that? You know I'd appreciate it."

Xander laughed. "I don't think so, Angel would kill me. Hey, he just pulled into the driveway. We're going to the mall so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Xander, let's go!" Buffy heard Angel say in the background.

"All right, but keep up the eavesdropping, okay?"

"No way, bye Buff." Xander said as he hung up the phone.

Buffy put the salad into the fridge and sat in the living room. Dawn was in the room watching some a rerun of _Saved by the Bell. _She sank into the chair and closed her eyes and began thinking to herself. _Xander had to have heard wrong. Maybe he said he wouldn't want to take me. Why would he want to take me, there are so many more girls who are prettier than I am. He's a junior and I'm a freshman. Xander had to have heard wrong. After all he-_

"When is Mom coming home?" Dawn asked, interrupting her thought process.

"Later. She is working late tonight."

"What about Dad, when is he coming home." 

"He's coming home soon. He had some meeting or something after work and is coming home right after."

"What are you doing?" Dawn asked as she walked over to the couch.

"Thinking. What are you doing."

"Watching TV, duh, what does it look like I am doing. What are you thinking about?" 

"Nothing, nothing. Which episode is this?" Buffy asked referring to the television series she used to watch.

"It's the one when Zach asks Kelly to the dance."

Buffy sighed. "I'm going up to my room, okay?" Before Dawn could answer, she was up the stairs and in her room.

"So what are your plans for Thanksgiving?" Angel asked Willow and Buffy in the car after their last class before Thanksgiving.

"Well, my parents are out of town on business, so I'm spending time over Buff's house."

"That sounds like fun."

"Then we are going holiday shopping really early on Friday morning with my parents."

"Oh yea, with me too," Xander butted in.

"Sounds very traditional," Angel said as he paused for a minute. "Have you guys heard about the winter formal?"

Buffy's stomach had a knot in it. "Yea, Xander, and I are going together," Willow answered before anyone could continue. Buffy looked at Willow and smiled.

"What about you Buffy, do you dance?"

"Sometimes, I was going to go stag, or as a threesome."

"You mean foursome, remember Cordy is coming too," Xander corrected her.

"Do you really want to go by yourself?" Angel asked.

_Oh God, she thought. He is going to ask me. What do I say? What do I do?_ "Well, it was a thought. My friend Dan from LA isn't able to go. Plus, it's not really stag when I am going with my friends. We are going to have fun as a three-foursome."

"Oh I see," Angel said. He wanted to go with her so badly. He really liked her. "Here's the thing. I'm not going to beat around the bush so just listen. I would really like to go with you. You are my friend and I think we would have a good time together, and you would still get to hang out with Xand and Willow."

_Oh God, he's being so nice. I don't want to make him upset. He is really nice, and he's kind of cute. Buffy, what are you thinking! You don't want to go with Angel. He knows too much about you after talking during the bon fire. You're going to say no. Just say no. _

"Sure Angel, that sounds like it will be fun." She smiled not understanding why she said yes. Xander turned around from the front seat of the car and kind of laughed at her. Yep, she was going to homecoming with Angel. 

"We are going to have so much fun tonight!" Willow said as she got ready for the formal at Buffy's house. She pulled her red hair into a bun and applied her make-up. 

"You're going to have fun. You're going to be with Xander and even Cordelia. I'm going to be with a bunch of juniors I don't even know!"

"Buffy, you have hung out with Angel and his friends before, it's not like you don't know them. You will have fun."

"I hope so." Buffy said as she stood up. She was ready to go. Her short, strapless dark purple dress hugged her slim body. "Wil, I don't know about this."

"Well-" Willow began to talk before she was interrupted by Rupert calling from down the stairs.

"Girls, Angel and Xander are here."

"This is it." Willow said with a smile. She straightened out her floor length black dress.

'But I don't want to go. Don't make me go."

"Buff, it's too late. You're dressed and ready to go." Willow said as they began to go down the stairs. 

They where in the middle of the staircase when Buffy began to whisper. "But I don't want to-" she stopped dead in the middle of her sentence when she saw Angel and Rupert joking around. He looked so elegant and so beautiful. Buffy forgot about every reason or excuse she made to get out of that night. She was going with the nicest and best looking boy in the whole school. She and Willow waited at the bottom of the staircase while Xander and Angel finished their conversation with Rupert.

"Buffy, you look so pretty," Dawn commented almost in awe. Her comment got the attention of everyone in the room. "And you look pretty too Willow."

"Thanks Dawnie," Willow said with a smile.

"Yea, thanks Dawnie," Buffy also added with a smile as she walked over to Angel.

"You both look beautiful," Rupert commented. "Your mother will be back in a few moment, she just went to get some film for the camera."

"You look beautiful Buffy. Here, I got these for you," Angel said, almost baffled. He handed her a bouquet of white and pink tiger lilies. "I knew everyone was going to have roses so I figured you would like something different. I hope you like them."

Buffy smiled. She actually hated roses so she was relieved when Angel had something else. "They are beautiful, thank you very much."

Just then Joyce came home with the film. "Oh sweetheart, you look so pretty." Joyce said as she hugged her daughter. "Willow, you look gorgeous too." Joyce also hugged her. Since moving to Sunnydale, Joyce became sort of a sergeant mother for Willow. Joyce felt bad that Willow's parents traveled a lot and Willow often went home to an empty house and take out food. Joyce had insisted that whenever Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg where out of town, that Willow stay with them. Willow hated to be by herself so she always accepted the offer.

"Let me take just a few more picture before you leave." Joyce said after almost ten minutes of picture taking.

"Sweetheart, I fear that you will have to go back to the store and get more film if you keep this up," Rupert said with a smile to his wife.

"There, last one," Joyce said with a smile but also rolling her eyes at her husband.

"What time does the dance get over?" Rupert asked.

"Eleven. What time do you want me home?" Buffy asked.

"I guess midnight or twelve-thirty, only because it is a special night." Joyce explained. 

"Thanks mom, I'll see you in the morning." Buffy said as she kissed Joyce's cheek. "Thank you too," She said to Rupert.

Rupert placed his arm around Buffy. "No problem, just have a good time."

The four walked out of the house. Xander and Willow crawled into the backseat of the Saab before Buffy and Angel took their seats in the front.

"I changed our seating at dinner." Angel said.

"Where are we siting now?"

"At table fourteen."

"Table fourteen? That's our table." Willow said.

"Yeah, I figured you would be more comfortable with people you know well, so I changed our table. Hope you're not too upset." Angel smiled.

Buffy returned his smile and simply said, "Thank you."

Angel pulled into Cordelia's driveway and the four stepped out of the car. After taking more pictures there, they were ready to begin their night.

"See, I knew you would have a good time. All you have to do is give fun a chance." Xander said to Buffy while they were dancing to Abba's _'Dancing Queen'._

"So I am having fun, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that you like to have fun and I think you like people too."

At the end of the song they walked back to their table to get a drink.

"So you have figured out my secret. Shhhhhhh, don't tell anyone." She smiled.

"I'm glad you are having fun."

"Yea, fun is good. Where's Wil and Cordy?" Buffy asked as they sat.

"They are in the bathroom, fixing their make-up. Where's Angel?"

"He's talking to some of the football guys. He's over there talking to Doyle now."

"Okay boys and girls. Young men and women of Sunnydale High School, this is your DJ and I am about to play the last song of the night, so find your someone to share the last dance with." The DJ said before playing Eric Clapton's _Wonderful Tonight_.

Buffy sat at the table as Xander and Willow danced together. Cordelia decided to sit that song out.

"Hey Buffy, do you want to dance? It's the last song." Angel asked as he stood next to her.

"I would love to," she smiled as she stood up and walked with Angel to the dance floor. They danced closely and slowly. 

"I want you to know that I had a good time tonight, with you. Thank you for inviting me Angel."

Angel smiled. "Buffy, it was my pleasure. I had so much fun with you. I hope this is just the beginning of good times with us."

Buffy was puzzled. "Angel, what do you mean? We always have fun together."

Again, Angel smiled. "I was hoping that we could kind of maybe go out, alone, just the two of us."

Buffy was puzzled. "Just the two of us? You mean like a date?"

Angel nodded. "What do you say?"

Buffy was now the one smiling. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why me? Why not Cordelia or Theresa or Amy? I mean, why me?" Buffy laughed. "Sometimes I'm not the most sociable person."

Angel kept on smiling. "Yeah, I have noticed. First off, Cordelia likes Xander, and I am thankful for that, believe me. And Theresa and Amy are boring. I have known them all my life and they are the same old girls who I remember when I was six. They haven't changed or grown or anything. Buffy, you are fun to be around. I have fun when I am with you. Your truthful and you don't care what people think about you. You can't care, your friends with my brother, aren't you? Seriously, I like being with you. You are a strong and independent person. So please, will you go out with me?"

Buffy smiled. She couldn't stop. She was excited. "Yes, I guess I will give this dating thing a try."

Angel and Buffy both smiled at each other as they continued to dance to the song. Buffy rested her head upon Angel's chest until the end of the song.

"Hey Angel, a bunch of the guys are going to the beach for a party, you wanna go?" Someone asked Angel.

He looked at Buffy. "Do you want to go?"

"I guess it could be fun."

"All right, count us in." 

"So we're back here again?" Buffy said as she sat on a rock along the beach. It was the same spot where she and Angel sat the night of the bon fire. 

"Yea, I don't want to be around a bunch of drunk kids. Plus, you said you liked it here because it was peaceful. It's a nice place to talk."

"It is. You have been so nice tonight. Thank you."

It's nothing." Angel said as he put his arm around Buffy. They sat for almost forty-five minutes before leaving. Luckily for them, Xander, Willow and Cordelia were waiting to go.

After dropping off Cordelia, Angel next drove to Buffy's house to drop her and Willow off. Angel got out of the car and walked the two to the front door. 

"We'll have to talk about going out soon." Buffy said.

"Yea, we are. I can't wait." Angel paused for a minute. "Goodnight Willow."

"Good night Angel, thanks for everything tonight."

"It was no problem, really. Good night Buffy."

Buffy gazed into Angel's big brown eyes. "Good night Angel."

Angel stood on the doorstep as Willow and Buffy both entered the house. Angel grabbed Buffy's arm before she entered the house. "Yes?" She said

Angel didn't replay with words. He replied by kissing her. "Good night Buffy. I'll talk to you soon."

Buffy ran up the stairs and caught up with Willow. She had so much to tell her about her night. 

__


	6. In the Spring

Chapter Six-Spring  
  
Author's note: Sorry for the very long delay. I worked a lot this month and I had to move back to school early for some intense RA training. My other story, Remorse should be updated before my classes start next week. Thanks for hanging in there!! Hopefully this will be updated soon!  
WARNING: The end of this chapter contains semi-graphic details (I don't think they are too bad but you can be the judge for yourself if you choose to read that far). Two characters get seriously injured. There, I gave far warning.  
Disclaimer: I still don't own any of the characters, except for Stacy, I thought of her all on my own. Also, the idea for the gift Angel gives Buffy towards the end of the story was inspired by an episode in season two of BtVS. All other thoughts are original and were made up by me. Hope you all enjoy the story! Lisa Anne!  
  
"Before we begin class, I wanted you to know that the office informed me this morning that we will have a transfer student coming in during our math period," Ms. Swift began to tell her algebra class. She continued talking but Buffy and Willow ignored her as they continued with their own conversation.  
"So Angel made you a picnic lunch yesterday? That is so sweet!" Willow squealed softly.  
Buffy and Angel had been dating for a four months. Every month on the eighth they would do something special for their anniversary. Angel surprised her by packing her favorite sandwich, creamy peanut butter and thinly sliced bananas on wheat bread. They picnicked at their spot, along the water where they spend so many nights and days just hanging out. It was their little place to be alone.  
"It was very romantic but look at this," Buffy said as she showed Willow her a thin golden chain around her neck with a tiny heart pendent hanging from the end. "The back says my name, he had it engraved."  
"That is awesome Buffy, it is. What are you guys doing-", Willow was interrupted by the door opening and a new student walking in. This boy is really cute she thought.  
"Oh my goodness!" Buffy said very surprised.  
"Yeah, he is cute, isn't he?" Willow smiled as the boy walked towards an empty chair in the front of the room.  
"I don't believe this," Buffy said as the bell rang. She stood up and walked towards the new student, almost forgetting that Willow was with her. She lightly tapped the boy's bag.  
"Hey, there you are," the red haired boy said. "I knew you'd be around here somewhere, what's up?"  
"Nothing. You're the new student everyone has been buzzing about?"  
"I didn't realize I was buzz worthy," he smiled.  
Shyly, Willow approached Buffy about going to their next class. "Hey Buffy-"  
"My goodness, where is my brain? Willow this is my friend I was telling you about from LA. Wil, this is Dan who I had no idea was moving to Sunnydale!"  
"Oz, please, only my parents use my first name. It's nice to meet you Willow. I've heard a lot about you."  
Willow smiled. "I have heard lots about you too. She talks about you a lot. We have to get going to out next class. Do you want us to walk you to your next class?"  
"Nah, that's all right, I'll find it. When do you guys have lunch?"  
"I have first lunch today at eleven and Willow has third lunch at 12:30, when do you have lunch, Oz?" Buffy asked as she sarcastically called her life long friend his nickname.  
"I also have third lunch."  
"Oh, I could meet you by the library and we could eat together?" Willow said not really knowing if she was asking or offering to have lunch with him.  
"Cool. I'll see you at the library. Buffy, we will talk later, right?"  
"Of course. We have to run now." Buffy said as she hugged him. "We shall talk, Wil, let's go."  
"Bye Oz," Willow said, now with a little confidence.  
"Later Willow," Oz calmly said to her as we wondered around the school.  
  
"You have known for three months you were moving here and you didn't say anything to me?" Buffy asked Oz at the end of the day.  
"I wanted it to be a surprise. Your mom and Rupert knew but I wanted to surprise you."  
"It's a nice surprise. I'm glad you're closer now." Buffy said as she closed her locker and looked at one of her best friends. "It's nice to have a piece of my old home here."  
"So that red head, that's Willow, right?" Oz asked as they walked towards the door. School was over and Buffy was walking home because Angel had baseball practice.  
"Yes, that is Willow. She's nice, isn't she?"  
"Yes, she is very nice. You just never told me she was that cute before. She is very cute."  
Buffy smiled. "She is probably one of my best friends here. She and Xander."  
"Xander is the one that went with you to LA that time, right?" Xander did go with Buffy and her family to visit friends a few months ago in LA. Xander and Oz got along really well. "Yep, that was Xander. He is awesome. I wish you could meet Angel now but he's-" "At practice. You've mentioned that a few times already." Buffy gave Oz an embarrassed smile. "So I've mentioned that a few times?" "No worries, you have only said it about fifteen hundred times today, that's all," Oz said very nonchalantly. Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry. Angel is great and I want you to meet him." "Well, I will. I'm not going anywhere, remember?" "That's right." Buffy said as she and Oz began walking through the front door of Sunnydale High School. The sky was grey and looked like it was going to down pour. "Where are you living? What street?" Buffy asked. "On Williams Ave." Buffy jumped up and down. "That's a few streets over from me!"  
"I also knew that. Your mother told my mother the streets were near each other."  
"Oz, I am so happy you are here. Too bad Stacy couldn't just pick up and move too. That would be so cool."  
"She isn't moving here but I do know for a fact that two weeks from Sunday she is visiting for the weekend. You know, for your birthday."  
Buffy was shocked. "She didn't say anything to me last night."  
"Did she say anything to you about me moving here?"  
"Well, no."  
"See, Stace is good at keeping secrets. I wish I didn't say anything. Just act surprised, okay Buffy?"  
"Surprised about what?" She asked pretending she had no idea what her friend was talking about.  
"Excellent."  
  
Buffy's fifteen birthday fell on a Friday. She woke up to a sun flower arrangement next to her bed on the oak night stand. It was from her mother and Rupert. The card read:  
Buffy,  
Good morning! Happy 15th baby. We just wanted to wish you very happy birthday! May all of your wishes come true!  
Love always,  
Mom and Dad  
Buffy smiled as she read the card. She made her way towards her vanity to brush her hair when she spotted a single orange rose, puffy but not in full bloom. There was a homemade card with that one. It read:  
I love you sis, happy birthday. I love you a lot. I like having you as my sister! Love Dawn  
Buffy smiled again as she read her baby sister's card. She loved Dawn more than anyone else in the world, possibly even more than her own mother. She was very touched by Dawn's thoughtfulness.  
Buffy grabbed her pink robe and made her way downstairs to the kitchen table where everyone was having breakfast.  
"Good morning everyone," she greeted them as she sat down between Dawn and her step father. "Thank all of you guys for the beautiful flowers. They were a nice surprise to wake up to on my birthday."  
"Your welcome honey, happy birthday," Joyce said as she hugged her daughter. "Dawn picked out both her rose and the bouquet of flowers. She paid for her rose with her own allowance money."  
Buffy smiled. She was touched that Dawn would spend her allowance money on her instead the junk she bought. Dawn was always saving to buy either candy or the new hot toy. Often times she would just get whatever it was from either Joyce or Rupert but nonetheless, she was still touched.  
"Thanks kiddo and thank you too," she said as she looked at her step father. She didn't really call Rupert anything. She still just addressed him in general terms never really showing any like or disliked. She did however treat him the same amount of respect as she had for her mother.  
"You're welcome Buffy. Now, what was it you asked for your birthday?"  
"A day off from school would be nice to start off with," she said, trying to get out of school. Rupert, who worked as a teacher just gave her a look. "Okay, I get the drift. I wanted that necklace we saw at the mall a few weeks ago. Remember the one I pointed out to you?"  
Rupert just shook his head as Joyce looked on cooking Buffy's favorite breakfast. "No, the other thing. You asked for and your mother and I told you absolutely not."  
Buffy nodded and looked on the floor. "Oh that. I wanted to go see Dave Matthews at Memorial Auditorium tomorrow night. You and mom both told me that I am too young to go to a concert by myself and both you and mom don't care for his music so you don't want to go. By chance Dave is coming over her to serenade me on my fifteenth?"  
Rupert laughed. "Afraid not. We did however get four tickets to the show."  
"Four ticket, for who?" Buffy asked disbelief. She was shocked.  
"Well, one for you, of course, and we thought you'd like to bring Angel and maybe Oz and maybe Stacey."  
"Stacy? I'll have to call her and ask her, it's kind of short notice." Buffy stated.  
"That's been taken care of," Joyce said as she finished making the eggs. "She is coming over tonight and spending the entire weekend."  
Buffy hopped out of her chair. She remembered her conversation with Oz a few weeks earlier when he first came to Sunnydale. He had mentioned that Stacy was coming to Sunnydale for her birthday. Buffy hugged her mother and then Rupert. "Thank you both. You guys are awesome."  
Both Joyce and Rupert smiled at each other and then smiled at Buffy. "Buffy, there is one more thing." Rupert said.  
"You were kidding? Tell me you guys weren't kidding. Please tell me you weren't kidding."  
Joyce sat down at the circular table between her husband and Dawn. "We weren't kidding. There is one more special gift for you"  
Rupert put down his fork and grabbed a small bag from under the table. "I bought this for you."  
The expression on Buffy's face was blank. She was very surprised that Rupert bought her a special gift. After all, she didn't recognize him as her father figure or anything. Buffy smiled as she took the small bag. Hiding in the white tissue paper was a small light teal box with a white fabric ribbon around the box that read. The box read, Tiffany & Co. She carefully removed the ribbon and opened the box. Inside sat a white gold bracelet with a tiny heart on the end of it. The heart read B.E.S, her initials. She was chocked up.  
"Thank you," was all she managed to say.  
Rupert sipped his coffee and placed it back on the table. He put his arm around his step daughter who he thought of his own. He pulled his arm back and put the bracelet on Buffy's wrist. "You are most certainly welcome Buffy. Every girl needs a Tiffany's bracelet."  
The family continued to eat breakfast before each of them had to get ready for work or school. Buffy did her morning routine and was ready by the time Angel came to pick her up. He was a little late.  
"Happy birthday Buffy," Angel said as he kissed her.  
"Thank you. So we are going to see Dave Matthews tomorrow night?'  
"Yes, I am very excited. I actually have to give you your gift. Do you want it now or wait until after school?" Angel asked after Buffy was buckled up and he proceeded to drive to school. Before she had a chance to answer he began to talk. "Actually, you are going to have to wait to get it. I forgot it and if I go home we will be late for school."  
"That's okay. You really didn't have to get me anything. Our anniversary was a few weeks ago and you bought me the necklace."  
"But it's your birthday Buf, of course I had to buy you something,  
don't be silly!"  
"Hey, where are Xander and Willow?"  
"They had to get to school early for a project. You'll see them at lunch today, right?" Angel said pulling his Saab into a parking space at school.  
"Yea, we all have lunch together. I'll see them then." Buffy said as she stepped out of Angel's car. She was disappointed that Xander and Willow weren't around. As they walked into school, they were greeted by other friends and made small chit chat with them. Angel and Buffy mad their way towards Buffy's locker. As they approached, she saw three big light purple latex balloons taped to the top of her locker. In the middle was a foil butterfly. Xander, Willow and Oz appeared and hugged her.  
"Happy birthday Buffy!" The three yelled all at once.  
"Thanks you guys! I love the balloon." She said as she hugged each one of her friends before leaning against Angel.  
"You get gifts too, at lunch," Willow said cheery. She was very happy. She and Oz went out together rand picked out Buffy's gift a few days before. Willow liked Oz so much but didn't know how to deal with her feelings, especially since she was attracted to her best friend's friend.  
"Oh, gifts, exciting." Buffy said as the bell rang. "Yuck, the bell. I guess we should all be getting to class now hu?"  
"Yea, I guess that's what we do in school, go to classes," Oz stated.  
"Classes? Whose brilliant idea was that? This is evil," Xander said as he walked away with Willow and Oz, pondering the meaning of school.  
"Some times I can't believe that we are related." Angel said laughing, watching his little brother run to class. "You know you don't have to hurry. That was only the first bell. You still have ten minutes before your first class, which, as you know, is right over there."  
"That was only the first bell? Then where did they go?"  
"They went away."  
"Why?"  
"So we could be alone for just a few more minutes."  
Buffy smiled. "I like alone time with you," she told him as she kissed his lips.  
"Alone time is good. This is good too," Angel said pulling away from the kiss. "But we can't do this because I need to give you your gift."  
Buffy pulled away. "You said you forgot it."  
Angel smiled and began to laugh. "I said I forgot it because I missed up. I knew if I told you I forgot it, you'd say go get it. I wanted to avoid that whole thing so I could surprise you with your locker. They worked hard on it."  
"And I love it!"  
"Good. So open your locker. Your gift is inside"  
Buffy opened her locker door and found a card and a small box. She opened the card and read the sweet, romantic card Angel had given her. She then opened the small box. Inside was a Claddagh ring. One a recent outing to a bunch of downtown shops, Buffy had pointed out that she liked the style of the rings but didn't know what it meant. She smiled as she realized he remembered.  
"It's a sign of love, loyalty and friendship. If you wear it this way it means that you belong to someone," Angel explained to Buffy as he slipped it on her finger. She gave him a quick kiss as the second bell rang.  
"Thank you, I love it."  
"Good, because I love you," Angel said looking right into her green eyes. He was completely focused on her.  
Buffy felt as if her heart was going to stop. This was the first time Angel had said those three words to Buffy. He had always written them in notes he wrote to her during the day but he never said those words to her.  
"I love you too," she said lost in the moment.  
"Come on," he said grabbing her hand. "Let's get to class."  
  
By seven o'clock that night everything was set up for Buffy's party. Joyce decorated the house with streamers and part decorations for Buffy's birthday gathering. Rupert was outside preparing to use his brand new grill. He was getting frustrated with the grill because it wasn't working. Joyce was convinced he put it together wrong but he insisted that it was all the grill's fault.  
Buffy was in the living room with all her close friends. Well, not all of them. They were waiting for Stacy who was running late. She was a year and a half older than Buffy and had her driver's license. Joyce worried that she was stranded or something horrible like that. Buffy knew that she probably left late and was on her way. Oz was also running late. He had some family visiting that he had to spend time with before the big movie night at the Giles' household.  
At seven-thirty, the grill problem was solved. Rupert realized that he did not have gas for the grill and that indeed everything was put together correctly. Joyce just laughed silently to herself as her husband cussed under his breath and left to buy the gas.  
Stacy had also arrived. She did get stuck in traffic and that was the reason she was late. Oz was still stranded at his family's house. He was ready to leave; there was too much family togetherness for him at the moment. He was all set to walk over to join Buffy's bash but his mother didn't want him to walk over by himself and told him to wait until she could give him a ride. He explained all this to Buffy over the phone. She relayed the information back to everyone in the living room.  
"Well, I could go get him if someone comes with me to show me where he lives." Stacy suggested ashes pushed her shoulder length curly brown hair behind her shoulders.  
"I'll go with Stacy and we'll be back in five, at the most. Let me call Oz and let him know."  
Buffy called Oz and told him the new plan. He was thankful and said he would wait outside for them to arrive.  
Buffy and Stacy ran out to Stacy's car as Rupert pulled into the driveway.  
"Hi, we'll be right back." Buffy told him. "We're going to get Oz."  
Rupert, who wasn't even out of his car yet suggested that he could pick up Oz.  
"That's okay, you have to start the grill. We'll be back in about five minutes. He's waiting for us outside of his house. We'll be back really soon." Buffy explained as she skipped top the car with her oldest friend. She got into the car and buckled up then began to give directions to Oz's house.  
On the ride over they began to reminisce about their childhood.  
"I really miss you Buf," Stacy began to tell Buffy as they turned the corner of Oz's street. "We have so much fun when we are together. I-" Stacy was interrupted. She slammed on her breaks but it was too late. Before anyone could another word, a Range Rover sped and hit Stacy's car head first.  
Oz was sitting on the big farmer's porch waiting for his friends to pick him up. He saw everything that happened and ran over to the car that had two of his friends in it. Stacy, who wasn't wearing a seat belt, had gone through the front window of her Ford Escort and laid on the hood covered in blood. She was bleeding badly. He looked in the passenger seat and saw Buffy. The airbag was not set off. Her head rested on the dashboard with blood dripping onto her lap. Somehow the passenger side window had broken and had managed to cut Buffy's neck, or it was from the windshield, he wasn't sure. He was just scared as we saw both girls laid unconscious and rested in each other's blood.  
"Oh my gosh," Oz said silently before screaming for help. Tears poured from his eyes. He didn't know how the driver of the big SUV was and he didn't care. His best friends were in front of him hurt and in pain and there was nothing he could do for with one of them.  
  
Author's note part 2: Sorry to end with such a big cliff hanger but it's 2:43am and I have a long day of fun tomorrow at school. Yes, I realize tomorrow is Sunday but people are moving back into school and then we have all these freshmen things we have to go to. The joys of being a RA. Oh well, please send feedback, reviews, whatever you want to call it and I will write ASAP! Thanks for reading! 


	7. Where Am I?

Chapter Seven-Where Am I?  
  
Author's Note: Thanks to Kristine R. as well as spoiledsquish for your lovely reviews. Thank you for taking the time to write them. Right now I am really stressed out with school and how the administrative people are being so unfair to me. I love writing, it relieves stress. So thank you again Kristine R and spoiledsquish for responding to my stress! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Thanks again L.A.  
  
"Come on, do something!" Buffy heard Oz saying in the distance. His voice seemed stern but faint. As she opened her green eyes, Buffy saw a bunch of EMTs in a circle. She made her way towards them.  
'This one is gone. Probably died instantly," one paramedic whispered to another.  
"The other one doesn't look so good either," the second paramedic said to the first.  
"It's horrible when this happens to anyone, but man, these are kids. They can't be older than sixteen." The first said to the second paramedic.  
  
Buffy began to walk closer to the crowd when someone grabbed her hand.  
"Hey, I think it's time for us to go," Stacy told her friend.  
"Go? Go where?"  
"There," Stacy said as she pointed towards a white light.  
"Wait! Hold on! That's a white light. Are we? I mean did we-"  
"Die?" Stacy asked nonchalantly. "Yeah, I think we did. I think I died instantly. I knew I should have worn my seat belt.  
Buffy was baffled as she and Stacy left the scene of the accident and walked through the white light. "So we're really dead?"  
After passing through the white light, the girls walked to a desk that was labeled, 'check in.'  
As Stacy wrote her name on a clip board, she nodded. "Yeah, I guess we are. Hey, do you think there are sports in the after life? Since I'm dead, I can play sports now. I don't have asthma any more."  
"Stacy! How can you even think that? We are dead. We will never see out family again," Buffy cried as she signed her name.  
"Actually, you will see them again when it's their time," a dark haired boy behind the desk said. He looked about Buffy's age. "And Stacy, yes, you can play sports here. You don't have to worry about your asthma because you don't have it any more."  
"What? Who are you?" Buffy asked as she sighed.  
"I'm Jonathan. I have been checking people into heaven since March 4, 1961. I died in a car crash similar to the one you two were in but my car went off a bridge and into icy water."  
"That's great Jonathan, but who are you? What do you do?" Buffy asked again a little impatient.  
"Oh, I handle arrivals. I make sure everyone checks in. Then I make sure you have your passes to get through the gates and most importantly I make sure it is your time."  
"The gates?" Stacy asked.  
"Our time?" Buffy added.  
"Yes girls, you are going to heaven. It isn't really a long process and it usually goes pretty quickly. After you check in, you can wait over there to board the shuttle." Jonathan explained.  
None of this made since to Buffy and she didn't care. She wanted nothing more than to be home with her family. She was scared. She was fifteen and she didn't want to be dead.  
Okay Stacy, here is you boarding pass. Oh no. This isn't good. Why is this happening again?" Jonathan asked as he checked through files as well as the computer.  
"What is the problem? Am I going to Hell?" Stacy asked.  
No, it has nothing to do with you. It's Buffy. Could you wait on the bench? You're not quite ready to get your pass yet."  
Buffy began to worry. "Am I going to Hell? I know I have been mean to Rupert but I didn't' think I was bad enough to go to Hell. I'm sorr-."  
Jonathan interrupted Buffy and offered a little smile. "Well, Buffy, your not technically dead yet. You're in a coma. I have to go through your file again. DO you mind having a seat? This shouldn't be very much longer."  
Buffy nodded and then sat down.  
"Can I wait with her?" Stacy asked.  
"Yes but only until your shuttle is called, then you must leave."  
Stacy thanked Jonathan as he walked away.  
"Stacy, I don't want us to be dead. I want to tell everyone I love them. I want to hug Dawn, mom, Angel and even Rupert again."  
"Rupert?"  
"Yes, even Rupert. I may be a brat towards him but I still love him." Tears fell from her eyes. "I don't want to die."  
"Hey, at least we are together. How many people can say that they died with their best friend?"  
Buffy wiped her eyes. "Yeah, you're right. At least we are together."  
Stacy hugged Buffy. Before either one of them could say a word, an announcement was made. "All checked in passengers with boarding passes must board now. This is your final call. You must go to your gates now."  
"No, nonononono, Stacy, you can't leave me, I don't have a pass yet."  
"I'm sure I can wait with you. Let's go talk to Jonathan."  
The two girls approached a frazzled Jonathan. "Who do they think they are? Pesky mortals. They are playing God. Don't they know they aren't God? Don't they understand that- Stacy, what are you still doing here, you have to hurry."  
"Can I wait with Buffy until she gets her pass?"  
"What? Oh, no, I'm sorry you must leave now."  
Tears began to escape Buffy's eyes again. She didn't want to be all alone. She didn't even want to be in Heaven. All she wanted was to be back home again.  
"I'm sorry I can't stay with you," Stacy said holding her friend's hands in hers. "Buffy, I love you. You are like a sister to me. I will see you again, even if this isn't your time. And if this isn't your time, know that I will always be with you." Stacy calmly told Buffy. As they hugged, Buffy remained speechless.  
As they said their final good byes, Stacy kissed Buffy's forehead and grabbed her boarding pass and was gone. Buffy walked back over to the bench. She gazed over to the desk where Jonathan was just standing. He wasn't there. She was all alone.  
After what seemed like hours, Jonathan returned. He walked passed his desk and walked over to Buffy. Buffy stood up nervously.  
"So, do you have my boarding pass?" She asked with a semi-attitude.  
"Well, not exactly. I just met with the members of the council and they came to the conclusion that this isn't your time yet."  
"Hu? So am I just hanging around her for a while?"  
"No, it isn't your time yet. You are going back to Earth for a while. You have a lot of living to do before I see you back here again."  
Tears trickled down for Buffy's emerald eyes and down her red cheeks. This time the tears were happy tears. "I get to go home?"  
Jonathan placed his arm around Buffy's shoulder and smiled. "yes, you are going home."  
Buffy flung her arms around Jonathan. "Thank you so much!"  
Jonathan just smiled. "Come on, I'll walk you back to the light."  
As they reached the light, Jonathan held on to Buffy's hand. "I look forward to seeing you again some day Buffy Summers. Now, go back to the human world and live."  
Buffy smiled as she let go of Jonathan's hand. "Thank you Jonathan. Good bye."  
  
Buffy opened her eyes. There was one IV on her left wrist. She felt bandages on her head. She focused on the other side of the room and saw her mother fast asleep on a chair. She then looked down and saw someone holding her hand. When she looked up she was surprised to see Rupert's hand on top of hers. He too was fast asleep. His glasses were on the tip of his nose and looked as if they were going to fall off his face.  
She then tried to sit up. She was in so much pain that she had to lie back down. Buffy used both of her hands to balance herself back onto her bed. Once again she settled down and was in a semi-comfortable position. Once she was settled, she looked back at Rupert. His eyes were opened and filled with tears in his eyes. 


	8. Problems

                           Chapter Eight

       Author's Note:  Thank you to spoiledsquish, Kaylee C and Kristine R. for the reviews.  I am so glad you are enjoying the story.  Your feed back is great and I would just like to thank you!  Hope you enjoy this chapter. LA  J

       Chapter Eight takes place a few weeks after the last chapter.  Buffy has been released from the hospital and is about to return to school.

       Disclaimer: As always I do not own anyone in this story as of now, except Stacy (and at this point she is only mentioned and will most likely not appear again).

       Also, I do not own _The Simpsons nor the songs, "Beautiful" (it's a good song but Christina Aguilera had it first), "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones (don't own it either…I wish I could sing well enough to get one of her Grammies though) or "There's Gotta Be) More To Life" by Stacie Orrico (honestly, I'm not sure I even know the song.  I'm using it because her name is Stacie, read till the end of the chapter and you'll find out why)._

       Thanks again for reading, please leave me a review.  It makes me post quicker!!

       "Buffy, do want to watch TV with me?"  Dawn asked the night before Buffy returned to school.  She was sitting on the couch with her feet on the coffee table watching a rerun of _The Simpsons.  She wanted to spend time with her sister.  She missed her. _

       "No thanks, I'm going to get ready for bed," Buffy explained quickly as she ran up the stairs and into her room, where she had spent most of her time since her release from the hospital. It had been two weeks since the car accident.  Buffy had been home for about a week and a half.  Her doctors said it was a miracle that she wasn't killed in the wreckage.  Amazingly enough, she was physically okay.  She had no broken or fractured bones or eternal damage.  Her doctors kept her in the hospital so long to make sure everything was all right with her.  

       Buffy grabbed her robe and went into her bathroom and locked the door.  She wanted to be alone.  Since she returned home form the hospital, she didn't want to be around people.  She just wanted to be let alone.

       After showering, Buffy wrapped her long, wet golden hair in a towel and put her lilac bath robe on and walked to her bedroom.  She chose to wear a blue night shirt with matching blue shorts and crawled into her bed.  She picked up a text book Willow had brought her and began to read.  Buffy read and reread the story but could not contain the information.  Her mind wondered.

       "Buffy, could we come in?"  Joyce asked her daughter.  Both Joyce and Rupert took notice of Buffy's behavior and were worried about her. She wasn't her life-loving fun self.  

       "Sure, I was finished with my homework anyway.  I'm getting ready for bed now, so can you make it kind of quick?"  Buffy said as she took the towel out of her hair and began to brush it.

       "Going to bed?" Rupert asked.  "It's only eight o'clock, are you tired?"

       _Rupert, just shut up and let me go to sleep, I don't want to talk.  Can't you tell?   Just leave me alone,_ Buffy thought to herself.  "Yeah, I am a little tired.  Plus I want to be well rested for school tomorrow."  _Oh joy, school,_ she thought.

       "Angel called while you were in the shower.  He wanted you to call him back," Joyce said smiling.

       "I'll just see him in the morning.  I'll talk to him then.  If you guys wouldn't mind, I would like to go to sleep now.  I have to get up early for school tomorrow," Buffy said as she hugged both Rupert and Joyce from her bed.  "Could you guys shut off the light please?"

       "Of course sweetheart, good night," Rupert smiled as he shut off the light and then closed the door.

       "I'm worried about her Rupert.  This isn't Buffy.  She isn't acting like herself."  Joyce whispered to her husband outside Buffy's door. 

       "I know she isn't herself but she just experienced something traumatic.  I don't think it would be fair if we expected her to act like her normal self.  As matter a fact, I would be more concerned if she walked around like nothing happened.  Darling, she had a dream about being in heaven with her dead friend.  This is normal stuff after such a horrible experience."  Rupert explained to his wife.

       "I know but she isn't herself.  I miss her."  Joyce answered.

       Rupert wrapped his arms around his wife's waist and held her for a moment.  "If she hasn't changed in a little while then do you want to look into therapy for her?"

       "I would like that a lot."  Joyce said as her eyes widened.  They continued talking as they went down the staircase.

       _God, they're going to make me see a shrink?  Haven't I already been through enough?  Why are they doing this to me now?  And I didn't dream that I was in Heaven with Stacy, I was really there._  Buffy thought to herself as she laid in her bed.  

       "Buffy, Angel is waiting outside," Dawn yelled up the stairs to her sister as she got ready for school herself.  She finished putting her lunch box in her pink Jansport backpack.  She zipped her bag up as waited for Rupert to take her to school.

       "Thanks, bye," Buffy told her sister without waiting for a reply.

       Buffy stepped off the porch and walked towards the SAAB.  Angel got out of the car and met her half way on the lawn.  

       "Hi," Buffy said nonchalantly.

       "Hey," Angel said as he put his arms around her and hugged her.

       Buffy hugged back but didn't really want to be touched.  She just wanted to get into the car and go to school.

       "Hey, we're going to be late, we should get going," Buffy told him as she pulled away from the hug and went into the car.  Xander was sitting in the back seat.  She hadn't seen him since she was in the hospital.   She didn't really want to see him.  She didn't really want to see anyone.

       "Wil's with Oz, they were going to school together."  Xander said.  There was awkward silence between the two of them and he tried breaking it but it wasn't working.  He wanted to make Buffy comfortable but he didn't know how and most of all, she didn't want comfort.  She wanted to be left alone.

       "You and Angel are going to the big dance on Saturday, right?" Willow asked at lunch.  Before Buffy had a chance to answer Willow continued with excitement and glee in her voice.  "Oz asked me to go!  I'm nervous and I'm excited and you have to help me pick out something to wear.  I want to make a good impression on him."

       "He likes you too; you don't have to make any type of impression on him, be yourself," Buffy told her friend as she played with her salad which she wasn't eating.  She realized that she was kind of harsh sounding when she told Willow that but she didn't care.  Willow wouldn't take it personally.

       Willow sat back.  She knew that Buffy was still not herself because of the crash.  How could she be?  One of her friends died in the accident.  Buffy told Willow that she died and she was in Heaven.  Willow said she believed her.  She wanted Buffy to feel better again but she knew she needed time.  "Are you and Angel going on Saturday?"

       "To what?" She asked irritated.

       "The dance.  Are you and Angel going?"

       "Oh yeah, I guess so," Buffy mumbled.

       "Good, it'll be fun." Willow said.  She hoped that the outing would make her friend feel better.  She actually prayed that the dance would make her friend a lot better.

       "Right, fun, just what Buffy needs."

       Before Willow had a chance to comment about Buffy's statement, one of Cordelia's friends approached Buffy and Willow.

       "Buffy, I am so sorry about your accident, it's tragic.  I'm sorry about your friend.  Are you doing all right?"  Harmony Kendall asked.

       Harmony never made the attempt to talk or socialize with Buffy and her friends.  At least not since Buffy began dating Angel.  Harmony was mad because Cordellia was her friend and wanted Angel and she couldn't have him.  Once Cordy and Xander began dating, Harmony was envious that Buffy not only had the most popular boy on campus but was also one of the most popular people in school herself.  On that morning, Harmony was honestly concerned about Buffy because she was a friend of her friend.  

       "You know Harmony; you are the ninth person that has never made the time to talk or socialize with me prior to my accident, and now you suddenly want to know how I am doing?  Why are you talking to me now? Why don't you go back and tell the gossip mill that I AM FINE!"  Buffy yelled at Harmony.  With that being said she stomped out of the cafeteria and left to go to the library.  

       "I was just trying to be nice.  I didn't realize that I would upset her so much."  Harmony said looking at the floor.

       "Hey," Willow said as she looked at Harmony, "She's just going through something hard right now.  I'm sorry she yelled at you."  _But she is right,_ Willow thought to herself,_ you have never made the time to get to know her or talk to her._

       "It's just weird, her friend was our age and now she's dead.   I can't imagine what it must feel like."  Harmony said as she walked away.

       Willow thought for a second.  Buffy was one of her best friends and she didn't know what to do to comfort her.  Willow just didn't know what to do.

"You want to dance?"  Angel asked Buffy at the dance.  She had been sitting on the bleachers in a daze for the whole forty-five minutes they had been at the dance.  Angel didn't want to leave her side.  He knew that she was still upset about loosing Stacy in the crash.  She wouldn't talk about her experience.  He just figured when she was ready to talk about it then she would.  Until then he would be supportive and do what he could for her.  If she wanted a star in the sky he would somehow make sure she got it.  He just wanted to see her happy again.

       Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" filled the gym.  Couples were in each others' arms.  Willow and Oz smiled as they swayed to the music, which neither one of them really liked.  Xander and Cordy were laughing as they danced.          

       Buffy looked at all the happy couples.  She then began to stare at the bleacher in front of her.  "Maybe later, I'm not really in the mood now," she answered.  She didn't know why she went to the dance.  She didn't want to be around anyone.  She just wanted the comfort of her bed.

       Angel sat down next to her.  He wanted to hold her in his arms and never let go, at least not until she was back to herself again.  She was hurting and there was nothing he could do for her.  She didn't want anything that he could give her.  "What do you want to do?  Do you want to get out of here?  I can come back and get Xander."

       "No, I told you I would dance the next song."  She answered still looking in front of her.  

       "All right, but if you want to leave early let me know, we can blow this place off, okay?"

Buffy nodded her head.  Angel was such a good guy to put up with her and she knew that.  She rested her head on his shoulder.  Angel thought that she was going to begin to open up to him but the next song came on.  

       "I like this song, do you want to dance?"  Buffy asked almost smiling for the first time in weeks.  

       Angel didn't want to jeopardize the moment so he returned her smile and said yes.  They held hands until they reached the floor.  There they wrapped their arms around each other.  Buffy rested her head on Angel's shoulder.

       Norah Jones' "Don't Know Why" echoed in the gym.  As Angel held her in his arms, Buffy thought about the lyrics: 

_When I saw the break of day   
                     I wished that I could fly away   
                     Instead of kneeling in the sand   
                     Catching teardrops in my hand _

       The song reflected how she was feeling.  She just wanted to get away from everyone, her mother, Rupert, Dawn, Angel, everyone.  She wished she had wings she could spread wide and fly away.  She was sick of people checking on her to see how she was feeling or if she needed anything.

                     _Something has to make you run   
                      I don't know why I didn't come   
                     I feel as empty as a drum   
                     I don't know why I didn't come _

       As the song ended Angel pulled away from Buffy but was still holding her delicate hand in his.  He said nothing to her.  He only smiled and to his surprise she smiled back.  She gave him a big smile and squeezed his hand a little harder.  He really thought that she was starting to come around.  He took her hand and led her over to her friends.  They chit chatted with Buffy while Angel, Xander and Oz went to get drinks for everyone.  

       "Thank you," Buffy said smiling at Xander who handed her a Sprit.  He nodded back and smiled.  It made him feel so good to see one of his best friends smile again.

       The six of them chatted about school and even gossiped a little about teachers for a while.  Other people came over to them and talked with them.  

       Buffy felt great.  She felt the best she had felt since her accident.  She was laughing and actually enjoying herself, without feeling guilty.  

       "All right, we're going to end the dance with the hit "There's Gotta Be More To Life" by Stacie Orrico.  Have a safe night and good night," the DJ said as he put on the song.

       Buffy began to shake and cry as she ran out of the gym and away from her friends.  She could not bare to hear the name Stacy, even if it wasn't her Stacy.  She began to run to Angel's car and tried to get into it but he had locked all of the doors.   His alarm went off.  She just sat next to the car and began to cry hysterically.

       Angel shut off the alarm and ran over to Buffy.  He quickly wrapped his arms around her and held her as he helped her stand up.  She grabbed onto Angel like she was never going to let go.  

       "Buffy, what happened?  What's wrong?"  He asked as their friends gather near them.

       With tears flowing freely from her eyes, all she could say was, "I want to go home, bring me home.  I want to go home."

       Angel walked Buffy to her front door.  She was still crying and didn't say anything as she unlocked the door.  Once the door was unlocked, Buffy left Angel's side and darted up the stairs.  She didn't acknowledge her mother or Rupert sitting on the couch.  Once she reached her room she slammed the door.

       "Angel, what happened to Buffy?"  Joyce asked putting her book down and getting off the couch.  Rupert too placed his book on the coffee table and walked towards the young man standing at his door.

       Angel recapped the evening and didn't leave any detail out.  He included that she was happy and he thought that she was going to talk to him.  Angel also told them that she was smiling and seemed to be enjoying herself until the last song.

       "What song was it?"  Rupert asked knowing he was unfamiliar with the popular music.

       "'There's Gotta Be More To Life' by Stacie Orrico."

       "And when it came on she just flew out of the room?"  Joyce asked making sure she understood him correctly.

       "The DJ hadn't even put the song on.  He just announced it as the last song and she was out of the gym before the song even came on."  Angel explained.

       "It has to be because of the name of the artist," Rupert assumed.  

       "Or it could have been the song on in the car when it crashed," Angel suggested.

       "Possibly," Joyce said.  "But you know, she hasn't said Stacy's name once since the she woke up from the coma.  I'm going to check on her.  Thank you, Angel."  Joyce hugged her daughter's boyfriend as she went up the stairs to check on her daughter.  

       "Yes Angel, thank you for bringing her home.  We'll talk to you tomorrow about her condition.  Maybe you can stop over at some point tomorrow and see her.  Right now I think we're going to check on her before we go to bed."

       Angel nodded.  He wanted to do something more than hang around to hear from his girlfriend's parents but there was nothing more that could be done.  He nodded and got into his car and left.

       Joyce ran back down the stairs.  Buffy was asleep.  She walked over to her husband and wrapped her arms around him.  She rested her head on his chest.  Tears fell from her eyes.  She wanted her daughter to be happy and back to herself but it wasn't going to happen, at least not yet.

       Rupert held on to his wife.  He was fighting the tears that began to form in his eyes.  "I guess we'll give Glory Murk a call on Monday."   


	9. Aftermath

                                                Chapter Nine- Aftermath

            Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to post.  My computer was being fixed.  I was without a computer for almost three and a half weeks!  I forgot how much I actually used my computer!  Hopefully it's all fixed now and everything will be great! I hope there are still interested readers in this story!

            I wanted to thank those of you who reviewed the last chapter.

            I hope everyone enjoys chapter nine!  Remember to leave reviews and feed back!

            Thanks again for reading!       L.A.

            "So school is going all right?"

            Buffy looked out the window.  She was at her last therapy session.  Coincidently, that day was also the seven month anniversary of the crash.  It took so long for Buffy to talk about the crash and Stacy.

            "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

            "School, how is it?"  Glory Murk asked her client for a second time.  Glory was young but quite accomplished.  She graduated with an undergraduate degree from Yale and pursued her master degree from Harvard.  She was preparing to leave the country and get her doctorial in Europe somewhere Buffy had never heard of.  Glory had authored several books in physiology that catered to adolescence and trauma.  She was as good as therapist came.        

            "School is well.  It's all right.  I like my teachers.  I have all of my classes with all of my best friends.  I even have gym with Angel."  Buffy explained.

            "That's great," the older blonde said with a smile.  Glory reflected back to her first meeting with Buffy.  She could hardly get Buffy to say two words.  That insecure girl was now as open as a book.   The first month and half of therapy was difficult.  Buffy didn't talk about the accident or Stacy.  She focused on Rupert and her feelings towards her own father.  She did this as a shield and Glory knew it.  Buffy was trying to make herself comfortable with Glory before she poured her heart out about her best friend's life and death.

            "Are you going to do what we talked about?'  Glory asked as she pushed her golden locks behind her shoulders.

            "I bought a beautiful journal.  The cover is a midnight blue silk with silver designs on it.  It is very Asian looking.  It's absolutely beautiful."  Buffy smiled.

            Glory returned her patient's smile.  "That is excellent Buffy.  We did talk about that a few weeks ago, but there was something else.  Have you done the other thing we discussed?"

            Buffy looked sheepishly at Glory and said nothing as she nodded her heard.  She stared at Glory's certificate hanging on the wall from Harvard.  It was framed in a cherry wood frame.  Buffy continued to focus on the hanging as she answered Glory in words.  "No, not yet."

            Glory nodded silently.  She knew Buffy hadn't done what they discussed.  "That was our goal.  That is the major thing we wanted to accomplish from these sessions.  Why don't you think you have accomplished this?"

            Sighing, Buffy took her focus away from the wall and focused on Glory.  "I-I-I don't know.  Angel and I were talking about it.  He's going to bring me on Saturday.  It's the only time he has free and he wants to come with me."

            Glory glanced at her watch as Buffy talked to her.  They were ten minutes over their time.  "Buffy, our last session is now winding down.  We only have a few more minutes left.  I want you to do something for me.  I want you to make me a promise.  I want you to see me after you go with Angel."

            "But today is our last session."

            "I know, your right," Glory nodded.  "But I would like to talk to you about that.  It won't be here, or at least it doesn't have to be.  We can go out for coffee or ice cream or something such as that.  The location isn't as important as actually going to talk about it.  Is that all right?"

            Buffy agreed and left Glory's office.  She walked outside on the steps of the building and waited fro Rupert to come and pick her up.  She thought about her mixed feelings on ending her therapy sessions.  She was glad that she didn't' have to mess up her study hall any more on Fridays.  She did like Glory.  Glory was blunt and young and didn't take excuses or beat around the bush with thongs.  She just came out and said how she felt about things.  Glory had brought on a side of Buffy that people hadn't seen in a long while.

            "Hi Buffy, sorry I'm late.  Traffic was horrible," Rupert apologized as she got into the car.  "I hope you weren't waiting too long."

            "No, I have only been out here for a few minutes.  Our session ran late.  How was your day?"  Buffy asked, changing the subject.

            Rupert smiled.  He was thrilled with the progress that Buffy made in her therapy.  He liked the new persona she was donning.  Buffy showed Rupert more respect and love over the course of those months than she had any other time in her life knowing him.  "It was all right.  Glad it's over and it's the weekend.  How was your session?"

            "It was all right.  She wants me to call her after Saturday.

              "That's' nice of her.  I wish that you would let your mother or I go with you.  We would like to be there for you."

            Buffy sighed.  She didn't want to get into a deep conversation about Saturday.  After all, she and Glory had just talked about it.  "I know but Angel and I want to spend some time together and well, I want him to be there and he wants to be there."

            Rupert could sense the emotion in her voice and didn't like it.  He changed the subject.  "Isn't homecoming tonight?"

            "Yeah.  Angel is picking me up around seven-thirty.  Is it all right if I stay out until eleven-thirty?"

            "Of course it is.  You know if there is any thing you don't feel comfortable with or if there is any drinking-" 

            "To call you and mom and you will pick me up.  Yes, yes, I know."  Buffy answered.

            Rupert slowed down and then stopped for the red light.  He looked at Buffy as he quickly cleaned his glasses.  "We both just love you Buffy and want you to be happy and safe."  He said putting his glasses back on his face and remained waiting for the light to change.

            Buffy returned her step-father's look of concern and offered a smile.  "I know you both care about me and love me."

            Rupert nodded as the light changed to green.  He turned onto Revello Drive and pulled into the driveway.  Before he had the chance to remove his seat belt, Buffy spoke again.

            "Just to let you know, I also love both of you too."  Rupert was truly shocked.  He could feel the tears form behind his eyes.  This was the first moment in their history that she had recognized an emotion towards Rupert.  He threw his arms around his eldest daughter and hugged her.  To his surprise, she hugged back almost as tight as he hugged her.

            "Do you remember last year?"  Angel asked Buffy at their spot on the beach away from the bon fire and the crowd.  Angel sat on the rock along the water.  Buffy sat on his lap.  She was wearing his letterman jacket.  They could see the bon fires burning in the distance.

            "Yes.  This time last year I was incredibly anti-everything.  You brought me here and it changed everything.  We talked a lot and you-" Angel chime din as he interrupted Buffy.

            "And I began to fall in love with you."  Angel smiled.  It was true.  He knew her attitude was just a front she put up and that she was not as she acted.

            Buffy looked at Angel and kissed him softly on his cheek.  "Really?  I thought you were teaching me about 'starfish?'"

            Angel held Buffy tight to his body.  "Yeah, 'starfish.'"  The sound of the waves was the only thing that could be heard before Angel spoke again.  "You have changed so much from last year."

            "Gee, do you think?"  she asked sarcastically.

             "Totally!  I mean there was the attitude thing."

            "Yes, I think you have so nicely pointed that out."

            Angel smiled.  "Right, but that is just one thing."

            Buffy was confused.  "What do you mean?"

            "I mean you are completely a different person.  Besides dropping the attitude thing, you have built a better relationship with your parents, especially your step-father."

            Buffy nodded and looked at her hands that were intertwined with Angels'.  "Well, yeah.  He's the only father I have.  I know that eh has always loved me and always will."  This was the first major issue she and Glory had come to.  She thought that Hank Summers would never be in her life again and Rupert Giles would always be there for her.  "What else do you have up your sleeve?"

            Angel looked into the ocean.  The full moon was reflected in the water.  "I mean, my point is that you don't act childish any more.  You have grown up so much, especially  since-" Angel stopped.  He didn't want to finish the sentence in fear that it would make Buffy upset.

            "The accident?"  Buffy interjected.

            Angel nodded.  He hated bringing the subject up because he knew how it upset Buffy would feel.  "Yes.  My point is that the girl I fell in love with is turning into a beautiful thoughtful courageous woman.  I love the girl that you were and love the woman you're becoming Buffy."

            Buffy held Angel's hand tighter and continued to watch the waves.  She was silent.  She didn't like what Angel had told her.  She loved the fact that Angel loved her so much and thought so highly of her.  She didn't like how he pointed out to her that she was becoming an adult.  The thought frightened her.

            Buffy and Angel sat in silence as they both concentrated on different parts of the ocean.  After a while they walked back to the bon fire and rejoined their friends.

            Buffy scanned the crowd for her friends as Angel walked towards his.

            "Buf! Over here," Willow yelled.

             Buffy remained with Willow and Oz for the rest of the event.  She then walked over to Angel's Saab.  He was waiting for her.  She opened the car door and sat down.

            "Are we ready to go?" He asked.

            "Yeah, is your clock right?"  Buffy asked.

            "Hmmm, yeah it is, why?"

            "Because it says it is only ten forty- five.  I don't have to be home until eleven-thirty.  Do you want to do something?"

            Angel wanted nothing more than to spend more time with Buffy but he declined.  "Buf, you know I would love to but we're leaving early tomorrow, remember?  I think we should rest.  I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be really hard."

            Buffy looked out of the window and into darkness.  She knew Angel was right.  She thought it was probably more sensible to go home early.  "I guess you're right.  What time do you want to leave?"

            "Eight.  It's a few hours away, plus you wanted to show me a few things before, right?"

            Buffy nodded as he pulled behind Joyce's SUV.  "So I guess I'll see you at eight then.  Good night."

            Angel got out of the car and walked Buffy to the door.  He held onto her hand as they stood on her porch.  They shared a quick kiss.  "I'll see you early tomorrow morning.  I love you Buf."

            "I love you too."

            As they let go of one another's hand, Angel turned back towards her.  "And Buffy, try not to be nervous, tomorrow will be fine."

            "So that's were you used to live?"  Angel asked as they sat in front of her former home in LA.  

            "Yeah.  It seemed so much bigger than.  We didn't have the garage or the third story addition.  Dawn and I spend hours playing on that tree in the back.  It was so perfect to climb. And Oz used to live in that blue house, except it wasn't blue then, it was kind of a light brown, almost tan."

            "Is there anyone in the area who would remember you?"

            "I-I don't think so."  

            They stayed for a few more moment until she gave him another address to go to.

            "Park across the street, don't park right in front of the house."  She ordered Angel.

            "Who lives here?"  He asked as he followed Buffy's directions.  The house was large and beautiful. 

            They sat in Angel's car and as she watched two young girls and a younger boy playing in the front yard.  She couldn't make out what they were playing but it looked like hide and go seek or tag.  She couldn't take her focus off the children that she would never know.  Just then a pretty dark haired woman, who appeared to be in her thirties or very early forties, walked to the porch.  The children picked up the few toys that were outside.  She smiled as the children put the toys to the side and continued to play.  Buffy was about to tell Angel whose house they were at when a car pulled into the driveway.  Tears formed in her eyes as the man got out of the car and greeted the woman who appeared to be his wife and then his children.

            "Buffy, Buf?  Are you all right?"  Angle asked as he saw her expression.

            Buffy wiped her tears away and looked at the floor of Angel's car.  "That's my father.  We-we can leave now."

            Angel put his hand on top of Buffy's.  He didn't want to be there any longer.  He could see the pain in Buffy's face. "All right.  You just tell me where I am going, ok?"      

            She nodded.  As Angel drove away, Buffy noticed Hank Summers look at her in the eye.  She looked away.  She wiped her face and gave Angel directions to another house.  "You can pull into the driveway of this house."

            "And whose house is this?"

            Buffy closed her eyes.  "It's Stacy's parents' house."

            Angel parked the car and he followed Buffy out of the car.  They walked up to the front door and knocked.  There was no answer.  She knocked once more and still there was no answer.

            "No one must be home."  Angel said.

            Buffy reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope.  "It's all right, I wrote them a letter.  I also found some pictures that I think they would want to have.  We can go know."

            "Once more stop?"  Angel asked.

            Buffy swallowed hard and nodded her head as she gave directions to their last destination.

            They reached the spot at one –thirty.  It was a beautiful afternoon.  The trees and flowers looked so radiant, so alive.  

            "Buffy, I think I found it."  Angel said.  

            Buffy followed behind Angel.  He did find it.  "You struck gold, that's her."

            Buffy knelt down on the grass.  This was the first time ever she had been to Stacy's grave.  She could not go to the services because she was still in the hospital when they took place.  She traced the name along the stone with the tips of her fingers.  She thought how the dates were too close together.  Angel stepped back a bit to give Buffy her space.

            "Stace, I finally came!  Sorry it took me so long to visit you.  Things have been, you know, hard.  When I woke up from the accident I told people about being in heaven with you and you know, no one believed me!  It was such a beautiful experience and no one believes me.  I guess it is kind of far fetched but I know it happened."  Buffy felt tears form but she continued talking at the grave of her dead friend.

            "I'm going to see Dave Matthews in a month and a half.  It is going to be so hard, to know that we were we were supposed to go that night, but I have to go, you know?  I have to do these little things so they aren't hard things any more."  Tears built up more.  It became a little harder to talk but she continued anyways.

            "Oz wanted to come too but he had family coming in from the east coast so his mom wouldn't let him.  I know he wanted to be here so badly."

            Finally, Buffy just lost control and began to cry hard.  Her tears danced from her eyes, slid down her cheeks and fell onto Stacy's head stone.

            "I miss you so much Stacy.  You shouldn't have died. I wish you didn't die.  I wish I could be dead with you.  I wish Jonathan would have let me go with you to the train.  I wish I could still talk to you and laugh with you and go on double dates with you. I wish that we could have seen Dave in concert together. I wish that you could be my maid of honor in my wedding, but you won't be and you can't be here, at least not physically."

            Buffy wiped her eyes again and paused.  Angel began to walk back over towards her but still stayed behind.  He didn't want invade her space.

            "I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm mad that your dead.  I'm pissed.  You were sixteen.  Sixteen years old!  What kind of life did you have?  What did you get to do?  Not much and it isn't fair!  You're still a kid, you were a kid.  I'm so angry at you and with God; I didn't want you to leave me."

            This was the first time Buffy had said these words out loud.  She began to calm down after a few moments and finished her chat.  "Well, I guess there is a plan for everything.  I shouldn't be angry with you or God but I am.  Maybe He as a bigger and better plan for you.  Maybe he has things for you in heaven that you can't have or do here."  Buffy smiled.  "Maybe he wanted you to play soccer."  Buffy smiled again as she remembered Stacy's first reaction being dead.  She was excited she would get to play a sport she never got to play in her life because of her asthma.

                 Buffy thought again as she was getting ready to conclude her visit to the grave.  Her eyes were finally dry as she continued.  "I guess I'm not angry with you or with God.  I was but I think I'm just sad now.  I'm just sad.  I'm sad that you are no longer with me, at least not in physical form.  I-I remember the last thing you said to me before you went and boarded your train."  Buffy thought about the words Stacy had spoken to her before they separated. 

             "_Buffy, I love you. You are like a sister to me. I will see you again, even if this isn't your time. And if this isn't your time, know that I will always be with you."_

            "Stace, you know it wasn't my time.  You will always be a sister to me.  I know I will see you again.  I know you'll always be with me."  Buffy said as once again tears flowed freely from her eyes.  She touched the headstone once more and traced the name and dates on it.  She stood up and looked at the grave.  Angel was on his way over to console her.  "Stace, know that I will always love you too.  I'm going to go and doing some living for the both of us now."  

            Angel put one arm around her shoulder.  "Shhhhh, it's all right.  We're going home now. Shhhhhh," he said as they walked to the car.


	10. Crushed

Chapter Ten-Crushed  
  
Author's Note: Again, I am sorry it has taken me so long to post another chapter. School has been really busy and the holiday season was completely crazy, but it's all in the past now so hopefully updating this story will be more regular. I want to finish up this story and move onto my other one, "Life's Little Surprises." This chapter is long but please bear with me. It had been so long since I updated and I felt I had a lot to put into the story. Anyway, thanks again for reading. Feel free to email me with feedback.  
Lisa Anne  
  
"Angel Theodore Harris," Principal Flutie announced at graduation. Angel strolled up to the podium and took his diploma from his principal. Classmates as well as attendants at the graduation cheered and applauded for the sports star as he walked off the stage and back to his seat.  
After graduation, Mrs. Harris, Buffy and Xander went to find Angel to take pictures. They found Angel amongst a group of friends. The circle of friends had been together since kindergarten. That fall would be the first time the friends would be alone in school. Finally, Angel noticed his family and Buffy.  
"Congratulations!" Mrs. Harris smiled as she hugged and kissed her son.  
"Yeah bro, you're out of here for good. You're so lucky."  
Angel nodded. "Yeah but I have another four long years ahead of me in a place where I know no one."  
"Yes, but you're going to be in the big city. New York is so big and there is so much to do! You're so lucky you'll be living there," Buffy said finally moving closer to Angel. When Buffy and Angel returned from visiting Stacey's grave in LA, Angel had gone home to find a thick envelope from New York University. He had received early acceptances to his first choice school.  
"It is a great place to visit," Xander added.  
"You can come at anytime, both of you," Angel said as he gazed into Buffy's eyes. She smiled at him.  
"All right you three, let me take a picture of you guys. I have to get home to let the caterers in the house." Mrs. Harris said. Buffy and Xander joined Angel. Mrs. Harris took several pictures of the three of them as well as pictures of her two sons standing alone. She also took one of Angel with his arms around Buffy's waist. Buffy then took a picture of the three members of the Harris family.  
"All right Mom, that's enough. I'm sure there will be more picture opportunities at home. " Angel said as he held Buffy's hand. Mrs. Harris took that has a hint and found her way to her car. Xander and Buffy joined Angel in his car. Angel was about to take off when his best friend Doyle waved him over to his car.  
"I'll be right back," Angel said closing Buffy's door.  
Xander and Buffy watched Angel and Doyle talk for what seemed like hours before other friends joined the two of them.  
"Mom is going to kill him. We were supposed to go right home after." Xander commented, as he grew more and more impatient.  
"No she won't and you know it." Buffy added.  
Xander nodded. "Your right. She is going through an empty nest syndrome even though he isn't gone yet and I'll still be home. He could probably kill someone and she'd over look it."  
Buffy turned around in the seat and looked at Xander. She could tell he was hurt. "So things at home are-"  
"Crazy." Xander said cutting Buffy off. "Everything is all about Angel. If he doesn't do a chore or forgets something, Mom is always like, 'don't worry about it dear, your brother didn't mean too. Maybe you should help him, he has a lot on his mind with moving and all.' I'm so sick of things! I just wish he would leave all ready." Xander sternly exclaimed as he stared out the window at his brother. "He doesn't even know what he is doing. His head is so high up in the clouds that he doesn't know what is happening around him."  
Buffy was speechless. She didn't know hot to respond to Xander's anger. She could understand his pain. She could also sympathize with Mrs. Harris too. Her first born was going to school. Not only was he leaving home but he was also traveling three thousand miles across the country.  
"Xand, I'm sorry, I didn't know things were that stressful at home. That really sucks."  
Xander sighed. As he saw Angel wrapping up his conversations. He was hugging and shaking hands with people from his crowd. One by one the crowd dwindled down to just Angel and Doyle. They continued to talk for a few minutes. Finally, Angel began walking towards the car. "It's all right, just two and half more months until things are better."  
"Sorry about that. I didn't realize we were talking for so long." Angel said as he began to drive away from his high school for the last time. "Doyle is gonna stop by later, after his party ends."  
"Goody," Xander mumbled under his breath.  
Angel continued to talk about his found memories of his friends from high school as he drove back to the Harris household. He pulled into the driveway and was greeted by his mother. As Xander expected, she wasn't angry or upset, just curious what kept the three so long. Angel explained to her that he was talking to his friends before excusing himself to go to his bedroom and change clothes.  
About one hundred members of Angel's family came to his party. That didn't include family friends or his friends. Xander acted very bitter towards Angel. Whether on purpose or not, Angel didn't talk to Xander or Buffy for hours at the party. He was mingling with his family before his friends showed up.  
"I don't want a party when I graduate," Xander began to explain to Buffy as they sat at a picnic table on the side of his house, away from the crowd. "It's too much over some dumb day when you get a piece of paper that gets you out of school just to join the real world. I really don't want to celebrate that."  
"Plus you don't like your family," Buffy added.  
Xander nodded. "You got me there. I don't like most of my family. They can just send the big checks."  
Silence filled the two friends as they watched the party continue without them. Xander was the first to speak as he watched Angel from a distance with his friends. "I can't believe he hasn't talked to you since we got here."  
"Xander, there are a lot of people here." Buffy answered.  
"So that gives him the right to treat you like garbage?"  
"He isn't treating me like garbage, he just hasn't talked to me for a while. He's busy. This is his day to say good buy to his friends and then to move on."  
Xander shook his head in disagreement. "And you're not a friend?"  
"I'm his girlfriend, it's different. He's saying bye to friends he has known his whole life. He'll have time for me later."  
Xander again shook his head. "I think he is ignoring you. It's almost five and he hasn't noticed you yet, and you told him that your mother is picking you up then."  
Buffy thought for a moment and almost agreed with Xander. Angel could have talked to Buffy for just a few minutes but he hadn't. He hadn't said anything since they got out of the car.  
"Your lucky you're getting out of here. I wish I could." Xander said dazing into the sky.  
"You could come home with me and watch a movie with me while I watch Dawn." Buffy offered.  
Xander asked his mom and she agreed it would be all right if Xander left Angel's party. When Buffy's mom arrived she got out of the car and talked to Mrs. Harris for a while. She found Angel and congratulated him and gave him a card with some money in it.  
"Are you leaving?" Angel asked Buffy.  
"Yeah, I have to go. Remember I told you I had to watch Dawn tonight?"  
Angel nodded. "I forgot all about that. I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you more or spend more time with you," Angel apologized as he held Buffy's tiny hands in his.  
Buffy smiled. "It's all right, we'll spend some time together later. I have to go now though. Mom and Xander are-"  
"Xander?" Angel questioned.  
"Yeah, he is babysitting Dawn with me."  
"Oh." Angel managed to say. "I guess I haven't really spent a lot of time with him either. I'll make it up to you guys. I mean, I still have two and a half months before I go to school."  
Buffy kissed Angel. "I know you will baby. I'm not worried. Go have fun with your friends."  
Angel returned her kiss. "I'll call you tomorrow."  
Buffy nodded as she hugged Angel one last time. "I'll be waiting. Have fun." She let go of Angel and walked towards the car.  
  
"Sorry Buf, he isn't here," Xander said aggravated. He was very angry with his brother for hurting his friend the way he was.  
"Is he around at all any more? We had plans last night. He didn't show up. He isn't showing up for any of our dates any more. I haven't talked to him in two and half weeks. He emailed me a few nights ago and that's it. Is he all right?"  
"Yeah, he's just acting like macho-jerk lately. I wish I could say something more than that."  
Buffy sighed before she pouted. "I guess just tell him I called. We're still on for tonight, right?" Buffy asked. She, Xander and Willow were supposed to go to the mall in Xander's new car. School had been out for almost a month. Xander got his license three days after school ended. His mother had just bought a new Sabb so she gave her older model to Xander, like she had done with Angel.  
"Yes were are. See, there is one Harris that you can count on."  
Buffy smiled. Xander was a good friend to her and she cherished their friendship. "Thanks. I'll see you tonight."  
Two hours later the telephone rang in the Giles' household.  
"Hello," Rupert answered. "Yes, she's in the family room, let me get her for you, hold on." Rupert took the cordless telephone with him to the family room where Buffy and Dawn where watching a movie together. "Buffy, phone."  
Buffy pulled herself off of the floor and took the phone form her stepfather's hand before thanking him and running upstairs to her room. "Hello?"  
"I am so glad to finally talk to you! I've missed you so much!" Angel said cheerfully on the other end.  
Buffy was very happy to hear his voice after what seemed so long but she was so angry with him for going that long without talking to her. "Hi- I mean me too-I mean where have you been?" Buffy said, finally putting together the words she wanted to say.  
"I know it's been a few days," Angel paused before correcting himself, "all right, it's been a lot of days since I have talked to you but I have been busy. I have been working and then hanging out with my friends. You know how Larry is joining the Army? He left a few days ago for some military base in the south. Anyway, I was wrong and I should have called you but it's been late when I finally get a chance to call. I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you Sunday. You and I can do whatever you want to. I promise, no breaking these plans."  
Buffy was silent. She wanted to say yes but she couldn't say anything. She was angry.  
"I know you're mad, you're not saying anything. Buffy, I am very sorry. It won't happen again, promise. Plus, maybe we can plan a good time for you to visit me in NYC."  
Buffy finally spoke up and agreed to give Angel another chance. "Buffy, you won't be sorry, I promise."  
  
"Rupert, you'll just have to go for the both of us. I can't leave Dawn, she's really sick," Joyce said to her husband on Friday evening. She and Rupert were in the kitchen drinking tea and eating homemade cookies before bed.  
"Joyce, darling, I can't attend a wedding by myself. That's weird, and honestly no fun." Rupert explained as he sipped his tea. "We'll call Claire or Ken and let them know we are unable to make it."  
"Rupert, the wedding is on Sunday, that's a day away, we can't back out of it now. That's not right."  
"Hiya," Buffy said as she entered the kitchen. She opened the fridge and grabbed the orange juice and poured herself a large glass. "What isn't right?"  
"Your mother wants to make me go to her friend's wedding by myself on Sunday."  
Buffy nodded her head. "That isn't right. That's weird and no fun," Buffy said echoing the same comment her stepfather had said moments before she had. Both Joyce and Rupert chuckled at this coincidence.  
"Why don't you want to go Mom?"  
"Because Dawn is sick. I can't send her over to her friend's house with the flu and chicken pox, and you have plans with Angel." Joyce explained rationally.  
"I'll stay home and watch her. It makes more since than you canceling your plans. Angel and I will reschedule for another night." Buffy said with a smile. On the inside she was disappointed. It had been almost a month since she and Angel did anything together but she felt this was right to do.  
"If you're sure," Joyce questioned.  
Buffy finished her glass of juice and smiled. "Yes, I'm sure."  
"I know it isn't much but if your mother doesn't mind you can invite Angel over here. I know it isn't as fun as you whatever you had planned but he is more than welcomed to spend time with you here." Rupert suggested.  
Joyce nodded. "I think that is a great idea. Dawn will probably be sleeping all day anyway. Your father and I will put our TV and VCR in Dawn's room so the only thing you'll have to bring her is her dinner and some juice."  
Rupert stood up and placed his now empty teacup in the sink. "How does that sound to you?"  
"It sounds great," She smiled.  
  
"And I will have my cell phone on if you need anything." Joyce told Buffy as she and Rupert were getting ready to leave for the wedding.  
"I'll have my phone on too."  
"Call us if anything happens or comes up." Joyce added.  
"We'll be back kind of late, probably around eleven o'clock-" Rupert began to tell Buffy before his wife interrupted him.  
"Or even midnight."  
"It's all right, I have everything under control. You two go and have fun. I will be fine and Dawn will be fine." She told her parents as she walked them to the door.  
"All right honey. Have fun. Bye," Joyce said as she hugged her daughter.  
"Buffy, make sure Angel leaves at a decent hour, like by nine or ten?" Rupert added as he too gave Buffy a hug.  
"Don't worry, he actually has to get up tomorrow morning. He has to work. You two have fun. Good bye!" Buffy reassured her parents as they left. She stood on by the front door and waved goo bye to them.  
Buffy climbed the stairs and knocked on her sister's door. "Are you awake?"  
"Yes," Dawn coughed.  
"Do you need anything?"  
"Well, I need my medicine, it's downstairs. And I could use for more ginger ale. I don't want it cold though, just at room temperature." Dawn said weakly.  
"Two pills and a warm can of soda. I can handle that. I can even put a straw in it. I'll be right back." Buffy said as she went down stairs to retrieve the few things her sister wanted. She climbed up the stairs and noticed the time. Angel was due to be there in just two hours. She thought that had plenty of time to shower and get ready before his arrival.  
"Here you go Dawnie, do you want anything else?"  
Dawn tried to sit up but laid back down. "The lotion on the floor. I'm so itchy." Dawn thanked Buffy as she handed her the bottle. After piling the lotion on, Dawn then took her medicine, which usually knocked her out for several hours. "Thanks Buffy. I know you gave up a date to stay with me today."  
Buffy patted her sister's head. "It's all right, I wanted to do this. Just yell if you need me. I hope you feel better."  
"Thanks Buffy. See ya." Dawn told her sister as she rolled over and went to sleep.  
Buffy then took a long shower. She put on her robe and wrapped her hair in a towel after her shower and walked to her room. She pulled out a sleeveless pinkish-purple shirt to wear with a pair of jeans.  
Buffy dressed quickly. She was about to blow dry her hair when she heard a knock on the door. She ran down the stairs and answered the door.  
"This is a pleasant surprise. You're early," Buffy smiled up at Angel who had a picnic basket with him.  
"I finished making lunch kind of early so I thought I'd head over here and surprise you."  
"And poof, you're here." She smiled again before standing on her tip toes to kiss him. "What did you make?"  
"Garden salad with grilled chicken and tomato sandwiches. For desert I bought pound cake, strawberries and whipped cream." Angel said proudly. He told Buffy he would make up for the time they didn't spend together and he was proud of himself for trying.  
"It sounds great, let's go to the kitchen and eat, I'm hungry!"  
"No, not the kitchen, here, follow me," Angel told her. She followed him into the family room. He took the picnic basket from her. He lifted the top and grabbed the blanket he packed and spread it on the floor. They sat and enjoyed the food Angel made.  
After they lunch, they remained on the blanket as they watched Moulin Rouge. Angel wasn't too excited about the movie but he knew it was one of Buffy's favorites. He and Buffy cuddled on the floor.  
Buffy knew Angel wanted to watch the movie because he knew she liked it so much. In the middle of the movie she turned and faced Angel and kissed him.  
"What was that for?" He asked with a smile.  
"For being you. I love you."  
"I love you too," Angel said also smiling and returning her kiss.  
The couple continued kissing. They rolled around on the floor until Angel laid on top of Buffy. He pulled away from kissing Buffy and began to tickle her. She let out a huge laugh.  
"I've missed you," Angel told her as he tickled her again.  
Buffy finally pulled away from Angel and smiled again. "I've missed you too. I like it when you're with me. I'm going to miss you when you go away in a few weeks."  
Angel pulled Buffy close to him and played with her hair. "I don't want to think of that, at least not today. We'll worry about that later." Angel said as he kissed Buffy again. Angel again wound up lying on top of Buffy. Her hands wondered up and down Angel's back. His hands wondered up and down Buffy's sides. He traced her body with his hands. Buffy's hands found their way under Angel's now untucked shirt. She began to rub his bare back. Meanwhile, Angel's hands did the same to Buffy.  
The kissing became more and more intense. Buffy was trying to pull Angel's shirt off of him.  
"Wait, Buf, are you sure you want to do this?" Angel asked in between kisses.  
"Yes," Buffy told him returning the kisses. "Angel, I do want this, more than I've wanted anything else in my life."  
Angel then kissed Buffy passionately. That afternoon they ignored everything. They ignored the knock at door and the movie. Buffy didn't know if Dawn had been trying to get her attention and she didn't care. She and Angel shared a part of themselves with each other that no one else had touched before.  
  
"Wow," Buffy whispered when they finished.  
"That was amazing," Angel said with his arms wrapped around Buffy.  
"I have never experienced anything like that before. It was so intense but it felt so nice."  
"Yes, it did." Angel said as he let go of Buffy. He started to pick up his clothes to get dressed. After putting his jeans on he looked at Buffy who remained wrapped up in the blanket. He smiled. "You're beautiful."  
She laughed. "Right, sweaty smelly me is beautiful."  
Angel picked up Buffy's clothing and laid next to her on the floor. "Everything about you is beautiful. That's just one of the reasons why I love you."  
Buffy beamed as she held Angel in her arms. She stroked his bare arm. "Really? I was going to say the same about you."  
Their moment was interrupted.  
"Buffy? Are you awake?" Dawn yelled from upstairs. Buffy knew it hurt Dawn to yell so she quickly yelled back. "Dawnie. I'll be up in a second." Buffy began to get dressed and then kissed Angel. "I'll be right back." Angel watched Buffy run up the stairs and heard her talking to her ill sister. He felt bad. He knew what he had to do within the coming weeks and he felt bad, none the less; it still had to be done.  
  
When August rolled around, it seemed warmer than usual. Buffy and her friends spent almost everyday at the beach or the mall. The evenings ended with ice cream or sorbet. The week before Angel left for New York he tried spending as much time with Buffy as he could. On their last day together he brought her to their spot on the beach. The spot where their romance began to blossom during that bond fire. They sat side by side and held hands. "Hey Buf, I want to talk to you about something," Angel said as he turned to face her.  
"Sure, talk." Buffy smiled as she took off her sunglasses.  
"You know I'm leaving in a few days."  
She pouted. "I don't want to talk about that now."  
Angel grew a little more serious. "I think we have to."  
Buffy was alarmed. Angel sounded serious. "Angel? Are you all right?"  
Angel then took his sunglasses off. "Buffy, please listen to me. I love you, you know that," he began to explain as he reached out to smooth her blonde hair. She nodded as she stared into his chocolate brown eyes. "There is something I have to do before I leave and I think it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do."  
Buffy had goose bumps down her spine. She feared what was coming. "What do you have to do?"  
Silence filled them for a moment. Angel felt tears make their way to his eyes. He let go of Buffy and looked at her as the tears traveled from his eyes and down his cheeks. He looked out into the water. He watched the waves moving onto the shore before crashing.  
Buffy saw Angel's expression and grew worried. "Angel, are you all right?" She asked as she grabbed his hand. "Angel?" She asked again now with tears in her eyes. "Angel, I'm worried."  
Angel coughed and moved his hand away from Buffy's. Silence filled the air for a few more moments before Angel finally spoke up. "Buffy, things are going to be different in a few days. I'm going to be on the other side of the country while you're still here."  
"I didn't expect things to stay the same. Things are going to be different for everyone. Xander isn't going to fight with you for the bathroom and the school's football team is going to suck and-" Buffy was cut off by Angel.  
"Buffy, things are going to be different for us. I mean, we're not going to see each other until Columbus Day in October, and that's only going to be for four days. It's not like we're going to be able to see each other everyday."  
"I realize that but we can still talk to each other and email each other. Things will be hard on us but we'll get through this." She smiled.  
  
Angel shook his head. "Buffy, I-no, that isn't fair. I don't want things to be unfair for you."  
"I learned a long time ago that things aren't always fair. It's life, it's just how things are."  
"Buffy-" he was interrupted by her.  
"Angel, we'll make it through this, I know we will. We may fall down a few times but we will make it through this. Like you said, we'll see each other in a like a month and half." Buffy assured him as she rubbed his arm.  
Angel grew more and more sad. Buffy had no idea what he was trying to say. "Buffy, what I'm trying to say is I think we should um, I think we should go our separate ways."  
Buffy let go of Angel's arm and sat up and shouted, "What?!"  
"I think it's for the best. It isn't fair to either one of us to have this long distance relationship. I think it would be easier if we broke up."  
Buffy stared at him for a few minutes with her mouth open. She was shocked. Angel never said this to anyone before. He had felt this way since he received his acceptance letter months ago. He loved Buffy and thought this would be the best thing to do. It wasn't fair to have such a strain in their relationship while they were so young.  
His heart ached as he saw Buffy's reaction. She didn't cry like he expected. She was angry. "Can you say something?"  
"What do you want me to say? 'That's all right Angel. I feel great Angel.' I feel like shit Angel. How can you say this after the amazing summer we've had together?"  
"Amazing summer?" Angel questioned. "I treated you like crap in the beginning."  
"Yeah you did, in the beginning. The past month and a half has been amazing. We've done so many things. We went to that amusement park and on picnics and to the beach and we made love over and over again. How can you say it wasn't amazing?"  
Angel was speechless. There were more good parts than bad parts of the summer. He saw the hurt in Buffy's face and wanted to hold her. After the news he gave to Buffy she wouldn't want him to touch her, rightfully so. He didn't make a move to try and hold her.  
"Is that it? Was that your big thing you had to do before you left?" Buffy asked him as she stared at his face.  
All Angel could do was nod. He knew he had hurt Buffy.  
"Good, now that you have that out of your system, could you please take me home?"  
Again, Angle nodded as he followed Buffy to his car. The ride to her house was silent. Angel hadn't fully stopped the car when she opened the door to get out. She unfastened her seat belt and simply said, "Goodbye," as she ran into her house. Thankfully no one was home. She ran up the stairs to her bedroom and slammed the door. She dived onto her made bed face down and cried her heart out.  
Meanwhile, Angel pulled into his driveway. Xander was on his way out. He and Cordelia were going to the movies and he was late picking her up. "Hey Angel, can you back out of the driveway, I'm leaving."  
Before Angel got back into his car he walked over to Xander and knocked on the car window. Xander rolled the window down to see what his brother wanted. "When you get back I'd call Buffy to check on her."  
Xander was a little shocked. He got out of the car and went towards his brother. "What happened?" He yelled in the driveway before Angel had a chance to get back into his car.  
"I broke up with her." Angel told his brother while facing the ground. He knew Xander would be mad. After all, Angel had hurt one of his best friends.  
"Thanks for the info. I'll check on her after the movie." Xander said as he slammed his car door. He wondered why his brother was such a jerk as he sped off.  
  
Oz, Willow, Xander and Cordelia took Buffy out for dinner on Angel's last night. She knew why everyone was being so nice to her but she didn't care. She wanted to be around her friends. She was touched that they all cared for her the way they did. Even Cordy cared about Buffy.  
Xander drove Buffy home after dinner. "I'm sorry he is such a jerk," was all Xander could say.  
Buffy smiled. It had been four days since her break up with Angel and she was cooling off. Looking at the situation from an adult standpoint, she understood why Angel broke up with her. She didn't want to look at as an adult.  
Buffy looked down at her folded hands on her lap and forced a smile on her face. "It isn't your fault."  
"I know, but he is my brother so I'm related to him so I'm guilty by association," Xander joked.  
A real smile found it's way to Buffy's face. "Thank you for everything."  
Xander pulled into Buffy's driveway. He parked the car and walked her up to the front door. He gave her a hug. "I won't be around tomorrow."  
She nodded. "I know, he's going tomorrow."  
Xander stared at one of his best friends. He didn't know what to say to try and make her feel better. "Maybe we can catch a movie or go to the beach or something."  
Buffy knew what he was trying to do but it wasn't working. "You don't have to do anything else. I will be all right. I just need some time, that's all."  
A smile formed on Xander's face. "I know you'll be all right, you're a strong girl. I just want you to feel better soon."  
Buffy hugged her friend. She appreciated and understood where he was coming from. "I will, quit worrying about me. It's getting late you better get going. I know you have to get up early to bring Angel to the airport."  
Xander stared at his friend one last time. He knew she was right and that he had better get going.  
Buffy closed the door and went into the living room. She was happy that her mother and stepfather had gone to bed and Dawn was over her friend's house. She didn't feel like talking any more. She sat on the couch for a minute reading a new magazine that had come in the mail when there was a knock at her door. She wondered what Xander could possibly be coming back to say.  
When she looked out the door window she was a little surprised to find Angel looking back at her. She took a deep breath and answered the door.  
"Hi," she managed to say.  
"Hi," he answered back. "I didn't wake you, did I?"  
She shook her head. "No, I actually just got home. What are you doing here? I thought you'd be a sleep or getting ready to leave tomorrow."  
"I am all ready to leave. I'm all packed and most of my things were shipped last week. I figured I could get some sleep on the plane. It's a long flight, I'll have time to sleep." Angel explained.  
Silence filled the two of them before Buffy finally spoke up. "Why are you here?"  
Angel sighed. "I felt bad with how things ended. I wanted to make sure you were all right. Xander said you have been really upset."  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Of course I've been upset. How did you think I'd feel?" Buffy paused. She saw Angel trying to speak and she interjected before he had the chance. "Listen Angel, I understand you had to do what you had to do. I respect that. Yes I am hurt, it'll take time for me to get back to myself, but I am all right."  
Angel looked at her like he'd never see her again. "Are you sure?"  
Buffy nodded. "Yes, I will be fine. I just wish that you would have given us a chance with you going away before you ended things."  
Angel nodded in agreement. His heart was too broken. His heart also reassured him that he did the right thing. He didn't like or want to leave Buffy but he had to. "All right, I guess I'll be going then. I just wanted to make sure you are okay. Bye Buffy."  
Buffy watched Angel walk away. She almost felt bad for him. "Angel." She shouted as she ran towards him.  
"Yes."  
She stood right next to him and smiled. "Good luck in New York."  
Angel returned her smile. "Yeah, thanks."  
Buffy turned and started walking towards her porch. "Buffy?" Angel shouted.  
Buffy turned and looked at him. "If you ever need anything I promise I'll be there for you." He told her as he walked closer to her. He was standing right next to her when he looked into her eyes. "I still care about you."  
Buffy sighed and offered a smile. "I know Angel."  
Angel offered a quick hug to her. Buffy smiled. She was glad they talked rationally before he left. She walked away and towards the porch. "Good bye Angel," she said as she turned to him. She closed the door before he had a chance to replay back. She watched him through the family room window. He sat in his car, wiped his eyes and drove away.  
Buffy sighed as she walked up the stairs and then into her bedroom. That was the first night since her break up with Angel she slept peacefully. 


	11. Moving On

Chapter Eleven-Moving On  
  
Author's note: A quick thank you to Kristinec and Shy for the reviews. I am glad you like the story! I think this chapter is lighter than the last. Please give me feedback! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Lisa Anne PS- there is some mild swearing in the middle of the story. Nothing big, just thought that I'd give a warning.  
  
The freedom that all school kids know as summer vacation had come to a quick end for the students of Sunnydale High. Buffy found her self back in school along side her friends quickly after Angel's departure. Her friends thought she was moody and miserable in the beginning of the school year. Once her extra curricular activities began Buffy went back to being her old self. She was cheerful and content. She smiled a lot more. Most importantly by the end of September she was the happiest she had been in a while.  
Homecoming weekend found the friends at the bon fire. Instead of dwelling and feeling bad for herself, Buffy was happy. She reflected briefly on past years and of course she thought about Angel but she was all right with how things were. She did wonder what would it be like if she and Angel hadn't broken up. That weekend was the one she was supposed to have spent in New York City with Angel. She quickly got over that thought. She was excited about the bon fire.  
Once at the bon fire Cordelia introduced her to her friend Ford from the ravel high school. Ford was dark haired and cute. He liked to laugh and he seemed to really like Buffy. By the end of the night he worked up his courage to ask Buffy out on a date. To his surprise she accepted.  
Buffy and Ford occasionally dated. Buffy looked at these dates as nothing more than just that, dates. She didn't want to be in a relationship again but it felt good to have someone hold her hand and tell her she looked nice.  
Right before the winter formal Buffy received her driver's license. She debated on whether she wanted it or not. She thought about Stacy quickly and then realized that she couldn't stop living life because of an accident. Her driving instructor said she was one of the best teenage driver in a long time.  
The winter formal fell on the weekend before winter break. Buffy and Ford went together along with Oz, Willow, Xander and Cordelia. The couples ate and danced and had a good time. Things went great until everyone left the dance. Willow and Oz remained a happy couple by night's end. Xander and Cordelia and Buffy and Ford had an alternative ending.  
Cordelia broke Xander's heart that night. She broke up with him because she was tired of being in a relationship. She was tired of being referred to as a couple and not as individual people, at least that was the excuse she gave. The truth of the matter was that Cordelia didn't love Xander and she never would. She wanted a man with the good looks of Heath Ledger. Instead she had Xander. He may not have been the most gorgeous of all boys his age but he had a heart of gold. If there was one thing about Xander it was if he cared about you, you knew it. He never let his feelings for his friends go unnoticed. Cordelia was too wrapped up in physical appearances as well as her teenage hormones to realize that Xander loved her no matter what.  
Buffy also broke a heart that night. She looked at her relationship with Ford as just having fun. She didn't think their relationship would lead anywhere. She was wrong. Ford began to fall in love with her after the month and a half they were together. Buffy felt bad that she led him on some how. She ended things the night of the formal. He presented her with a diamond pendent on a gold chain as a Christmas gift. She declined the gift. She told him he was a great person but she didn't want anything from him. Apologetically she explained she didn't want to be part of a serious relationship, she just wanted to have fun. Ford was speechless when they arrived to Buffy's house. They never exchanged looks or words as she looked at him. Ford couldn't bare to look at Buffy so he looked at the street light a few yards away. Buffy slowly got out of the car and walked towards her porch. She wanted to turn around and apologize for hurting Ford. After all, she knew what it felt like to have someone hurt you from out of the blue. Angel had done it to her that previous summer. Before she had the chance to turn around she heard Ford's car speed off.  
  
"Buffy."  
The greeting she received at the Harris household on Christmas Eve surprised Buffy. She had expected Xander to answer the door but it wasn't him.  
"Angel, hi, how are you?"  
Angel was pleased to see his former girlfriend. He had missed her. He had wished that she was there to see him but he knew she wasn't. He could tell from the expression on her face that she wasn't expecting to see him.  
"Um, I'm doing well, why don't you come in?" He asked as he moved away from the door so she could come in. "Xander will be read in a few."  
Buffy walked through the door and went right to the big black leather couch in the living room. She saw Angel follow her from the corner of her eye. "How's college life? The big city?"  
Angel sat in the leather chair and smiled. "College has been good. It's something like high school but with shorter weeks and no study halls. I don't have classes on Mondays, Thursdays or Fridays."  
Buffy was kind of puzzled by this discovery. "But when are you in classes?"  
"Tuesdays and Wednesdays, all day. I have classes on Tuesdays from eight fifteen in the morning to almost six at night, and that's just Tuesdays. Wednesdays are worse, I have a science lab until nine-forty-five at night. It stinks."  
Buffy smiled. College sounded like such freedom, even from classes. "How is city life?"  
"It is the greatest. There are so many great clubs and so many things to do. It's always none-stop. I'm going to be there for four years and I don't think I will get to experience everything the city has to offer." Angel paused for a moment before shifting the table. "How about you, how have you been? School and such?'  
Before she had the chance to replay, Buffy was interrupted by a female voice. "Angel, I couldn't find the towels, I was going to take a shower."  
Buffy turned around to find a fair skinned, blonde haired girl standing behind the couch. Buffy thought that the girl appeared to be a few years older than her.  
"I told you they are in the bathroom closet, to the left. Wait a minute, I would like you to meet someone. Kate, this is Buffy. Buffy this is my girlfriend Kate. I met her at NYU." Angel said as he stood up.  
"Angel has talked about you. He thinks highly of you. It's nice to meet you." Kate told Buffy, almost pouting.  
Buffy smiled and nodded. She felt numb. She expected Angel to move, after all, she had moved on too. She didn't expect his new girlfriend to be spending the holidays with him.  
"Buffy, are you ready?" Xander asked as he flew down the sitars. The pair were going shopping for last minute holiday gift.  
"Yeah, I'm ready to go. Bye Angel. It was nice to meet you Kate."  
Kate sighed. She was kind of annoyed that Buffy was interrupted her conversation with Angel. "Right, bye."  
Angel walked away from Kate and walked his brother and his ex- girlfriend to the door. "Bye Buffy, see ya."  
Gracefully, Buffy nodded. Looking at the door she simply replied, "Yeah, see ya."  
  
"Can you even believe that? I'm too boring to be associated with her! She actually told me this to my face! I can't believe after all the time we invested into our relationship that she said I was boring! Why is she such a snot?" Xander exploded to Buffy as they walked through the mall. It was jammed pack with people. Holiday displays decorated the storefront windows.  
"I think you were looking for bitch. Why is she such a bitch?" Buffy corrected Xander as they entered Bath and Body Works.  
"Bitch? Don't you think you're being a little harsh? What exactly is a cucumber-melon?" He asked as he examined the blue-green lotion.  
"Harsh? She broke up with you for being yourself and she did a week before Christmas! You didn't cheat on her, you just loved her. You were devoted to her and her self-righteous negative attitude and your asking me why I think she's a bitch? Do I need to explain any more?"  
"Yes, please explain-"  
Getting annoyed, Buffy continued to defend her friend's situation. "I don't know what else I can say. She never appreciated you and-"  
"Buff, I didn't mean Cordelia, I meant this lotion. I don't understand all the names."  
Buffy smiled. It was a forced smile. She felt badly for Xander and what he was experiencing. She also couldn't stop thinking about Angel and Kate. She had such a rotten attitude. Buffy could tell from the few seconds she had talked to her that she wasn't in love with Angel.  
The duo weaved in and out of stores trying to find the perfect gifts for everyone on their lists. After two and a half- hours they went to the food court to grab a quick drink.  
"I say we blow this place. I can't do any more shopping!" Xander suggested as he sipped his coke.  
"We still have to find a gift for Wil."  
"Tomorrow. We can do that tomorrow. I just have to get out of here." Xander commented again as he looked around. "Holiday shopping is just crazy."  
Buffy finally agreed. "All right, all right. Let's go, but we have to go shopping tomorrow."  
Buffy and Xander threw away their empty soda cups and walked to Buffy's car. They buckled up and turned on the radio. The new Dido song was on. Buffy quickly shut off the radio knowing that was the last song that Xander and Cordelia shared.  
"Why does it hurt so much? Why?" Xander asked almost in tears as he looked out the window.  
"I don't know, it just does. It's a horrible feeling. I'm sorry I can't do anything else. I wish there was more I could do for you. It's just going to take time. I wish it didn't have to take so long because I hate seeing you like this."  
Xander shook his head. "There is nothing anyone can do. You're right, it takes time." He paused for a minute. "You know, I think you are the most selfless person I know."  
Buffy couldn't help but laugh. She knew she wasn't perfect. She also knew that she was selfish at times. "What do you mean?"  
"I mean you have put your feelings aside for me. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to see Kate and Angel together. It was hard for me to accept because I knew it would hurt you. I was so pissed for bring her home. You haven't brought this up once today."  
"Xander, we're talking about you, not about me, that's why I didn't bring it up. You need me to be there right now so, I'll be there for you."  
A smile took form on Xander's mouth. "Again with the your selfless."  
"No," she said as she pulled into Xander's driveway. "I'm trying to do what you did for me. I'm trying to just be there and to support you, that's all."  
The smile stayed on Xander's face. "You know, I've known Willow for, well, pretty much since birth. Our mother's were friends and, well, you know how things are in small towns like Sunnydale. I love Wil she's like a sister to me. I always thought she was my best friend until you moved here. Buffy, I love you."  
Buffy smiled and hugged Xander. "I love you too." She rested her head on Xander's shoulders as they embraced in their hug.  
Xander took comfort in knowing Buffy was there for him. She truly cared for him and he had a feeling she always would. He took a deep breath and inhaled her perfume. It was a soft sent unlike Cordelia's strong smell. Buffy fragrance suited her. As they broke from their bear hug, Xander couldn't help but notice Buffy's big green eyes staring at him. "Buff, you're a good friend. I hope-I hope this doesn't hurt our friendship." Puzzled, Buffy was about to ask Xander what he meant. She was confused. Before the words had a chance to leave lips, Xander kissed her. The kiss was soft and sweet. Xander and Buffy looked at each other for a moment before either one of them could say anything. "Um-" Buffy said in a complete state of confusion. "I second that um. I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. That was wrong and completely out of line." Xander said sounding disgusted with himself. "Xander, I don't meant to be rude or uncaring in your time of need but-" "You didn't feel anything in that kiss?" Buffy nodded. She didn't want to upset Xander, since he was already needy at that point. Laughter filled the car. "I have to say that kiss was, well, I felt like I was kissing my sister, you know, if I had a sister." Buffy joined in on Xander's laughter. "So your not upset?" "How could I be upset with that? It just wasn't meant to be." "I guess we're stuck as being just friends." Xander nodded. "Yep, we'll always be friends." 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve  
  
Author's note: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you have guys are still enjoying the story! ME, I'm sorry but I can't tell you who Buffy is going to marry! I'm trying to make the groom a surprise! If you want to know you'll just have to keep on reading! Again, thank you for your comments and remember feedback is always great!  
  
Happy New Year! Lisa Anne  
  
"I think you should get the baby blue one, it looks great with your hair," Buffy told Willow as they tried on dressed of the prom.  
"I don't know, I like the black one too, I don't know. How does that pink one look on you?" Willow asked as she changed into the black dress for the third times that visit.  
"It's not pink, it's a pale magenta. I think I like it. This could be it," Buffy said as she walked out of the dressing room and looked in the mirror. She was waiting for Willow to come out of her dressing room to show her the dress. "Wills, what do you think?  
Willow opened the door to the dressing room and reviled the long, straight floor length dress. The strapless dress hugged Willow's skinny body. "Buffy, that looks beautiful on you!" Willow told her best friend as she stared at the calf length, light magenta dress. The silk dress had dark magenta flower designs running over the dress.  
Buffy nodded her head. "Thanks Will. Your dress looks great too. I think I like that more than the blue dress"  
The girls took off their dresses and got changed. They paid for their dresses and started out of Lord and Taylor and were going to walk to the Steve Madden store for a fun pair of shoes when they ran into Cordelia.  
"Willow, Buffy? What's up?"  
Willow and Buffy exchanged looks before answering Cordelia. The girls hadn't talked to Cordelia that often since she and Xander had broken up around Christmas time. Buffy was still annoyed with Cordelia because of her self-centered attitude. Willow on the other hand didn't really care or think about Cordelia. After all, she and Cordelia never really liked each other, especially after Cordelia and Xander began dating. Willow knew that Cordelia would hurt her friend and in the end she did. They were both extremely annoyed because Cordelia was acting as if the prom was the next day when in fact it was over a month and a half away. "We're good Cordelia, yourself?' Buffy answered with a forced smile. "I'm great. Just shopping for last-minute prom accessories. You know, the prom is so close and I don't want to wait until the last minute and forget something. Did you two just get your dresses?" "Actually, yes, we just bought our dresses from Lord and Taylor. Now we're going to look for shoes." Willow told Cordelia with a slight attitude. Willow wanted Cordelia to get away from them. "Wow, Lord and Taylor? Buffy, I would expect that from you but Willow? My Willow you have grown up and now shopping in real stores. I'm almost impressed." "Cordelia, really, is there anything you need or want to tell us that can be done through a civil conversation and involves no bashing?" Buffy asked quite infuriated at that point. "Oh, right, what I wanted to talk to you about, yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you. I haven't talked to you since Xander and I broke up." Cordelia paused. Just as Willow was about to say something Cordelia cut her off and continued. "Just because we've broken up doesn't mean I don't want to be friends with you." Buffy gave Cordelia a quick look. "Cordelia, we were never friends. We get a long but we're not friends. Plus, you hurt Xander so much when you broke up with him, for no reason may I add. I really have nothing to say to you. Oh yeah, and may I also add that we were never friends!" "Gee Buffy, why don't you tell me how you really feel? I guess we have nothing else to say to each other." Cordelia stormed off. Willow and Buffy watched her walk away. "Good riddance," Willow commented. "She's so strange, I don't understand her. Friends? Were we ever friends?" "I don't think so. I don't think she has ever liked us." Willow shrugged before continuing. "Do you want to go to Steve Madden now?"  
Buffy nodded and the two walked through the mall.  
  
May was warm and sunny. The sun had shone for the entire month. Everyday was just as beautiful and sunny as the last. At the end of May Sunnydale High School held their prom at an area hotel. "Buffy, we're going to be late," Xander yelled up the stairs. Buffy was running late. She was franticly getting ready as her friends waited downstairs.  
"I'm almost ready, give me a few more seconds," she shouted downstairs.  
"I'll go up and help her," Willow said as she left Oz's side and ran up the stairs carefully. "Buffy, do you need help?"  
Buffy opened the door to her room. "Does my hair look all right?" She asked. Her golden blonde hair was wrapped in a bun on top of her head. Golden curls bounced on the sides of her face.  
"It looks great."  
"Will, you look so beautiful," Buffy commented. Willow's straight hair was all curled and wavy. She looked very feminine. Buffy grabbed her purse and walked with Willow down the stairs.  
"We were wondering when you'd join-wow, Buffy you look stunning. Wow, you look nice," Xander told his date. He knew Buffy was pretty but the way she looked in that dress really blew him away.  
"Thanks, you look pretty good yourself. You look great too Oz," Buffy commented to her friends. Her mom took pictures of the friends before they were on their way.  
  
"Oh excuse me, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bump into-oh Buffy, it's only you. Never mind, I'm not sorry about anything," Cordelia said as she ran into Buffy in the ladies room.  
"Cordelia, it's always a trip to see you. Having fun?" Buffy asked to be civil as she washed her hands.  
Cordelia had her compact in her hands as she applied more make-up. "I am having a great time. My date and I are I mean. He's a real boyfriend and not some lame-ass friend who I had to go with because I don't have a real boyfriend."  
Buffy grabbed a paper towel and wiped her hands. As she threw it into the waste barrel, she looked at Cordelia and smiled. "I'm going back to my 'lame-ass friend' Cordelia, it's always a pleasure to talk with you. We don't do it often and I have to remember to do it even less."  
Buffy went back to her table and found her friends talking and laughing. She joined in on the laughter as she sat next to Xander. She declined to tell everyone about her run-in with Cordelia. Christina Agulieria's Beautiful began to play. Oz and Willow got up to dance as did Buffy and Xander. Buffy swayed to the music as she and Xander continued to talk and laugh. Xander spotted Cordelia also dancing with her date. He was hurt for a quick minute and then he was better. He didn't care about her, not when his best friend was in his arms.  
"Did you see that?" He asked catching a glance of Cordelia's date.  
"See what?' Buffy asked.  
"Cordelia's date. They are the couple to the left of the DJ."  
Buffy looked and was a little surprised. "Is that Ford?"  
Xander nodded. "I think so. Wow."  
Buffy stared at them for a few seconds. She didn't care. She never felt any romantic feelings towards Ford. Buffy actually felt a little bad for Ford. He was a nice guy and she hoped that Cordelia wouldn't treat Ford as she treated Xander.  
Oz hosted a gathering at his house after the prom since his parents were out of town. The party was tam. The kids ate food and watched teen movies. Buffy wondered outside for a bit. It wasn't long before Xander found her.  
"Hey," she smiled at him.  
"Hey yourself. What are you doing out here? There's a party or something going on inside."  
"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to come out here. It's so nice outside. It really is beautiful out here tonight."  
Xander sighed as he stood next to her. "It is really nice. Warm too."  
Buffy nodded. She didn't want to talk to Xander about the weather. She wanted to talk to him about the feelings she was felt about a boy. The boy made her have butterflies in her stomach. He made her smile and happy to be with him. He was kind and gentle. He always considered other people's feelings before his own. He had been there for Buffy again and again. She had the lovey-dovey feelings for Xander. She kept telling herself that they had talked about this before, at Christmas time. They shared a passionless kiss. Xander even said it was like kissing his sister.  
'I'm sorry, what did you say? I was zoning out." She lied as she asked Xander to repeat whatever he had just said.  
"I said I think it's going to be a great summer with Angel staying in New York. He might come back to visit but it's doubtful. Mom said we could visit him. I kind of miss him." Xander was right. He did miss Angel. Angel was his brother. Even though his pissed him off a lot he still loved him. "I'm sure though you don't want to talk about him. Is everything all right Buf?"  
Buffy turned and looked at Xander. This was it. She was going to tell him how she felt. "Yeah, I was just thinking." "Okay. About.?" Xander asked.  
Buffy sighed. "Well.I was just thinking about this guy."  
"A guy? Do I know him?"  
"I think so. I kind of have feelings for this guy. You know that butterfly felling you get when you like some one?"  
Xander nodded. He had known that feeling a little too well.  
"Well, I have the butterflies and I think I really like him. I think about him a lot."  
"Wow, it sounds like you have it bad. Have you told him how you felt."  
Again Buffy sighed. "Kind of."  
"And what did he say? I can't imagine anyone not being excited that you have those feelings for them."  
Buffy was silent. She looked up into the sky. The sky was cloudless and she could see stars for miles and miles.  
"Did it go that bad?" Xander asked.  
"I don't know."  
He was confused at that point. "You don't know? What did he say?"  
Still looking up into the sky, Buffy answered her friend. "Nothing yet."  
"Not yet? When is he going to give you some time of feedback."  
Buffy took a deep breath. "I don't know." Silence filled the air. She looked Xander straight in the eyes. "What do you think?"  
"I think the guy is a jerk."  
Buffy shook her head. "A jerk? No, no he isn't."  
"Why isn't he? He hasn't told you how you feel."  
"I don't think he realizes it is him I have those feelings for."  
Xander was silent for a moment. He thought he knew where this conversation was finally heading but he didn't lead on yet. "Why wouldn't he realize you were talking about him." Still looking Xander in the eyes, Buffy gave him the confirmation he was looking for. "Because I haven't told him- you that I have been talking about you."  
  
Xander was silent. If this conversation had happened around Christmas time there would be no doubt in his mind to how he felt. At that moment he didn't know what to do or say.  
"Are you going to say anything?" Buffy asked looking at him.  
"I don't know what to say. I think I need some time to swallow this and then to think about this some more."  
Buffy nodded. There was no rush. She just felt better that he had now known.  
  
"Buffy, I will give you your thirty dollars after dinner. Thank you for taking care of the yard." Joyce smiled as she cut her meat on her plate. "Thirty dollars, that's it? I feel like I should get more," Buffy whined as she talked about her allowance with her mother at the dinner table.  
"Well, that's what you earned. It's more than you usually get for your allowance. By the way, you did a great job of cutting the grass and planting the flowers.  
"Mom, I think I deserve more. Some people would consider that kind work child labor."  
Joyce rolled her eyes at her daughter as she placed her fork on her plate. "You mowed the grass and planted flowers while you worked on your tan. It took you almost three days. I would hardly call that child labor. Plus you volunteered to do it. Your father and I just thought you'd like some extra money, that's' all. I could always take it back-" Joyce was cut off by her daughter who know was singing a new tune.  
"Did I say child labor? I meant fun. I had fun. Thirty dollars is plenty, thank you." Buffy said to her mother as she talked about accepting the money.  
"You could always get a job," Rupert suggested as he buttered his piece of bread.  
"Excuse me?" Buffy asked with a slight attitude.  
"You could get a job at the mall. School's out and stores in the mall always hire summer help," Rupert explained.  
Buffy was almost repulsed by the idea but then she liked it. "After dinner I'll check it out. Good idea, thanks," Buffy smiled at her stepfather. She quickly turned and looked at Dawn. "Dawnie would you like to come with me to the mall after dinner?"  
Dawn thought for a minute. "Is Xander going to be there?"  
"Possibly, I was going to call him."  
Dawn thought again. She had a slight crush on her sister's new boyfriend. Xander and Buffy had made an agreement that they would try out the dating thing. If either one of them felt weird or didn't think it was heading towards anything then they would break up. They had been dating for a month and things were gong smoothly. Dawn thought about all the hand holding they did in public and then kisses they shared when they were together. "No."  
"All right but don't say I didn't offer to take you anywhere," Buffy stated. Joyce and Rupert thought that Buffy and Dawn didn't spend a lot of time together any more. Sometimes they would go out just so Buffy would have to watch Dawn and they would be force to spend time together.  
After Buffy cleared the table she called Xander to ask if he wanted to go with her to the mall. He wasn't home. She thought of calling Willow next but she had gone with Oz to visit his relatives in LA. She was going to go solo.  
She walked in and out of stores filling out applications. She wasn't sure where she wanted to work.  
"Can I help you?' a fair skinned brunette asked Buffy in Sam Goody.  
"Yeah, I was wondering if you were hiring part-summer help?"  
"How many hours were you looking for?" Buffy was asked.  
"Just a few days and maybe a weekend every now and then."  
"Well, I was looking for a part-timer to work ten to twenty hours a week. You'd have to work some weekends, maybe more than one."  
Buffy thought about it for a few seconds. She then nodded. "Are you offering me a job?"  
The brunette smiled for a moment before extending her hand out to Buffy. "I'm the manager Faith and yes, I am offering you a job."  
Buffy smiled and introduced herself to Faith. Buffy was excited that she had gotten her first job. After filling out the paper work, Faith told her she started the next week. 


	13. Chapter ThirteenKnowing Faith

Chapter Thirteen-Knowing Faith  
  
Author's Note: Thanks you lilmamaday and Sarah for the kind reviews. I am glad people are enjoying this story. I hope that you continue to like it. This is a shorter chapter but equally as important as the rest. Again, I hope you enjoy this chapter too! Enjoy! Lisa Anne  
  
"Buffy, could you ring?" Faith asked Buffy to check some customers out. Buffy was working her first week after her training. She nodded as she approached the counter.  
"Good evening. Did you find everything you were-hey, I know you." Buffy said perkily with a smile.  
"How's it going? Are you having fun yet?" Willow asked as she handed Buffy her CD.  
"It's going well. My manager is really cool and it's hasn't been that busy."  
"Excellent. What time do you get off tonight?"  
"At eight. Then I have to come in early tomorrow to help Faith with innovatory but I get to leave at two."  
"Maybe we could catch a movie tomorrow and go out for some much needed us time." Willow said as she handed Buffy her money.  
"That would be fun. I'm in. Two dollars and seven cents is your change. Thank you and have a good day!" Buffy smiled. Her friend took her change and walked out the door.  
"Does it ever get busy around here?" Buffy asked as Faith walked towards the counter.  
"Not really but that's the beauty of summer time. It gets busy on Tuesdays because that is when the new releases come out. It also gets busy around the holiday season, but other than that it doesn't get very busy." Faith paused for a moment as she picked up some papers. She read them and then spoke to Buffy again. "You are going to be here around seven tomorrow morning, right?"  
"Yes, for innovatory."  
"Good, Tim called and said he couldn't be in until after nine, which would give us only an hour before the store opens to finish it up. I think we can get the bulk of it done and over with. He'll just have to stay tomorrow night to help."  
Buffy nodded at her boss. Faith continued to explain what was to be expected from Buffy the next morning. Faith then walked away from the front counter and went back into her office to look at some things. Buffy looked at her watch. She only had a half-hour left before on her shift before she was able to go home.  
Buffy was waiting for Faith to come back out of her office to tell her that she could go home when a customer entered the store. Buffy began to smile when she realized that it wasn't a customer. It was Xander.  
"Hey you working girl, how are you?"  
"I'm good thanks. What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving tonight to visit some family."  
"I lied. I wanted to surprise you."  
She gave Xander a quick kiss over the counter. "I am surprised. I still have a few minutes left before I can leave."  
"That's all right, I'll wait outside on the bench. I'll see ya in a bit." He told her as he gave her another quick peck on the check. He began walking away at the same moment Faith emerged from her office.  
"All right Buffy, you can go but remember be here tomorrow at seven."  
"Okay Faith, have a good night."  
  
At six-forty in the morning Buffy walked into the mall and waited outside of the record store for Faith. She knew she was early but she wanted to make a good impression on Faith. She sat down and looked around. There were no other stores opened. She sat for almost fifteen minutes, being bored out of her mind. She was so tired from her evening with Xander. They only went out to dinner and then back to her house to talk for a while, a long while. Xander left her house after midnight. She was extremely tired.  
"Hey B, I'm glad you're here bright and early, let's get to work," Faith told her as she unlocked the store door  
Buffy followed Faith to the back room. They were sorting CDs that morning and seeing what they had to order. Faith began small talk with Faith. Faith asked whether or not she had a boyfriend and about her family.  
"Well, I live here in Sunnydale with my mother, stepfather and my younger sister. I have a boyfriend. We've been dating for a few months."  
"Step-dad, hu? How is that?"  
"At first I resented him. I treated him pretty badly but you know, I was young. I always had a dream of my parents getting back to together. Looking at it know, I guess Rupert is the only father I have. My own father wanted nothing to do with my sister or myself. Rupert adopted us right after he and my mother were married. I know he loves me and he will always be there for me." Buffy paused for a moment before she turned the tables on Faith. "How about you? You have family around here?"  
"I'm originally from eastern Pennsylvania, right outside of Philly. My parents are gone. Well, I don't remember my father because he ran off after I was born. My mother died when I was sixteen from cancer, she had a tumor in her head. My sister finished raising me. She was six years older than I was. She was engaged to this guy who left her once she got pregnant. She had my nephew a two years later. He was born prematurely, as a result Connor is mentally slow. She was jogging in the morning, as she always did, she was into fitness and all of the junk. She only bought organic food because it was better for you," Faith stared into space for a moment as she smiled and reflected on her sister. Her smile soon changed. "Anyway, she went jogging the morning that she was going to bring me to college and she never came back. Connor, my nephew, woke me up crying. He was getting up from a nap. I found out later that day that a car hit Heather. The driver was talking on the phone and not really watching where they were driving. I skipped out on college and I'm taking car of my nephew now."  
Buffy was silent. For most of her life she thought that she was unlucky when it came down to her family. After all, her mother struggled to raise both she and Dawn for a good portion of their lives before Rupert even came into the picture. Buffy didn't have aunts and uncles since both Joyce and Rupert were only children. Joyce's parents were both dead and she had only met Rupert's family a few times. They kept in touch but it wasn't the same as having family over for dinner on the holidays or visiting them on Sundays. Then she thought about Faith who had no one. At that moment Buffy felt that she was a very lucky person for having what family she did have.  
"What brought you to Sunnydale?"  
"It's really so stupid. I had recorded all of the information that was given to my by wither my sister or my mother about my father. His last known where about was about was in a small town about fifteen minutes from here. I packed up Connor after Heather died and I began looking for him. I wanted some guidance, some type of family."  
"Did you find him?"  
Faith shook her head. "No, he had moved several years before." Faith stopped for a moment and stared at a CD. She began to think about her life. Granted, it wasn't a story book life or a really happy life once she got older, but she began to smile. "It's all right though. I get to be there for Connor no matter what. He's almost three now. It has been great to see him growing up. He calls me mom, which is fine, but it makes me sad, you know what I mean? I love him and I can't imagine loving anything or anyone any more than I love him, but he isn't my son. I didn't go through sixteen hours of intense labor to bring him into this world. And it really makes me sad when I stop and think about how he will never get to know how great his mother actually was." Faith stopped again. She zoned into space for a moment before breaking her concentration. "Oh well. I guess that's just part of life."  
Buffy didn't know what to say to Faith. She could tell she was upset thinking about her family. "How long have you been in Sunnydale?"  
Faith sighed. "Heather died almost a year and a half ago, so a little more than a year."  
"Do you like it out here?"  
"Yeah, I do. Everyone is pretty nice, at least for the most part. I don't regret coming out here or not finding my father. I found somethings that are more important than that. I really found out what kind of person I am and I am very pleased with who I have grown up to be. I have found great services for Connor too. Most of all I have found Amy."  
Buffy paused for a moment. She was confused because she didn't think Faith had anyone. "Who is Amy?"  
"She's my girlfriend."  
Buffy thought for a moment. Between school and her parent's friends, Buffy had known several gay men but she didn't think she knew any lesbians. She continued with the story. "How long have you been together?"  
"I've known her as long as I have been in Sunnydale. She was the first person I meant here. We've been romantically together for seven months. She's really sweet, kind of bitchy sometimes, but really nice. Best of all she seems to love Connor too. I don't know what I'd do without her sometimes. She helps out a lot with him."  
Buffy smiled. Faith had to disappear into the back room to find a box of CDs. Buffy continued to work. She thought about Faith again. She had known Buffy less than two weeks and she shared a huge chunk of her life with her. It made Buffy feel good to know that someone had confided in her. That conversation would be just one conversation she and be first of many that involve Buffy and Faith confiding in each other. 


	14. A Time For Lasts

Chapter Fourteen-A Time for Lasts  
Author's Note: Enjoy! Lisa Anne!  
  
"Can you believe that this is out last first day of school? At least our last first day of high school? We're seniors and we won't be here next year." Willow said as her friends gathered in the library before school. The first day had quickly came. Summer was over and now the four friends were entering the final stages of high school.  
"I can't wait to get out of here," Oz said. "I mean, college will be so much better! Think about it, less classes and more time for other things."  
Xander nodded his head. "Oz, man, once again you have summed everything up with your insightful wisdom."  
"Come on, aren't you going to miss this? Buffy, are you?"  
Buffy looked around and thought. She saw Cordelia walking down the hallway with her friends. Cordelia didn't even look at her, which made her happy. "Nah, I don't think I'll miss this place. I'm ready to move on."  
"See, that's my girl," Xander said as he grabbed Buffy's hand. Just at that moment the bell rang. "Wills, I will tell you that that sound was one bell closer to graduation, and believe me, I am thankful for that."  
Willow just shook her head as she took Oz's hand and began to walk to class with her friends. "You guys are the most unemotional people I know! I mean, it's over. Everything we knew and-and were comfortable with will be over. High school is over-"  
"In another eight months!" Buffy interrupted. "Will, I think you need to come down and relax a little bit."  
"And don't forget to have fun," Xander added.  
"Yes, fun," Oz said as he looked into Willow's eyes. "Fun is good."  
Willow moved closer to Oz. "Fun is really good. We'll see you two at lunch, right?"  
"We'll be there." Buffy said.  
"And Will, just think, it's one lunch closer to graduation," Xander joked.  
Willow just gave him a mean face look.  
"I'm sorry, I just date him. I can't actually control what comes out of his mouth. We'll see you guys at lunch," Buffy explained as she and Xander continued to their class.  
  
"And this is Fisher Hall. This is one of the many freshmen dorms that UC Sunnydale has to offer. Trust me, the dorms get better as you get closer and closer to graduation. There is another dorm being constructed as we speak and should be ready by springtime, which means next year's freshmen would be the first to live there. From what I hear the dorms are beautiful." The male blonde tour guide explained as he showed his group the last spot on his tour. The group followed him back to the auditorium for a reception.  
Buffy, Xander, Willow and Oz were all looking at the University of California at Sunnydale. The college rested on the town line and most of it in fact wasn't in Sunnydale.  
"What do you think of the lovely campus here?" The blonde tour guide asked the four friends as he mad his way over to them.  
"It's nice. A little too much education happening here though,' Xander commented. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go to college. He was still considering his options.  
Everyone chuckled. "I like it a lot. I mean it isn't that big for a state school, it's far enough away from home that I can be on my own but I could still go home for a cooked meal." Buffy began to explain.  
"And trust me, you'll need those trips back home. The food isn't great." The tour guide chimed in.  
"What year are you in? How do you like it here?" Willow asked.  
"I'm a sophomore here and I really like it. The professors are great and most of the kids are great."  
"How's the social life around here?" Buffy asked.  
A smile came on the tour guides face. "There are a lot of extra curriculum actives here. There are sports and different organizations. As for, um, 'non-educational activities', there are plenty of bars around here that sell to underage kids. There are also many great places to party on campus. I believe someone as beautiful as yourself would find no problems finding something to do on a Friday night."  
Buffy blushed. Xander got a little annoyed. Is he really hitting on my girlfriend right in front of me, he thought to himself. Xander looked at the blonde college man and held onto Buffy's hand without saying a word.  
The college student walked the four friends outside when they were ready to leave. "Thank you again for showing us around," Willow told him as she shook his hand.  
"No problem. I hope to see all of you on campus next year." He said as he looked into Buffy's green eyes. Xander just walked into the car without saying a word. The blonde male stopped Buffy, as she was about to get into Oz's car. "And if you would like to sample college life I could give you my number, you could come anytime you wanted."  
She politely smiled and declined his offer. "I don't think my boyfriend would like that too much. Thanks anyway though."  
As Oz pulled out of the parking space and started home, the blonde boy just watched the most beautiful thing he had ever seen ride away out of his life. He hopped that she would be back, minus her boyfriend.  
  
"Don't forget to ask if they want gift receipts," Faith told Buffy before they opened the store a few days before Christmas. "Thanks for coming in. Angela's mother got sick and she has to drive her family around."  
"It's no problem, I told you if you needed me to work I would do my best to do work for you," Buffy told her boss. The truth was that Buffy only worked two days a week while she was in school, and most of those times she wasn't working with Faith. She had told Faith many times that if she needed her to work for her to just call and she would try to work. This was the first time that Faith actually took Buffy up on the offer.  
"Great, I do appreciate it. Stay at the register at all times. Be prepared, today will be busy, there are only a few days left in the holiday season. This will probably be the busiest day that you have ever worked here." Faith told her as she grabbed her keys from the counter to unlock the door.  
"Hey Faith."  
"Yeah B."  
"What are you and Connor doing for Christmas?"  
"We're having dinner over Amy's mom's house. Why?"  
"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to join my family for dinner. If you can't do dinner, what about dessert?"  
Faith looked at Buffy with a smile. She was flattered. "That would be really nice, B, thanks." She told her as she opened the door.  
Faith was so right about the store being busy. It wasn't very busy, it was just constant. People kept going over to the register at a good pace. There was even a line at one point.  
By early evening things had calmed down a lot. Most people walked in and out of the store not buying anything. Buffy was fixing up the front counter and trying to make it look neat when she heard a voice behind her. "Miss, is your register open?"  
"Yes, I' was just-" She stopped midway through her sentence. She was surprised to see who she saw when she turned around. "Hi." She said almost awkward. "How have you been?" She asked as she returned to behind the counter.  
The man nodded. "I'm good. How are you?"  
"I'm good too. How's school been?"  
Angel nodded. "It's school, you know how that goes. Are you excited about graduation?"  
"Yes, I am. I can't wait to be out of high school."  
"Do you have big plans for the holidays?"  
"Nah, you know, just the big family thing, you know, food, friends and the time to be merry. What about you?"  
"Same here. We're going over to my Aunt Jamie's house. Xander is staying back. He said he is spending time with his girlfriend's family. I didn't know he was dating anyone. Do you know who he is dating? Would I know her?"  
Buffy was speechless as she handed Angel his shopping bag with his purchase enclosed. She and Xander had been dating for over seven months and Angel didn't know about it? She was shocked. Buffy understood that he wouldn't rub it into Angel's face that they were dating but not to tell him? She was furious. "Actually, yeah, I know here and you'd know here too. It's me."  
Angel smiled for a moment. He thought she was joking. "Really?"  
She nodded. "Yep. We started dating a few days after the prom. He didn't tell you any of this?"  
Angel's tone changed. He was now the one a little shocked. "No, this is the first I've heard of this." He said as he placed his bag on the counter. Angel looked hurt as he looked into Buffy's eyes. "My brother? You're dating my little brother? Why?"  
Buffy sighed. "It's just how I-we feel. He felt it first, we tried putting it off but we couldn't. He's a great person."  
Angel kept his stare into Buffy's eyes. "You're right, he is, but he's my baby brother, remember?" Buffy nodded. She couldn't say anything. Angel grabbed his bag off of the counter. "Happy holidays." He told her as he walked away with a pained look on his face.  
  
"What time is dinner?" Xander asked over the phone. It was Christmas day. He had opened his gifts with his mother and Angel. As Angel said, he declined to go to his family to his aunt's house. Instead he wanted to spend the holidays with Buffy.  
"It's at five but come by before then, my parents have a gift for you and I would like to speak to you about something."  
Xander agreed and then hung up the phone. He was worried. Buffy talked sternly and quickly with him. He had no idea what was coming.  
  
"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Giles, merry Christmas," Xander greeted as Dawn lead him into the living room.  
"Merry Christmas Xander. Buffy is upstairs, she'll be down soon." Joyce said as she knelt down and picked up a Christmas bag from under the tree. "Mr. Giles and I bought you a gift." She said handing him the bag.  
Xander accepted the bag as he handed one to Joyce. He opened his bag to find a fifty-dollar gift certificate to his favorite store. She opened the one for her and Rupert to find a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant. "Thank you Xander." Joyce said as she hugged him.  
"Your welcome. Dawnster, this one is for you," he told the youngest Giles' child. She opened her gift to find a dairy. "Buffy helped me pick it out."  
"Cool. Thank you Xander." Dawn said as she opened her journal and looked at all of the pages.  
Buffy started down the stairs. She watched Xander and her family for a few minutes before coming down the stairs.  
"There she is," Joyce said as Buffy made her way into the family room. Buffy smiled as she walked over to Xander.  
"Merry Christmas. Here is your gift." She said handing him a wrapped box. He gave her a much smaller bag. "You open yours first." Xander said.  
She carefully unwrapped the beautiful paper and opened the box. Inside laid lovely gold bracelet. "Xander, it's gorgeous, thank you," she said as she kissed his cheek.  
Next, Xander opened his gift from Buffy. She had bought him a DVD he wanted as well as a novelty tee shirt. She also gave him a framed picture of them taken that summer on the beach. "Thank you Buff," He said as he hugged her.  
"Mom, when is dinner going to be ready?"  
"In about a hour."  
"Xander and I are going for a walk, we'll be back before dinner," Buffy told her mother as she placed her and Xander's gifts under the tree. She grabbed Xander's hand before heading out the door.  
"Buff, what's going on?" He asked as she closed the front door and let go of his hand.  
"Why didn't you say anything to Angel about us?" She questioned.  
"What? What are you talking about?"  
"Angel came into work a few days ago and had no idea that we were dating."  
"Maybe he was just playing stupid."  
"Xander, he asked me if I knew your girlfriend. I'm really angry with you. Why would you do this?"  
Xander was silent. He had kept his relationship with Buffy secret from Angel on purpose. Buffy was about to find out why.  
"You really want to know why? After he and Kate broke up he would call, we would talk on the phone or email. He would randomly ask about you. He told me he still cared about you and thought he still loved you."  
Buffy was surprised. Her eyes widened as Xander continued.  
"He actually told me that he regretted staying in New York last summer. He said if he had come back home then perhaps you and him would have had a chance to get back together." Xander paused and looked deep into Buffy's sparkling emerald eyes. Tears began to go to his eyes. "I didn't want to loose you. I didn't want to tell you what he was thinking because I was afraid that you would want to get back together with him and I couldn't handle loosing you. I didn't say anything to him because, well, he's my brother and I didn't want to make him feel bad. I felt like if I told you I would have to compete with you against him and that wouldn't have been fair to anyone."  
Buffy stopped walking. She unfolded her hands and began to wipe the tears from Xander's face. She then held his head in her hands. "Shhh, it's all right. I understand. I understand. I still wish you had told me. It was kind of weird running into him. And he looked so hurt." She paused for a minute as she touched Xander's chin. She lifted his face so he was able to look at her. "I wish you would have also realized that I love you Xander and I just don't feel like that about Angel any more. That was a long time ago. That's over and will never be revisited again. I'm with you because I love you."  
Xander reached out and touched Buffy's chin before he kissed her. He was overjoyed to hear what she had said. He had known that she cared about him but to hear the words made him feel even better.  
The two held hands as they walked back to the Giles' house for Christmas dinner.  
Faith, Connor and Amy showed up soon after dinner for dessert. Joyce was thrilled to have them because she loved entertaining people, especially around the holidays. Rupert was excited to finally meet his daughter's boss whom she talked about. Dawn enjoyed playing with Conner. She was just thrilled that she wasn't the youngest child there. Once Buffy told Joyce that Faith and her family would be stopping by, Joyce went out and bought gifts for all of them. She bought gift certificates to go out to a restaurant for Faith and Amy and she had bought a gift certificate to a toy store for Connor. Faith and Amy were surprised. They were happy that Buffy had invited them over for dessert but they were shocked with Joyce's generosity. It was a wonderful holiday for all involved.  
  
"This is the last time we'll stand on the high school football field," Willow said after graduation.  
"Mom, hurry up and take the picture before Will has a nervous break down because she realizes high school is completely over," Buffy said, poking fun at her friend's nostalgia.  
"Very funny Buffy, thanks for the support!" Willow joked back.  
Joyce took several pictures of the four friends after the ceremony. Both Buffy and Xander had flashbacks to Angel's graduation two years before. This day seemed so far away to the both of them. It seemed like it would never arrive. Now, the friends were leaving high school. They were about to embark on college. Everyone except Xander. Xander didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. Since he hated school he didn't want to waste any more of his time in school. He had convinced his mother to let him travel through Europe for a few months. Willow had chosen to attend Emerson College in Boston. She had gone and visited the school in the beginning of the year and had fallen in love with Boston. It was such a little city but it offered big opportunities. The journalism program was one of the best in the country. Both Buffy and Oz had chose to attend the UC Sunnydale. Buffy was afraid she would get homesick and didn't want to be hours away. She was a half- hour, maybe forty minutes at the most away from the comfort of Revello Drive if she felt she needed to be at home. Oz had decided to improve his grade a little. Then he hoped to join Willow in the east and attend Boston University.  
The parents and family members of her daughter's friends joined Joyce. They all took more time to take more pictures. Finally, when the picture taken frenzy had ended, The friends began to walk away.  
"Willow, take it all in. This is it. This is our last time leaving the football field." Buffy said as she put her arm around her friend's shoulders. Buffy was starting to feel a little sadness.  
Willow was teary-eyed. "Things are going to be different now, aren't they?"  
Buffy nodded. Things would be different. Every one in that core group of friends was leaving the comfort of their home and about to begin their own adventures. The high school chapter of their lives was ending. For better or for worse the first chapter of their adult lives was about to begin.  
Willow and Oz left for their own parties hosted by their parents. Buffy and Xander's families were taking them out to eat together to celebrate the occasion.  
"Dinner was great," Buffy commented to Xander. They walked around downtown after dinner.  
"Yes, it was nice. I'm glad I got to spend today with you."  
"Me too." Buffy paused as she and Xander sat down on a bench. "When does your flight leave?"  
"Tomorrow at seven am."  
"Wow, so you're really going through with this, hu?"  
Xander nodded not looking at Buffy. "Yeah. I have to. I have to do something."  
Buffy changed the subject to address Xander's different personality. "Is there something bothering you?"  
"No, no, why would you say that?"  
"Because you haven't acted like yourself the entire day."  
Xander stared at the ground for a few seconds. There was no easy way of telling Buffy this. Xander didn't want to hurt Buffy. He didn't want to hurt his girlfriend but most of all he didn't want to hurt his best friend. He felt that things had to be said.  
"Buffy, we should talk." He paused as he stared into the lights of the movie theatre for a moment. "You know I don't know when I am coming back from-from where ever I am going."  
Buffy knew where this conversation was going. "Xander, I heard this with Angel. You're going to be far away and you want to break up." She told him cutting to the chase.  
Xander's eyes widened. Buffy knew him too well. He shook his head. "Yes. I've been thinking about it and honestly, I don't know when I am coming back and I know your starting a brand new aspect of your life too. It's not fair to either one of us."  
Buffy looked into Xander's brown eyes. She could tell he thought about this for a while and that the final decision wasn't a easy one to make. "I know. I understand."  
"You're not mad?"  
Buffy smiled. "A little disappointed maybe, but not mad. I won't be mad as long as you promise to keep in touch with me during your trip and you still come back my best friend."  
Xander nodded before he threw his arms around Buffy. "Always. You will always be my best friend."  
  
"Honey, I'm sorry," Joyce told her daughter the night of her graduation. Buffy was in bed. After her walk with Xander she came home and cried. Even though she agreed with the decision he made, she was still sad. A safe part of her life was no more.  
"Sorry about what?" Dawn asked as she came into Buffy's room.  
"Xander and I broke up." Buffy said. "But it's all right. We're still going to be friends, best friends." She explained.  
"Sweetheart, get a good nights sleep and you'll feel better in the morning." Joyce told her daughter as she stood up. Joyce kissed her daughter's forehead. "I love you very much Buffy and both your father and I are very proud of you."  
"Thanks mom, good night."  
"Dawn, honey, don't stay up too late. You still have school in the morning." Joyce told her youngest child.  
"I won't Mom. I want to talk to Buffy for a little while before bed. Good night." Dawn said as she smiled. She watched her mother close the door. She listened to her mother's footsteps as she walked down the hall. When she could no longer hear them she looked at her sister straight in the yes. "You made him go away."  
"Dawnie, it was a tough decision to make, but we made it together. He's still my best friend, which is more important to me than some silly boyfriend."  
"You always make them go away." Dawn said with an attitude.  
"What are you talking about?" Buffy inquired.  
"What do I mean? First there was Angel and he broke up with you. I liked him, a lot. He was nice. Then you and Xander get together, and I was mad at first because, well, I had a little crush on him." Buffy smiled. She had known that her sister had a crush on Xander. "Buffy, it's not funny." Dawn said seriously.  
"Your right Dawn, I'm sorry, please go on," she told her sister as she wiped the smile off her face.  
"He has been around here since we first moved here and now he's gone. You made him go away," Dawn told her sister with tears in her eyes. "You probably made Dad go away too."  
"Dawn, what are you talking about? Dad is downstairs grading papers." Dawn shrugged her shoulders as she crossed her arms. "No, not that dad, Hank. You were probably so obnoxious that you made him go away too." Before Buffy could chime in and say anything to her sister, Dawn continued. "And stay away from Dad! I don't want him to leave, especially because of YOU!" She shouted as she left Buffy's room and slammed the door. Buffy heard her stomping her feet and then her slamming her door.  
Buffy was a little confused. Dawn was acting so strangely. Buffy was kind of hurt that she treated her that way. Most of all, she was confused. Buffy was awake most of the night tossing and turning. Thoughts of Xander ran through her head like a movie. She wondered if they had made the right decision. She then thought about the conversation she and her mother had before Dawn entered her room. Honey, you're only eighteen years old. If Xander wasn't the one, then he wasn't the one. Only time will tell if you were meant together. I am sure that no matter what you and Xander will be part of each other's lives for a long, long time. Sweetheart, don't try to plan your whole life out right now. You'll drive yourself crazy." She knew once again that her mother was right.  
Then Buffy thought of Dawn's outburst in her room. She didn't understand where she was coming from or what it meant. She didn't even know how to try and fix it. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen  
  
Author's Note: Thanks again for all of the reviews! I'm glad people are still interested in the story. I am working on chapter sixteen as we speak. Happy reading!  
Lisa Anne  
  
It was another extremely slow day at Sam Goody. Buffy was organizing the DVDs for the third time that day. She had only three hours left of her six- hour shift, she was half way there. She thought about after work. She was pretty busy. She was going over to Faith and Amy's for dinner, then she was watching Connor while Faith and Amy caught an early movie. After leaving Faith's she was going to meet Willow for some ice cream. Their trip for ice cream would last about twenty minutes. Then they would drive around the town just talking. Willow was tremendously nervous about leaving her safety net she called home and adventuring out into parts of the country she hadn't known. Buffy knew she would be listening to Willow's concerns that evening. "Hey, Buffy, how are you?" Angel asked her as he stood across form her. "I'm good. How's your summer going?" "It isn't bad. I can't wait to go back to New York though, so much more to do than just being around here. When do you leave for school?"  
"In a week and a half. I can't wait." Angel smiled at her. "That's great. I was wondering if that new Dave Matthews CD came out yet?" Angel asked her. "I was going to get it as a gift for someone." Buffy nodded as they walked over to the new release end cap. She quickly thought about how she and Angel had seen Dave Matthews in concert many times together. She also thought that she had been to see Dave Matthews many times since. "Here it is. It's a great CD." Angel nodded as he took the CD from Buffy's hands. "Is it? That's great, I'm sure Kate will like this." "Kate? As in your ex-girlfriend?" He nodded again. "Yeah, we got back together in the middle of last semester. She's still on the East Coast; she lives out there. I thought I'd make her a little care package of just little things to sent her." Buffy smiled. That's how Angel was while they were dating. He was always thinking of her. It was in his heart to do so. "That's really nice." The small talk ended and Angel walked out of the store. Buffy was glad to talk to Angel. It killed almost a half- hour. She was about to skip over and talk to Jessica, one of her co-workers, when someone stopped her. "Excuse me miss, I was wondering if you could help me." Buffy walked over to the young blonde British man. She guessed that he wasn't more than twenty-two years old. She smiled. "Are you looking for something particular?" The blonde man returned her smile. "Yes, I am new to the town and well, I need some help." "How could I help you?" Buffy asked confused. "I don't know where anything is in this town and I sort of need a tour guide and was wondering if you could be the tour guide." Buffy thought to herself about how lame this man was. There had been many men who had come into her store and hit on here but this was probably the lamest attempt by them all. "Sorry, I don't go out with strangers." "Come on. Get to know me then I won't be a stranger." The blonde man said as he smiled and walked closer to her. Buffy forced a smile on her face. "I'm sorry, I have to get back to work." The blonde man grabbed Buffy's hand and stood closer to her. "Come on sweet, I'm sure you could show me a good time." Buffy grew serious and backed away from the man. "No, I can't. Now if you excuse me, I have to get back to work." She told him as she tried to walk away. "Come on then, just one date?" He as he remained less than an arm's length away from Buffy. "You just don't seem to get the hint, do you? I don't know you and more importantly, I don't want to get to know you. Now if you are not interested in buying something get out of the store." He laughed. "I like you, you have charisma, and you're charming and beautiful." "Thank you. Now is there anything I can help you with before you leave the store?" "I told you how you could help me. You could show me around this little town. I am looking for something particular." "I'm sorry. I can help you if you need something in the store but I can not and will not help you outside of this store." She said getting angry. "You like playing this hard to get thing, don't you?" He asked again with a smile. Buffy exhaled while she tried to stay calm. "Listen to me for the last time. I am not playing hard to get. I don't know you and I don't want to know you. What I would like you to do is to pay for something if you are going to buy it. Otherwise get out of the store before I call security. Is that understood?" The man chuckled in disgust. "You know, I am new here. I'm right off the plane. All I needed was a little help finding where I need to go and you have to go and act all bewitching and such." "I am sorry you can't find anything you are looking for. Maybe if you came in and asked for directions like a normal human being then you would be at your destination by now. Acting like a jerk and trying pathetically to hit on people is no way to ask for help. Now, please leave the store. Do not come back unless you intend on buying something." Buffy sternly told the man as he left the store. "What was that all about? B, you all right?" Faith asked. She had emerged from her office moments before. "Nothing, just some jerk trying to hit on me. He was obnoxious. I don't think I'll ever see him again." "All right, as long as nothing was wrong. Jessica came to get me from the back. She thought he was a robber or something." Faith said glad to see Buffy had complete control over the entire situation. "I'm fine, he's gone." "Good. Hey, your shift is over. Will you be ready to head out in a few?" Faith asked shifting the subject. Buffy nodded. She couldn't wait to play with Connor. He was so much to be around.  
  
"All right, and have him in bed before eight, all right?" Faith said as she and Amy were leaving. Faith walked over to Connor and kissed him on his head. "Connor, be good for Buffy, all right?"  
"Yep mommy, I promise." He smiled as he stood up and hugged Amy bye too.  
The women said good bye again to the child and to Buffy and then left for the movie.  
"What do you want to do?" Buffy asked him.  
"Watch Rugrats." He said with a smile.  
Buffy turned the video on. While Connor was watching the video, Buffy heard the dishwasher stop. She went into the kitchen and began to put the dishes away. Dinner at Faith's was becoming a weekly ritual. During the summer Faith had invited Buffy over to join her family for dinner. Buffy loved being over there. She loved being around Connor. He was so smart for a boy who had so many health problems as an infant. He was a little small for his age but he didn't let that bother him. He loved his preschool and would talk about it all the time with Buffy. He loved his teacher and liked all of his classmates. Buffy would often have a picture waiting for her at Faith's. Connor loved drawing and loved giving his pictures to Buffy.  
Joyce had opened her heart to Faith, Amy and Connor. She had the three over for dinner often. At Christmas time the previous year, Buffy had explained Faith's tragic family circumstances. Joyce's heart broke. It wasn't fair that such a young woman had to go through so many heartbreaking obstacles. Eight months later Joyce considered them family. Both Joyce and Rupert told Faith if there was anything she needed to let them know, they would help her out.  
By the time Buffy had put dinner away, Connor was fast asleep on the couch. She smiled. When she watched him he always begged her to let him stay up late. He never made it to his bedtime because he was always fast asleep before! She picked him up and carried him up the stairs and tucked him into bed.  
  
"Nothing Will. I have heard absolutely nothing from him."  
"I'm kind of worried about him. That's not like Xander at all." Willow said playing with what was left of her sundae. She and Buffy were talking about the lack of communication between them and Xander. He had been gone for almost three months and they had heard nothing from him. Buffy wasn't worried. She knew that he wasn't really good with the letter writing thing. Willow was convinced that something bad had happened to him.  
"It's so like Xander! He is such a boy! And not writing is a boy thing to do. He probably has been so busy or he met a girl. He's fine. I should have asked Angel today."  
Willow gave her friend an odd look. "I didn't think that you and Angel were so much with the talking."  
Buffy rolled her eyes as she ate the cookie dough chunks out of her ice cream. "He came into work today to buy a CD for his girlfriend. We talked for a while but it was weird. Even after we broke up things were weird but they didn't feel as weird as they have been lately. It's been ever since-"  
"You and Xander started dating? Well, since you knew you and Xander were dating? Buffy how did you think that was going to make him feel? From What Xander said he wanted to get back together with you and not only were you dating someone else, but you were dating his brother, hence the weirdness." Willow explained.  
Buffy ate the last chunk of cookie dough. "I know but that was a while ago. Plus Xander and I aren't together any more. And you know what he was buying? A Dave Matthews' CD. He asked me for help to 'find it' when we have a huge display of the release."  
"Well, maybe he didn't see it."  
"Will, it's the first thing you see entering the store! At least it was more fun talking to him than the other stupid guy who came in."  
"What stupid guy?'  
Again, Buffy rolled her eyes. "This British guy comes in, he's probably a little older than us, and he was cute, but anyway, he comes in and silly me, I thought he was going to buy a CD or something. He was hitting on me and trying to pick me up! He couldn't take the hint. Then he said I was bewitching! He was so obnoxious!"  
Willow smiled. "It could have been worse, he could have called you a bitch."  
Buffy stopped and then began to laugh with Willow. They started out to her car. They sat down and fastened their seat belt.  
"So you're leaving next week, uh?" Buffy asked Willow as she purposely drove beyond Buffy's street.  
"Tuesday my plane leaves at noon. I'm so scared."  
"Why?"  
"Because I will know no one! I'm going to a city that I don't know with people I don't know. I know nothing about Boston, well, except the history, the tea party and such but I know nothing else about it. Are Bostonians even nice? Are they rude like New Yorkers?"  
"New Yorkers aren't mean, at least Angel told me so. Will, you'll be fine."  
"And my boyfriend will be on the other side of the country! He will be in a time zone three hours behind me. How am I going to live without Oz?" Willow whined as she spoke with Buffy.  
Buffy felt bad for her friend. She knew Willow was nervous but she also knew that she was going to be great and do well in Boston.  
"At least Oz is flying out with me. He's going to stay with me for a few days."  
"Oh," was all Buffy managed to say. She was surprised because she and Oz were planning on moving into school at the same time and had picked the same orientation activities to do together. He hadn't talked to her about not going to orientation.  
After driving around for almost an hour Willow pulled onto Buffy's street. "We'll do something together before you leave Will, I promise. Maybe dinner on Saturday?"  
"We'll see, I don't know what my parents have planned for me. Buffy, who's car is that?"  
Buffy looked at the blue car parked in the driveway. She didn't recognize it at all. "It's probably one of my parent's friends' car. All right Will, I'll talk to you later."  
"Bye Buffy," Willow said as she leaned over and hugged her friend. "And remember if-"  
"Yes, if Xander calls I will tell you. He's fine, so worrying about him!" Buffy said as she got out of the car. She waved good-bye to Willow as she drove away. She walked onto the porch and could hear laughter coming from inside. She opened the door and walked into her house. She could see everyone gathered in the dinning room. She saw Rupert and Joyce sitting next to each other on one side of the table. Dawn was sitting on the opposite side. Laughter filled the house.  
"Sweetheart, your home. How was work?" Joyce asked.  
Buffy hung up her purse and walked towards the table. She felt like she was in the twilight zone. Her family was happy and laughed a lot but that particular night seemed strange. "Work was good. Dinner was good. Whose car is that in the driveway?"  
"We had a surprise visitor," Rupert began to explain. "William is the son of a really good friend of mine. I've seen him grow up and," Rupert smiled as he reflected on William growing up. "And now he's here. He's thinking about moving to California."  
Buffy smiled. She knew anyone Rupert knew would have to be kind and a nice person. "That's great, where is he?"  
"He's taking a shower. He had a long flight. Buffy, would it be all right if Dawn stayed in your room while William is here?" Joyce asked.  
Buffy couldn't say no, even though she wanted to. Dawn wasn't talking to Buffy much these days. "Sure, that's no problem. How long is he staying?"  
"It's up in the air right now, possibly a month. Here he comes now. William, there is someone in here whom I want you to meet." Rupert said as he saw the houseguest coming down the stairs.  
Buffy turned to look at the man coming down the stairs. She was a little taken back at first. William looked just like the man who was harassing at work earlier that day.  
The blonde man who was now at the bottom of the stairs was equally as shocked when he saw Buffy. He looked a little embarrassed.  
"Uh, hi," William said a little shy.  
Rupert stood up and walked between William and Buffy. "This is my daughter Buffy." He smiled proudly. "She is getting ready to go to college."  
Buffy smiled. "It's nice to meet you William," she said shaking his hand.  
"Right," William paused for a briefly second as he returned Buffy's smile. "It's a pleasure."  
"Buffy, would you mind showing William around tomorrow?" Rupert asked. "Your mother and I would do it but we won't go anywhere that would interest him. We'd figure you'd know of places of interest."  
Again, Buffy didn't really want to. She couldn't believe how small the world was and that the obnoxious jerk she saw earlier in the day was standing in the flesh in front of her, in her own home. "I'd love to."  
William nodded. "Thank you," was all he managed to say, only he wasn't thanking her for acting as a tour guide. He was thanking her for not saying anything to Rupert about their run in earlier that evening.  
"If you excuse me, it's be a long day, I think I am going to head to bed," Buffy told her family. "William we'll talk tomorrow about where you'd like to go. Good night."  
Buffy climbed the stairs and went to her room. She undressed and put on her pajamas. She walked into the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth. She opened the bathroom door and saw William outside of her bedroom.  
"Hi," he said.  
She exhaled and offered a quick smile. "Hi."  
"I-I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry about earlier, you know, at the store."  
"Yeah, I remember. It's all ri-"  
"No it wasn't all right. I had no idea that we were Rupert's daughter. If I had known I would have never-"  
"Listen, it's forgotten about. It never happened, all right?"  
William nodded. "I wanted to thank you. You could have said something to Rupert but you didn't. Thank you."  
Buffy could tell that he really meant his apology. "It's all right. Good night William."  
William nodded as he turned and walked down the stairs. Buffy walked into her room. Dawn was lying on the bed. She was lying on the side of the bed, closest to the wall. She closed the door and walked into her room. Buffy was very quiet because she thought Dawn was asleep. Buffy walked into her room and sat on the chair at the vanity. She reached over her jewelry box and picked up her lotion. She was applying her lotion on her arms when she heard Dawn talk to her.  
"Make sure your nice to William. He is really nice and I wouldn't want him to go away like Xander and Angel have."  
Buffy was speechless. She didn't know what Dawn meant by these words. "Dawn, what is that supposed to mean?"  
Dawn sat up and looked angrily into Buffy's eyes. "Buffy, you always screw things up with boys. I mean, first dad left us."  
"Dawn that wasn't my fault."  
Dawn ignored Buffy and continued. "Then you and Angle dated for a really long time and he left."  
"Dawnie, he went to school. It really was for the best."  
Ignoring her for a second time, Dawn continued. "And Xander. I loved him. He always treated me like I was a friend, not like I'm a little kid, and now he's gone too."  
Buffy smiled. "Dawn, we broke up because we make better friends than we did boyfriend and girlfriend. We're still friends."  
"If you're still friends then why hasn't he called or sent a postcard? Or email?'  
Buffy couldn't answer her question. She knew that she and Xander were friends but she couldn't explain why things were the way they were with Xander. Buffy sat close to Dawn and wrapped her arm around her younger sister. "Dawn, I don't know why things happen the way it they do. I'm sorry that these things have made you upset, but it's not only me making these decisions. Angel was the one who broke up with me, and I didn't get a say in that. But if Angel and I hadn't have dated, then I wouldn't have dated Xander. Unlike Angel and I, Xander and I are friends and we value our friendship more than our romantic relationship. And I know for a fact that Xander cares about you. He brought the stuffed bear that you gave him for graduation with him when he left for his trip."  
Dawn looked at Buffy as she rested her head on her shoulder. "He did?"  
Buffy smiled as she shut off the light and laid down. "Yep. He has a soft spot for you in his heart."  
"He does?"  
Buffy laughed. "Yes, he does. He has always looked at you as a sister."  
Dawn hugged Buffy and apologized for being so mean to her. Buffy told it was all right. Then they talked about William. Dawn said she had a little crush on him. Buffy smiled as her sister went on and on about their visitor. 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen  
Author's note: This piece is up later than I thought it would be, I apologize. I'm back at school for my last semester (yah!) and I feel things could get crazy so please stick with the story if I don't update as often as I have been the past few weeks.  
With that being said, I want to thank Brianna, BlondePunkyOne and Kristine for the kind words you left about this piece. I also want to thank Luv for the email. Thank you for your thoughtfulness (and I still can't wait to read, "This I Promise You!" When is it coming out?). I am so thrilled that people are still sticking with this story. I'm trying to make it interesting and unpredictable, which means I can't say who Buffy ends up marrying (sorry!). Thoughts, suggestions and any feed back is always welcomed! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! LA  
  
"Where are you taking William today?" Joyce asked her daughter as she turned the coffee maker on. She had been awake for a little while and was going to start preparing breakfast for the household.  
Buffy had literally just got out of bed before she entered the kitchen. She loathed sharing a bed with Dawn because she moved around a lot while she was asleep and she hogged the covers, which kept Buffy awake. She chose to get out of bed and get some orange juice. It was relatively early so she didn't expect to see anyone awake. "I don't know," she snapped as she put the juice container back into the refrigerator. "I guess where ever he wants to go." She continued as she walked out of the kitchen and into the family room and laid down on the couch.  
Joyce smiled softly as her daughter left the room. She knew Buffy was not a morning person and didn't know why she attempted conversation with her so early. Between being awake and sharing her room with Dawn, she knew Buffy wouldn't be a happy camper.  
Twenty-minute later Buffy returned to the kitchen. She acted as if she was a completely different person. She was in a much better mood and smiled at her mother. "Mmmmmmmm...smells waffly."  
"I'm making Belgium waffles. I have to let the batter rise for a little while."  
"They smell good all ready." Buffy complimented her mother. She then changed the topic. "I think I may ask William if he would like to go to the coast today. I figured the beach is really pretty. Maybe we could go swimming. It's supposed to be a beautiful day today; I don't really want to spend it in doors. I think I am going to wait to talk to him before I set anything in stone. Maybe he would like to do something else instead."  
"I think that is a great idea honey, the weather is supposed to be beautiful," Joyce paused for a brief moment. She thought she was about to make Buffy mad. "Buffy would you mind taking Dawn with you? I think that she'd-"  
Buffy cut off her mother and chimed in. "Sure, I don't mind taking Dawnie. After all, she really seems to like William a lot and remembers him from her visits to England. I think it would be a great idea of she came with us." Normally Buffy didn't like to take her sister anywhere with her but she didn't want to be alone with William. Even though he had apologized for the run-in at Sam Goody, she still didn't like the idea of being alone with a stranger.  
Joyce was both surprised and speechless. Buffy was never so excited to watch Dawn. She had expected an argument from Buffy. She didn't expect so much cooperation. Joyce smiled as she thought that Buffy was finally appreciating Dawn.  
  
"The beach was really lovely," William said as Buffy drove home. The three spent the entire day on the warm sands, soaking up the suns rays and galloping around in the water.  
"It was a great beach day," Buffy began to explain. "The sun was bright and it was warm, you don't need much more for a good beach day."  
"I know. William, aren't you glad that I talked you into putting on sunscreen?" Dawn asked. William was going to spend the day on the beach without any protection from the sun. Dawn had lectured him about skin cancer and how wearing sunscreen cuts a person's risks. Of course William knew all about it, he just wanted to humor the young girl and be polite. "You're so pale; you would have burnt to a crisp, fried up in the sun."  
"Your right Dawn," William began to say as he turned around in his seat to face Dawn. "Thanks for the advice. You know, you are a smart lil bit. I bet you give big sis advice." William smiled.  
"You really think I'm smart?" Dawn asked him.  
"Oh yea, you are brilliant." William nodded. "You are very bright, I just know it."  
With that being said, Buffy drove into the driveway and parked next to Rupert's car. Once the car was stopped, Dawn and William got out of the car. William grabbed the cooler from back seat of the car and walked into the house with Dawn to his side. Buffy followed closely, but still behind the pair.  
Rupert was setting the dinning room table. He explained that Joyce was preparing a big meal that would be ready in a matter of a half hour. After talking to the three, he and Joyce were both pleased that they had a great time at the beach.  
"Dawn, Janet called and asked if you wanted to go swimming at her house and then spend the night. Call her if you want to."  
The young teen ran into the kitchen and called her friend. Janet's parents were going to pick her up before dinner. Dawn quickly packed an over night bag. Buffy was relieved because did not have to share her bed with anyone.  
"Mom, can I use your bathroom?" Buffy asked as she picked at the almost finished vegetables. "I have to shower before dinner and William is going to use mine and Dawn's bathroom."  
Joyce nodded in agreement. Buffy showed William where the towels, wash clothes, soap and shampoo were all kept before going into her room to grab her robe.  
After drying off, Buffy made her way back to her bedroom. She grabbed a pair of jeans and a black spaghetti strap shirt to wear. She got dressed and then was blow drying her hair when she heard a knock on her door. "Come in," she said shutting off the hairdryer.  
"Hi," William smiled.  
Buffy returned his smile. "Do you need something?"  
"I was just wondering if you were going out with your friends tonight."  
Buffy continued to smile. She thought William reminded her of a much younger and way more attractive Rupert. William was so polite and considerate for the most part. "No, I'm not. Is there some place you would like to go?" She asked regretfully.  
"Well, where do you guys go for fun? What do you do for fun? Clubs? Bars? What?" William inquired.  
"There is one club-like place we go to sometimes, the Bronze. It isn't too much fun though on Fridays. It's more of a coffee house atmosphere than a bar scene. My friends and I don't really like to go anywhere else because Willow doesn't like all the smoke and Xander can't dance," Buffy explained as smiled briefly. In her head she thought of Xander dancing. "We only go to other clubs when our friend's band plays else where and they aren't playing this weekend."  
William nodded. He wasn't expecting her to say that she didn't go to clubs. She was beautiful and expected her to be out dancing and having fun. "But you do know of more clubs, right?"  
Buffy nodded. "I do know of a few more but we don't usually go there because we aren't twenty-one and-"  
"Well, would you like to bring me to them?"  
Half smiling Buffy tried to explain again to him. "I can't, I'm not twenty-one."  
William grinned from ear to ear. "Don't worry about it, let me take care of it. What do you say?"  
She knew she should say no. Buffy knew she should have said no but she didn't. "Sure but please let me handle my mother and Rupert, all right? They would flip out if they knew I was going to those places."  
William agreed. They were going to talk about it after dinner.  
  
"Wow, your good." William said as they finally got into the car to go to the club. Luckily the Bronze opened relatively late and closed in the early hours of the morning so it was a great alibi for Buffy and William.  
"They trust me. I don't know why they do but they do." She explained as backed out of the drive way.  
Silence filled the car. Buffy had no idea what she was getting herself into. She couldn't believe that she had said yes to go with William. She was thinking of all of the different ways she could have said no in her head when William interrupted her thoughts.  
"I know Rupert isn't your real father but why don't you call him dad? Don't you think of him as your father? He's been with you for a long time right?" William asked.  
Buffy sighed. She didn't want to talk about Rupert. "Well, he and my mom started dating when I was around eight and I resented him."  
"Really? I can't imagine anyone resenting Rupert. He's a great person." William added.  
Buffy sighed again. William seemed to have known Rupert for a long time. Buffy recalled several occasions where Rupert talked about William. She chose to tell William flat out about their relationship. "Yeah, well, I wasn't keen on him taking my father's place. Dawn loved Rupert from the start but I didn't. He fulfilled this fantasy family that she always had wanted. Me on the other hand, I was so difficult for him. I didn't do anything bad, I just didn't respect him. I was young and wanted my father, not some step-father. I always had a vision that my dad would come back home and be the family that I dreamed about." Buffy paused and thought back to the phone call that she made to Hank. She had never hurt that badly before and hadn't since, not even after she and Angel broke up. "It took us a long time to get to the point we are in our relationship where we are now. He never gave up on me though. He was always there, even when I didn't want him to be or when I wasn't so nice to him." She paused and thought of him. It was at that moment Buffy realized that even though Rupert hadn't been there for her birth, he was there for everything else. For every major milestone that she had accomplished in the first eighteen years of her life, Rupert was there for her and loved her unconditionally. If he didn't show a father's love towards both she and Dawn, then Buffy didn't know the meaning of the word father.  
"Can I ask you how you know Rupert?" she asked William as she made a turn towards their destination.  
"Well, it's kind of a long story but I'll just give you the basics. He has always been around. He has done so much for my mum and I. I don't know what would have happened if he wasn't around.  
"When I was growing up, my mum loved me very much. I think she would have done anything for me, I think she still would. I was definitely a mama's boy," William began to smile. His smile faded as he continued his story. "I loved my father but he, he wasn't like most fathers that I knew. He liked his scotch. He drank so much of it that he smelt of it. I never wanted to be near him. He would argue with my mother when he drank and a few times I think he hit her. I know of at least two times because I was scared. I called Rupert and he broke things up before checking on me. He often would let me stay at his place for the night and I would forget all about what happened, at least for the night.  
"My father would start drinking after work, on his way home. He would stop at bars and spend most of the nights there. Other times he would hide a bottle and drink it on the way home from work so by the time he got home he smelt it. I don't know how but most nights he would drink almost an entire bottle." William was silent. Buffy didn't ask any questions. She didn't know if he was going to continue or stop. She most certainly didn't want to make him talk.  
William looked out of the window and continued. "Rupert and my father were best friends. They had grown up a few houses away from each other and went through school and university together. After they completed university my dad met my mum and they married. Before I was born my dad's dad died suddenly and it hit him hard. My mum said that's when he began to hit the scotch. It just snow balled and got worse and worse until one night when I was eight or nine my dad didn't come home. He had gotten into a car accident. He was killed. Luckily he didn't kill anyone else, it was just him."  
Buffy thought for a moment while William stopped again. She didn't think by asking how William knew Rupert that it would turn into such an emotional retelling of something that obviously William was very emotional about. She felt bad. She felt bad because his childhood was so hard. He felt bad because his father was an alcoholic. Again, she didn't expect him to continue but he did.  
"Rupert was always around before my father died. He was like an uncle to me. I would ask him to go to things with me instead of my father. I always wanted him to be my father. After my father died, he helped my mum with a lot of things. He helped her by watching me and helping her financially, even though she was stubborn for a while and wouldn't want his help. He was and still is a good friend to her, and me. I know my father loved me but Rupert actually showed me love. He moved shortly after my father died and even after he moved to the US, he would still come back home and visit and still make time for me and my mother. We wanted to come to the wedding when he and your mother got married but her sister was getting married and that took priority over Rupert. I was so mad, I really wanted to be there and see him get married. Now I think of him more of a father. He lives in another country and he still has always made time for me." He paused before he looked at Buffy. "That's why I don't understand how you could resent him. He is the kindest natured man."  
William continued talking about good times he had with Rupert while Buffy began to feel bad. Rupert was a good person, and from William said it seemed like he was always a nice person. She felt horrible for the way that she treated him through out the years.  
Buffy didn't respond, she didn't even try. What could she say? William saw the discomfort on Buffy's face and changed the subject.  
"Are we almost there?"  
"Oh, what? I'm sorry. Yes, we are a few blocks from there."  
A few moments later Buffy parked the car in a parking a garage and began walking with William to the club. They aren't going to let me in, she thought to herself.  
"Hi, William said as he handed the bouncer an id.  
When the bouncer asked for Buffy's she didn't know what to do. "I forgot it at home," Was all she could manage to say.  
"Are you twenty-one?" The bouncer smiled.  
Before Buffy could answer William calmly answered for her. "Yeah she is, she just twenty-one a few days ago. I'm her cousin treating her to her first drink. Hey mate; do you remember when you turned twenty-one? It's a big day in a person's life." William explained.  
Buffy was nervous. She would have never bought that story. It sounded too generic. The bouncer looked at William and then looked at her.  
"Is that true sweetie?" He asked.  
Smiling, Buffy nodded.  
"All right, go in, have fun, don't drink too much and happy birthday. Sweetie, don't forget your id next time, all right?" The bouncer said as he stamped her hand.  
"No sir, I won't. Thank you." She said as she followed William into the club. "I can't believe that worked."  
William laughed as he grabbed Buffy's hand. "I told you it would work."  
The two spent hours dancing and having fun. They sat at the bar and drank water and soda while they tried talking to each other. At two thirty they left the club and walked back to the car.  
"I had a lot of fun tonight." She smiled as she unlocked the Jeep Cherokee.  
William entered the car and reached for his seat belt. "Me too. It was fun."  
The two continued to talk until they pulled into the driveway at three-fifteen. There were no lights on in the house, which meant that no one was waiting up for them. They continued to talk in the car for a little while so they wouldn't disturb anyone sleeping in the house.  
They both were giggling when William brought something up. "I have to apologize once more."  
"For what?" She asked not knowing what He was talking about.  
"For the incident at your work. I had no idea that you were related to Rupert and-"  
Buffy interrupted him and playfully hit him. "That again? That was so long ago! Don't even worry about it! Your family now, it doesn't matter! And don't bring it up again!"  
The two shared a few more laughs before they entered the house. William and Buffy tip-toed up the stairs said good night to each other once again and went into their perspective rooms.  
Once in her room, Buffy got ready for bed. She was unwinding by reading a magazine. About twenty minutes later she shut off the light and went to bed.  
Once in bed, Buffy could not sleep. She tossed and turned for a half hour. Many things were running through her head. She first began to think about William and his respect for Rupert. She then thought about something she had been thinking of doing for a long time. She then thought back to William's conversation. She finally got out of bed to see if that sentiment was keeping her awake.  
At four-seventeen, she walked over to her vanity and picked up her dictionary. After several moments she grabbed her stationary and her black Winnie the Pooh pen and began to scribble some things. Finally, she formulated a letter.  
  
I found several definitions for father that I thought I'd share with you. Here they are.  
father- a male parent  
  
fatherhood- the state or time of being a father  
  
fatherless- without a father.  
  
fatherly- describes a man or male behavior typical of a kind and caring father  
Do you know how many of these definitions you fit? One. You left Dawn and me fatherless. You don't deserve to fit any other definition. I don't care how many children you have and how good you are now 'with the children you want', you are not a father and never will be. You have burned your bridge with me and Dawn and you know what, you probably don't even care.  
I resented the fact that you were gone and I naively wanted to wait for you to come back home and didn't want mom to marry someone else. I hated her new husband for years. You know what he did while I spent my time hating him? He loved me, he showed me love. He made time to pick me up after school or to cart my friends and me all over the town. He went to parent's nights and he has been there for my school functions. He bought me a bracelet with my initials on it, he purposely had an 'S' for Summers engraved on it instead of a 'G' for Giles. That showed a lot of love and I know it hurt him to do it but he would never say anything because he isn't like that. He loves me unconditionally.  
He loves Dawn too. He went with her to those stupid father-daughter girls scout outings and helped her with her science projects and was there for her dance recitals and her school conferences. You know why? He loves us. He is a fatherly man. Rupert Giles is our father, not you and I thank God for that every day that I am a live.  
I guess this has been building up for years and years. I had to let this out. I can honestly say I hate you and I am truly thankful that you are not in my life, my baby sister's life or my mother's life. My mother had to work extremely hard to provide for us after you left us.  
I guess it took me over ten years to tell you that I hate you.  
Buffy  
  
Buffy picked up her small address book and looked under's' for Summers. She found Hank's address. Joyce had no idea that Buffy knew Hank's address. Buffy had looked through her mother's papers before Angel drove her back to LA to see Stacy's grave and she had held onto it after then. After addressing the envelope, she quietly walked down the stairs and out the front door. She walked two blocks to the neighborhood mail box and stared at the letter. She knew what she had stated in the letter was harsh but Hank was a harsh person. He had caused Buffy, Dawn and Joyce so much pain. Buffy didn't realize that she was the only one of the Summers women still holding on to that pain. She wanted to let go of it for so long, and she finally was.  
She watched in what seemed like slow motion as she let go of the letter. It slowly danced from her hand and gracefully fell down deep into the box. She quietly closed the lid to the mailbox and began to walk back home.  
Quietly, she climbed her stair case not wanting to wake the slumbering people. She walked into her room, quietly closed her door and took off her sneakers. She was lying in bed as she began to think again. She silently thanked William for making her think. 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen  
  
Author's Note: I would like to thank lilmamaday, Kristine and Johanna for your thoughtful reviews. Again, they mean a lot to me, thank you all.  
Author's note 2: "Because You Loved Me" belongs to Celine Dion or who ever wrote the song. I am not a fan but the song fits into a part towards the end of the chapter. It was the first song that came to my mind.  
Author's Note 3: Enjoy this chapter! Please keep the reviews coming! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! Thanks again for reading!  
  
"Are you sure you are all right with this? We don't have to go," Joyce asked Buffy as Buffy stood in Joyce's bedroom. She watched her mother pack her belongings and place them into an overnight bag. A painting Joyce had been looking for for years was being sold at an estate sale a few hours away. She and Rupert were going to try and purchase it for their home. Joyce felt a little guilty for leaving Buffy just a few days before she left for school.  
"Mom, don't worry about it. I don't move to school for another few days. Go, get the painting you want. I'll be fine, maybe I'll finish packing too." Buffy tried to reassure her mother. The only thing she wasn't looking forward to was watching Dawn.  
"All right. You have the number where your father and I will be staying, and you have our cell phone numbers."  
"Mom, I've been home with Dawn before by myself. Don't worry about it."  
Joyce zipped her bag and looked at Buffy. "Dawn is coming with us. I really want you to concentrate on packing so you will be all done by the time we get back. I'll leave you and William money for dinner for tonight and maybe enough to rent a movie. Have fun. We'll be back tomorrow."  
Buffy followed Joyce downstairs and helped Dawn put her bag into the car. The three were all set to go. "Please find time to do some packing," Joyce told Buffy as she hugged her and got into the car. She, Rupert and Dawn waived good bye as Buffy and William stood on the porch also waiving. They watched as they drove away and could no longer be seen.  
"What are you up to tonight?" William asked as they went back into the house.  
"What do you mean? I have to pack tonight. I'm leaving for school in a few days." Buffy answered as she closed the door and followed William into the family room.  
"Come on, are you really going to stay in tonight and pack when there is good fun to be had?" William asked.  
Buffy thought he had a point. Joyce didn't want her to do all of her packing, she had said just do some.  
"I guess I could do some packing this afternoon and then go out for some fun later."  
William smiled. "Now you're talking!"  
  
"You know, this is why there are so many underage kids drinking. No one in this area cares about real id," William explained as he and Buffy entered a bar. They used the same story that they used in the previous place to get Buffy in and to both of their amazement, it worked.  
"I know. Oh well, what can you do about it?" She asked as they sat down at a table.  
A waitress came over and asked them what they wanted to drink. "A diet coke please?" Buffy asked. The waitress looked at her kind of funny. No one ever came in and ordered just a diet coke.  
"And rum. The lady will have a diet coke and rum. Beer for myself please," William explained.  
The waitress gave them a strange look and went to get the drinks. Buffy just laughed.  
"I didn't want rum.I don't even know what it tastes like," she explained with a half-smile.  
"People in places like this find it hard to believe that customers don't come here to drink. Just sip it, if you don't like it, don't drink it." A grin found its way to William's face. "After all, I owe you drink for your 'birthday'," William said referring to the lie that had gotten them into the club and then the bar.  
Buffy nodded as the waitress found her way back to the table. She then handed the drinks to William and Buffy.  
"So you're pretty enough, why don't you have any boyfriends?" William asked after sipping his Heineken.  
"Well, Xander, my last boyfriend and I broke up after we graduated," Buffy began to explain as she sipped her rum and diet coke. She made a face, took another sip and then continued. "We decided we would be better as friends. He was actually one of the first people I met when I first moved here. I miss him, I haven't heard from him since he left in June. Then there was Angel." She paused for a minute to take another sip.  
William chuckled. "Angel? What kind of a wussy name is that?"  
"The kind of wuss who was athletic and was the captain of the soccer teams and football teams for his last few years of high school. He is at NYU now and I think he wanted to studying journalism but I don't really remember. He was my first love." She paused and before William had a chance to intervene, she began to speak again. "The last time I saw him I think he was kind of angry with me."  
"Why would you say that?"  
"Because Xander was his brother. I think he holds that against me. He came into work and was looking for a cd for his girlfriend." Buffy took another sip of her drink. She then stared into the glass.  
"What's the big deal about that? Sunnydale isn't that big, it isn't like there is another music store in town."  
Buffy shook her head while still staring into the glass. She began to play with the stirrer and stirred the lemon and ice floating in her drink. "The CD was of a band we had seen in concert many times while we were dating. He made the point of telling me it was for his girlfriend and asked me to help him look for it when there was a big display that he walked by." She didn't know why she was feeling the way she was. She also didn't know why she chose to tell William all of this.  
"Wow, you seem pretty stuck on this Angel guy."  
She shook her head slowly. "Not stuck on him, he was just the first guy I loved. I fell in love with him. He was my first. It was so easy to do. I love Xander but I wasn't in love with him," Buffy told William as she finished her drink. "Excuse me; miss," she said getting the waitress' attention, "could I have another one please?"  
The waitress nodded her head and headed over to the bartender.  
"How about you William? You ever in love?" Buffy asked turning the tables on William.  
William stared at his half full bottle of beer. He could only answer the question one way. "I have been with a lot of girls, too many to keep track of, but yes, and I have loved one woman."  
"Thank you," Buffy told the waitress as she sat her drink down and took the empty glass away. "What happened?"  
William took a swig from the green bottle and placed it back on the coaster. "I don't talk about this very much," he began to say as he paused. He finished his beer and put down the empty bottle. The waitress asked if he would like another beer. Looking down at the empty coaster, he just said no and continued on with his story. "We went through so much together. We had begun to date a few years ago and actually just broke up before I came here, that's one reason why I am here. I couldn't bear to be around the things that reminded me of her."  
Buffy went from taking little sips of her drink to almost a gulp. "What happened?" She repeated.  
"Well, as I said, Dru and I went through a lot. About a year and a half ago Dru was pregnant. We hadn't been dating for too long, but we loved each other a lot. I loved her so much. I asked her to marry me. I think I would have asked her if she hadn't become pregnant and she knew that. I had never felt this way about anyone before. We made plans to marry after the baby was born. I couldn't wait to be a father. I wanted this little person to have everything I didn't have. I wanted my child to have a father who put him first and loved him and was there for him. I didn't want to be the father that my father was. I wanted to be different." William began to tell Buffy as he picked up a napkin and began to tear it apart.  
"The baby was born last January and I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. A little girl we named Emma. My mother was excited to have her first grandchild. Dru and I were planning on getting married in June. God, she would have looked so beautiful in a gown." William stopped talking for a minute. "In May Dru and I went out for dinner, nothing unusual. Her mother was watching Emma. Dru had something important to tell me. I figured it was something about the wedding, she was so nervous about the whole thing."  
William stopped again. Buffy finished her drink and ordered another one. She was on the edge of her seat, she wanted to know what happened to Dru, but she didn't want to pry. If he wanted to continue he would.  
Finally, when Buffy's drink came, he continued. "I'll never forget it. I paid for our meal and we left. We were on our way to the movies. We were holding hands. We were talking about what movies we wanted to see. We started arguing over what to see. Finally, she lets go of my hand and- ," William stopped because tears filled his eyes.  
After regain his composure, William continued. "I tried to calm her down. I tried to tell her we would see what ever she wanted to see. Then, she started crying and told me..she told me," again, William had to stop. This was the first time he had told the story in full to someone who he hadn't known for an extended period of time. With an angry expression on his face, William continued again with his story. "She told me that Emma wasn't mine. She told me that this little girl that I had thought was my own child; my own flesh and blood wasn't mine. Dru had cheated and they were planning on getting married. She told him about me and he gave her time to break up with me. Who does things like that? I swear that was the only time in my entire life that I ever wanted to punch anyone. She made me so angry."  
"I can imagine," Buffy said as she finished her drink. "That isn't right."  
"No, it isn't. I went back and packed everything I owned from our flat. Everything that held a relation to my relationship with Dru or Emma I left behind. I didn't want anything to do with them. She actually had the audacity to tell me we could still be friends and I could still have a relationship with Emma. I told her I wanted a paternity test. We scheduled them and a few weeks later we got them back. I wasn't Emma's father. My mother still sees her, but I can't"  
William just stopped talking. Buffy, who by that point had a wee bit of a buzz on her didn't say anything. She couldn't follow that up. After looking around at the bar emptying out, William looked up from the tabletop he had been staring at. "Do you want to go?"  
Buffy tried standing up and then she fell and began laughing. "Sure."  
William helped Buffy up. He paid for the drinks and helped Buffy to the car. He didn't think that she had a lot to drink but he knew the bar tender made her drinks on the strong side. When her drink had been brought to her, the alcohol could be smelt before the waitress placed it on the table. He was thinking he should have cut her off and said no after the first drink but at her age, he drank a lot more and could hold his liquor.  
William helped Buffy get into the car and took the car keys. He put the keys in the ignition and drove. She began to lecture him about how he couldn't drive the car. She never gave an explanation but she just kept taunting him with the subject. When they pulled into the drive way, she stumbled out of the car and climbed up the stairs and sat on the steps inside of the house. William followed her in and closed the door.  
"Why don't you sleep down her tonight? It's closer than your bed."  
Buffy stood up and walked closer to him. "No, I want my bed. I need to get my pajamas silly!" She said as she began to laugh out loud.  
She began to walk up the stairs and she almost fell, which made her laugh some more. "Here, let me help you up the stairs," he told her.  
William let Buffy lean into him. She began to laugh again.  
"What may I ask is so funny?"  
"Your hair. It's so blonde, and spiky. Can I call you Spike?" She asked, as she laughed again.  
William shook his head. He wished he had never brought her to the bar. He was getting a little annoyed with her at that point. "Sure," he said short-tempered as they reached the top of the stairs. "You can call me what ever you want to."  
She stopped and walked towards him. She lost her balance and fell into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hi Spike," She smiled.  
"Hi Buffy, let's get you to your room,"  
They walked into her room. He walked her to her bed and took off her shoes. "'Night Buffy," he said as he began to walk out of the room.  
"Wait," she yelled at him.  
Irritated, he turned back and looked at her. "Yes?"  
"I need my pj's. They are over there," she said pointing to a button down night shirt with matching pants bottoms on the bench to her vanity.  
"Fine," William said as he picked them up.  
Buffy laid down and began to laugh again. She was moving around on top of her bed.  
"What?" William asked as he tried to leave Buffy's room again.  
"I need help Spike."  
"Doing what?"  
"Getting my pj's on!"  
William had had just enough. "You can get your own bloody pajamas on your own bloody body!" William was so infuriated. He thought to himself, 'three drink? Three bloody drinks to get her drunk?' He just shock his head. He was almost out of her room when he heard a thud.  
"Hey Spike, I feel off my bed! Now I really need help," Buffy laughed.  
William turned to help Buffy. Her chest was full exposed since she had not buttoned her shirt. She was on the floor with her head against her bed laughing.  
"Spike, I think I hurt myself," she began to cry.  
William helped her off the floor and into bed. He sat on the bed next to her and began to button her shirt. "Buffy, you have to get some sleep. You need to rest before your parents come home tomorrow," he told her.  
William had buttoned the last button on Buffy's night shirt. He was about to stand up when Buffy crawled into his lap. She wrapped her feet around his waist. "Thank you," she told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
"Buffy, what are you-," William was interrupted by Buffy kissing him. She pushed her body closer to his. He finally pulled away. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" He asked as he stood up.  
"I thought that you may want something," she said smiling and walking closer to him.  
With a puzzled look on his face, William started shouting, "are you mad? What is wrong with you?"  
With that being said, Buffy walked back over to her bed and laid down. Tears fell from her eyes and rolled off her check. 'Good job William,' he told himself, 'look at what you have done now, you made cry.'  
"Buffy?" He asked trying to be heard above her cried.  
"Go away!"  
"Buffy, what's wrong?"  
"No! Go away!: She repeated.  
William walked over to the sobbing teen. "Buffy?"  
"You don't think I'm desirable, do you?"  
Confused, William just asked, "What?"  
"You don't think I am pretty or sexy or any thing that means pretty."  
"What would you think that?"  
"Because you won't have sex with me?" She pouted facing away from William.  
'Good job William, go and give her just one drink and look at what happened.' He thought to himself. "Can we talk about this in the morning?" He asked not wanting to deal with a drunk.  
"Fine, but will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"  
He huffed and puffed. He also prayed that Rupert wouldn't come home too early and find him in bed with his daughter. William figured that wouldn't fly over so well with Rupert.  
"Fine, only until you fall asleep. Then I'm back in my room."  
  
Buffy woke up the next morning to the sun hitting her face. The light woke her up. She rolled over so she wouldn't face the wall and saw William. She began to shake him. "What the hell are you doing in my bed? Get out!"  
William opened one of his eyes. "Excuse me?"  
"You heard me. Why are you in my bed?  
"You don't remember?" William asked sitting up. He looked at the alarm clock to his left. The clock read 8:14am. He fell asleep well after four am and could have slept longer. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep in Buffy's bed. He was going to stay only until she fell asleep and then go back to his room. He explained Buffy's behavior the previous night and into the morning.  
Buffy was a little shocked. She couldn't remember what happened. The last thing she remembered was William talking about Dru and the baby that wasn't his. After that, she didn't remember anything. She also thought that William wouldn't lie to her.  
Buffy sat up and hung her head down low. "Oh my God."  
"Buffy, don't worry about."  
"No, I was pretty embarrassing last night."  
"No Buffy, really, don't worry about it. It's in the past now."  
"No, you were telling me something important and you have been really nice to me and I treated you horribly."  
"Buffy," William said as he sat up and wrapped an arm around Buffy. "We're even. This makes up for the time at your work. I don't want to ever hear about this again, all right?"  
Buffy rested her head on his shoulder. "You really wouldn't sleep with me?" She asked.  
"No way! I know you too well now! That would be like sleeping with a relative! Your Rupert's daughter, I can't and wouldn't." He smiled. "Plus I want you around for a long time; you're a good friend, when you're not illegally drinking."  
Buffy started laughing. William soon joined her. They got out of bed, showered and dressed just in the nick of time. Joyce, Rupert and Dawn arrived home ten minutes after Buffy took a shower.  
  
The purple one was packed. The green one was packed. Buffy was trying to reach the pink photo album. After trying for a while to get it from her top shelf of her closet, it fell out and onto the floor. It was followed by a blue one.  
Buffy picked up the pink one first. Inside held pictures from her childhood. Her mother had took so many pictures when she was growing up that she made two photo albums. Joyce made one for herself and one for Buffy and her friends. Joyce was also doing the same thing for Dawn. Buffy looked through the pictures and smiled. Most of them were of her, Dan and Stacy. They seemed so young then. After all, she was in elementary school. She was a little sad. She and her friends were starting college and moving on with their lives but Stay wasn't there. Buffy shook her head and smiled. She missed her friend but she was in a better place. She placed the album in the box going with her to college.  
Next she looked through the blue album which contained pictures form her first few years in Sunnydale. Willow had changed so much. She had matured a lot and got really pretty. Xander looked the same but older. She missed Xander so much. No one had heard from him since he left. Buffy was worried about him but she knew in time she would talk to him again.  
She was about to place the album with the rest when a 5x7 picture fell out from the back of the album. She picked up the picture that was face down on the floor. It was a family picture of her family. The picture was taken her freshman year of high school. Dawn, who was eight and missing her front teeth, was the first person in the picture and was sitting on Joyce's lap. Rupert stood next to Joyce with his arm around Joyce. He also had another arm around Buffy who was sitting in front of him. Buffy looked completely miserable. She was the only one not smiling in the picture.  
She began to think about the picture and how she had treated Rupert in the past. She thought about conversations that she had had with William and Rupert's generosity.  
She also thought about the letter she had sent Hank. He must have received it by then. She had felt so much better since she mailed the letter. The letter made her think even more about the way she treated Rupert. She put the photo back into the album and packed it. She then walked over to her computer and began to type.  
  
Faith, Amy and Connor had just left the Giles' house. Joyce had made a big meal and invited everyone Buffy wanted to have over. Willow was unable to make the dinner because she had left a few days earlier for Boston. Oz was with her so he was unable to make it.  
Buffy was all ready feeling a little homesick when she went to her room to pack. Dawn helped her finish the last few things. "I can't believe that you are going tomorrow," Dawn said as she placed the frame of Willow, Buffy and Xander in a box.  
"Yeah, this time tomorrow you will be living in my room for a while," she told Dawn with a smile. It had been decided that William was going to stay with the Giles' for a while longer. He would be living in Dawn's room still and Dawn would have Buffy's room.  
Quietness filled Buffy and Dawn. They both listened to the radio as they finished packing. When they were all done they both laid on Buffy's bed.  
"Thanks for helping me."  
"Sure, any time." Dawn smiled. Her smile faded. "Buffy?"  
"Yeah."  
"I'm going to miss you. You have always been around."  
"Dawn, I am still going to be around. You can come and visit me."  
Dawn looked down at the ceiling. "I know, but you have always been down the hall. Things are going to be different around here." She paused and gathered her thoughts for a minute. "Buffy, I want to be just like you when I grow up."  
Buffy put her arm around her sister and snuggled with her for a moment. "Really? Why?"  
"Why not? Because your smart and pretty and your nice. I know you aren't always crazy about having a younger sister but you have always made time for me. Remember when you let me take Mr. Gordo to show and tell?"  
Buffy smiled. She remembered as if it was yesterday. A while after that show and tell she had bought Dawn her own stuffed big who she named G.J. "I do Dawnie. I am going to miss you."  
Dawn laid close to her sister and rested her head on Buffy's shoulder, "I know, I am missable."  
Buffy smiled. "Yah, you are. Now take a shower so we can go to bed and move me into college so you can have your own room tomorrow!" Dawn jumped off the bed and grabbed her stuff and headed in to the shower.  
Buffy was writing in her journal when Joyce and Rupert knocked on the door. "Come in," she said.  
"Hi Honey. We just wanted to say good night. We are heading to bed. We have a big day tomorrow," Joyce said as she smiled weakly. "It's not too late to decide to live at home you know."  
"mom, I'm moving to school tomorrow. I'll be forty-five minutes away, we'll be all right." Buffy explained.  
"I know, I just can't believe that you are all grown up all ready." Joyce said with tears in her eyes.  
"Oh no, here she goes again," Buffy smiled and looked at Rupert. "Can't you do something about her?"  
Rupert returned Buffy's smile. "I can't, she's been acting like this all day!"  
"Fine, I'll go to bed now. Good night honey," Joyce told her daughter as she hugged and kissed her. She then got up and walked out of the room. Rupert was following her when Buffy stopped him.  
"Hey, would you mind staying for a minute?" She asked him.  
"Of course I will," He told Buffy. Buffy closed the door. He pulled the bench from Buffy's vanity and sat on it.  
"Okay. Please just let me talk for a minute before you say anything, promise?" She asked.  
"Is there anything wrong?" He asked concerned.  
Buffy shook her head. "No, please just listen." Buffy paused for a minute. She was searching for words to say. She had rehearsed this moment several times in her head before deciding on actually going through with it.  
Buffy sat down and started her conversation. "Okay. I admit I haven't treated you very nice in the past. I have actually treated you very badly for a long time. I have never showed you any type of love, or affection, gratitude, emotions, nothing. I have been completely cold to you. I don't even have a name that I address you as, and I am sorry."  
Buffy stopped for a minute. Rupert was about to say something. "Please, don't say anything yet, there's more, and you promised you wouldn't say anything until I was done." Rupert nodded and let Buffy continue. "About three weeks ago I mailed a letter to hank. Here is a copy of the letter I sent him," she said as she handed him a piece of paper. She had kept this copy in her journal. She waited until Rupert had finished reading the letter. He had tears in his eyes. Rupert had known, at least in recent years that Buffy didn't hate him. He knew that she cared somewhat for him; he just didn't realize how much she cared for him. Again he was about to speak and Buffy interrupted him.  
"Wait, I have one more thing to say, She told him as she grabbed a matted paper. She was going to frame the paper instead of putting a matt back to it, but she liked the way the cream colored paper looked against the navy blue matting. "I heard this song on the radio the other day and I listened to the words. I don't really like the song but I like the lyrics. They-they kind of reminded me of you, so I wanted to give them to you. They really fit how I feel about you.  
Rupert began to read the lyrics silently"  
Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion  
  
For all those times you stood by me  
  
For all the truth that you made me see  
  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
  
For all the wrong that you made right  
  
For every dream you made come true  
  
For all the love I found in you  
  
I'll be forever thankful  
  
You're the one who held me up  
  
Never let me fall  
  
You're the one who saw me through it all  
  
You were my strength when I was weak  
  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
  
You saw the best there was in me  
  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
  
I'm everything I am  
  
Because you loved me  
  
You gave me wings and made me fly  
  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
  
You said no star was out of reach  
  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
  
I had your love I had it all  
  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
  
Maybe I don't know that much  
  
But I know this much is true  
  
I was blessed because I was loved by you  
  
You were always there for me  
  
The tender wind that carried me  
  
A light in the dark shining your love into my life  
  
You've been my inspiration  
  
Through the lies you were the truth  
  
My world is a better place because of you  
  
Buffy began to talk again before Rupert had a chance to interrupt her. He continued to have tears flow down from his checks. Buffy's eyes were now misting too. "You have been there for all of the important events in my life. You were at my parent conferences in school and at my graduation. You were there for me after the car accident and everything with Stacy." She began to laugh. "You even had patients to teach me how to drive even though I was and still am a pretty bad driver." Both chuckled at that remark. "But the point is that you have been there for me," she told him as she wiped her eyes. "You have loved me unconditionally and I am sorry it took me so long to realize how much I really do love you. You are the most caring and kind person I know. I am very lucky to have you in my life." Buffy now with tears n her eyes. "Is it all right to call you dad?" Too overwhelmed with his emotions, all Rupert could do was embrace Buffy.  
Outside of the Buffy's bedroom stood William. He was going to ask Buffy what time they were leaving tomorrow morning. He was going to help her move into her dorm room. William heard almost the entire conversation. All he could do was grin. 


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen  
  
Author's Note: This is the second time I have posted this chapter today. The earlier one did not read easily and I had missed some parts of the story that I wanted to include. I apologize to those who did read it earlier. It is know updated and actually makes since!  
I also wanted to say that I wanted to post this like a week ago but there has been so much stuff going around my dorm. It has been a very stressful weekend and emotionally high. None the less, I would like to thank those you have reviewed the last chapter. I really appreciate it and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter too.  
I was also wondering if anyone knew anything about how to make websites? I have wanted to start my own site and post my stories (fan fic and non) and I have no idea how to do it. I have a site through geocities but I'm not sure how to add pages and such. Any suggestions will be appreciated!  
As always, thanks for reading my story! LA  
  
"This is the last of it," William said as he and Dawn walked into Buffy's new dorm room carrying two boxes.  
"Thanks guys. So I guess this is-mom, what are you doing?" Buffy asked as she looked at her mother who was unpacking her daughter's sheets.  
"Oh, what? I thought I would make your bed for you. You have so much stuff to do, I just thought you would help you by making your bed, that's all, unless you don't want me to help you," Joyce told Buffy as she continued to make Buffy's bed.  
Buffy rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe that her mother was making such a big deal out of her being in college, in the same town. She knew her mother would cry once she left. "Fine, please make my bed mom," Buffy told her mother trying to make her sound useful. She then shot Rupert a look of confusion and he smiled and gave her a calm look back. He too was a little emotional about Buffy going to school because she was growing up. She definitely was no longer a child. He kept these feelings inside not wanting to cause Buffy any more grief. Plus he realized that children do grow up.  
"Just let your mother do as she pleases," Rupert whispered to her as he walked towards her.  
Buffy looked at the floor before replaying. She knew he was right but Buffy didn't want her mother acting like this. "I know, I am just sorry for your car ride home." Buffy said sarcastically.  
"Why is that?" Rupert asked.  
"Because she'll cry the entire way home."  
Rupert shared a quick smile. He knew what Buffy was saying was true. Joyce would feel upset because your first born was off at college. "Nah, we brought two cars, remember?"  
When Joyce was finished making the bed she stood in front of Buffy with tears in her eyes. "All right honey, we're leaving now. Unless you want us to stay to-"  
"No Joyce, she has to settle in herself," Rupert explained. "The best way to do that is to have us leave."  
"But what about your roommate? You may not like her and-"  
"Mom, I haven't even met my roommate yet. I'll tell you all about her after I meet her. Now, Dad is right, you guys have to go." Buffy said with a smile. "Not that I am trying to get you out of here. William and Dawn look so bored, look at them." Buffy told Joyce as Dawn and William were sitting on the floor next too boxes. They looked exhausted.  
"All right, we're leaving, right now. I love you honey," Joyce said as she wrapped her arms around her daughter.  
"I love you too. Don't be too sad, I am still in the same town as you! I'll be back home to visit soon!"  
Just as Buffy was about to say good bye to the others, a young woman came into the room with a few suitcases and a box. She looked a little shocked to see Buffy and her family in the room.  
The woman with ear length auburn hair looked at everyone. "Is Buffy Summers in the room?"  
Buffy came forward and introduced herself.  
"I'm Anya, your roommate; it's nice to meet you."  
Buffy introduced Anya to everyone in the room before asking if she needed help moving her stuff in.  
"No, this is all I have for now. Everything else is being shipped and should be here soon. I just took with me what I could on the plane."  
"I was just walking my family out but I will be back up in a few minutes and we can talk," Buffy said with a smile.  
Buffy walked her family outside to their cars. She said good bye to William and Dawn promising that they each could visit her any time; all they had to do was ask her first.  
Joyce gave her daughter another hug as she said good bye and got into her car.  
"You know, I would never say this in front of your mother but it isn't too late you know," Rupert said.  
Confused, Buffy just asked, "too late for what?"  
"To stay at home. We could work something out if you ever change your mind and don't want to be here any more." Rupert was a sad. He and Buffy had finally developed a good, strong relationship and now she was leaving. He didn't want to leave her but at the same time he knew she had to move on and grow up.  
A smile found its way to Buffy's mouth. "You know what I am going to say, don't you?"  
Rupert nodded. "Yes, I did but I wanted to throw that out on the table."  
Buffy hugged Rupert. "Thank you for everything, really."  
"If there is anything you need,"  
"Dad, I'll call you."  
Rupert nodded as he got into his car. Buffy watched the convoy of her family's cars leave the parking lot. She was a little relieved and excited. She couldn't wait to live life as a college student.  
"All right, I'm back, hi" she smiled at Anya as she entered the room.  
"Hi," Anya told her.  
Anya began to tell Buffy a little about herself. She was from a small town just outside if Chicago. Her parents both had jobs with business which meant that they were never around. Her nanny basically raised her and her brother. Her brother Ben was finishing his undergrad degree at Northwestern University. Anya had also revealed that like Buffy, she too was single. She and her boyfriend had broken up after high school. He joined the military and Anya was in California. The distance would have been a huge strain on their relationship.  
As Buffy and Anya continued to unpack, they continued to talk. Buffy told Anya something about her family but didn't revel too much. At four thirty they left their room and began the orientation portion of their day. They listened to lecture after lecture about being in college. They also sat through ice breaker after ice breaker. After two hours of freshman orientation activities, Buffy and Anya went to the dining hall and had dinner.  
As they were chatting, a blonde hair boy was walking around talking to different freshmen. He finally made his way to Anya and Buffy's table.  
"Hi, I'm Riley. I am involved with student government."  
Buffy introduced her self. She remembered the blonde hair boy as her tour guide. Eh had invited her to go to a party and Xander got mad.  
"I remember you. You were here with your boyfriend during an open house, right?"  
Buffy nodded. It was as if Riley was reading her mind. "Yah that was me."  
"How is your boyfriend doing?"  
"Well, I don't know. I haven't heard from him since June. He went to Europe. Plus, he isn't my boyfriend any more."  
"I'm sorry to hear that, but I am sure you'll meet someone new."  
"I bet I will," Buffy said returning Riley's smile. "Riley, this is my roommate Anya," Buffy said as she introduced the two.  
  
"He totally was," Anya said as she unlocked the door to their room. She and Buffy were talking about Riley. Anya was convinced that Riley was flirting with Buffy through out dinner.  
"No way, he was just being nice."  
"Well, he wasn't being that nice to me," Anya commented back.  
As the two continued to talk about this back and forth there was a knock at the door.  
"Come in," they yelled.  
"Hi, I live next door and just wanted to pop my head in and say hi. I'm Tara. Are you freshmen too?" The blonde haired girl asked.  
"Hi Tara, we're freshmen too. I'm Anya and this is Buffy. How are you?"  
The three continued to talk. Both Anya and Buffy could tell that Tara was very nervous and kind of shy but seemed very kind. She spoke in a quiet voice and didn't share too much information about herself.  
"We have that last activity left of orientation, are you going to go?" Anya asked Tara.  
"I-I think so."  
"You could come along with us." Buffy offered.  
"Yah, Buffy all ready has connections. The blonde boy, who is the junior class president, an honors student and a sports star will be there. He'll hook us up, he likes Buffy. He was flirting with her and," Anya began to tell Tara as they left the room and made their way towards the activity building.  
  
After the last activity of the evening, Riley met up with Buffy, Anya and Tara. Again, Anya was quit convinced that Riley was flirting with Buffy. He was very polite and nice to Anya and Tara but he was extra nice to Buffy.  
"I wanted to let you guys know that my frat," he began to say as Tara whispered to Anya.  
"Is that the guy?"  
"Yah, that's him, can't you tell? He is all over her! I forgot to mention he was in a frat too." Anya whispered back.  
"My frat is having a 'welcome back' party once everyone else returns to school. Would you three be interested in going?"  
Buffy looked at her new friends. They all nodded. "Sure, just let us know when it is."  
Riley returned her nod. "All right."  
"Um, we're going to head back right now. I really have to go to the bathroom," Anya said as she and Tara walked away without farther explanation.  
"Interesting girl," Riley said referring to Anya.  
"Yah, I'm starting to notice that too."  
"So Buffy Summers, tell me about yourself," Riley said as he walked her back to her dorm.  
"Well, I'm from a happy home. I have my mom and step-father who both love me very much. I have a younger sister. You?"  
Riley smiled. "Wow, you're very to the point. I am an only child. My parents live in Boston. My father is a lawyer and my mother is a doctor and a part time professor at Harvard University." Riley paused for a moment. "Is there anything else I should know?"  
"That depends, what would you like to know?"  
"Are you in a relationship?" Riley asked very bluntly.  
Buffy shook her head. "No, after Xander I didn't feel like dating anyone."  
"Was it serious between you two?" Riley asked as he kicked sticks on the ground.  
"It was, we dated for a while but decided that we were better friends than lovers. I'm just glad we realized this before we did anything together."  
"Like have sex?"  
Buffy was a little shocked. Riley was very blunt.  
"God, I wish I could take that back, I didn't mean to be so bold. I'm really sorry," Riley apologized.  
"No, it's all right but yes, I'm glad I didn't sleep with him. Our friendship means more to us than some fling." She was about to turn the tables on him when Riley interrupted her. "You are absolutely beautiful, did you know that?"  
With a smile on her face, Buffy questioned him. "I'm sorry, what?"  
"You have the greatest green eyes. They are so lively and vibrant."  
"Buffy paused for a moment, still smiling. "Thank you, I think. Know what about you? Are you in a relationship?"  
"No. I've dated a lot but I have never found that right person. I'm not good at relationships." Silence filled the two as they stood in front of Buffy's dorm. "Here you go."  
"Thank you for walking me back," Buffy said.  
"No problem. We'll be in touch about the party and all. Good night Buffy Summers." He said as he kissed her hand.  
"Good night," Buffy said as she walked into her building. She ran into her building and up the stairs and into her room. Anya and Tara looked up at her with smiles in their faces. They didn't say anything.  
"Yah, he was definitely flirting," Buffy giggled as she ran for her bed and began to tell her new friends what happened outside with Riley. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen  
  
Author's note: Thank you to Kari and Johanna for your reviews (Johanna, keep reading..I'm not a Riley fan either. Just see where the part with Riley goes!). I updated quickly because I have t o go out of town this weekend, plus it's the Super Bowl (go Patriots!!! YAHOO!!! No I don't live in New England! lol) and I guess I should do some work since I am at school and plan on graduation in May! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter! As always, thanks for reading!  
Enjoy! LA  
  
"Hello?" Buffy said answering her cell phone.  
"Hey you, I'm back." A familiar male voice said on the other end of the line.  
"OZ! Your back! How was Boston? Is Will all right? Are the people nice? I h ear the people are nice." Buffy asked as she walked over to her desk and sat in her chair.  
"Boston was fun, it's a nice city. Willow is doing fine; you should give her a call soon. She'd love to hear from you. She had already met a group of people and the last I knew she was having fun. I told her I would call her after classes started. The people are great in Boston; she'll fit in fine there. She was worried over nothing. Did I miss much at orientation?"  
"Not really. You know lots of boring lectures and activities. Where are you?"  
"In my dorm room. I'm unpacking and getting settled in. Do you want to get together after registration? Maybe do lunch?"  
"Sure, I think that sounds great. I'll meet you at registration."  
"See ya then."  
  
"Hey Buffy, can we join you?" Tara asked as she and Anya walked over the table she and Oz were sitting at. The cafeteria was crowded and there were no other seats to sit at.  
"Sure. I can introduce you guys to Oz." She said as she moved her coat and bag from the chair. "How was registration?"  
"Uck! I didn't get into the freshmen writing class that you and Tara got into. I'm in the class with no one I know! I don't even know where that building is. I already hate being a freshman. You don't get to take any fun classes as a freshman."  
"Anya, we're in school, is there such thing as a fun class?" Buffy asked.  
Tara smiled. She didn't want to say anything. She always like school and didn't want to ruin the moment. "I got that math class with you too Buffy."  
"That is great!"  
"Easy for you to say," Anya mumbled as she took a bite of her pizza.  
"Hey," Oz said as he sat back down.  
"Hey, Oz I wanted to introduce you to Anya, my roommate and our neighbor Tara. Oz and I have been friends since-"  
"The beginning of time?" Oz joked.  
Everyone made small rounds of hello and introduced themselves a little. Tara and Anya both felt a little uncomfortable since they knew there was so much history between Oz and Buffy. Everyone continued to chat a little longer when Riley approached the table.  
"Good afternoon ladies," he said as he saw Oz sitting next to Buffy, "and non-lady." He paused and watched Oz for a moment. He had watched his interactions with Buffy for a while from across the cafeteria before he approached the table. Buffy and Oz were very chummy, which irritated Riley a little bit. Buffy had told him nights before that she was definitely single. "Hi, Riley Finn," was all Riley said as he stared at Oz.  
Oz was annoyed with Riley. He didn't like his persona and the way he presented himself. "Hi, I'm Oz." He said nonchalant.  
"Oz is one of my closest friends. We have known each other for-"  
Oz interrupted Buffy as he looked into Riley's eyes. "A long time."  
Everyone else could feel the hostility at the table. Anya, Tara and Buffy just exchanged looks with each other. No one knew what to say to another or to Riley or Oz. Sitting at the table felt very uncomfortable for everyone.  
"I just came over to let you ladies know that the party is going to be Thursday night, at the frat house off campus. Oz, you're welcome to come if you want," Riley said with an attitude.  
Oz just nodded. He said nothing.  
"See ya later ladies. Oz, it was a pleasure," Riley said as he walked away.  
"I don't like him," was all that Oz said as he said as he continued with his lunch.  
  
"It's lucky that we were assigned to be partners," Tara said as she and Buffy worked on a math project together. It was an ice breaker type assignment, very un-math like but none the less, it made the girls happy because they were chosen to be partners.  
"I know I'm glad you're my partner." Buffy said as she sat on Tara's floor and began to work. As she began to zone out, she looked up at the pictures on Tara's dresser. There were three other people in the photograph with the Chicago skyline in the background. "Is that your family?" Buffy asked as she pointed to the picture.  
"Yes. That is my mom; she's a first grade teacher. And that's my dad, he is into real-estate and that's Donnie, my twin brother. He is taking the year off. He thinks he wants to be a police officer, well, at least this week he does." She laughed. "He's my best friend. I have called him almost every day since we have been here. I miss all of them a lot."  
"So you're pretty close with your family? That's nice."  
"Yes. I am so lucky to have parents like them, and Donnie is terrific too. My family is very close and such good people. I can't imagine my life without them." She paused for a moment before continuing. "Are you close to your family?"  
Buffy paused. She knew that she had always been close with her mother and Dawn. Rupert had always loved her but they weren't close. They were just working that part out. Buffy did know that any of those people would do anything for her. "Yeah, I have a close family too. They are great."  
The two continued to talk for a little while. They spoke of life experiences, not related home work. They were finding out more about each other.  
After talking about relationships, Buffy asked Tara, "Have you ever been in love before?"  
Tara took a deep breath. "No. I was involved in a relationship before I left home and I thought it was love, but it wasn't. Have you?"  
Buffy thought for a moment before she started talking about Angel. She spoke about their relationship and how he was the only guy she had felt that way towards. She brought up Xander and said even after dating for almost a year, she just didn't feel what she did for Angel.  
The two continued to talk and talk until early in the morning. Buffy just knew from that point on that Tara would become a trust-worthy friend.  
  
"Welcome ladies and Oz, welcome," Riley said as he greeted them at the door of his frat house. He was a little surprise that Oz had accompanied Buffy and the other girls but he was going to act civil towards him.  
"Thanks for inviting us." Buffy smiled.  
"No problem, can I get you guys something to drink?"  
After small talk Riley walked around and talked to other people. The four friends stayed together until Anya and Tara began to speak to people from one of their classes.  
At first Oz didn't leave Buffy's side. He didn't like the way Riley looked at her and didn't want his friend to be alone with him.  
"It's all right. Oz, he's harmless." Buffy began to explain to him later that night about Riley. Oz had told Buffy how he felt about him.  
"Buffy, I don't trust him."  
"It's all right. Really, it is." Buffy said trying to reassure her friend. She didn't have a brother but she had Oz, who acted like one.  
Oz just gave Buffy a look. He didn't have to say anything. Buffy saw the disgust in his face. "Buf, he asked you out with your boyfriend standing right next to you."  
"He was just being a jerk, true but that doesn't mean he's a scary type person. He is really nice and was really helpful last week during orientation."  
Oz could see that this argument was leading no where. He knew Buffy was stubborn and there would be no talking about Riley, especially if he was made out to be the bad guy.  
Buffy wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulder and hugged him for a moment. "Oz, please just trust me, Riley is all right."  
Oz just shook his head and changed the subject. "You know the band is playing a gig next weekend. It could be big."  
"Big as in how big?" Buffy enquired. She was relieved that Oz changed the subject.  
"Not too big. We have been told that the talent manager who has some connections to No Doubt will be watching us."  
Buffy jumped up and hugged Oz. "That is incredible! Oz, I'm so happy for you! This could be your big break! That's so exciting!"  
A smile found its way to Oz's face. "Yeah, I know."  
Buffy and Oz spent time talking about Oz's possible big break. He left for just seconds to go to the bathroom and to get a drink when Riley made his way over to Buffy.  
"So what's the story with that guy?" He asked.  
"Who? Oz? No story, just an old friend."  
"I thought you said you weren't dating anyone." Riley said very softly ignoring what she had just said.  
"Did you misunderstand me? Oz is a good friend; we've been friends since we were little. He has been there for me through a lot."  
"The way he is so protective of you seems like he is your boyfriend."  
Buffy smiled. "No way, that would be like dating my brother, if I had one. No, I'll repeat yet again, he's one of my best friends."  
Riley smiled. "I'm sorry I acted like that. I just don't think he likes me very much."  
Buffy didn't know what Oz's problem was. He was generally a nice person and liked mostly everyone. She couldn't understand what Oz had against Riley. "You guys just don't know each other yet. I think Oz is just a little uncomfortable because of that."  
Riley and Buffy a few words before Riley lead her outside to the porch so they didn't have to scream at each other to have a conversation.  
"So Miss Summers, what does a boy have to do to get you out on a date?" Riley asked as they sat on the steps on the house.  
Buffy offered Riley a smile. She had a twinkle in her eyes. "It depends, are you inquiring information or asking me out?"  
"Inquiring? Asking? Both," Riley answered as he returned Buffy's smile.  
Buffy didn't know what to say. Riley was twenty-one, Buffy was eighteen. What could they possibly have in common? Why would he want to go out with her? There were other girls at the party more attractive than she was. She wondered what made her so special. At that point she didn't care. Riley was very attractive and after all, there were only three years between them. Was three years really that many?  
Buffy also began to think about something Riley had said before. Riley had said that he had never been in a serious relationship before. If he had never been in a serious relationship, what kind of person was he and why was he interested in her?  
Buffy then thought again about how she didn't care. "Riley I would like to go out with you."  
Riley smiled. He too had the twinkle in his eyes. His plan was going according to schedule. 


	20. Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty  
Author's note: thanks for all of the wonderful reviews!! I am really happy that there are people enjoying this piece! Courtney, I'm not telling you who Buffy ends up with.I want it to be a surprise! That's why I didn't specify the pairing. And Johanna, yeah there's a plan, I'm not going to say more about that but yeah, there is a plan for Riley!! Cute but boring boy, never liked him. Stay tuned and find out what it is! All right kids, enjoy the show! LA  
  
"Anya, I don't know what I did before Riley. He is the greatest boyfriend I have ever had. He's sweet and nice and so caring! And the boy's cute! Did you see those bug eyes? I have never felt this way about anyone!" Buffy said after a date with Riley. They had been dating for over a month. Buffy was on cloud nine.  
Anya, however, felt different. Riley struck her as being a bit odd. There was something about him that she couldn't figure out. He didn't show emotions that often and he was quit cold to Buffy's friends, especially Oz. She also wondered hwo they could be so close so quickly. After all, they had only been together for a little more than a month. "Yeah Buffy, that's great. I'm glad you're so happy," she smiled.  
"You know, I bet Riley would hook you up with one of his frat brothers. We could like double date!"  
"No, I'm all set but thanks for the offer." Anya was happy for her roommate but could not hear about Riley any more. When she heard his name or even saw him she got chills down her spine like someone had scratched a black board. "How is that math class you and Tara are in? Do you guys need help?" Anya asked changing the subject. Luckily the topic did not go back to Riley.  
  
"Yes Oz, yes. I promise to be there."  
"When is it?" Oz questioned his friend. Lately Buffy had blown him off for Riley. Oz still wasn't found of Riley. As matter of a fact he couldn't stand him and thought Buffy was selling herself short in the romance category.  
"Nine-thirty on Saturday night. I know how important this date is to you. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Don't worry, I will be there."  
"Promise?"  
"Yes, of course, I promise and don't worry, you will be awesome!"  
"All right, just making sure you remembered." I'll see you Saturday night."  
"All right Oz, I'll see you then and don't be nervous, you'll be great! Bye." Buffy said as she hung up the phone with her oldest friend. Oz was very anxious about his gig on Saturday night. The talent scout had liked what he had seen at the previous concert and wanted to see the band perform a few more times before the band signed them.  
Buffy then remembered that she and Riley had plans on Saturday night. She was sure that Riley wouldn't mind adjusting them. After all, it wasn't everyday that her best friend had a talent scout scoping out her best friend's band.  
"Hey An," she said as her friend walked through the door. "How was class?"  
"It was all right. How was yours?" Anya asked as she put her books on her desk and walked over to sit on her bed.  
"It was great. Look at these," Buffy said smiling as she reached for a vase with pale pink roses, her favorite, sitting in it.  
Anya wanted to smash the vase into the wall. She wasn't jealous of Riley at all. After the fight that he and Buffy had the previous night Anya was a little surprised to see that they had patched up so quickly. She had no idea what they were arguing about but she could hear them from outside the building. The fight was so intense that someone made a complaint to campus security and a security guard had to break them up. Anya watched from the window and saw just moments later her friend get into Riley's car as he sped off. Buffy didn't return to the dormitory until early morning. "They are nice." Anya managed to say.  
"Aren't they gorgeous? Riley is the best boyfriend ever. I think we should fight more often."  
"What? Why?"  
"Yeah, I think we should. If we get into more blow outs than a get a gift," Buffy joked as she put the vase back on her desk. "I'll be right back; I have to go to the bathroom." Buffy said as she got up and closed her door.  
Anya sat on her bed and began to do some work when there was a knock on the door. "It's unlocked," she said as the door began to open. "What happened? Did you forget you're-you're not Buffy!" she said to the male who had entered her room.  
"Well neither are you. Do I have the right room?"  
"Yeah you do, she'll be back in a few minutes. Does she know that you are here to visit, who ever you may be?"  
"Oh, sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm-" the male was interrupted by Buffy's screeching.  
"XANDER HARRIS!!! How, why, how'd you know where I lived?" Buffy asked as she hugged her friend.  
"Your mom gave me your address and phone number. I was going to call but I figured I'd surprise you."  
"I am so surprised!!" How was Europe? Wait! Xander, this is my roommate Anya, An, this is Xander. He is an awesome friend."  
The two exchanged small talk for a few minutes. Buffy then looked at the clock. "Oh no, Xander, you have to leave."  
"What? I've been gone for four months and you can't spend five minutes with me?" He asked hurt.  
"No, I can't. You should have called first. I do have plans and a life. My life didn't stop because you were gone for four months. Really Xander, you have to leave now. We can catch up soon, really, I have planes and you have to go."  
"Buffy, are you all right?" Anya asked. She knew how much Buffy loved and respected Xander and didn't understand why she was speaking to him the way she was.  
"Yes, I AM FINE! I have plans and it appears that none of you care! I really wish you would have called! You have to go now! Go, go and visit Oz or something."  
"I don't get what has happened to you. You have changed." Xander said growing angry.  
"A lot can change in four months! Go NOW!" Buffy screamed as she opened the door for him.  
"Could you at least tell me where Oz lives?" Xander asked.  
Buffy huffed and puffed and was ready to flip out on Xander yet again when Anya stepped in. "I'll show you where he lives."  
"Thank you Anya," he said as he opened the door. On the other side of the door was a blonde haired boy about to knock.  
"And you are?" Riley asked.  
"Leaving," he said as he and Anya rushed by Riley. Xander never looked back on Buffy.  
"Was that Anya's boyfriend?" Riley asked, oblivious to the pictures of Xander that were in a frame on Buffy's dresser.  
"No, that was Xander. He-"  
"Your ex boyfriend Xander?" Riley shouted.  
"Yes. He-"  
"He was right here in your bedroom."  
"I know."  
"Right before I got here," Riley said angry  
'I know, he surprised me. He just came back from Europe and-"  
"And what? Is this some kind of joke that you are pulling on me?"  
"No Riley, of course not. H really did surprise me. My mother gave him my address." Buffy explained nervously.  
"Sure she did. You probably have known that he was heading over here."  
Buffy had tears in her eyes and began to shake her head. "No Riley, I didn't know. I promise you, I didn't know."  
Riley just looked at her with anger in his eyes. He was getting closer to her when the door opened.  
"Hey Buffy," Tara knocked as she opened the door. "Oh, I-I'm sorry. I didn't-didn't know I was interrupting."  
Riley backed off of Buffy was Tara began to close the door.  
"Tara, what did you need?" Buffy asked as she got closer to the door, wiping the tears from her eyes.  
"Be out to my car in less than five minutes," Riley said as he stormed out of the room.  
"You heard him, I only have a few minutes, and what did you need?"  
"Buffy, is everything all right between you two?"  
"OF course it is."  
"Buffy, he looked like he was going to hit you."  
Buffy froze in that moment and then gave Tara a disgusted face. "You really think I would allow myself to be manipulated by another person? Tara, I thought you knew me better. Now if you excuse me, I have to go." Buffy said as she locked her door. Tara watched Buffy disappear into the crowd of people in the hall.  
  
The Harris house. Buffy hadn't been there in months. It seemed like another life time. She walked up the stairs and rang the bell. She didn't think anyone was home because she hadn't seen any cars parked in the driveway. She was about to leave when the door opened.  
"Buffy, hi."  
"Angel? What are you doing here?"  
"I live here, remember?" He smiled as he joked around with her. "My grandmother isn't doing so well. She had a stroke and the doctors seem to think she doesn't have a whole lot of time left so I am doing all of my classes as independent studies this semester so I can help mom out. She is going to be a wreck when everything happens, so I wanted to be here for her. That's why Xander came home."  
Buffy felt bad. She knew both Angel and Xander were close to their grandmother. She then felt really bad because Xander was probably going to tell her this the other night when she exploded at him.  
"I'm sorry Angel."  
Angel sighed. "It's sad but she is eight-four. Nothing gold can last," he said quoting his favorite poem by Robert Frost. He quickly changed the subject. "What are you doing here?"  
"I came to apologize to Xander, I was a real bitch the other night and I wanted to say I'm sorry."  
"Well, he is out food shopping now. Then he's going to run a few errands. You could come in if you wanted to."  
Buffy nodded and followed Angel into his house. Nothing changed in the Harris house. Every thing was exactly how Buffy remembered it. She felt bad for not visiting Mrs. Harris while her sons were away. She mad a mental not to do that more often.  
"Can I get you something to drink? Soda, water, coffee?" Angel asked.  
"No thanks, I am all set." Buffy said as Angel sat down. "So how is Kate doing?"  
Angel shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, we broke up a few months ago. She cheated on me and that was the end. I can forgive a lot of things but not lying and cheating. Xander said you are dating someone."  
Buffy smiled. "Yeah, Riley. He is great." Buffy said as she began to brag about Riley.  
"Wow, he sounds like things that fairy tales are made out of," Angel said sipping his water.  
"Yeah, he acts like prince charming too. He is such a great guy."  
Angel stared at his water as he continued to talk to Buffy. "Does he treat you all right?"  
Buffy was furious. What had Xander made up and told Angel? "Yes, he is a great guy who treats me very well. Why do people have to question our relationship? Did Xander say anything to you about Riley? He has not right and no reason to say one word about my relationship with Riley. I'm going to kill him if he is going around lying and -"  
"WOW! Slow down! I was only asking as an overprotective friend. It was a rhetorical question. Wow! Take it easy!" Angel said. He felt uncomfortable with Buffy's rampage.  
"Sorry," she said sheepishly as she bit her bottom lip. "A lot of people seem to have their own opinions of what is happening with Riley and me and I am kind of getting sick of defending our relationship. Sorry I bit your head off."  
Angel smiled. "It's all right." He looked from his glass and into Buffy's eyes. "I just wanted to make sure you are happy."  
Buffy returned Angel's smile. "I'm very happy Angel."  
"Hey bro, care to help me bring in the groceries?" Xander yelled from the screen porch.  
"I'll help you guys," Buffy said as she followed Angel to Xander's car.  
Buffy and Xander did not exchange words. They carried the bags of food in side by side but did not speak.  
"I think I am going to shower. Buffy, it was nice seeing you again."  
"Bye Angel." She said as she watched Angel leave the kitchen. She began to unpack the bags and talk to Xander. "Listen, I am sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that. I just have so many things going through my head and-and it's no excuse, I'm sorry Xander."  
Xander stepped away from the fridge and closed its door. "I just wanted to surprise you, and talk to you to see how you have been. I've missed our chats and talks."  
"I know, I've missed our friendship too, no one can make me laugh like you do," she smiled. "Xander, I am in college now and I have a different life than high school. I am busy and I was on my way out with Riley and-"  
"The blond haired creep?"  
"He's not a creep."  
Anya had shared a few things with Xander on the way to Oz's dorm but Xander didn't want to say anything. Oz even had a few words for Buffy's beau but Xander didn't want to interfere.  
"I should have called too but I never had to do that before."  
"I know, but things have changed. We're growing up. We're adults."  
"Adults? That's kind of scary."  
Buffy smiled. She was glad that Xander forgave her. She spent hours at the Harris house. She even stayed and helped Angel and Xander make dinner for their mother.  
At nine o'clock she headed back to school. She parked her car and walked up to her room and turned the knob. Anya was sitting at her desk typing a paper.  
"Hey Anya, what's up?" Buffy asked as she placed her keys on her desk.  
"I'm all right. Do you have your cell phone?" She asked.  
"No, the battery was dead so I kept it here to charge. Why, what happened?"  
"Riley has been trying to get in touch with you," she explained as the phone rang. "That's probably him; he's been calling every hour on the hour.  
Buffy walked over and answered the phone. "Hello?"  
"Where the hell have you been? I have been calling your cell phone for hours. Your damn voicemail box is full because I left so many messages, don't you ever check it? I have called your room all day. Did Anya give you any of my messages?" Riley yelled. Buffy could tell he was on his cell phone which meant he was probably in his car on his way to the dorm.  
"Yes, I got your messages. I went and apologized to Xander for being so mean to him the other day."  
"You were at your damn ex boyfriend's house all day? That makes me feel so much better." Riley continued to yell over the phone.  
"No, he wasn't there for most of the afternoon. His brother and I were-"  
"So you were around his older brother all day? What the hell Buffy? You and I are supposed to be together."  
Good thing he didn't realize that Angel and Xander were brothers or else there would be a lot more yelling coming from Riley's mouth. "Riley, it wasn't like that at all. We-"  
Riley cut her off. "I am down the street from you. I want to see you now. Wait outside for me I will be there in a minute," he shouted.  
Buffy hung up the phone and gathered her stuff again.  
"Are you leaving?" Anya asked before Buffy had a chance to tell her that she was leaving."  
"Yeah, Riley misses me and wants to spend some time with me. I'll be really quiet when I come in. I can't wait to see him. I miss him too," Buffy smiled as she walked out of her safe heaven and into hell.  
  
At two thirty five in the morning Buffy finally made it back to Fisher Hall. She couldn't believe how long it took her to walk from the off campus frat house to campus. She was glad to finally put that night behind her.  
She quietly opened the door and grabbed her stuff to take a shower. She wanted to hurry and finish her shower and go to bed but she was in pain. Her feet had blisters all over them from walking in her platforms. She should have worn the sneakers instead but these shoes were Riley's favorites so naturally she had to wear them.  
Finally, she shut off the water and grabbed her towel. Again, she was in a lot of pain so she dried her arms and legs very carefully. She was in pain but she was relieved that the bleeding had stopped. Buffy then got dressed and walked back into her room. She put her clothes down on her chair by her desk. She shut off the desk light that Anya left on for her. Buffy unmade her bed and carefully crawled into it. After minutes of trying to find a comfortable position, Buffy began to cry softly. She was relived that Anya had slept through yet another night of coming home late with bruises all over her body. Buffy was thankful that she was struck where no one could see the bruises and the cuts, so she wouldn't have to answer any questions on how she got them.  
Meanwhile, Anya laid down in her bed, wide awake. She was as quiet as a mouse so she wouldn't alarm Buffy. She knew what had happened to Buffy and she was concerned but didn't know what to do. Buffy would never admit to what Anya was thinking. 


	21. Chapter TwentyOne

Chapter Twenty-One Author's Note: Right now I am mourning the cancellation of Angel. I don't watch that much television and now there isn't anything left to watch, grrrrrrrrrrrr....icky people at the WB. Email me if you want to know how you may help save the show (not another petition, I promise, but if you want the address to that I can give that too you too!) Anyways, thanks to Johanna, KrazyKar, Courtney, kari and lilmamaday for your kind reviews. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Thanks again for reading! LA  
  
Dawn ran out of the car and towards the building where her sister lived. "This is the coolest thing."  
William followed behind Dawn. Dawn used William's cell phone and called up to Buffy's room. "Yeah, I'll be down in a sec," she told William as she hung up the phone.  
Buffy began to race down the stairs and went outside into the warm sunlight. "Hey guys!" She said as she hugged her sister and smiled at William. "How are you?"  
"Good, can we see your room?" Dawn asked eagerly.  
Buffy smiled. "Of course, let's go up now," Buffy said as she led hr sister and William in the door and up the stairs. Neither Dawn nor William had seen Buffy since they helped her move in months earlier.  
Dawn was chit-chatting with Buffy as William just stared at Buffy. She looked different. She looked stressed and tired. He also thought she had lost some weight but of course he didn't mention anything to Buffy at that time.  
"Buffy, where is your roommate? Is she still nice? Her name is Anna right?" Dawn asked.  
"Anya, her name is Anya and she is out shopping with our friend Tara. Tara actually lives right next to us in the room to the left, but she should just move in because she is always here with us! They are both very nice." Buffy smiled. "How have you been William?" Buffy asked changing the subject.  
"I've been all right. Not too much happening now. I am going home to visit my mum in a few weeks, but nothing else." William looked around the room. He knew how much Buffy's family and friends had meant to her. They went frame shopping to find frames for all of her photographs before she went to school. He remembered it took what seemed like hours to pick out the frames and then he helped her fill each frame with a photo. As he looked around her room there were no pictures of her family or her friends. There were just pictures of her with a blonde haired man.  
Buffy smiled. "That's nice." She sat on her bed and played with Dawn's hair. She missed her sister, even if all they did was fight when they were around each other.  
"Do you guys want to grab some lunch? Your mother gave me money to take you and Dawn out." William asked.  
"Yeah, you can get away from the cafeteria food for at lest one meal," Dawn told her smiling.  
"Sure, that would be nice," Buffy said smiling again. She gathered her belongings and left with her family.  
They wound up at some little restaurant on the town's border. After everyone ordered their meal, Dawn went to the bathroom.  
"So everything at school is good?" William asked Buffy, trying to pry information out of her.  
"Yes, everything is going very well. I have great friends, I have a wonderful boyfriend and I like my classes. I have had a great freshman year so far," she smiled.  
William could see through Buffy's smile. It was weak and almost hallow. There was no substance to the smile. He didn't know which one of the things that Buffy had mentioned was bothering her, but he narrowed it down to one of them. "That's good. I didn't know you had a boyfriend. What is he like?"  
Buffy looked down at the table and nervously smiled again. "Riley is great, he really is. I love him so much. He is a junior and is in a fraternity. He is beautiful. He is just an over all great guy."  
William nodded slowly. Buffy hadn't looked him in the eye for the entire time she spoke of Riley. A flag was going off in William's head. There was just something that Buffy said about Riley that didn't make him feel well. He wanted to question things farther but Dawn was returning to the table and William didn't want Dawn to start asking questions or going back and telling Joyce about Riley.  
Dawn talked the entire lunch. She asked Buffy questions about college and what Buffy was doing. She also continued to tell Buffy stories form her school and from their house. She wouldn't stop talking. It was apparent that she too missed her sister.  
"Do you need or want to go any where before we take you back to school?" William yelled in the backseat once everyone was in the car. Buffy choose to sit in the back seat with Dawn instead of in the front with William.  
"No, I have my car at school too so I have been able to go places."  
William looked back and nodded his head as he began to drive back to Buffy's school. He didn't like the way that Buffy was acting. She wasn't herself and it truly bothered him.  
William parked the car in the lot and got out of the car. Dawn and Buffy followed. Dawn and William went back up and visited for a few more hours with Buffy. By the end of their visit Buffy was almost back to herself. She laughed with William and Dawn.  
At four-thirty William and Dawn were getting ready to leave. Their visit had come to an end. Buffy was getting ready to walk them out. She grabbed her keys and walked them out.  
"When are you coming home again?" Dawn asked.  
"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it. Why?"  
"Because I miss having you home. Can you come to visit soon?" Dawn asked as they reached the stairs to outside.  
Buffy put her arm around her sister. "We'll see what happens."  
Buffy stood in front of her sister and William. They chatted a few more minutes until it was really time for them to leave. Dawn wrapped her arms around Buffy and Buffy did the same back. "I love you so much," Buffy told dawn."  
"I know, I love you too," Dawn replied.  
Buffy then stood in front of William. "Thank you for bringing the little brat to visit me," she said smiling. Dawn knew she was just kidding.  
"No problem. Buffy," William said as he got serious. He looked her in the eyes and began to talk. "If you ever need anything, anything at all, call me. No questions asked, all right?"  
Buffy nodded her head. She didn't say anything at first to William; she just threw her arms around him. She rested her head on his shoulder. All she said to him was a whispered yes.  
"What the hell is going on here? What do you think you are doing with your arms around my girlfriend?" A man began to shout as he got out of his car. The door to his car remained wide open as he ran on the grass and over towards and William.  
Buffy quickly broke away from William and rushed towards the blond man yelling.  
"Riley, Riley, it's all right. He's just-"  
"He's just leaving I hope. What makes him think you could touch you,"  
"Riley, it's all right-"  
"Buffy," William began to speak.  
"Riley, this is William, I told you about him. He's-"  
"Just leaving. Buffy, I will talk to you soon." William said as he began to walk towards the car.  
"No, no you weren't," Riley said as he stood right next to William. He tried to take a swing at William. William ducked. The two continued to battle it out as Dawn stood next to Buffy.  
"What's going on?" She asked confused.  
"Come on, let's go to the car," Buffy said as she stopped trying to talk to Riley. Her conversation with him was just ignored anyway. She took her sister to the car and closed the door. She turned on the radio to try to muffle the sounds of the fighting.  
"Buffy, who was that? Was that your boyfriend?" Dawn asked.  
"Yeah, that's Riley."  
"I thought you said he was a good person? He is trying to beat up William! William didn't do anything! What do you think mom and dad would-"  
Buffy jumped in and interrupted Dawn. "Dawnie, you can not tell mom and dad about this!"  
"What? Why not Buffy-"  
"Dawn, please just listen to me. Mom and dad can not know, all right? If you promise me you won't say anything I'll come home and we can do whatever you want to do, all right? Please just don't tell mom and dad."  
Dawn looked at Buffy. She didn't know why Buffy was acting so weird. "Fine, but you said we could do anything."  
Buffy smiled. She didn't have a chance to say anything because her car door opened. It was William and Riley.  
"Buffy, I am so sorry. I thought William was kissing you and I flipped out. I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't realize who he was. My god, I am so sorry baby."  
Before she said anything she looked at William. William replied, "yes, it as just a big misunderstanding. We've been talking."  
Buffy got out of the car with Dawn following behind her. Riley hugged her. "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you, I promise," he said as he let go of her.  
"I think we better leave now," William said as he walked towards his car door. Dawn got back into the car after saying good bye to her sister again.  
Buffy walked over to William and apologized to him again as Riley was telling a joke and making Dawn laugh. "I'm sorry about that."  
William smiled. "It's all right, it wasn't your fault. Just promise me that you will take me up on that offer. I mean it Buffy. If you need anything, anything at all call me." William told her. He felt uneasy leaving Buffy there.  
Buffy felt uneasy being left there with Riley alone. She feared what would happen after her family left. "Yes, I promise."  
Buffy and Riley waved as William and Dawn pulled away and left. Riley faced Buffy. "I feel really badly about what happened. Let me take you out to the restaurant you like. You can get all dressed up and look really elegant. I'll come back around seven to pick you up?"  
Buffy nodded. She didn't really want to go but she was afraid of saying no. "Sure Riley, that sounds great. I'll see you then."  
  
After dinner, Riley returned back to Buffy's room. Anya and Tara had left a note saying they were going to the movies. Riley and Buffy decided to rent a movie and to have a relaxing night. Riley apologized over and over again for earlier that day. Buffy asked him if he would stop. It was over and done with and in the past.  
As they watched the movie, they snuggled in the comfort of each other's arms. Riley was the first to fall asleep. Buffy stopped watching the movie and just thought about the day and the event that had happened. She didn't understand Riley and his thought process at all. There was no reasoning with him at all.  
  
"Hello?" Buffy said as she answered the phone. It was nine-thirty the following morning when the phone woke her up.  
"Buffy, hi. It's me," said Xander. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I wanted to call and let you know that my grandmother passed away last night."  
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said as she got out of bed and walked into the hall way. She didn't want to disturb Riley who was still sleeping. "Xander, I'm so sorry. How are you doing? And your mom and Angel how are they?"  
"I'm all right. I was at home. Mom and Angel were at her house with her when she died. They are both sleeping now. I just wanted to call and let you know."  
"Thanks for calling Xander. Is there anything I can do for you?"  
"Well, do you think you could come to the wake and the services after? It's going to be so hard to be around mom, she has been such a mess."  
"Of course I'll be there. Do you need anything at all?"  
"No, I think I am going back to bed too. I'll call you when the arrangements have been made. Thanks Buff."  
"No problem Xander. I'll talk to you soon then. Bye." Buffy said as she hung up her phone. She felt bad for him and there was nothing she could physically do for him.  
She opened the door quietly and hung up her phone and crawled back into bed quietly so she wouldn't wake up Riley.  
Riley turned and looked at her. He had been awake. The phone had woke him up. "Is everything all right?" He asked as he put his arms around Buffy.  
"Xander's grandmother died last night."  
"That sucks," Riley said as he sat up. "So why did you call you?"  
"Because I knew her and because he asked me if I would be there for him with the services and stuff. I wonder how his mom is doing. She must be a mess."  
"And you told him you couldn't, right?"  
"No, I told him whatever he needed. I would do for him and his family. I have explained this Xander thing to you. We have a close relationship. He is like a brother to me."  
"So you've said. It just seems like you have a lot of those honorary brothers," Riley said as he pulled on his jeans.  
"It's not my fault I'm close to him and William like that. They are good people. Anyway, I'll be going home soon for a few days and I thought I'd tell you."  
Riley finished dressing and kissed Buffy's cheek. "Sure, whatever. I have to get going. I'll talk to you later baby."  
"All right, bye sweetie," She said as he closed the door and left her building.  
  
"Hello?" Buffy said as she answered the phone. She was in the middle of writing a big paper for one of her classes.  
"Hi Buffy," William said on the other end of the line. "Did Xander call you?"  
"Hey William. Yes, Xander did call me. I'll be coming home for a few days soon. It's so sad."  
"Yeah it is sad," he answered back. The death of Xander's grandmother wasn't the real reason why William was calling. He wanted to make sure Buffy was all right. "Listen Buffy, I don't know how to bring this up but, is everything all right with you?"  
Buffy was confused. "Yes, I am fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?"  
"It's just, well, you acted a little different yesterday. You also look like you've lost a lot of weight. I could be away off base here but it seemed like you were just different. You are all right, aren't you? You know you could tell me anything."  
Buffy was sick and tired of this spiel. Everyone and their mother seemed to have an opinion about how Buffy was acting. "William, I am fine, I promise. Thanks for your concern but I am fine. Things with Riley are fine. He took me out for this great dinner and he talked last night until we fell asleep and he wouldn't stop apologizing about what happened between you guys yesterday. Things are fine."  
William nodded his head on the other end of the phone. He thought it was funny how she mentioned Riley as soon as he asked if she was all right. He wanted to do something but didn't know what to do. "All right. I'm sorry I bothered you with this but I had to make sure. I'll talk to you soon."  
"All right William. Thank you for being honest with me. I'll see you in a few days. Bye," Buffy said as she hung up the phone. 


	22. Chapter twentytwo

Chapter Twenty-Two  
  
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in this posting. It's been a very long few weeks. Plus, I am in love and am just getting over the high of a concert I went to the other night, Josh Groban! Oh my goodness! That boy can sing and looked very very beautiful on the Wang Theatre Stage in Boston. It was such an amazing show and not what I was expecting at all. He was probably the best performer I have seen in concert. Amazing, check him out if you can.  
Anyway, let's get on to business. Thank you lilmamaday, Kari, Kristine, and Courtney for your reviews. I hope you guys like this chapter! Enjoy! LA   
  
It was late. Buffy was supposed to leave at nine in the morning. She woke up at nine thirty. She was going to be late. At ten-thirteen Buffy grabbed her keys and ran out of her room.  
Buffy ran out of the front door and towards her car. She hurried towards the car.  
"Oh, not today," she said out loud. She looked at her car. Three of the four tires were slashed. The windows were all smashed into the car. Her car stereo was stolen. She ran back into school and began to cry. Who would do something like this to her?  
"Back all ready?" Anya asked her roommate as she walked through the door. Anya's eyes left the book she was reading and she looked at Buffy. "What's the matter? Are you all right?"  
"My car is completely ruined. Someone vandalized it last night and I was supposed to be home a while ago," Buffy explained as she turned hr attention towards her phone. She had reached Riley's voicemail. "Hi Riley, it's me. I was just wondering if you were going to be around like now. My car was vandalized and I really need to get home for the wake. All right, I'll talk to you later." Buffy said as she hung up the phone.  
"What are you going to do? Who can you call?" Anya asked knowing that the only person who had a car in her circle of friends was Buffy.  
"I don't know. I haven't spoken to Oz in a few weeks so I couldn't call him and obviously Xander can't pick me up, he's busy. I guess I can call my parents, or William," Buffy thought out loud. She had remembered that William told her to call him if she needed anything.  
"Hello?" said the voice on the other end of the line.  
"You are just the person I was hoping would answer," Buffy told William.  
"Buffy, what are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be at the funeral home in a bit?" William asked.  
"Yes, I'm having a bit of car trouble, could you pick me up?" She asked not wanting to bother him.  
"Of course, I'll be there soon."  
"Thanks William."  
"No problem. See you soon."  
  
"Thanks William for picking me up, I appreciate it," Buffy told him as they pulled into the driveway of her home.  
"I told you if there was anything I could do for you I'd be glad to do it," William explained as he took the keys out of the car.  
He helped Buffy get her belongings out of the trunk and then carried them into the house with them.  
"Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry about your car but the auto club will pick it up today and have it fixed in no time," Joyce said as she greeted her daughter at the door. "Dinner is almost ready. Your father is picking up Dawn from soccer and then we'll leave to go to the wake."  
Buffy smiled. "Great, I guess I'll get ready," She said as she climbed the stairs. She reached the top and went into her bathroom. She just sat on the toilet seat. She was in pain. She was healing from a few nights ago. Her legs were all bruised as well as her back. She had really taken a beating on that night. After that riley promised her that he wouldn't touch her like that again. He had kept his word too, at least for the duration of those few days. She quickly washed her face and put on fresh make-up. She brushed her teeth and left the bathroom.  
"Honey, could you bring my purse downstairs please?" Joyce asked from the bottom of the stair case.  
"Of course mom. I'll be right down," Buffy said as she walked back into her mother's room. She sat on the bed for a minute. Her back was really hurting her. She started to cry.  
"Buffy, are you all right?" William asked as he left his room and entered Joyce and Rupert's room.  
Buffy quickly wiped her eyes. "I'm fine. I fell in the parking lot the other day and think I may have hurt my back. It just really hurts."  
"Do you want some medicine for it?"  
"No, it's nothing like that. It's just bruised so it's healing, but it hurts. Here it is," she said as she reached over and grabbed her mother's purse. "You are on Dawn duty, right?"  
"Yes, I'm watching her tonight." William said as he studied Buffy limping. She just wasn't herself.  
"You guys will have fun. She's a good kid," she smiled. "I have to get this down to mom." She said as she walked down the stairs. She wanted to turn around and tell William to stop staring at her but she didn't want to deal with him.  
William watched Buffy as she walked down the stairs. She struggled with some steps. She sped up once Joyce met her at the bottom of the stairs. Buffy began to talk about her classes with her mother and William watched. It was all an act, he knew that, but there was nothing he could do.  
  
"Thank you for coming tonight. I know it was last minute and you must be really busy since it's the end of the semester." Xander said as he joined Buffy outside.  
"Xander, you don't have to thank me. Plus, it's not like you could have planned this or anything like that."  
"I know, I just appreciate you being here. I know there are other thing you could be doing, that's all."  
Buffy rested her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her waist. "I would do anything that I could for you Xander, you are my best friend."  
"I know. I am thankful to have you as a friend. I really am. When are you heading back to school?"  
"Tomorrow afternoon, after the services."  
"Tomorrow? That doesn't' give us any time to catch up or anything like that."  
"Well, William is driving me back tomorrow after the services. My car got trashed. Plus I have to," Buffy stopped. She looked at her hands folded in front of her. She wanted to tell Xander Riley wanted her back at school tomorrow afternoon but didn't want to say anything to him. She then changed her focus to Angel. She watched him though the window. He looked stressed out and tired. She hadn't talked to him on that night. She had arrived with her parents and Xander pulled her away because he needed time away from his family.  
"But I'll be back in a week and a half, it's almost winter break. Then you'll have me home for a whole month. We can do lots of Xander and Buffy things together, and Willow. Will will be back too. It'll be just like how things where last year."  
Xander nodded his head in agreement. Hi friend was hurt, he could see that. He wished that she hadn't put her pain aside so she could take on his pain too. Xander wanted her to open up about her pain, but she didn't want to do that and he didn't' want to pry. He just nodded his head and agreed with her but he knew that things could never be like they were in the old days.  
Buffy walked Xander back into the funeral home. She gave his mother a hug and chatted with her for a few minutes. She really liked Mrs. Harris. She missed her too. She was going to give Angel her condolences too but he was nowhere to be found. She said her prayers for Xander's grandmother in front of the casket and found her parents. They left soon after that.  
Later that night at dinner Joyce noticed that Buffy wasn't eating anything. She was just playing with her food.  
"Honey, what's wrong?"  
"Uh? What? Oh, nothing is wrong. I'm just thinking, that's all."  
"Sweetheart, you have to eat something. You have lost so much weight since you have been at school. I thought you were supposed to gain the freshman twenty? You've lost twenty pounds. If you loose any more we won't be able to see you," Joyce smiled as she took a bite of her pasta.  
William and Dawn just exchanged looks. They hadn't realized how much weight she had actually lost until Joyce made the comment.  
"Mom, I haven't lost weight, what are you talking about? And I do eat, ask Anya. I'm just not that hungry. We did just get back from a wake. Maybe we should have asked the Harris' if they wanted anything to eat. We should have had them over for dinner. Mrs. Harris looked so sad." Buffy told her mother as she tried to change the subject.  
"I asked them and they said they had food at their house. You know, I remember when your grandfather died I was with him and I wasn't able to hold myself together as well as Barbra is," Joyce began to tell the members of her family at the dinner table. Buffy was relieved that the focus was changed from her to something else.  
After dinner, Buffy excused her self and went to her room. She laid down on her bed and was so comfortable. She quickly changed into her pajamas and found her journal. She was writing in it when there was a knock at the door.  
"Come in," she answered.  
"Hello sweetheart, how are you?" Rupert asked as he entered Buffy's room.  
"I'm tired. It's the end of the semester and things are crazy. I have a paper due here and a test there; it's just very stressful right now. How are you?"  
"I'm good. Things at my school have been crazy too. Did I tell you that I got a promotion? I'm a guidance counselor now."  
"That's great." She said as she hugged her father.  
"Don't you have time to eat at school? You're all skin and bones."  
"Oh no, not you too."  
"No, I'm just teasing you. You look great. You look like you want to go to bed, so I'll leave you to rest. We have to get up early tomorrow. I'll tell your sister to be quiet when she comes in to go to bed. I love you sweetheart."  
"I love you too dad, good night," Buffy smiled as he walked out the door.  
Buffy was ready for bed when there was another knock at the door. William walked into her room.  
"Rupert said you were going to bed so I wanted to say good night, and that I am glad that you are home. It's been lonely taking care of the little brat by myself," he said referring to Dawn of course.  
Buffy chuckled. "She can be a pest sometime. Nah, she's a good kid, she is a lot nicer than I was, especially to dad."  
William returned her laugh. Silence filled them. He was the first to break the silence.  
"Look, I'm only going to ask you one more time and then I promise I won't ask you again. You are the closest thing that I have to a sister, both you and Dawn. I really love you two like that and I don't want to see anything happen to you."  
"Thanks William, I think that way of you, except as a brother of course. I don't think of you as a sister," she said offering a smile.  
William ignored the smile and continued. "I'm going to ask you out point blank. Does your little sweetie pie hit you?"  
"What?" She asked in disbelief.  
"Does Riley hit you?"  
"No! Why would you think that? He would never lay a finger on me like that, he really loves me William. He shows it all the time. He is always taking me out and buying me nice things. Look at this necklace," she said as she grabbed her necklace form under her shirt. "He bought this for me a few weeks ago just because he wanted to. Isn't it nice?"  
William nodded. He could tell Buffy was lying through her teeth but there was nothing he could do about it. He knew Buffy would never admit to it. "All right, I told you I wouldn't bug you about it, so I won't. Good night," he sad as he smiled.  
"Good night. Oh William thanks for looking out for me. I love having you in my life." She told him as he left the room.  
William closed the door quietly and was interrupted by Dawn. She stood across from the door to Buffy's room. Her hands were crossed and she looked angry.  
"Did she say anything?"  
Knowing how much Dawn wanted Buffy to admit what was going on with Riley William was speechless. He just shook his head.  
  
"Thanks for taking the time from school to come," Mrs. Harris said as she hugged Buffy at the gathering after the funeral.  
"It was no problem Mrs. Harris. Your mom was a really nice person."  
The two shared chit-chat for a few more minutes. Mrs. Harris then walked away to interact with other people.  
Buffy was alone. Her parents were mingling with friends of theirs at the party while William, who had just met Angel that morning, was chatting with him on the other side of the room. Xander was laughing with his cousins. She was relived to have just a few minutes for herself.  
"You know that Angel guy is really nice. We're going out for drinks later in the week." William said.  
"Yeah, he is nice." Buffy thought about how she hadn't had a chance to talk with Angel the entire time she was there. "We can leave whenever you are ready to."  
"Buffy, hi, can I talk to you for a minute?" Xander said as he snuck up from behind her.  
"Yeah, I guess so."  
"Good, I have to get back to school. I have so much work to do. Let me say good bye to Xander, then we can leave."  
Buffy walked across the room and interrupted Xander and his cousins.  
  
"Hi Xander, I have to take off now, I just wanted to say good bye."  
Xander excused himself and followed Buffy to a quiet part of the hall. "I wish you could stay longer. I really miss you."  
"I miss you too, but like I told you last night, I will be back home really soon and then we can hang out."  
"I know, I know."  
"But if you need anything, please let me know." She told him. "I love you Xander Harris and I'll see you soon." She said as she hugged him.  
"I love you too, thank you for everything," Xander said as he gently hugged her back.  
  
"Are you sure there is nothing else that you need?" William asked as he pulled into the parking lot of her school.  
"I can't think of anything. Thank you for everything, I appreciate it," she told William as he parked in the parking lot. She quickly gathered her belongings. "I'll see you soon!" She said as she slammed the car door and walked briskly to her dorm. She didn't even give William the time to say good-bye.  
She ran into her room and was glad that Anya wasn't in the room. She checked her voice mail on her cell phone.  
"You have thirty-eight new messages. Your mail box is full. To check you r messages press," Buffy heard the recorded voice say. She listened to all of her messages. They were all from Riley. He went from sounding irritated, to angry to furious.  
She walked over to her phone to call him. She was relieved when she realized that he was in class. She would have a little time before she faced Riley. 


	23. Chapter TwentyThree

Chapter Twenty-Three  
  
Author's Note: Big thank yous to Johanna, TinkerbellRox, lilmamaday, Nastyubervamp (I loved the comment about the rubber duck....it was too funny!), Gabrielle and Courtney23 for reading the story and for the really nice reviews! I hope you all enjoy the story and continue to leave really thoughtful and kind reviews!  
I would also like to give a warning: there is really mild violence mentioned in this chapter as well as rape. It isn't anything major but I wanted to give a warning just incase anyone is really sensitive about that subject.  
Enough said...let's get on with the show.....enjoy!  
  
"One whole month! What will you do with yourself at home for one whole month?" Buffy asked Riley as she laid down on his bed. Riley continued to pack. He was leaving in just a few hours to catch his flight to Boston.  
"I don't know. I'll probably do some skiing with my high school friends. Mom talked about visiting some family up in Maine. I'm not sure," he said as he folded a shirt. He placed the shirt in his suitcase and looked up at Buffy. "You know the offer still stands. You could come home with me." Riley suggested again.  
After the funeral of Xander's grandmother, Riley was infuriated with Buffy. She arrived back at school over two hours later than he expected her to be. Once Riley met up with his girlfriend, he showed her just how angry he was. Riley used Buffy's stomach as a punching bag and struck her again and again in her gut. When he became tired of punching her he threw her up against the wall a few times holding on to her tiny arms ever so tightly. In less than a day her stomach and arms bruised.  
Two days after she was attacked, Riley apologized to her. He explained to Buffy that he loved her and didn't know what came over him sometimes. Then he promised her that he would get help for his problem back home. He also had promised her that he would stop hitting her.  
Being the caring and sensitive person that she was, Buffy forgave him. After all, she believed that it was her causing everything. If she hadn't made Riley angry with her, then she would have never been hit.  
Riley kept his promise about not hitting her for the remainder of the semester. He hadn't hit or punched her at all. He did, however, force Buffy, the woman who claimed to love to have sex. Buffy would never consider Riley's actions that night to be rape because she knew Riley and was in a relationship with him. She figured even though he tore her shirt and bra and forced himself on her that it still wasn't rape.  
Buffy loved Riley but the last few weeks of the semester were very emotional. She needed a break from him and their relationship. She was glad to have a break from Riley.  
"Riley, you know I would love to go with you and meet your family but I can't. My mother would freak out, especially with it being the holidays and all."  
"Will you see your friends at home?" Riley asked as he zipped up his last suitcase.  
A smile found its way to Buffy's mouth. "Yes. I am picking Willow up a few days before Christmas. I haven't seen her since August and I miss her so much. Xander and I are going Christmas shopping together in couple of days."  
Ignoring what Buffy's happiness and what she had explained to him, Riley changed the subject completely. "I have something for you."  
"But we exchanged gifts last night. You gave me that bracelet."  
"Yeah, but I left the big one for now," he said as he sat with her on his bed. He pulled a little red velvet box out of his pants pocket. Buffy's jaw dropped to the ground.  
"This isn't what you think it is, well, it is, sort of. Here, let me put this on your finger," Riley said with a grin on his face. He slipped the ruby and diamond ring onto Buffy's left ring finger. "It's a promise ring. I love you Buffy Giles and I want to spend my entire life with you. I think we are too young to get engaged officially but I wanted to show you some how. Think of this has a pre-engagement ring." Riley explained as he kissed Buffy's lips softly. "I love you."  
Buffy returned his kiss. "I love you too."  
Riley pulled himself away only seconds later. "I have to get going. I'll give you lift back to your dorm." He told her as he stood up and gathered his bags and walked out of his room.  
Riley did drive Buffy back to her room as he promised. The couple shared one last kiss before Buffy got out of Riley's car and walked up the stairs to her dorm. She turned to wave good-bye to Riley but he was out of site.  
Buffy climbed the stairs in her building and walked towards her room. She had hoped that she hadn't missed Anya and Tara. They were traveling to the airport together.  
"Good, I didn't miss you," Buffy as the two girls sat in her room.  
"We didn't' think we were going to see you before we left," Tara smiled as Buffy sat down on her bed.  
"Yeah, we still haven't exchanged our gifts yet," Anya chimed in.  
"Oh, that's right, let me get yours," Buffy said as she stood up and walked to her closed. She pulled out two holiday gift bags. She had bought Anya a cd she wanted as well as a small purse. Tara received a few candles and body lotion from the Body shop.  
The two girls thanked Buffy as Anya reached for a medium size bag. "This is from both of us."  
Buffy reached into the bag and unwrapped the tissue paper of the first item. She found a red leather journal within the tissue paper. On the inside cover was a note written by Tara. It read: Buffy, Happy holidays! We bought you this book so you would have a place to express yourself when you don't want to talk to anyone. We both care about you and love you. You have been such a wonderful friend to us. Buffy, you are going places in this world. You just have to find the courage and take your place in it. Have a wonderful rest during break, you deserve some you time. See you next year (I know, it was a bad joke!) Love you lots, Tara and Anya.  
Just as Buffy was going to thank her friends, a little envelope fell out of the pages of the journal. Buffy opened it and found a fifty dollar gift card to a book store. Both Anya and Tara were hoping she would by books on women and abuse. They realized that Buffy didn't think of the card as anything more than a gift.  
"Thank you guys so much! I love the journal, it's so beautiful," Buffy beamed as she hugged both Anya and Tara as a cab outside pulled up to the front of the building and beeped it's horn.  
"That's our ride," Tara said.  
"We'd better get going. We don't want to be late for our flights," Anya added as she began to pick up her bags.  
"Do you need any help?" Buffy offered.  
"I think we are all set but thank you," Tara smiled. "Have a great break Buffy."  
"Thanks you too, both of you," Buffy said as she returned Tara's smile.  
Tara and Anya both made their way down the stairs and then outside and into their cab. They waved to Buffy. Buffy continued to wave until the cab drove down the street and she could no longer see her friends.  
  
"Will! Willow! Over here," Buffy shouted as she saw her red headed friend. Willow approached Buffy and hugged her. "You look so good Will!"  
Willow thought that Buffy had looked so different than the last time she saw her. She looked old and tired and she looked like she had lost so much weight. Oz warned Willow about Buffy's appearance but she was still surprised. "It's great to see you too. You look so great too," she lied to her friend.  
Buffy smiled. "We have so much to catch up on. You have to tell me about the east coast. How's Boston? Do you like it there?"  
Willow and Buffy began to walk over to retrieve Willow's luggage as Willow began to answer Buffy's questions. "I like it a lot. When I left Boston they had over a foot of snow. It was so much to play in! It's such a pretty place and full of so much history. I got put into upper classmen housing. I live in the middle of the theater district. My apartment over looks Boston Common, it's a park in the middle of the city. It's so nice. My roommate is a freshman too and is really cool. Her name is grace. You have to come and see it."  
"That sounds really great. I would love to see it." Buffy commented.  
"Well, Oz is coming out there in March to visit, during your spring break. You have spring break on a different day than us. Anyways, you could always come out and visit with him."  
As Willow reached over to retrieve her luggage, Buffy thought about Oz. He was pretty mad at that she didn't attend any of his major concerts. Riley didn't want Buffy to go so she obeyed him. Oz finally saw Buffy and blew up at her. He told her that he didn't want to speak to her again and he hadn't. It made Buffy sad to think about her oldest friend.  
"Hmmmm, maybe, we'll have to wait and see. Hey Wills, I am parked on the third level," Buffy said as she changed the subject. She didn't want to think about Oz any more.  
  
"You have the number of out hotel, right?" Joyce asked as she picked up her purse.  
"Yes mom. You left it on my nightstand, on your nightstand, on the refrigerator door and in my wallet, remember?" Buffy answered.  
"And in case of an emergency?" Joyce questioned her daughter.  
"Call nine-one-one and then call you and then call Faith so she can handle things immediately," Buffy snapped back with an attitude. Joyce, Rupert and Dawn all had grown close to Faith and her family while Buffy was at college. Conner even addressed Joyce and Rupert as aunt and uncle. Buffy also knew that her parents had helped out Faith and Amy since Amy had recently lost her job. Money had been extremely tight Joyce and Rupert stepped in to help Faith and Amy figure out a budget. To be certain that Faith and her family had a good holiday season, the Giles' had also given Faith money. Dawn told Buffy this on Christmas night. It made Buffy happy that her family was helping Faith through a tough time but it also made her sad. She was sad because she hadn't come home often during the semester and she missed the bonding with Faith.  
"All right young lady. I was just making sure you knew. There is no need to take that tone with me," Joyce told her eldest daughter.  
"I know. I am sorry. I guess I'm just nervous about having everyone coming over tonight for New Year's Eve. This is going to be the first time we all have been together since graduation," Buffy explained to her mother."  
"I understand," Joyce sympathized with her daughter before continuing. "We are only going to be a few hours away so don't hesitate calling if you need us."  
Buffy smiled. "Don't worry. You and dad have fun tonight. You'll see you tomorrow night," Buffy said as she hugged her mother. 


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

                                                            Chapter Twenty-Four

            Author's Note: Thanks to Kristine for the review.   I think I figured out a format that makes the chapter easier to read, let's see if it works!  Let me know what you guys think of it.

            Anyway, I was procrastinating this morning.  Instead of finishing a paper for a class on Thursday I wrote another chapter.  I hope you all enjoy.  More is on the way soon!  Thanks again for reading!  LA 

            It was eleven-forty-three in the morning on New Year's Day.  William walked through the front door of the Giles' house.  He looked into the family room and saw four empty sleeping bags.  It looked weird to him.  "Hello?  Anyone home?"

            Just then Dawn emerged from the dining room.  "William, your home! How was England?"  Dawn inquired as she offered him a hug.

            "It was nice.  Christmas was good.  Dawn, what's with the sleeping bags?  Did you have a sleep over?"

            "Yes, with Xander and Willow and Buffy.  We just got up.  Well, at least the three of them did.  Everyone is in the kitchen, come on," Dawn explained cheerfully.

            William walked into the kitchen with Dawn.  He saw Buffy with two of her friends sitting at the table.

            "Hi William, happy New Year," Buffy told him as she hugged him.

            "Happy New Year," he said as he returned her hug.  Her petite body felt smaller than the last time he hugged her.

            "I was on my way to take a shower but when I come back down I want to hear all about your trip.  Will you tell me about it later?"  Buffy asked pulling out of their hug.

            "Yes, of course," William agreed.

            Buffy smiled as she left the room. Xander, Willow, William and Dawn made small talk until William heard the shower go on.

            "What the bloody hell is wrong with her? She's so thin, she's all skin and bones," William expressed his concern.

            "And she has so many bruises all over her body.  I saw them when she was changing the other night," Dawn added.

            "Is this still from him?  Riley?  Is he _still_ doing this to her?"  Xander chimed in.

            "Wait, Riley her boyfriend?"  Willow dumbfoundly questioned.

            "Yeah her boyfriend," Dawn answered her.

            "Xander," William began to talk, "I think you're right.  I just wish we had some proof."               

            "What if we talk to her?"  Willow asked.

            "No, it won't work.  She is always smiles when she talks about him," William answered.

            "I got it!" Xander exclaimed as he bolted out of his chair.  "What if _we_ talk to her?"

            "What?" Dawn and Willow both sighed.

            Before Xander had a chance to explain, William jumped in almost angry.  "What the hell?  Aren't we listening to us?"

            Wait, calm dawn for a minute.  Why don't we do an intervention type of thing?"  Xander began to explain.

            "An intervention?" Dawn questioned.

            "Yes.  We can each talk to her about particular things.  This way it shows we all care about her."  Xander added.

            "Don't you think she'd think we were ganging up on her?"  Willow asked.

            "Red is right," William began to say.  "But I for one don't care if she thinks we're ganging up on her.  She needs to hear this.  I don't think this is a bad idea."

            "Let me call Oz, he'll want to help out," Willow said as she grabbed the phone to call him.

            Dawn hurried up to her room and grabbed pens and some paper.  Each person outlined what they wanted to tell Buffy. Lucky for them she was still in the shower and always took a long time to shower, dress and to dry her hair.

            Willow placed her call to Oz first.  He at first didn't want anything to do with the idea.  He was still hurt over Buffy not making the time for their friendship.  Then Willow began to explain how Buffy looked and about how Dawn saw bruises all over her.  Oz then felt guilty for alienating his friend. It was clear to him that his life long friend was definitely being battered. He agreed to work on his part and be at the meeting.

            Oz arrived between the time Buffy finished showering and drying her hair.  Without going into too much detail, everyone briefly said what they were going to discus with Buffy.  Every single one of them knew that no matter how much they practiced their little speeches no one had a clue to how Buffy would react.

            William sat alone in the family room and waited until Buffy came down the stairs. Everyone else was in the dining room.

            "Hey," Buffy said as she sat on the other end of the couch.

            "Hi," William simply replied.

            "Where is everyone?"  Buffy asked.

            "They are in the dinning room.  They-we all would like to talk to you about something," William honestly told her.

            "All right," Buffy slowly commented.  "Is everything all right?"

            "I guess we're about to find out," William answered as they entered the dining room.

            Buffy was a little shocked to see Oz sitting in a chair in her dining room.  The last time they spoke involved a lot of yelling, crying and more screaming.

            "What's going on?"  Buffy questioned.  "Is it mom and dad?  Are they all right?"

            "Joyce and Rupert are fine," William said looking at the floor.  He then looked up and into Buffy's eyes.  "This isn't about them, it's about you."

            "Me?"

            "Yes, you," Xander jumped in calmly.  

            "All right, what about me?"  

            "Buffy," Willow began, "we are all a little worried about you."

             "Why?"

            Silence filled the entire house.  No one wanted to start first.  Everyone looked at their pieces of paper.

            "I guess I'll go," Oz volunteered.  He took a deep breath and began.  "You haven't been yourself lately, well, since school started.  You don't go out anywhere with out Riley any more.  Buffy, you have been my best friend since what seems like the beginning of time and you were always there for me.  You haven't been there at all.  I have had some pretty important things happen and you just haven't showed any interest in it and you know it hurts," Oz stopped for a moment.  "But this isn't about me, it's about you.  You're not acting like yourself. "

            "I'm confused," Buffy said.  "Why aren't I acting like myself?"

            "Let me try," Xander said shifting from Oz's concerns to his own.  "You have also been a really great friend to me.  You have been there for me since you moved here.  I think I know you pretty well, as does everyone in this room.  I have also noticed you acting different and very un-Buffy like.  Remember when I came home from Europe?  Remember I showed up to your dorm and you went all crazy on me?  You screamed and yelled at me and didn't treat me very nicely."

            "But I apologized for that."  Buffy began to defend herself.

            "You did, but that still isn't the way you act, it's just not in your nature to act meanly.  After my grandmother was buried you left in a hurry and really just made an appearance at the reception afterwards.  I understand that you have school and you have a life outside of Sunnydale, but that isn't the way you act.  You are a very caring and sensitive person, you don't act like that, and it's not part of who you are."

            Before Buffy had a chance to say anything to Xander, Willow started her part.  "Hey, I'm not going to jump into this conversation and say you have been acting this and that way.  I don't know how you are acting.  I've been on the other side of the country. We went from talking every other day to just a couple times a month.  We have both been busy.  We are in college; we are out experiencing things and living life.  I can say that your tone in your voice has gone from being very cheerful and upbeat to always so sad.  You never tell me what is going on in your life.  You always change the subject back to me or have to get going then.  I want you to know that I lied to you when I got off the plane last week. I told you that you looked really good.  Buffy, you don't look good.  You look sickly thin and so tired.  I am really worried about you."

            Tears were forming in Buffy's eyes.  Her face turned red.  "Really, there is no reason to worry about me.  I am perfectly fine," she said offering a smile.

            "Buffy," William started.  "When I first came to Sunnydale last summer you were so much to be around.  We had so much fun together.  Remember the trips to the beach and out to the bars?  Remember the last time?"  He asked referring to the time when Buffy had gotten drunk.  She was so embarrassed over that.  A smile found its way to Buffy's face as she looked at the floor.  No one else in the room knew what they were talking about but that was fine with him.  He didn't have a long history with her like her sister and friends had.  He had only seven months with her. 

            "We had fun," she answered.

            "Yes, we did.  I remember right before you moved into school.  You told Rupert and your mum that you weren't excited about college but you told me you couldn't wait and you had all of these expectations."  William paused looked at his folded hands and then looked Buffy directly in the eyes.  "Where did that girl go?  You aren't excited over things any more.  You look like you are in pain and like Willow said; you have lost so much weight.  I can think of one thing that has made you feel this way."

            "And what is that?"  Buffy asked.

            Silence filled the house.  Again, William looked at his folded hands.  Still looking at his hands, he replied.  "Riley."

            Buffy started laughing.  "Riley!  You think Riley has done this to me?  How would he possible make me loose weight and make me look so tired?"

            "By hitting you."  Dawn said quietly but loud enough for everyone to hear.

            "What?  Dawn where did you-"

            "I saw the marks Buffy.  I saw the bruises on your stomach and arms and back.  When you were changing in my room and talking to me.  I saw your face in the mirror.  You looked like you were in so much pain and-" Dawn paused for a second.  She had tears forming in her eyes but she held them back.  She shifted the subject a little.  "The way he treated you when William and I were at your dorm.  Buffy, he went crazy.  He was going to hit William."

            Buffy was silent for a minutes.  She saw how upset her sister was.  She then walked over to her sister and hugged her. "Hey, Dawnie, Riley wouldn't hit me.  He was going to hit William because he thought William was hurting me."

            "But Buffy he was yelling at you and-"

            "He was yelling at me because he was caught up in the excitement of what was happening.  He thought I was being hurt."  Buffy explained.

            "Buffy, Anya told me that she hears you at night crying.  She has seen your bed the next morning with blood on the sheets," Xander jumped in to save Dawn who was about to loose her composure.

            "Xander, Anya doesn't like Riley; she would say anything for people not to like him.  Let me straighten things out right now before this gets back to my parents.  I am tired because I am so busy.  I have classes all day and then I tutor and I have my committees that I belong to.  When I am not on the run, I like to go to the gym and keep my body in shape.  Then, with what little time I have I divide my time between school work and spending time with Riley.  I am never in my room and I am always on the go.

            "The loosing weight part of your concerns can be explained simply.  I walk to all of my classes. As Oz can tell you some of those buildings are pretty spread apart.  I walk everywhere and I forget to eat sometimes.  The food is so bad at school.  Really, you can't even tell the difference between a veggie burger and a hamburger, it's so bad, ask Oz," she said as she laughed.  Then she looked at Oz. 

            "Oz, I am sorry I haven't been there for your performances or for any of the things happening in your life right now.  I know some pretty big and important things have happened at these concerts.  Every night of one of your performance I have had a major project due the next day.  Most of the projects are oral presentation so I have to rest.  I am really over whelmed by my school work.  I'm sorry.  If you allow me to, I will try to go see you over break if you are performing.

            "Dawn, didn't Riley apologized over and over again to you and William for the way he acted?  He didn't mean to get so angry. I can't believe you guys think that Riley is hitting me!  Do you think I'd just sit there and take someone hitting me again and again and again?  I don't think so.  Dawn the bruises that you saw was from slipping on the stairs of Riley's frat house.  I fell down basement stairs.  They are wooden and not sanded right and that's were all of those ugly marks from my back came from.

            "You guys don't know anything about Riley.  He is a great person.  He volunteers with under privileged kids.  He is a big brother in the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program.  Last summer he was in some third-world country helping them build a school.  He went with his church.  His family is ultra-conservative.  These don't sound like characteristics of an abuser, do they?"

            Silence filled the room as Buffy continued to keep her calm composure.  Thank you all for being so concerned.  I appreciate it.  I want to ask you all not to say anything to my parents.  I don't want thoughts put into their heads."  She paused for a minute as she looked at the clock.  One-twenty-three.  "I am going to the store to pick up some things that mom wants for dinner, I'll be back in a bit," She said as she stood up, grabbed her purse and walked out the door.

            "That went well," Xander mumbled.


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

                                                            Chapter Twenty Five

            Author's Note: Thank you to Kristine and Courtney37 for your reviews on the previous chapters.  Courtney, I am sorry you don't like where the story is going.  Please just stick with it, I promise the pace is going to change in the next few chapters.  I have the next three outlined and I am almost ready to write them (I just need to procrastinate more with my school work so I can write them out!).  Thanks for the feedback.

            Enjoy! LA

            Buffy got into her car and rested her head on the steering wheel.  Tears began to escape from her green eyes. She was emotionally wiped out after the confrontation that she had with her friends. She honestly wanted to admit that yes Riley was hitting her and hurting her but she couldn't.  Buffy thought that Riley would get into so much trouble.  Then, after he got into trouble without a doubt he would come after her.  She couldn't say anything.           

            She picked up her head and started the car.  She pulled out of the drive way and down the street.  She really did have to run to the store for her mother but she chose not to go to the store first.  It was New Years Day and traffic was really light in town.  Buffy decided to take a walk down the shore of the beach.  She needed time to be alone to think.  With her house fill of her friends she knew she couldn't have any alone time to think.

            Her little car pulled into a parking space right next to the beach.  She watched surfers try and ride the waves for a few minutes before she got out of the car.  It was seasonably warm for January.

            Buffy decided to take her shoes off and walk along the beach.  She let the water hit her feet.  She began to think about the events in her life.  She surely believed that she did something to Riley and that she deserved to be punished for it.  She just wished that she knew what it was so she could fix it.  She didn't want him to be angry any more.  She didn't want her friends to be pre-judge him any more.  She wanted her friends to like him and understand why she loved him.

            She reflected on the many times she wanted to tell Oz she couldn't go to his shows because Riley didn't want her to and when she did try to see him she was disciplined by _him_. She wanted to tell Xander that he had to call before visiting so Riley wouldn't find out by a surprise and smack her around.  Buffy wanted to cry and tell her baby sister that she had every reason to be angry and scared with _him_.  _He_ wasn't nice to her.  She wanted to assure her friends that she was loosing weight because Riley thought she was too heavy when they began dating.  She knew she was under weight but really, she didn't want to change that.  She didn't want to make _him_ upset any more. 

            As she reflected on _him, _she looked over to that spot.  The spot where Angel used to go to get away from it all.  The place where they spent endless hours talking and laughing.  There were so many good memories sitting on the rocks.  As she looked harder there was a person standing on the rocks.  This person was throwing shells and rocks back into the ocean.  From where she was it was hard for her to determine if she knew the person until she got close to the rocks.  

            When she finally was about to walk on beyond the rocks, she noticed the figure know sitting on the rocks was actually Angel.  He was know sitting down on the rock and had his head down resting in his palms.  He looked like he was upset.

            After debating for a few seconds on whether or not to interrupt him, Buffy decided to.

            "Hi stranger, fancy meeting you here," she told him with a smile.

            He looked up slowly and nodded.  "Hi, happy new year."

             "The same to you.  Is everything all right? You looked a little stressed."

            "Yeah, everything is fine, I just made a decision today and I don't know if I made the right one.  There are so many things going on, especially in my head right now, things have just been crazy, that's all.  What about you?  What brings you to the beach?  You don't exactly look like your about to take a swim."

            Buffy walked closer to Angel and sat next to him.  "No, no swimming today for me.  I was just thinking about some things too.  Are you sure you're all right?"

            Angel leaned back and leaned back.  He was looking far into the overcast sky.  "Yeah, everything is fine.  I just decided that I am not going back to NYC."

            "What?  You love New York."

            "I do, and I love the school."

            "Then why?"

            "There are so many reasons Buffy.  Mom is still a mess about grandma passing away.  During Christmas she took out a recipe and began to cry because it was in grandma's writing.  She is having such a hard time dealing with it.  It isn't fair that Xander is the only one at home dealing with this.  I want to help her too and be there for him.  I was thinking about some things and I really think this is the best thing for right now.  I have to be there for my family"

            "What else have you been thinking about?"  Buffy asked.

            "Football.  I miss it.  I miss playing and being part of a team.  I don't have time for anything extra at NYC. I don't know, I hope I am making the right decision," Angel said as he sat up and wiped the sand off his hands.  He looked at Buffy with a half smile.  "What about you?  Are you all right?"

            Buffy looked down at the rock.  "Yes, I am very happy.  I have wonderful friends and school is going great.  I-I," she said beginning to get irritated, "I am so sick of everyone asking if I am all right!  Why don't people think I am all right?  I am fine! Go-"   

            Angel cut her off.  "All right, I am sorry I bothered asking.  I just wanted to make sure you were happy."

            Buffy was staring into the ocean.  She watched as waves crashed in to the sand.  "No, I'm sorry.  I am very happy," she said in a melancholy voice.

            "You don't sound or look it."

            "Excuse me?"

            Angel took a deep breath before continuing.  "You look like you are about to have a nervous break down and, by the way, when was the last time you ate?  You are so thin."

            Buffy was furious at that moment.  She went from watching the peaceful beach to looking Angel in the eyes. "Excuse me?"  She repeated.  "Where do you get off telling me how I look?'

            Angel looked back into Buffy's eyes.  "I-I just want to make sure that your all right.  You are a good person and I care about you.  I want to make sure that you are being treated well."  Angel said as he began to look out into the cloud again.  "Is Riley still treating you all right?"

            Buffy looked out into the same space that Angel was looking at.  Overwhelmed by her emotions, she cried.  "He treats me fine."      

            "Then why the tears?"

            Buffy tried to control herself but she couldn't any more.  "Riley is a great person, he truly is.  I do love him, but-"

            "But what?" Angel inquired.

            Tears rushed down Buffy's face.  She could no longer hold back the tears.  "But he has hit me."

            "What?"  Angel asked not really too shocked.  After all, Xander had come to speak to Angel about his suspicions and Angel had seen Buffy with his own eyes and saw the look she had in her eyes.

            "He's hit me and-and he, he has made me make love to him when I didn't want to," she explained sheepishly. 

            "He forced you to have sex?"  Angel asked a little more shocked this time.  Xander had never mentioned anything about rape.

            Buffy looked down at her folded hands and nodded.  "He told me that I was fat and I needed to loose weight if I wanted to be with him.  I exercised like crazy and went days without eating until he approved of my weight," she said a little more composed and wiping her face.  "But I don't want you to think that he is a bad person."

             "Buffy he hits you and rapes you and forced you to do things that you shouldn't have had to do."  Angel explained.

            Buffy was silent for a brief moment.  "But you should see him around the kids he works with.  He is a Big Bro-"

            "He works with children?" Angel asked very surprised.

            Buffy smiled.  "Yes, he is so great with them.  He really is a good person; I just make him angry sometimes."

            Angel shook his head.  He couldn't believe that the level headed girl he once had a relationship with was talking the way she was.  "Buffy, when someone abuses you, it isn't your fault."

             Buffy turned and looked at Angel.  "But it is.  I make him so angry sometimes.  I shouldn't. If I just knew what made him angry I just wouldn't do it any more.  I-"

            Interrupting her, Angel went on.  "Buffy, you have to do something about him.  He is hurting you."

            "He doesn't mean to.  I told you-"

            Interrupting again, Angel continued bluntly.  "Did you ever think that he may kill you some day?"

            Mortified, Buffy shook her head.  "No, no, Riley would never do that."

            "You might.  Some day one of the beatings may just go too far," Angel stopped once he saw the scared expression on her face.  He scared her.  Good.  He wanted to scare her so she would stay away from him.  He wanted her to think about every possibility in her case.  "You have to do something about this Buffy.  You have to tell someone, the police, a counselor, somebody.  You have to take charge of this before it's too late."

            Again, she just shook her head and began to cry again.  "No, I can't Angel.  If I told anyone he will hurt me more than he all ready has.  I can't tell any one."  She paused for a moment and put her hand to her mouth and cried harder. In between sobs she spoke again.  "Angel, I have told you.  You have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone.  Not to Xander, not to my parents.  You can not breathe a word of this to anyone."

            Angel moved closer to Buffy and put an arm around her.  "Why not?  Why is it so bad if you tell some one?"

            "Because he will hurt me if I do."

            Angel was torn. He didn't know what to do.  He had never been in a situation like this.  "If I promise you that I will not say anything, you have to promise me you will get some kind of help.  You have to get out of that relationship."

            "But Riley promised me that he is going to get help.  He promised."

            Again, Angel was blunt.  "Why do you choose to believe a man who beats and rape you?  Why do you think he will get help?"

            Still crying, she rested her head on Angel's shoulder.  "Because he loves me, I know he does." 

            Angel just held Buffy as she wept even more.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

                                                            Chapter Twenty-Six

            **Warning**: This chapter contains descriptions of violence.

            Author's note: Thank you Sarah, KrazyKar and Thelionssrules for your comments and feedback.

            Thelionssrules-thank you for reminding me about the rating system.  I will change that soon.  Also, thank you for all of your questions.  I will try and answer them.  First of all, Buffy has always like Riley.  Even back when she was dating Xander and Riley was at the orientation at college, she liked him.  She was putting a front on for Anya and Tara.  She looked at Riley has being a crush and not really having a chance with him because he is older and things like that.  I know when I have a crush on someone; I really don't like talking about it because it gets embarrassing.  I guess I should have been clearer with that.

             The reason why Spike and Dawn reacted the way they did with Riley was because they were counteracting with the way Buffy acted.  Think of it this way: if you have a friend who has a problem with drugs or alcohol, the first thing you want to do is get them away from the substance and get them help right away, but if the person doesn't want help and doesn't think they have a problem, there is no way that person will ever get help.  

            Also, Buffy chose to be in this relationship because she liked Riley, then she began to care about him before she thinks she fell in love with him.  She is like so many abuse victims.  No matter how strong of a person you are, some times it takes some time to over come something.  Also, like victims, she truly believes that she has to fix something because she makes Riley hit her.  She is trying to figure out what she has done to deserve to get abused the way she is.  Of course this isn't true.  Riley has a problem.  No one ever deserves to get abused mentally, physically, sexually or any other way.

            Some of the events of this story are loosely based on things that have happened to people I know.  Of course the whole story isn't real.  Most of the events are fiction but there are some big ones, such as abuse, that are based on things that I have encountered second hand.  

            With all of this being said, I hope the story has been clarified.  Please, if anyone has any questions at all about the story as it goes on, please ask.  I will be more than happy to explain anything.  Enjoy the chapter! LA

                 Finals had just ended.  The residents of Fisher Hall had three days to move their belongings out of their dormitory.  Summer break was about to begin.  Buffy, Anya, Tara and most of their freshman classmates had survived their freshman year of college.

            Buffy was getting ready for her lunch date with Riley.  He was leaving later that night to back to the east coast.  Things with Riley were the same.  He still treated Buffy like she was a disobedient dog.  

            Buffy had introduced Riley to her parents before spring break.  They both appeared to like him, Joyce more so than Rupert.  There was something about Riley that made Rupert uneasy but he never said anything to Buffy about it.  He could tell that she really cared for him and didn't want to upset her.

            Riley put on his best act for the Giles'.  He brought Joyce flowers and was prepared to talk sport with Rupert, except Rupert wasn't really a sports kind of man.  He appeared to be clean cut, respectful and the all around American boy.

            After their date that afternoon, Riley would be gone for the entire summer.  He was going to a few underdeveloped countries with his church.  He didn't really know what he was going to be doing but it didn't matter to Buffy.  He was going to be going.  Buffy was relieved.  She thought maybe things would get back to normal.  She loved him but believed that a summer apart would do their relationship well.

            Anya was in Tara's room when Buffy began to change for her date.  She took of her shirt and looked at her bare back in the mirror.  It was colorful.  From the top of her shoulders to the lower portion of her back was one big purple, yellow and blue mess.  Riley had been in one of his moods and pushed her in his bathroom at the frat house.  She had fallen and hit her back on the facet, then the sides of the porcelain tube and finally hitting the floor.  She just missed hitting her head on the bottom of the sink.

            She dazed at her wound in the mirror as Anya and Tara entered the room. Neither girl said anything at first.  Anya was finally the first one to speak.

            "My god!"

            "What happened?"  Tara added.

            "Oh what?  Hi," Buffy said off guard. She hurried and out a new shirt on.  "What are you talking about?"  She asked as if they hadn't seen her back.

            "Your back looks horrible," Tara said.

            "Oh that, I just-just-just," Buffy stopped.  She couldn't think of an excuse.

            Anya walked a little closer and held one of her friend's hands in her own.  "Buffy, what was it?  Was it because you fell again?  Where was it this time? The woods while you were on a walk?  The staircase?"

            "Anya," Tara tried to intervene.

            "No Tara.  Buffy, I don't know what you are thinking; I don't know what you are going through.  We are your friends.  We know what is happening."

            "And what is that?"  Buffy questioned.

            "Riley.  We know he's hit you.  You're your friends."

            "Anya, that's crazy," Buffy laughed.

            "Is it so crazy?  Then why do you cry when you come back from spending time with him?  Why are you so afraid of having other guys around and him finding out?  You don't deserve this!"

            Buffy, on the verge of crying, looked away form Anya as she lectured her.  This was bringing back the memories and emotions of New Years Day.  She couldn't jump in and interrupt Anya.  She knew what she was saying was right. She was tired of defending it any more.  Just as she was about to admit this to Anya, there was a knock at the door.  Tara answered it.  It was Riley.

            Buffy wiped her eyes.  She walked close to Riley and held his hand.  She gave him a kiss on his cheek. "Hi baby, you're early."

            Riley, not looking too thrilled.  "Yah.  Are you ready to go?"

            Buffy didn't have time to answer.  Anya jumped in.  "No, she isn't.  Remember you said you'd help me pack.  I'm leaving tomorrow and I have so much to do?"

            Buffy shook her head.  "No, I don't remember having this conversation.  We're only going to be gone for a few hours.  I'll be back later to help if you still need it.  Bye," she said slamming the door.

            At the point, Anya felt that she had lost everything.  She lost the biggest battle of her life.

            Silence filled Riley's car while he drove to a little café.  He finally found the words to express himself.  "What the hell was that all about?"

            "What-what are you talking about?"

            "What am I talking about?  What am I talking about?  I heard everything Anya was saying to you before I knocked.  Anya and Tara both know about your back?  You friggin told them!"  He began to shout.

            "No Riley, really I didn't.  I was changing and Anya and Tara came into the room and Anya confronted me about it.  Anya and I began to argue because I denied it.  I didn't say anything at all, honestly."

            "Bullshit," he yelled as he pulled into a parking space.  "We'll take care of this after lunch."

            The two of them walked into the café and looked at the menu.  Buffy didn't know why she looked at the different items on the paper.  Riley would order her lunch.  She didn't have control over that.

            When the waiter came over to take their order, Riley did order for her: a salad with no dressing and water, the regular.  After the waiter walked away he took her hand and began to tell a joke which made Buffy laugh.  In the middle of the joke they were interrupted.

            "Hi Buffy, Riley.  See, I told you they were here.  I thought I saw you two come in," William told Angel and then the table.  He hadn't seen Buffy since she has home for spring break almost three months ago.  That was the last time she was home.

            "Yeah, I was wrong.  How are you doing?"  Angel asked Buffy, almost ignoring Riley.

            Buffy smiled and introduced Riley and Angel.  After a few rounds of small talk Buffy excused herself from the table to use the rest room.  

            All three men watched Buffy make her way to the rest room.  As soon as she walked into the room, Angel and William sat in the empty chairs on either side of Riley and began small talk about Buffy.

            "She's a nice girl, isn't she?"  William asked looking at Angel.

            "She has always been a nice girl.  She's very sweet and caring, don't you think so Riley?"  Angel asked.

            "Yes." Riley said confidently.  "She is a great girl.  I'm very lucky.  She is charming, very kind, beautiful and sweet.  Yes she is great."

            "Yes she is," William began.  "She's actually the closest thing I have to a sister."

             "Buffy has always been a great friend to me," Angel added as he and William looked directly at Riley.

            Flabbergasted, Riley didn't know how to respond at first.  "She is a great person," he repeated.

            William said very matter a factly, "You know now how we feel about her. Do you know what we know about you?  We know that you have been hitting her."

            Riley began to laugh as he sat nervously in the chair.  "What?  Are you series?  Why would I-"

            "Cool it," Angel said sternly.  "She didn't tell us.  She actually flat out lied to us," Angel lied.  "We know it has been you.  We aren't stupid.  If you ever lay a finger on her again to hurt her-"

            "Wait, are you threatening me?"  Riley angrily interrupted.          

            William didn't beat around the bush.  "Yes, we are.  This is your only warning you will ever get.  Stop or we will be back," he told Riley with a smile as Buffy walked out of the bathroom and made her way back to the table.

            "By the way, Buffy doesn't know we talked to you about this.  She actually thinks we believed her when she defends you," Angel added before Buffy sat down.  

            She smiled as silence filled the table.  Before she had a chance to say a word, Riley stood up.

            "You know, we should really get going."

            "But we haven't had our meals yet" Buffy said.

            "Right but it didn't realize how late it was getting.  I have so much packing to do.  Remember you said you'd help me?"  He lied as he stole Anaya's excuse from earlier in the afternoon.  "We can get our lunch to go."

            "I guess."  She looked at Angel and William as Riley found their waiter and told him to pack the items to go.  "I guess we are leaving.  I really wanted to talk to you guys."

            "Yeah, but you'll be back home in a few days," William said.

             "Your right.  I will have to catch up with you guess, I miss you."  

            "We'll catch up later, we have the whole summer," Angel added.

            "Buffy, let's go," Riley said with their food in his hand.  "Angel, it was nice meeting you and William it was nice to see you again."

            Buffy said bye to her friends and followed her boyfriend outside.  Silence filled the car ride yet again.

            "Where do you want these?"  Buffy asked at the frat house as she helped Riley pack.  She was sitting on his bed and had a bunch of computer wires in her hand.

            "Those go with my lap top, put them with that."  He demanded.

            "Honey, you all right?"  Buffy asked.

            Riley didn't answer he just continued packing.

            "Riley, what's wrong?"  She asked again.

            Riley looked at her before he began to laugh.  "What's wrong?  You can actually sit here and ask me that seriously?" He put down the pile of close he had just retrieved from his dresser.  "What's wrong?  What's wrong?  We could start with the fact that while you were in the bathroom, Angel and William had a little chat with me,"  Riley began to retell the story of what happened as Buffy used the rest room earlier that day.  

            Buffy panicked.  She had no idea that had happened.  "I didn't know anything, really."

            "You expect me to believe that?"  Riley asked as he began to walk towards the bed.  Buffy stood up and began walking until she backed herself into a wall.  Riley stood in front of her just laughing.  When the laughing ended, he just smiled.  "Gee Buff, first Anya and Tara talk to you earlier today," he said as he smacked her.  She fell down to the floor.  It took her a minute but she finally stood up.  Riley struck her again and she fell back to the floor.  "Then your ex-boyfriend and 'brother' William questioned me to my face," Riley added as Buffy began to sit up.  He pushed her back down and laid on top of her, facing her.

            "Riley, really-" Buffy tried to defend her self.

            "Shut up.  Just shut the hell up.  You have been feeding your friends all these ideas.  You are the one who brought this upon yourself Buffy," he told her as he got off of her and walked towards his closet.

             Buffy finally got herself on her feet. She stood up and faced Riley.  She was surprised with what she saw in his hand.

            "Buffy, you how we do this now."

            With tears following from her eyes and fear taking over every inch of her body she shook her head.  "No Riley, no this time.  I love you but I am not going to get hit for things any more, especially things I have no control over."

            Stunned, Riley looked at her.  "What did you just say to me?"

            "You are not going to hurt me any more."

             Riley said nothing and showed no emotion.  He just looked at Buffy for a few seconds.  Then he went after her.

             "Riley no, please," she cried as they ran around his room.  She wished someone was home in the house but there was no one, as always. That was the reason why he always took Buffy back there.  He knew the schedules of his frat brothers.  No one was ever around when the abuse happened. 

            "You have to learn how to act towards me," Riley said trying to justify what he was doing to her.

            He struck her with the bat for the first time.  He hit her shoulders.  She fell to the ground and grabbed her shoulder.  He hit her the second time and got her head.  She hadn't had time to get on her feet and she just laid there as he came at her again.  The third time, still on the floor, he went to hit her he aimed for her head.  This time she stopped the bat.

            "What do you think you are doing?  That won't help you out.  What the hell Buff, just let go."  Riley yelled as he tried to regain control of the bat.  Riley climbed on top of Buffy and struggled to get the bat back.  After she almost let go of it, she realized she had power.  She could try and over take the situation.  

            Buffy kneed Riley in between the legs.  Immediately, he rolled over in pain.  She stood up and ran towards his bed room door.

            Kneeling, Riley just began to laugh.  "Just wait, you're really going to get it in a minute. By the time I am through with you, you will be lucky if you are still alive."

            Confidently, Buffy stood tall.  "No, you're not going to hit me or hurt me nay more."

            Riley stood up and continued laughing.  "Right.  Buffy, you're not a fighter.  You won't hurt me because you don't know how to hurt people, you're weak Buffy and good hearted and all that warm fuzzy crap."

            "I-I-," she began as he interrupted her.

            "You-you what?" he mocked her.

            "I can hurt someone if I have-have to," she said know feeling unsure of herself.  She had no idea what came over her or why she finally decided to defend herself but it was happening.  

            "Come on, hit me.  I'll give you one free shot.  Come on," Riley said trying to egg her on.

            Blood fell from into Buffy's eyes from the wound on her forehead.  She wanted to wipe it away but she knew that would make her loose control of the bat and that was the only thing she had at that point.

            "See you can't do it," Riley told her as he began to walk closer to her.  "You can't do this because you can't do anything for yourself."  He finally stood in front of Buffy and he reached for the bat.  Buffy was quick and she moved it before his hands got close to it.  She back into the hall way.  Riley followed her and again tried to hit her with his bare hands and she finally did it.  She held the bat and struck him quickly.  

            "You are a bitch, what did you do?"  Riley asked as Buffy hit him.  He began to go after her but she kneeled him again and hit him.

            "I'm going to kill you bitch," he said as he stood up and ran after her. 

            Riley was inches from Buffy.  He knocked her to the floor.  He got on top of her. With every inch of her body, she forced him off.  As soon as he stood up she hit him with the bat.  This time giving him a bloody lip. 

            She stood up and was about to run down the stairs to leave when he lay on the floor.

            "Buffy, I'm really hurt.  You were really strong, much stronger than I thought.  I think I may need a doctor," Riley said as he lay on the floor.

            She began to walk close to him.  She had blood and tears in her eyes. "Riley?  Are you all right?"

            "I-I don't know.  I need some help up, can you help me?"  He asked.

            Buffy walked over, dropping the bat to the floor.  Just as she approached Riley, he pushed her down. 

            "You're such a dumb bitch," he laughed.  Riley tried to strike her again but she rolled over to her side. She got up and picked the bat up again.

            "Do you think that is really going to help you?"

            There was a little distance between Buffy and Riley.  She bolted towards him and stuck him with the bat with all of her might.  Riley fell down and then fell down the stairs.  By the time he hit the floor he didn't move.  Afraid to get too close to him in fear that he may attack her yet again, Buffy just screamed his name on the top of her lungs.  He didn't twitch.

            She grabbed his cordless phone from his room and began to walk down the stairs slowly. 

            "Riley?"  She shouted again.  "Riley, get up.  Riley!  Riley!  Riley?"  She yelled over and over again as she cried.  She looked down.  There were small light red marks on her shirt from her blood stained tears.  Her shirt also contained blood from both she and Riley.   He never moved.  She called 9-1-1 immediately.  She explained that she and her boyfriend had a massive fight and now he wasn't moving or responding.

            Within three minutes the ambulance came with the police following behind.  She was hysterically crying as they took him away on the stretcher. 

            "Miss," said the officer, "we're going to have to take you down to the station for questioning."

            "Am I being arrested?"  She cried as she began to wipe her face.

            "We have some questions we have to ask you and then I think it would be best for you to go to the hospital."     

            She nodded.  "Can I make a phone call before we go?  Can my friend meet me after?"

            The officer could tell that this case wasn't an attempted murder case or anything like that.  He knew it was abuse.  He could tell that Buffy had been abused, just by talking to her for a few minutes, he knew.  He knew that Riley was hurt as a result of her defending herself.  He had seen it all the time.  He had been on the force long enough to know. 

            "You can make one quick call."  He finally answered.  

             She thanked him and then picked up the phone to call Xander.  She knew Xander would be there for her.

            "Hello," Angel answered.

            "Angel is Xander there? It's important and I only have a few minutes."  She began to explain.

            "He isn't here.  Buffy, are you all right?"

            "No, I have to go to the police station then possibly to the hospital."

            "Buffy, what happened?"  Angel asked now very concerned.

            "I can't get into it but if you talk to Xander have him meet me at the police station, please?"

            "I will do," he said not knowing what else to say to her as they hung up the phone.

            "All right, is this everything?"  The officer asked after he finished interviewing Buffy.  She admitted that Riley had abused her pretty much since they had begun dating.  She showed another officer the bruises she had all over her body.  The officer photographed them.  Buffy had also admitted that Riley raped her on several occasions but she explained she didn't think it was rape because she thought he loved her and they were dating. She thought rape has something that only happened between strangers.

            "Yes, that is all."  She said sipping some water the officer had brought her.

            "All right," the officer said.  Even though his assumptions were correct about Buffy being abused, it didn't make him feel any better.  It was never easy to handle a situation like that.  He had a daughter a little younger than Buffy and he thanked god that his daughter was healthy and wasn't in Buffy's shoes.

            "There is a young man waiting outside for you, I forget his first name but last name was Harris.  Do you know him?" 

             Buffy nodded.  "It's Xander; he's a really good friend."

            "All right.  I will walk you out," the officer said as he led her out of his office.  "I just want you to know that I may have to call you about more details."

            Buffy nodded as she understood.  They walked into a waiting room of the police station and Buffy saw the young man waiting for her.

            "Hi," she told him as she wiped her face and tried not to cry, not looking at him.

            He walked over and wrapped his arms around her and didn't want to let go of her.  He wanted to keep her safe and protect her from everything around her.  

            Buffy buried her face in his chest and cried.  She felt safe.  She felt better knowing that someone she had known for most of her life was there for her.  She finally pulled herself out of the hug, wiped her face and looked up at the Harris boy.  All she could manage to say was, "Angel?"  


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

                                                Chapter Twenty Seven

            Author's Note: Thank you to Johanna, sara and Tiney1981for the reviews.  I had to take a little break form writing the last chapter.  It was hard and kind of emotional but I am glad the feedback was positive.

            I hope everyone likes this chapter.  Remember, feedback and comments are always welcomed.  LA

            "Are you sure?" Angel asked sitting in the green chair next to Buffy.

            "Yeah, you probably shouldn't stick around while the doctor is examining me," Buffy began to explain as she looked at the white linen on her hospital bed.  "She's going to take a look at the new bruises and cuts before-before she does the rape kit thing.  They-they are doing it to co-co-collect evidence," she continued as her voice began to drift off.  Her eyes filled with tears yet again.

            Angel began to rub her arm.  There wasn't much he could say in terms of comforting her.  It had been a little more than six hours since she called his house looking for Xander.  Xander was out and had left his cell phone on the kitchen table.  Angel knew that Buffy was in trouble so he took his place at the police station.

            Once he arrived at the police station and saw Buffy he wanted to cry.  She was covered in dried blood, bruises and cuts.  She had looked disheveled.  Her appearance had saddened Angel.  He wanted to cry but he knew he couldn't.  He had to stay strong for her.  "All right.  I will be waiting in the waiting area if you want me for anything at all.  If you want me ask someone to get me, okay?"  

              "Angel, you have been here or over eight hours, please go home and rest and get something to eat.  I can call my parents to get me."

            Angel just shook his head.  "I'm not really hungry or tired.  I'm not going to leave you here. If you are hungry I could-," Buffy interrupted Angel with more tears escaping from her emerald eyes.

            "I'm fine.  I-I jus-just want to get this over with."  Buffy stopped talking and began to play with the linen sheet until her eyes met Angel's.  "Actually, if you wanted to come back with a drink, I could really sue one."

            Angel stood up.  The drink was the first thing she had asked him for since he'd picked her up at the police station.  "All right.  I'll be in the waiting area with something for you."  Angel paused.  He saw the doctor and nurse outside the door talking.  He was going to leave the room any minute but he had to ask Buffy one thing before he left the room.  "Wou-would you like me to call your parents?"  He asked in a loud whisper.

              Immediately Buffy shook her head.  She wanted to be the one who told her parents about her privet hell.  "No, I'll talk to them later."

            A few seconds later the doctor and nurse entered the room.  Angel quickly left Buffy's side and went outside to catch a breath of air.  He was only going to be out there for a brief moment, just incase Buffy wanted him to return to her room.  He sat on the bench next to the vending machines.  He had put his head in his hands and cried.  He had been with Buffy that day for over eight hours.  The police officer had asked Buffy more questions before they left the police station.  Before physically evaluating Buffy she was mentally evaluated. 

            Angel let out one loud wailing sound for his friend.  He thought that no one deserved to go through the nightmare that Buffy had gone through but lest of all she deserved to encounter it.  Buffy was the most sincere, the most gentle and then the most kind human being that he had ever known.  She had put people's feeling ahead of her own.

            Then his sadness shifted to anger.  He thought about Riley and how he was in one of the rooms in the hospital.  Angel thought that Riley was nothing more than a monster in a man's body.  He wanted to march into his room and kill Riley for the way that he treated and the way he hurt Buffy.  While wiping his eyes he took a deep breath and regained his composure.  He stood up and was ready to march in to the information desk and ask which room Riley was in.  He was so infuriated that he was ready to murder Riley Finn for all of the pain he caused.  

            Then Angel stopped.  He came to a realization.  He thought that if he too put all of his anger into physical rage, then he would be no better than Riley.  Buffy really needed a friend at that most critical moment in her life.  She didn't need a loser who'd resort to violence to get his own way.

            "Thank you Angel for everything.  Thank you for being with me today and driving me home," Buffy told Angel as he parked in front of her house.  As he shut off the engine, she noticed a light on in the family room.  Again, tears formed in her eyes.

            "Hey, shh, don't cry, what's wrong?"  Angel inquired as he put an arm around Buffy.

            Buffy began to wipe her eyes and she stared at the room with the light on.  "Look at me, I'm all bruises and cuts.  I-I have to explain this to who ever is away, tonight.  All I want to do is to start to move on.  I want to go to bed."  She told Angel has she looked at him.  His chocolate eyes were the only facial features that she could see because of the darkness.  "Angel, I don't want to tell them.  I don't want to tell them alone."

            "Shhh," Angel repeated.  "You won't be alone, I'll go with you," he promised as he wiped her tears away.

            "Angel, no.  You have done so much already.  You were with me for over eight hours today and you have to rest.  I couldn't ask you to do more for me.  You have done enough."

            Ignoring her words, Angel simply said, "You can sit in the car as long as you want but let me know when you are ready for _us_ to go inside."

            After a few minutes of silence, Buffy wiped her face.  She took seat belt off.  She placed her hand on Angel's and offered him a half smile and simply stated, "thank you."

            Angel got out of his car and closed his car door.  He walked around to Buffy's door and opened it. She walked out onto the side walk and waited the few microseconds while Angel closed her door.  They slowly began walking on the path that led to the stairs of her porch.  They climbed the stairs in silence and reached the door. After unlocking the door, Buffy stepped over the threshold with Angel right behind her.  She closed the door silently.  The area around the door was dark.  She and Angel stood in the darkness.

            "Buffy, I didn't know you were coming home tonight, hello Angel," Rupert said as he picked up his glasses and laid down his book.  He smiled at what he thought was a pleasant surprise.

            Still standing in the little bit of darkness, she looked at Rupert through the darkness.  "This wasn't planned trip.  I-I kind of need to talk to you and mom about something."

            "Your mother isn't feeling well and is asleep.  I could wake her."  Rupert offered.

            "No, I'll just talk to her in the morning."  She said before she shifted her focus to Angel.

            "Buffy, why don't you and Angel have a seat in the family room and tell me what on earth is going on," Rupert suggested a little worried.

            Angel was the first to walk out of the darkness and into the light of the room.  Slowly, Buffy followed him looking down at the floor.

            Even in the dimly lit room, Rupert noticed Buffy's bruised face.  "What happened?  Were you in some kind if an accident?"

            Buffy took a seat on the couch on the opposite side as Angel.  Rupert sat in a chair adjacent from the couch.  "No, well-I-I guess there was an accident involved."  Buffy began not really knowing how to phrase the happenings of the past six months.  "It didn't start off as an accident.  You know Riley, right?"

            "Yes, of course, was he involved with the accident?"

            "Oh, yes, well, all right, this is what happened.  Back in October we went to a party and we both had something to drink, a little, but I didn't think it was that much.  Well, anyway, that night we-we kind of argues and got into a fight.  We fought, well; Riley yelled and he-he-that was the first night that he hit me."

            Rupert looked at the young woman before him that he had considered his own child.  He could only whisper, "The first time?"

               Buffy nodded.  "He-he hit me a lot.  He has beaten me up and stuff."  Another dam of tears broke free from her green eyes and escaped down her cheeks.  "He also has ra-raped me a few times.  Today he came after me and was going to hit me again but I was-I was tired of just sitting there and taking the blows for stuff I had no control over.  He came after me this after noon bu-bu-bu," she couldn't finish her statement.  Rupert walked over to his step daughter and over to Buffy.  He cradled his daughter in his arms while she sobbed uncontrolled for a few moments

            Breaking the embrace, Buffy wiped her tears and continued right where she left off.  "But today I fought back."

            Rupert interrupted her.  "And that son of a bitch went after you?"

            Buffy was a little startled.  She had never heard Rupert use that kind of language before.  "No-well, he did but I fought back.  I-I hit him and he fell down the stairs.  When the paramedics arrived and took him away, he was unconscious," she finished as she began to cry again.  In between sobs she told Rupert that she was taken to the police station and then a physiatrist and then the hospital.

            After comforting Buffy for a few more minutes, he suggested that she should take a bath and then go to bed.  He also explained that Dawn wouldn't disturb her since she was over a friend's house for the night.

            She nodded in agreement. She said good night to Rupert and gave him a hug.  She then stood in front of Angel.

            "Thank you for everything to night.  I don't know what I would have done without you there with me."

            Angel hugged Buffy and said good night to her.  Both he and Rupert watched as she made her way up the stairs.

            After she reached the top they heard her walk to her bed room and into the bathroom.  They soon heard water from the bathtub.

            "Tell me, did you know about this before tonight?"  Rupert asked.

            Angel thought quickly about New Year's Day when he had seen Buffy on the beach and she had broken down and told Angel about Riley's abuse.  Angel decided not to say anything because he didn't want to add fuel to Rupert's fire.  "I haven't really seen Buffy a lot lately.  She had called Xander tonight but he wasn't around and left his cell phone at home.  He has said in the past that he doesn't like Riley and how she has changed since they started dating.  He said that he suspected Riley of something but every time he brought it up with Buffy she would just deny it and try to make Riley look like a great person."

            "You know, I had a bad feeling about him when he came to dinner that one time.  There were so many signs during her winter and spring breaks.  She has lost a lot of weight.  Oh god, the signs were there all along, why didn't anyone pick up on this?"  Rupert asked broken hearted.  

            "I think that even if you did confront her she would have made up a lie and stuck up for him.  That's what Xander said she always did," Angel tried to reassure him.

            Rupert just shook his head.  "I don't know.  Angel, thank you for everything you have done tonight.  Words can't express how much Joyce and I both appreciate you being there for Buffy tonight."

            "I really wish I could do more for her Mr. Giles."

            "Well, unfortunately I don't think that there is much for any of us to day at this point.  Within the coming days just be there for her.  That's all that you can really do."

            Angel nodded.  The two men exchanged conversation a little longer before they heard footsteps coming down the stairs.  It was Joyce.

            "Hello Angel.  How are you?"

            "Fine Mrs. Giles, yourself?"

            "All right just a little confused.  Why are you here?"

            Rupert jumped in to save Angel the time.  "Angel was actually just leaving.  Joyce, I think we need to talk."

            T six thirty five am the telephone rang in the Giles' household.  Buffy refused to get it.  She could hear Rupert in the other room chatting.  She figured it was a relative of his calling from England so she rolled over and went back to sleep.  Little did she know that even thought she did not participate in the conversation on the phone, that call would change her life forever.

            Buffy walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.  Dawn still wasn't home and she didn't know where William was.  She saw her parents sipping their coffee at the table.  She tried to enter the room quietly and unnoticed but that didn't work.  Joyce saw her daughter and rushed over to her.  Tears formed in both women's eyes.  Joyce couldn't find the words to speak.  Rupert did.

            "Buffy, please sit down, we have to talk."

            "Alright," Buffy said as she separated from her mother and sat down.

            "Early this morning we received a phone call from the police station."

            Buffy sighed and interrupted.  "What do they want?  They asked me so many questions yesterday.  They don't want to talk to me again do they?  Please tell me they don't want to talk to me again."

            Rupert shook his head.  "No, they called to give us some news."  Rupert paused and looked at Buffy and then at Joyce then back at Buffy.

            "What is it?"  Buffy asked not wanting to wait any more.

            "Buffy Riley died last night."        


	28. Chapter TwentyEight

Chapter Twenty-Eight  
  
Author's Note: Thanks to Kari, Brianna and Tiney1981 for the reviews. Sorry it is taking me so long to update but I have been so busy trying to finish my school work before graduation in just 40 days (not that I am counting or anything). I really want to get this story finished so I can concentrate on a Xander story which I abandoned six months ago (chapter one is posted for those interested). Also, I have written another story which I have to type and post.  
Anyway, enough of me babbling. On with the chapter! LA  
PS- I don't anything that has to do with Brittney Spears, including the song mentioned in this chapter. I had a conversation with a friend and which is the inspiration for the conversation about the song.  
PPS- I used a legal process in this chapter. I am going to be flat out honest, I now nothing about the law so I am kind of making up the legal stuff. If I am completely wrong, please be kind!  
PPPS- (this is the last side note, I promise since it is almost 2am): This chapter is long. I was debating whether to make it two chapters but I didn't. As I said, it is almost 2am, I would have had to re-format and cut and past and really, it's too much work for write now. Also, I promised a certain reader that this would be posted before she woke up. Plus, this chapter will end everything with Riley. So the new chapter will be fresh.  
  
Ok, end of notes, please really enjoy this chapter and feed back is awesome! Thanks guys!  
  
"Three dollars and twelve cents is your change. Have a good night," Buffy smiled at a customer at Sam Goody. It was almost the end of the summer and Buffy couldn't wait to go back to school. Things were crazy that summer.  
After Riley's death, Buffy felt relieved. She wasn't scared to do anything. She had reverted back to her care-free self. She felt bad for causing Riley's death but she didn't feel guilty. It was through the help of a psychologist that Buffy realized that she was in a horrible relationship and that if things continued down the same path, she would eventually be the one dead.  
She was also stressed out. Riley's mother, who was angry and bitter that her only child was dead, wanted Buffy charged with murder. She wanted Buffy locked up for life. The judge threw out her case as soon as he received it. After reviewing the fact and talking with both the officers involved that evening as well as the doctors who examined and evaluated Buffy, he determined that Buffy did nothing wrong. The complete unfortunate circumstance was self-defense. That answer didn't make Maggie Finn happy. She then proceeded to fill a civil suit in which she charged Buffy with emotion distressed. That was still to be determined. Buffy's lawyer assured her it that hearing wouldn't be for more than six months.  
  
Mrs. Finn also was calling and harassing the Giles'. She would leave messages for Buffy calling her a murderer or a killer. Mrs. Finn would say that Buffy just wanted attention and that Riley would never have done anything to harm another person, let alone rape them. Her calls were so frequent that the Giles' changed their phone number and were trying to charge her with harassment. Also, their lawyer believed with their complaints on record, it would be good evidence in favor of Buffy.  
Buffy felt bad because Mrs. Finn had lost a child. She also felt badly for Riley. She figure there had to be something that had happened to Riley to make him the way he was.  
Buffy was adjusting well that summer to having her persona back. It was just everyone else around her that had a hard time, her parents especially. They felt that if they had played a bigger part in Buffy's college life that maybe things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand. They felt that if they would have taken the time and gone to see Buffy more or if they made her come home things wouldn't have happened. It was hard enough for them to see her grow up and continue on to college, but they knew she had too. They wanted to give her the freedom of discovering who she wanted to become and make her own decisions. They felt that if they weren't as liberal and laid back she wouldn't have gotten hurt.  
Dawn also felt guilty. She told Buffy that. She told Buffy if she had just gone to their parents and said Riley was weird and acted strange that day when she and William went to visit, maybe they would have seen something wrong too. Buffy assures Dawn that she would have just denied whatever anyone said to her, just like she had been. Buffy then told her that she appreciated her keeping that a secret. Dawn promised Buffy that if she ever told her anything like that again she wasn't going to keep it a secret.  
Then there were her friends. Her friends were great and really supportive, too supportive. Xander, Oz, Angel and William all became her personal body guard. She didn't work often at night (mainly because Faith didn't want to leave her alone in the store, just incase something bad would happen to her) but when she did, some how one of the four men would "coincidently" at the mall and escort her to her car. Every one of her friends treated her like a porcelain doll. Buffy was getting a little annoyed with that but expected it. Other than being over protective, no one really knew how to act around her.  
"So you're all right if I leave?" Faith asked with her coat in hand.  
  
This was one of those nights that Buffy actually got to work by herself at night. It was Tuesday night and things were really slow.  
"Yes Faith, I will be fine."  
"Are you sure? I could just skip class for one night?" Faith offered. She had recently begun taking management classes at a community college.  
"Go! Have fun doing all that math stuff. The store is going to close soon anyways."  
"Fine, if you need anything-"  
"I'll call you. Thanks mom, you can go now," she interrupted sarcastically.  
"Fine, I'm out of here. Good night Buffy."  
"Bye Faith. Have a good night." Buffy said as she watched her boss and friend leave. She was relieved that she would be alone for the night; well, at least until ten minutes before closing. Oz, Willow and Xander were meeting her to go out to dinner.  
Buffy did as much as the closing duties she could because the store was dead. This made Buffy happy. It was a beautiful Tuesday evening outside. Everyone was outside enjoying the summer weather. She would be outside enjoying that weather too.  
As expected, Willow and Xander arrived ten minutes before closing but without Oz.  
"Hey Buff," Willow cheerfully greeted her friend.  
"Hey Will, Xander. Where is Oz?" Buffy inquired.  
"He has some practice tonight. You know he's going to be touring with-," Willow was interrupted by her friend.  
"No Doubt and Blink 182, I know! Are you the proud girlfriend or what?" Buffy asked as she looked at Xander. "And how are you?"  
Xander nodded before he answered. "Hungry, but good."  
Both Willow and Buffy chuckled. "You are always hungry."  
"I'm a growing boy-individual."  
Still giggling, Buffy responded. "Say it, you're a man. You're getting gross and old."  
"Yeah," Willow added. "You're really old, you're almost twenty! You're older than both of us!"  
Xander crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "You know, I'm not a boy, but not quite a man yet."  
"If only Brittney Spears were a man," Buffy mumbled under her breath.  
Pretending to be shocked, Xander put his hand over his mouth. "Buffy, how could you think such a thing? She is such a fine female specimen."  
"She sings that song," Buffy said. Xander looked confused while Willow laughed because she knew what Buffy was trying to get at. Buffy began to sing, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman," then she began to talk. "See, if she were a man, she could have sang I'm not a boy, not yet a man."  
Xander began to imagine the image of a blonde and male Brittney Spears in his head. He shook his head, "That would never work."  
"Why not?" Willow asked.  
"Because that song is about girly emotions and feelings and guys never talk about feelings, don't you know that by now? Plus, she's too hot to ever try and envision her as a man," Xander explained with his own rationale.  
Buffy took a deep breath before she continued. "As much as I would like to continue this conversation about male verses female emotions and feelings in songs, I have a store to close, do you guys mind waiting for me outside?"  
Both Xander and Willow agreed and told Buffy they'd wait for her on the bench just outside the store. Buffy agreed to meet them out there. From there they would go out to dinner.  
  
The three arrived at the outside café and had no wait. They sat down and ordered their meals and began to converse among themselves.  
"When do you go back to Boston?" Buffy asked Willow sipping her water.  
"August twenty-ninth. My plane leaves at six in the morning; it's going to be hell. When do you go back to school?  
"September second. Anya is going back the first and Tara won't be back until the fourth. Registration is the fifth and classes start the seventh." Buffy explained.  
"Angel goes back the twelfth." Xander butted in.  
Buffy was confused. Angel had spent a lot of time with Buffy that summer just hanging out. She told him about what classes she was taking and her living arrangements and things that focused around school. Angel never once brought up going back to New York. "What are you talking about?"  
"Angel's going back to NYU?" Willow also questioned.  
"No, he's not going back to NYU. He-he" Xander hesitated. He figured Angel had told Buffy about his education plans. Xander just continued with his conversation. "He's transferring into UCLA."  
"What?' Buffy asked, sounding as if she were in disbelief.  
"Yeah," Xander answered, ignoring Buffy's tone. "He is dropping his major because, well, he decided he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life."  
Before Buffy could add any comments, Willow jumped into the conversation and shifted it. "What about you Zan? Do you know what you want to do? You have to do something to contribute to society."  
"What? You mean I can't stay at home and live off my mother any more? Shucks, I was getting good at that." He asked sarcastically. "I'm thinking about construction."  
"You can go to school for that?" Buffy asked still thinking about Angel.  
"Umm, no, well, maybe. I was thinking about doing construction. Just for no. I have absolutely no clue to what I want to be when I grow up."  
"But Xander, remember you are all grown up." Buffy teased.  
"Yeah, you're a man." Willow added with a smile.  
"No," he answered back," "Remember the 'if Brittney Spears were a male' conversation we had? I'm not a boy and not yet a man."  
Buffy rolled her eyes as Willow laughed. Their food came and all had begun to eat. In the middle of the silent dinner, Willow made an announcement.  
"Guys, you know how Oz isn't here tonight?" Willow asked.  
"Oh God Will, are you missing him all ready?" Xander asked jokingly.  
"Of course she does Xander. They spend so much time together that they are joined at the hip.' Buffy added.  
"Well, yeah, that," Willow said gaining back control of the conversation. "Well, we actually kind of broke up."  
"What?" Xander and Buddy asked in unison.  
"Yeah. We both decided it would be for the best. I mean, he's going to be touring all over the place and it was hard enough to have a long distance relationship with me being in Boston, but we both agreed that this would just make things harder."  
"Will, I'm sorry. Are you all right?" Buffy sympathetically asked her friend.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." Willow answered as if she hadn't really been affected by the decision. "We should have probably broken up along time ago. It was really coming."  
The friends continued talking until they finished eating. They paid their bill and they left. Buffy drove alone in her car, at her request while Xander drove home with Willow.  
She pulled into her drive way and got out of her car. She had walked into her house and went into the family room. She saw Dawn sitting in the room watching television. She could her mother and Rupert arguing upstairs.  
"What's going up there?" Buffy posed sitting next to her sister.  
"They are fighting." Dawn confirmed  
"Why? They never fight." Buffy stated sounding concerned.  
"I don't know. Someone called and then dad took the phone out of mom's hand and she was crying and then dad started swearing and said words that I have never even heard. Buffy, I'm in junior high; I hear lots of bad words. William went for a walk with me and we got back and they were still arguing and mom's crying. William had a date. He asked me if I wanted him to cancel, I said no and after much convincing he left about an hour ago. That was my evening, how was yours?" Dawn asked after explaining her night.  
Buffy was silent for a few seconds. She was concerned. In all of the years that Rupert and her mother had known each other they had never argued. "Do you want to go outside, for a drive?"  
"Why? We'll just come back and they will still be arguing."  
Buffy nodded. "Dawn, I'm going to see why they are fighting. You stay here, I'll be back."  
Dawn was hesitant about letting Buffy go upstairs. "No, what if they start yelling at you too? It'll be noisier. Buffy, I'm scared."  
"I won't fight with them, I promise. I'll be back down."  
Buffy went up the stairs. As she got closet to her parent's, it sounded as if they were just talking really loud and bitterly. In any case, they both were really angry.  
"Hello?" Buffy knocked on the door. "Are you guys having a privet party or can I join in too?"  
Buffy looked around the room and saw that both of her parents looked tired. Their eyes were all red. Their eyeballs were bloodshot.  
"Hello Buffy," Rupert said as he took off his glasses and wiped them before putting them back on his eyes. "How was your evening?"  
"It was great until I came home and Dawn said you guys have been psycho fighting. Can you please tell me what is going on?"  
"Buffy, please sit down," Rupert said as Buffy took a seat next to her mother on her parent's bed. "Buffy, you know how Mrs. Finn was going to pursue the civil suit?"  
"Yes."  
"Well, it usually takes months, sometimes years to get everything in order to proceed with the court hearing and such."  
"All right, then what's the problem?"  
"Robin Wood called."  
"Our lawyer?"  
"Yes. He said that he was contacted by attorney Warren Meers from Boston. It seems that Mrs. Finn is going to be in town this week for a pre- trail."  
Buffy was really shocked. Robin had told her not to expect any type of civil trail before six months. Robin had said the earliest time would be six months. It had been less than three months. "What? How?"  
Joyce placed her arms on her daughter's shoulder as Rupert sat on the bed next to Buffy. "Apparently Mr. Finn has some connections out here. He travels out her frequently and knows a lot of judges. I guess on owed him a favor and so the trail is being moved up."  
Buffy was distraught. She wasn't prepared to go through this right now. She was mentally ready to take this on in another three months, but not now; not during her summer vacation. "When do we have to meet with them?" She asked looking at the bed.  
The room was filled with silence. Joyce and Rupert exchanged glances before they both look at Buffy, who is staring into space. "The day after tomorrow," Rupert whispered. "And Buffy, it could get messy."  
"How so?' Buffy asked still in a daze.  
Joyce's broken voice answered. "They want everything we own."  
"What?" She gasped.  
Rupert began to talk again. "Your mother and I have been arguing over whether or not meet them half way or sell the house or-"  
"Sell the house?" Buffy screeched as she too began to cry.  
"Yes." Joyce replied.  
Shocked. She was completely shocked. Buffy just nodded as she stood up. "Good to know. I'm going to let Dawn know that you're all right. She was worried; I think she thought you guys were getting a divorce or something."  
"Buffy," Joyce called out but it was too late, Buffy was all ready on her way Dawn the stairs to talk to Dawn.  
  
"Buffy, Mrs. and Mr. Giles, hello," Their lawyer said extending his hand to everyone. Robin met the family in his office the morning before the pre-trail. They were strategizing what would and wouldn't be said later that afternoon during the trail. The Giles' family and Robin would be meeting with the Finn's and their lawyer.  
After explaining some of their options, Robin looked at Buffy. "Buffy, some of this stuff may be hard for you. During this time you will be forced to go back and relive some of the things that have happened to you."  
Buffy just nodded. She was angry at the Finns for bringing this up again. One judge had all ready thrown the case out earlier and Buffy couldn't understand why this judge was taking the case. "Can I ask you something so I can be clear and understand?"  
"Of course you can." Robin assured her.  
"The Finns are here to get money, right? I mean, that's the whole point of this, right?"  
"Yes."  
"But don't they both make a lot of money. I mean, he's a lawyer for some big east coast cooperation and his mother took on a full-time teaching position at Harvard University."  
"That's right," Robin assured her as he checked his note.  
"My mother works in an art gallery and my father is a guidance counselor in the Sunnydale public school system. We live very nicely and very comfortably but I am wondering what could we possibly have that they would have?"  
Robin nodded, taking in Buffy's question. He waited a few seconds before he began his explanation. "Buffy, you are probably correct when you say that the Finns probably have a lot in terms of property and material possession. They no longer have a family. The only child they ever had is dead. He was a cruel man who took pleasure in abusing you on so many levels. After all was said and done, you went home to your family. You can always go home. The reality is their son will never walk through their doors again. They need to place their blame on someone or something. He died from a result of you defending yourself. The place they want to put that blame is on you. Now, I know as well as your parents and your friends that you were defending yourself. They don't see it that way. Buffy, please listen to this. I don't know their lawyer. I know nothing about him because he is from the east coast, but I beat chances are he will make you cry, you will try and convince you of events that probably didn't happen or he will try to convince you that his version of events are right. I need you to know this so you will be prepared. Do you understand?"  
Buffy nodded as Robin continued to talk. She was tuning in and out of the conversation. There would be nothing that could prepare her for this battle.  
  
Three hours into the hearing, Buffy stood up and left the room for a few minutes. Her heart was racing and her hands were sweaty. She hadn't spoken yet. She just had to leave the room. She couldn't stand Mr. and Mrs. Finn making Riley sound like a saint. She couldn't take that Mrs. Finn actually had no idea what kind of man her son really was.  
"Buffy, sweet heart, are you all right?" Joyce asked her daughter.  
"Yeah, I just had to take a breather for a minute. They aren't' making this any easier. Mrs. Finn just keeps on looking at me like I'm Satan or something." Buffy mumbled.  
Joyce stood behind her daughter and pushed her hair out of her face. "I know, but we are almost over for today. I don't think you'll have to talk today if that makes you feel any better."  
"Loads and loads," Buffy sarcastically commented.  
"Come on; let's go back into the conference room."  
Buffy grabbed her mom's hand and leaned on her side with her head resting on her mother's shoulders. They walked back into the conference room and sat down.  
Mrs. Finn continued to speak for a few more minutes. Buffy had thought that was going to be the last testimony given that day. She was surprised when Robin said it was her turn.  
Robin asked questions about Buffy's high school experience and her friends then her family. Slowly, he made his way into questioning her about college. He began asking her questions about the first time she met Riley, which she said was during the orientation tour she took in high school. By the time Robin was done questioning, Buffy felt sure of herself and felt ready for whatever Warren Meers was going to say.  
"You've had a hard life, haven't you Buffy?" He asked.  
Buffy shook her head. "No, I don't think so."  
"Oh, so Rupert Giles is your birth father and you have always loved him and welcomed him into your life with open arms?"  
"What does this have to do with Riley?'  
"Well, I just wanted to cut you some slack; it's hard when you don't have both of your parents around."  
Buffy was angry so she answered very rudely. "Not that it is any of your business, but Rupert Giles is the only father that I know and I am glad."  
Warren Meers smiled sympathetically. "Buffy, I was feeling bad for you; I just wanted to tell you that and sometimes things are hard."  
"Will you please just get on to asking questions that have to do with my relationship with Riley Finn?"  
"You said Riley only beat you in his frat house, right?"  
"Yes."  
"When questioned, his frat brothers said this was the first time they had heard of anything like that went on in his house."  
Before Buffy could answer, Robin spoke up with paper sin his hand. "Excuse me, I have in my hand the boy's statements and actually, they all said that there had been history of Riley hitting his girlfriends. In fact a Parker Abrams stated that the diseased had bragged on several occasions about hitting his girlfriends. This dates back to the beginning of Riley's sophomore year of college when he first moved into the house. Abrams also stated that both we and a Holden Webster were approached by Mr. Finn. Mr. Finn asked if either one of them would ask Ms. Giles on date so he would have a reason to show his anger when he hit her. Both me declined the offer."  
"Let me see that," Warren Meers stood up as he examined the paper. His eye brows went up and down a lot while he read the statement. "Do you have any other pieces of evidence that I should know about?" Meers asked resentfully.  
"Actually, I do." Robin went into his briefcase and retrieved a folder. He opened the folder and looked to make sure the contents where in it. He closed the folder and nodded his head. "Here you go. These are copies of the photos that the Sunnydale police station took the night that the final assault took place. Also included is the report that states Giles' are in the process of filing a law suit against the Finns for harassment. The dates and dialogue in the phone calls between the Giles' and Mrs. Finn, who placed the calls, are all listed in the report."  
Meers looked a little surprised. He looked at his clients before looking back at the papers and then at Robin. "Can we break for twenty- minutes?"  
Robin nodded. "Please, be my guess," he smiled.  
Mr. and Mrs. Finn walked out of the conference room with their attorney. Warren Meers truly looked worried.  
Rupert paced the room for the length of time that the Finns' and their attorney were absent from the room. Buffy sat with her head on the table. Joyce sat straight in her chair. Robin kept on telling them that things were going all right and looking very good for the Giles'. It didn't help, everyone was too nervous.  
Finally, almost a half hour later, Mrs. and Mrs. Finn entered the room silent. Mrs. Finn looked as if she was crying. She walked into the room holding her husband's hand tightly. Mr. Finn had a look of defeat on his face. Warren was closely behind. He sat down and waited almost a full minute before speaking.  
"My clients and I have reached an agreement. I believe that it in their best interest that they drop all charges. The Finns have also agreed to this. We are sorry this took up your time but are thankful it did not go to court. Wood, you are an excellent lawyer," Warren said smiling and shaking Wood's hands.  
Rupert and Joyce sandwiched their daughter and gave her a hug. Tears fell freely from all of their faces. After they broke from the embrace, Wood came over to talk to them. He was leading them out of the room when Joyce put her arm around Buffy's shoulder.  
"You can finally start to move on sweetheart. This part is all over."  
Buffy nodded. Rupert pressed the button to the elevator as he was thanking and speaking to Robin. They were getting into the elevator when Mrs. Finn stopped them.  
"Hi, I was wondering if I could-umm-have a few words with Buffy? Alone?"  
Everyone stepped out of the elevator. Buffy looked at her parents. They didn't want their daughter alone with that woman. After all, she had pulled juvenile tactics such as the phone calls.  
"We only have a few minutes. My sister is probably going crazy at home." Buffy spoke up.  
"What I want to say will only take a few minutes," Mrs. Finn replayed.  
"Please stay where we can see you," Rupert demanded. He wanted his daughter within his sight.  
Mrs. Finn nodded and walked Buffy to the end of the hall and sat on the bench. She was silent until Buffy spoke.  
"What do you want to talk to me about?"  
Still silent, Mrs. Finn just stared at Buffy for a brief moment before finally speaking. "Honestly, I didn't believe you."  
"That's refreshing to know," Buffy bitterly commented.  
Ignoring the young woman's comment, she continued. "I really thought you were some one out to get Riley. His father and I both had no idea what he was doing out here, what he was capable of. Then your lawyer brought out those pictures and," tears filled her eyes. Buffy was surprised that she seemed understanding. Whispering, she continued. "He used to be a good boy. He loved church; he loved Boston, he loved singing and traveling to help out people in need. We-I didn't raise him to do those horrible things to you. I don't know why he did those things or what possessed him to do them." Mrs. Finn sadly laughed under breath. I'm his mother. I'm a psychology professor at one of the most prestigious educational institutions in the world; you think I would have known something about his behavior. Because I failed somewhere along the line, my son had major personal issues and tendencies for whatever reason and as a result, young women such as yourself were hurt."  
Buffy heard every word of what Mrs. Finn had said. Both women were looking out of the window and focused on Main Street, right outside of the courthouse. It was almost six o'clock. People were rushing home from their hard day at their jobs. Buffy finally took her focus off of the window and one to the woman who was still peering out of it. Tears were flowing freely from her eyes. Buffy placed her hand on top of Mrs. Finn's and whispered.  
"Mrs. Finn, I don't blame you for what Riley did. Riley was a grown adult. He was responsible for his own actions. He was definitely ill but, I'm sure you and Mr. Finn did the best you could have with him. He was the one who chose his path. He created his own destiny. I'm sorry that he didn't consider your feelings." Buffy paused for a moment before continuing. "I think Riley was a nice person with a huge heart. There were times where he was very sweet and kind to me, but most of the time he wasn't. He just had an anger management problem. He has no one else to blame other than himself really. I had offered to go with him to get help, but he chose not to. I'm sorry he didn't go. Maybe I would have been meeting you under different circumstances."  
Mrs. Finn squeezed Buffy's hand as more tears fell from her eyes. Finally, she let go of Buffy's hand to wipe her eyes. "You are a very sweet girl. You are wise beyond your years. I'm sure that's because of this whole fiasco. One thing is for sure; your parents have done a wonderful job with you. They are very very lucky to have you as their daughter."  
Buffy looked over at her parents. They were talking to Robin. Buffy's mother was actually laughing about something. That was the first time in three days she saw her mother showing another emotion besides sadness. Her step father was watching her and Mrs. Finn from the corner of his eye. She smiled. "Mrs. Finn, I think you have the last part wrong. I am very very lucky to have them as my parents." 


	29. Author's Note

A note from the author:

Hi folks,

It's Lisa. I don't know if FF will allow me to post a note to you guys but I am going to try anyway. I have to try and communicate with you guys.

First off, thank you for those who have emailed wondering where the updated chapters of , "As the World Turns" are. I am so glad that after months of a hiatus that people still have interest in the story. Thanks guys for hanging in!

This is the scoop: I got caught up in finals and papers and graduating from college in May, I had a wedding out of town to go to right after and then like a fool I began a job only two days later. I have been putting in over 40 hours a week at work and no me time.

If my time isn't messed up enough, I have a computer problem! While at school I was on a network and had no problem getting on line. Now that I am home I can't get on line at all from my computer. Also, I have windows XP and decided that it would be fun to do something to my computer that makes me have to sign in now and I can't find any of my files and to get to the point, I have no clue to what I have done to it. I can't even get to all of my music and such! I even had to reinstall the Sims when I played! GRRRRRRR!!! (If anyone has any helpful info it would be greatly appreciated!)

I do have a new chapter done on the computer but I can't find! I am searching for it as we speak. I am going to try and have the story completed before I go away on vacation at the end of July but I am not making any promises.

If anyone has any comments, questions, concerns or helpful information, please email me at buffygal8880yahoo.com.

Thanks for hanging in there and I promise something new will be up soon!!!

LA


	30. Chapter TwentyNine

                                                Chapter Twenty-Nine

            Author's Note: It's been a long time since I updated and I am sorry.  I have been very busy with a little thing called life and didn't have the time to finish this story. 

I want to thank those who gave me feed back.  I truly appreciate it.  I hope there are still people sticking with it.  There are a few more chapters left to this before I start on a new story.

            I wanted to let you guys know that I am going on vacation next week for two weeks.  I will try and get a new chapter posted but I can't make any promises.  I have been extremely busy at work.  My co-worker does nothing so I have to pick up her end of the work.  Plus we are waiting to get accreditation from this bug national organization and I can't begin to tell you how extremely stressful this has been.  The thought of becoming a professional student has never sounded so good before.

            I am going to try and write on the plane so all I have to do is type the story up but we'll see.  I am terrified of plane rides so please say an extra prayer for me!

            Again, I really appreciated those who have stuck with this!! Thank you for your dedication and I hope you enjoy!      LA

            "They're going out again?"  Buffy asked Tara as she folded her laundry and tucked it neatly into her drawers.

            Tara nodded.  Before she could get a word into the conversation, Buffy spoke.

            "But it's the third time this week they gone out together.  He's here so often why doesn't he just move in with us!  It would save on his commute," Buffy stated bitterly.

            "I thought that you were all right with Xander dating Anya?  You told her just the other night how great she and Xander are together and how you are so happy for them."

            Buffy inhaled slowly before letting out a quick, soft laugh.  "Tara, I'm fine with them together, really I am, but since he started hanging out here all the time and since he started to date Anya, things have been different between us.  I love him; really I do, like a brother.  He is one of my best friends but that doesn't mean I want to live with him.  Plus, he is here all the time and I don't get to spend any time with him."

            Tara sighed with sympathy.  She too was becoming a little tired of seeing Xander around their suite.  She had liked him and thought he was a great person but he didn't live there.  Anya and Xander had been dating since for almost four months.  Ever since Anya told Buffy that she had a little crush on Xander, Buffy played the part of the good friend as well as cupid and set her two friends up on a date. 

            Tara nodded her head.  She felt bad for Buffy but wanted to change the conversation. "I'm excited about dinner at your parents' house.  I like your family, they are very nice.  It's on Saturday, right?"

            "Yeah, mom is excited that you and Anya are coming over.  She and my dad both love cooking.  The more people the merrier."  Buffy smiled.  She too was excited about her friends visiting her house and she couldn't wait. 

            "She what?"  Buffy asked almost yelling.

            "She and Xander went away for the weekend."  Tara explained again.

            "But my parents are cooking dinner for us.  Arg! This is so like her lately!  Tomorrow is Friday and she canceled by just skipping town?  I can't believe her!  You're probably going to pull out too, right?'

            "No, I told you that I was excited to visit your family and I am.  You are so close to your family and I miss mine.  It makes me feel good when I am around you and your family."

            "I knew I could count on you."  Buffy said a little relieved.  Tara had proved herself a good friend time and time again.

            "Hey, that's what friends are for, right?"  Tara smiled.  She was thinking about telling Buffy what she was feeling and a little more about herself.  She only hoped that Buffy was going to be as good of a friend to her as she had been to Buffy after she shared her feelings with her.

            "Mom, everything was great," Buffy told her mother as she began to clear off the dinner table.

            "Buffy, sit down you have company.  I'll do that," Rupert smiled at his daughter as he took the dishes from her hands and began making trips in and out of the kitchen.

            "Yes Mrs. Giles, dinner was good.  Roasted chicken is one of my favorite meals.  Thank you for inviting me," Tara smiled.  She had met Buffy's family several times but this was her first visit to the Giles' household.

            "It was out pleasure," Joyce commented with a smile.  "What will you girls be up to tonight?

            "Buffy was going to introduce me to William," Tara answered.

            "Yeah, I figured we could see his new place.  We have been trying to get together for a while but with school and all, things have been crazy, especially with spring break coming up and all of the mid-terms.  I can't wait to see it, it sounds really nice.  I don't know how he keeps it up all by himself.  The yard work alone sounds too much for him and he doesn't like gardening and all the flowers stuff."  Buffy said.

            "Oh, you didn't know?"  Rupert asked sitting down.

            "Didn't know what?"  Buffy asked.

            "William indeed does have a roommate."  Rupert stated.

            "Is it a girlfriend?  Maybe we shouldn't go over.  Would we be intruding?"

            "Angel-" Joyce began to explain before her daughter interrupted her.

            "His girlfriend's name is Angel?"

            "No, Angel is his roommate."  Rupert said trying to make things clearer to Buffy.          

            "Angel Harris?"  Buffy questioned.

            "How many Angels do you know?" Joyce asked in a light and sarcastic tone.

            "I guess that makes sense, I mean they are friends," Buffy nodded.

            "I'm surprised Xander didn't tell you.  He helped them move a few weeks ago."  Joyce said.    

            "Well, Xander and I don't really talk too much now a days.  He seems to be spending a lot of quality time with his girlfriend."  Buffy told her parents with a slight attitude.

            Both Joyce and Rupert sensed the stress in Buffy's voice so they changed the subject all together/

            "You have a really great place.  It's beautiful here," Tara told William after he gave she and Buffy a tour of the apartment.  The apartment itself was nice but outside was a garden that was too beautiful for words.  Pink lilies and white roses grew freely in the yard.  The living room filled with the aroma of lilacs which were also growing in the yard.

            "Thanks.  It needs a lot of work inside but I don't mind doing that.  I just don't like all of the outside work but Angel seems to like that."

            "You're really close to the beach," Buffy commented.  It was true.  William and Angel were within walking distance from Angel's favorite spot on the beach.

            "Yeah, I guess we are.  I don't like it too much, Angel does though.  He goes for walks down there all the time.  Would either one of you like a drink?"  William asked.  "I've got soda, beer, water and umm and ice tea."

            Could I have some water please?"  Buffy asked.

            "A soda would be great, thank you," Tara softly stated. 

            William offered a half smile.  "One water and a soda coming right up."

"This place is so beautiful.  The two of them have put so much work into this place," Buffy said admiring the place.  "I can't believe that two guys live here."

            Tara nodded in agreement.  "William is really nice."

            Buffy smiled.  She had seen the way that William was staring at Tara.  He had big eyes when he talked or looked at Tara.  Buffy hoped to play cupid for two of her best friends.  "Did you see the way he looked at you?"

            "What?" Tara asked with a slight laugh.  "I don't know what you're talking about."

            "You didn't notice? His eyes have been looking at you and following you all night!  He's in a daze like state whenever he talks to you!"

            "Buffy, I don't think it's like that at all. I think he's nice and really cute but I don't think he's my type." Tara tried to explain.

            Ignoring Tara, Buffy continued.  "Oh come on! Not your type!  He isn't your type if you're not into the cute, smart and sensitive!  He is good friend, or even boyfriend material.  He's," Buffy was interrupted by the sound of the front door being unlocked.   

  Both Tara and Buffy watched as the door opened and Angel came in.  He hadn't noticed the two young women sitting on the couch.  He closed the door and hung up his back pack and sweatshirt.  When he finally turned around he was a little startled when he saw Buffy and Tara sitting down.

            "Hey! Long time no see! How are you?"  Angel asked as he waked over to Buffy and gave her a hug.

            Buffy hugged Angel tightly.  "I've been great and you?"

            "I'm good.  How do you like the place?"  Angel asked.

            "It's so beautiful!  You guys have put so much work into this place.  The outside and inside are just beautiful."  Buffy commented.

            "Well, thank you but we are doing so much more with the inside. There's so much more to do."  Angel began to explain but saw Tara. He didn't know who she was and stopped talking to Buffy and introduced himself.  "Hi, I'm Angel," he said extending his hand.       

            "Angel, this is Tara, Tara this is Angel.  He's Xander's older brother.  Angel, this is one of my best friends from college, Tara."

            Tara and Angel made small talk and exchanged small talk for a few minutes.  William soon came back with the drinks.  The four sat down and talked for hours.  Tara was admiring the smell of the flowers so much that William offered to cut some for her to take back to her dorm room.  The two of them went outside and talked while William picked some flowers for her.

            "So besides the apartment, what have you been up to?"  Buffy asked as she and Angel sat alone.

            "Well, I'm back at school.  I'm at a community college for now until I get all of my requirements done with.  Then I'm thinking about transferring to UCLA for business or pre-law but I don't know yet.  I think I am leaning more towards pre-law."

             "Wow! You have been busy."  Buffy smiled.

            "After my grandmother died I took all that time off to help my mom so Xander wouldn't have to be there by himself and then I started working and I didn't think I'd go back to school but I did and I am.  What about you?  What have you been up to?"

            "Nothing much.  I'm still at UCS.  I chose my major.  I'm an arts major.  I have no idea what I can do with it but its fun to learn about all of the painters and musicians.  I actually found out that I like opera! I'm leaning towards art therapy but I'd have to take psychology classes and I hate it!"

            Angel smiled as Buffy told him all about her possible career path.  He watched her as she looked excited about helping children through art therapy.  He looked at her in a different way.  He had loved her of course when they were both in high school.  They were high school sweethearts.  Then he looked at her as a friend, just a little more than an acquaintance.  Then he thought of everything that happened between her and Riley and thought that the girl he once loved was actually a woman.  Buffy was forced to grow up fast the previous year.  As she sat there and went on and on about her education goals, Angel smiled.  He was happy that she seemed to be herself again.  She was herself, just older.

            "Listen to me, I've been blabbing for hours.  I'm sorry!"  Buffy apologized after she noticed that Angel hadn't spoken for a while.

            "Don't worry about it.  Everything you said sounds interesting.  It sounds like you know what you want."

             Buffy smiled and looked at her now empty drink.  "Yeah, at least that's my plan.  We'll see how it all turns out."

            Angel nodded as Tara and William came back into the room.  They both had big smiles on their faces and looked as if they had enjoyed their time outside together.

            After talking a few more minutes, Tara and Angel left and headed back to their dorm room.  They were both tired and wanted to head back.  They had said good bye to their hosts and started on their way back to school in the dark.

            "So how do you like William?  Isn't he the nicest?"  Buffy inquired.

            "He is really sweet, but-"

            "But what Tara?  Isn't he great?"  Buffy asked with a smile.

            Tara peered out into the darkness.  She didn't want Buffy to tease her any more.  She didn't want Buffy to try and fix her up.  "He isn't my type?'

            "Why not?  He's handsome and smart and charming, but you already knew that because you're holding a bunch of flowers that he picked just for you."

            "Buffy-"

            "William didn't pick me any flowers."  Buffy added with a smile that was hidden in the night.  "I really think that he likes you Tara."

            Tara still looked out of the window.  She didn't want to tell Buffy this way but Buffy didn't take a hint.  This was going to be the time to tell her.  "Buffy, I know that William is a great guy.  He is so nice and very charming, but I am not interested in him."

              "Well, if you think he's so great, then why not?"

            Tara looked at Buffy as Buffy looked out on to the street and drove.  "Buffy, I-I don't know how to tell you this but I a, a lesbian."

            Buffy was shocked.  Her first instinct was to jam on the brakes. She didn't care about Tara's sexual preference, she was shocked that she told her.  Buffy didn't say anything.

            Buffy's silence made Tara nervous.  Silence was never a good thing.  "Buffy?  Are you mad at me?"

            Buffy said nothing.  She continued to drive at the same pace. 

            Tara spoke up again.  Buffy, is this going to effect our friendship?  Will-will you still be….be my friend?'  Tara asked in a whisper.  Tears began to form in her eyes. 

            Buffy had tears in her eyes too.  "Of course I will still be your friend.  I love you for the person you are and this is part of the person you are.  Of course I am still your friend."  Buffy smiled as she pulled into a parking space and parked her car in front of her dormitory. 

            Tara smiled and wiped her eyes.  "Thank you."

            Buffy was baffled.  "Why are you thinking me?"

            Tara swallowed and answered her friend.  "I h–had lost a few good friends while I was in high school because I am a lesbian.  People actually stopped talking to me because I like girls.  I was afraid to tell anyone here because I-" tears rolled down her cheek.

            "You were afraid that we would shun you like your friends at home did?"

            Tara just nodded.  Buffy could see her friend much better under the parking lot.

            "Tara, you are one of my best friends ever.  Willow and Xander are good friends and I have known them for a long time.  Dan too but they have all been so far away in one form or another over the past year.  You Have really been there for me to laugh and cry and just to be silly with.  I will always be your friend."

            Overcome with emotions, Tara hugged Buffy.  She was never so grateful in her entire life for a friend as good as Buffy.

            "So what is going on with you and Angel?'  Tara asked on Saturday afternoon following their visit to William and Angel's apartment.

            "What do you mean?"  Buffy asked as she sat on her bed.

             "What do I mean? Geez!  You two were talking for so long!  Every time I had looked in on you two you were giggling, both of you.  It wasn't just you who was doing all of the flirting."  Tara teased.

            "I don't know what you are talking about."

            "Buffy, he is beautiful and he likes you."

            "What are you talking about?  Angel and I go way back.  He was my first boyfriend.  That time seems like it was another lifetime ago.  We are different people now."

            "I still think that he likes you., a lot."

            Buffy stood up and shook her head.  She ignored Tara's comment and changed the subject.  "Do you need anything at the supermarket?"

            Tara laughed.  She knew her friend didn't want to talk about Angel.  She wanted to tease her friend the way Buffy had the night before when she talked about William.  "I'm fine.  I'll stop it, but you know that I am right."

            Buffy smiled, took her key s and left.  She made her way to her car and thought about Tara.  She didn't believe that she thought Angel was attracted to her.  Their relationship was so long ago.  She was so young then, so inexperienced.

            She parked her car and made her way into the store.  She looked at her list as she pushed her little cart from one aisle to another.  She was reading the back of a package when she slammed into another cart.  "Excuse me, I'm sorry."   She said as she looked up.  "Angel, hi."

            "You know you really shouldn't read and drive, it's pretty dangerous."

            "I know.  I was just trying to hurry.  I hate food shopping."

            "Me too."  Angel agreed.  Silence filled the distance between the two of them.  They both wanted to say something but couldn't find the words to say something good.

            "Isn't your birthday coming up?"  Angel asked.

            "Yes.  It is in a few weeks, during spring break."

            "I thought so.  Are you doing anything fun for it?"

            "Not really.  Just a family party.  I haven't had one of those since the year Stacy died."

            Angel remembered that day.  HE remembered that Buffy was unconscious for a while.  He couldn't remember if she was out for hours or days but he had remembered how scared he was.  He thought that he was going to loose her.  "That sounds like fun."  Angel said sarcastically.

            "Well, most of my friends will be away.  Willow doesn't have the same break as me, Dan has been away fir a while, Xander, well, Xander won't noticed and Tara is going home."

            "That sounds like a drag."

            "Yeah, but what can you do."  Silence filled them again.  They couldn't find the words to talk.

            "Listen,. if your not doing anything that night, would you like to come over?"

            Angel put up a front.  He acted as if he didn't know and that he was very busy. In the end he had agreed.  Both Buffy and Angel had walked away very happy. 


	31. Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

Author's note: Hello all! I'm back from vacation and I am tan and ready to write the rest of the story!

First off I'd like to thank Thelionessrules, naiya-isis, Kari and Kristine for you reviews. Thank you all for still sticking with me!! Naiya-isis, I am honored that you are enjoying the story even though you aren't a fan of Angel and Buffy. I'll talk your review as a huge comment!

I did an outline of the rest of the story. There are a few more twists left in the story. I really hope that people stick with the rest of the story and are surprised by the surprises.

Anyway, enough from me. I'll get onto the story. LM

PS: This chapter is still rated PG. I wanted to warn of some very mild use of language.

"What?' Buffy asked a little surprised by Xander's comments. "He really did?"

Xander nodded. Tara had told him and Anya that Buffy missed spending time with them, especially separately. Both Xander and Anya made the effort to spend time with their friend. "Yes, he did. Are you going to get a milk shake with your lunch?" Xander asked while making his final lunch decision.

"No milkshake for me. What did he say to you?"

Xander took a deep breath. He had promised Angel that he wouldn't say anything about their conversation to Buffy. The topic kind of slipped out by accident and Xander was sorry that it had. "All he did was ask about you. He asked if you were interested in anyone, or if you were seeing anyone."

Buffy sighed. "Is that all? What's the big deal about that?"

"Well, there was on more questions. He asked me you'd be interested in seeing him again."

Buffy laughed. "What? What did you say?

"I said I didn't know."

"And what did he say?"

Xander took another deep breath. He didn't like to be drilled for information form one of his best friends. He also knew that he would be drilled later that night by his older brother.

Xander sighed as the waitress came over and took their orders. As soon as she was gone, Buffy repeated herself. "What did Angel say?"

"He asked if I'd find out for him. Of course I was supposed to find out without telling you that he said he's interested in you. So if you could act surprised if he talks to you about this. I'd appreciate it. Also, please try and keep your answer simple. I'd appreciate that too."

Buffy didn't know what to say. Other than listening to Tara randomly teased her about Angel, she hadn't really thought of him. She did enjoy talking to him a few times.

"So what so you think?" Xander asked sipping his milkshake that the waitress had just brought to his table.

Buffy shook her head. "I don't know."

"I knew this wasn't going to be easy. What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I didn't give it much thought. I don't know how I feel about Angel, at least in a way other than a friend. He has been there for me even though we grew apart for sometime. He was even though for me when everything happened with," Buffy's voice drifted as she thought of Riley. "him and that whole thing. We had a great time talking the last few times we talked. He even stopped by for my birthday. That was a surprise even though I told him about it." It was true. Angel had showed up at her family birthday party. He had bought her flowers for her birthday. She hadn't thought of his gift as being anything other than a sign of friendship. "I think I really need to think about this."

Xander expected Buffy's answer. He wasn't going to pressure her into making a decision right there. He nodded his head and changed the subject.

"Where are Amy and Connor?" Dawn asked Faith as they finished dinner.

"He had a doctor's appointment and then she is going to her parent's house. Sorry you guys were just stuck with me tonight," Faith explained.

"It is a pretty cruddy deal but I guess we could deal with just you," Buffy sarcastically stated.

Faith chuckled. She was good with come backs but didn't have the time to come back with one. A knock at the door interrupted them.

"I'll get it," Joyce said. "It's probably your father. He forgot his keys this morning. I found them on the floor when I got home and he had that big school committee tonight."

Joyce made her way to the front door. From the kitchen the girls could her Joyce from the door. "Did you forget some-?" Joyce stopped in the middle of her sentence. She was flabbergasted.

The girls couldn't hear Joyce talk any more. Dawn caught a glimpse of her mother from her seat in the kitchen. She looked like she was in shock.

"Mom, who is it?" Dawn yelled but got no response. "I'm going to check on her."

A few minutes had gone by. Both Buffy and Faith heard nothing form the other room. "I'm kind of worried about what's going on at the door. It can't be good news. I can't see or hear anything. I'm going casually into the family room to see if I can hear anything." Buffy explained as she got up.

Faith also got up and followed Buffy to the next room. "Are you being nosey B?"

"Well, yes and no. I told you, this can't be good."

Buffy and Faith sat in the room on the sofa. Joyce had gone outside on the porch and Dawn stood at the door watching the people on the porch.

"What's going on Dawnie?"

"Well mom was upset and almost cried. That's when she told me to go into the house. She and that man were arguing but I couldn't make anything out. Then Dad pulled into the driveway. He and that man talked and shook hands and then mom started crying and dad held her hand and oh no!" Dawn said as she too ran to the same sofa that her sister and Faith sat on. "All three of them are coming into the house right-" the opening of the door interrupted her.

"Hi daddy," Dawn greeted Rupert softly.

"Hi Dawn," he said with a faint smile. He was still holding Joyce's hand. Joyce looked sad but irritated. Everyone in the room couldn't help but glance at the stranger in the room.

"Well, this looks like a family thing. I'm going to split," Faith whispered to Buffy as she started to stand up.

"Faith, please stay. This has something to do with you too." Joyce said sounding a little angry. Joyce made her way from her husband to the three young women in front of her. "Dawn, I know you don't know who this man is. You are too young to remember him but maybe Buffy remembers him."

Buffy started at the man. She was about to shake her head no until two memories flashed back. She remembered being a young child swinging on a swing and the man pushing her. Then she remembered when she and Angel made the trip back to LA to see Stacey's grave. Angel stopped across the street from where this man lived. She too was filled with a little anger. "You're Hank Summers.'

"What?" Dawn asked in disbelief.

Silence filled the emotional filled room. Buffy was both sad and angry by the presence of her birth father standing in her living room. Dawn was plain old angry. He never tried contacting them before, she wondered what he wanted no. Joyce was also feeling very similar feelings as Dawn. Rupert wondered what kind of mess Hand was going to create and leave behind. Rupert hated seeing his wife and daughters upset and he knew after this visit they all would be very emotional.

Then there was Faith. She thought she was intruding, but Joyce had insisted on her staying. She couldn't imagine what Buffy and Dawn were felling. Her father had left her and her sister too. She figured, liked Buffy and Dawn, she would be filled with feelings of rage, hate and sadness.

"Wow, you two are almost grown-ups," Hank said calmly and offering a smile.

"Funny things happen when you leave your children and then come back a billion years later. What did you expect? Did you expect to see us in diapers?" Dawn snipped.

"I guess you're right Dawn. It has been along time." Hank replied.

After staring at Hank for a few minutes, she stormed out of the room. Seconds later the house shook with the slamming of her bedroom door.

"I guess this is a little harder than I imagined it would be." Hank commented.

"You guess this is hard? You guess so? You left mom with two young children while she was finishing school and worked full-time. She had to drop out of school; and only recently finished her degree. You never tried to help us out or stay in touch with us. I hated mom and my _father_. I especially hated mom because I thought she made you go away. The only time in my life that I tried to get in touch with you, you told me that Dawn and I were children that you never wanted. Did you know that was the first time Dawn ever heard your voice? How the hell did you expect things to go?" Buffy calmly explained.

"Buffy," Hank said also calm," please don't speak to me like that. I am you're father."

"You know you have a lot of nerve. You are not my father. My father is standing near my mother and holding her hand. My father will be here to comfort me and my sister while my mother is alone in their room because she will be crying. My father, Rupert Giles, may not have helped to create me but he has raised me and Dawnie. Where were you when my best friend and I got into a car accident and she died and I was unconscious for days? Or when Dawnie was diagnosed with a learning disability? Or when I was being beaten and raped by my boyfriend who I killed in self defense? We haven't even touched upon all of Dawn's father/daughter dances through the Girl Scouts. We haven't talked about all of her dance recitals and her concerts. She has a really beautiful voice you know. Mr. Summers, you are wrong. I'm going to tell you this again, Rupert Giles is my father. You are nothing more than a glorified sperm donor to me." Buffy exploded but still remained calmed and composed.

The room was silent again. No one had ever heard Buffy speak like that before. Everyone was taken back and didn't know how to respond. Hank once again chose to begin another conversation.

"You must be Faith."

Faith shook her head and gave Hank a weird look. "Dude, you're kind of scaring me. How did you know my name?"

"I knew your name because your mother and I knew each other. I had no idea that you knew Joyce and the girls. This was a pure coincidence."

"What are you talking about? How did you know my mother?" Faith demanded. She was way less collective than Buffy was.

Hank nodded. He knew this wasn't going to be a good sight. He felt a lot of screaming and yelling coming. This conversation was going to be more intense than the previous conversations with Buffy and Dawn. "I knew your mother. I-well- I was involved with her before and during the same time I was engaged to Joyce. Neither knew about each other."

"What! Man, you've got to be kidding me." Faith knew what this man was trying to say to her. "Didn't you break up with Joyce because you cheated on her too?"

All Hank could do was nod sheepishly.

"Man, didn't you ever hear the saying, 'keep it in your pants'? I don't believe this!"

"How is your sister?" Hank dared to ask.

"Dead, just like my mother. At eighteen I was alone raising Heather's child, being a child myself. I gave up going to college to raise him. I don't have any family and-and I've got to get out of her. Joyce thanks for dinner. B, I'll catch you later." Faith said as she too stormed out of the room and out of the house. Within a matter of seconds the sound of her peeling out of the driveway echoed through out the neighborhood.

"This is going to be a shorter visit than I expected it would be," Hank said.

"With all due respect Mr. Summers what did you think would happen? Again, I must remind you that the last time I spoke to you; you told me that my sister and I were children that you never wanted. You dropped a bomb on Faith and us." Buffy stopped for a minute. "Wait a minute, Faith is my sister? I have another sister? Oh my God." Buffy paused to try and take her statement in before continuing. "How did you expect us to react? Did you expend us to stand here with open arms and welcome you into our lives? You just marched into all of our lives and gave us all some very big news. If I may ask, why?"

"Why what?" Hank asked sadly. He was choked up. He too was absorbing everything that was happening around him.

"Why now? What makes this time more important from when you left?"

"I wanted to see you, get to know you guys a little bit. I wanted to introduce you to your other siblings before-before." Tears filled his eyes. "I have regrets. Leaving you Joyce, leaving the girls. I wonder how things would have been if I wasn't such a bastard. I wanted to talk to you and get in touch with you because, well, I have cancer and I'm not going to get any better. I wanted you to remember me as something other than the bastard that left your mother and you and Dawn so many years ago. I wanted to be part of your lives."

No one said anything. Buffy stood up and grabbed her keys and left the house. Unlike Faith's departure, she didn't speed away.

She wanted more than anything to talk to William. She and William had shared countless conversations about their absentee fathers. She wanted to cry to him, talk to him about what happened in her house and have him help her get over it.

She pulled I into his driveway and was pleased to see his car in the driveway. Angel's car wasn't there so she could have some privacy with William.

Buffy parked her car and ran towards the front stairs and rang the bell over and over before the door opened.

"Can I help-Buffy. Are you all right?"

"Angel? Where is William?"

"He took my car to get a new battery. He left his lights on last night and killed his battery. Are you all right?"

Instead of pouring her heart out and crying and putting up a fight, Buffy lost it. She put her head in Angel's chest and let her tears flow freely into the cotton of his t-shirt.

Angel just held onto Buffy and embarrassed her. He automatically thought something was wrong with someone in her family. He wondered if Joyce, Rupert and Dawn were all okay. He knew that Buffy would tell him when she was ready but she was falling apart. He wanted to know what made her so upset. "Buffy, look at me. What is wrong? Is it your parents? Dawnie?"

Buffy shook her head still in Angel's chest. She didn't say anything until she pulled away from his chest and wiped her eyes.

"It's my father he-"

"What's wrong with Rupert?" Angel asked trying to understand what was going on in Buffy's world.

She just shook her head. "Not him, my biological father. The guy we saw that time we went to LA. He was outside with the kids when we saw him in the yard."

Angel nodded. He knew what she was talking about. "Your biological father?"

Buffy looked at Angel before she spoke. "Yes. He showed up today and he dropped all this news on us. He is dying and I have siblings I didn't know I had." Buffy paused and thought of Faith for a minute before she continued. "Faith is my sister."

"What?!" Angel said really confused.

"Yeah, I know. I don't-can't talk about it right now. I'm sorry I bothered you. Please have William call me on my cell. I'm not going home, so."

"You're right you're not going home, your going to stay here."

"What?"

"Buffy, you're all stressed out, for a good reason. You are a wreck and I can't let you leave like this. You need to just hang out and calm down. Would you like something to drink? Eat? Read? You want my lap top? It's yours if you want it."

Buffy smiled. She knew what Angel was doing. She wiped the last stray tears away from her face. "I'm fine thank you. Could I just lay down for a minute on the couch? My head hurts from all that crying."

"No," Angel replied. "I do insist that you lay down in my room."

Buffy looked around. She saw piles of work around Angel's lap top. "I can't. You have so much work to do."

"That's the good thing about the lap top, you can do work from anywhere. I was actually doing my work in the dining room. My bedding is clean; I just washed it this morning. Now please, go relax and lay down."

Buffy gave Angel a big hug and looked up at him with her almost dried green eyes. "Thank you."

Angel hugged her back. "Really, it's no problem. I'll walk you there."

"I'll only lay down for twenty minutes," Buffy said.

"Please take your time." Angel said as he lead Buffy to his room. "If you need anything please let me know.

Buffy nodded and laid down. Within seconds she was out like a light.

Angel called the Giles' house and spoke to Rupert. He let Rupert know that she was safe at Angel and William's and that she was resting. Before hanging up the phone, Rupert thanked Angel for his care and concern.

After forty minutes, Angel checked on Buffy. She was still fast asleep and hadn't moved from the position she was in when he left the room. Angel watched Buffy as she slept. He knew that she was filled with so much hurt and pain. It saddened Angel to know there was nothing he could do to make her all better.


	32. Chapter thirty one

Chapter Thirty-Two

Author's Note: Thanks to Kristine, naiya-isis and KaraBell once again for the great support with the very slow moving pace of this story. Just for being such great reviewers, I'm going to post two chapters tonight! Thanks again and I hope you enjoy what you read and remember I love and appreciate feedback!! Enjoy! LA

Buffy wiggled in her chair. She had been waiting for him for almost ten minutes. She was going to leave in another five if he hadn't showed up. She continued to fidget with the pink cloth napkin that lay over her lap. She wondered how he managed to get reservations to _Nancy's, _a new Italian restaurant that had just opened. Her mother knew one of the co-owners and still couldn't manage to get into the place. Buffy's mind continued to drift as he arrived.

"Hi Buffy, I'm glad you could make it. Faith and Dawn didn't change their mind about coming?" Hank asked as he sat down across from his daughter. He thought she was beautiful and resembled his family a lot. He had thought so ever since he held her in his arms as a tiny baby just hours after she was born. Joyce always argued with him about that. She had thought Buffy looked like her.

"No, they didn't change their mind and decided to still not come," she said in a soft voice.

Hank nodded. He didn't expect them to. It would have taken a miracle for them to. He picked up the menu and decided what he wanted. Buffy did the same thing. The waitress came and took their orders and left the table in silence.

"I have pictures of your brother and sister. Tommy is almost eleven and quite athletic. He loves soccer and baseball. He does really well in school too," Hank said painting to pictures in his wallet.

Buffy stared at the blonde haired boy. She thought that they resembled each a lot. She couldn't help but wonder if her brother knew about her. Her brother? It felt weird for her to even think that.

"And this is Madeleine who is almost four. She is the real one that runs our house. She is so dramatic. She will be Hollywood royalty someday, I just know it," Hank chuckled as he stared at his daughter. "She looks just like-"

"Dawnie," Buffy interrupted him. The child looked exactly like Dawn. The resemblance was strange to Buffy. The whole concept of having these siblings that she never knew about until the other night was odd to her. She didn't know how to handle it. She was relived when her salad came. "They are beautiful children, Hank."

"Buffy, please call me-"

"Dad? I can't do that. I told you the other night that I have only one father and that is my father at home, Rupert Giles. I put him through a lot of crap when I was younger with my attitude. Even when I was trying to push him away he was there for me. He was there for me when I didn't deserve him to be. So, with all do respect please don't bring this subject again." Buffy said taking a deep breath and then biting into her cherry tomato. She was relieved that the waitress had brought their salads out seconds before. Her tone remained calm and civil but she believed that she had made her point loud and clear.

After she finished her salad, Hank began to ask her some questions about her life. "Are you in school? I mean college?"

"Yeah. I just declared my major."

"What did you decide on?"

"Art therapy. I love children and wanted to work with really young children. This is one way I can. I don't know if I will be doing it forever but I want to see what it is like."

"You seem like you would be good with children." Hank paused for a second as a smile formed on his face. "You must have a boyfriend. You are so smart and so beautiful, there has to be a special boy in your life."

Buffy smiled for the first time that evening. "Actually there isn't. I'm actually confused about this one guy. We have a long history together and we dated for a while a long time ago and I just found out that he wants to restart our relationship."

"Is he good to you?"

"Yes. He is a great friend and always has been. I just-I just don't know if I want to start things romantically again. That was so long ago."

"He wasn't the boy who hurt you, was he?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. Actually, I don't know what I would have done without him during that whole ordeal."

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened with that whole thing? Did someone hurt you?"

The coloring from Buffy's face left. She wasn't going to share that with Hank. He might have been her birth father, but he was a stranger to her. She wasn't ready to relive those memories with anyone, especially someone who wasn't a constant part of her life. "Hank, I do mind very much. I do not want to talk about that. It was a very stressful time and to be honest with you, I still have nightmares from time to time about that whole experience. I just don't talk about it."

Hank nodded. He watched Buffy, who was coming out of her shell with him, go back in. He quickly changed the subject. "Are Dawn and Faith doing well? I mean, with me being here?"

"They are dealing in their own ways. Faith won't even talk about the whole thing. She is pretty angry. Dawn is very similar. She is very bitter and angry too. Neither one of them were speaking to me before I left to meet you here."

A brief silence clouded their conversation until Hank formed a small smile on his face. "I suppose I am a grandfather. Did Faith have a girl or boy? How old is he or she?"

For the first time this meeting Buffy grew irritated. She took two deep breaths before she corrected Hank on several different things. "First of all, the child isn't Faith's. His mother was Heather, Faith's sister, your _other _daughter. Heather died. Faith couldn't go on to college because she was alone with a baby to raise. She tried finding you and her leads led her to this area but she never found you. She has been raising Connor by herself. Also, you haven't been much of a father to her. Do you think that automatically makes you a grandfather?"

"I know I haven't been the father of the year when it comes to you girls but where was Faith's mother? She could have helped out some." Hank protested.

Buffy was furious. "She was cold and buried in a grave. She died of cancer. After she died Faith moved in with Heather and the rest is history."

Hank had forgotten that Dorothy had died. He was silent and looked uncomfortable. Buffy decided at that moment she would start asking the questions.

"I have to know a few things. It-it will give me a piece of mind. I have to know why you cheated on mom. I mean, she loved you a lot. Then there's Faith's mom. I don't get it. Are you cheating on your current wife?"

Hank was the one taking the deep breaths. He took his third and started explaining to Buffy. "No, I haven't cheated on my current wife ever. About your mom and me, well, we were high school when we met. We dated and got a long great. We got married really too too young, younger than you are now. That was our first big mistake. We should have waited. I honestly didn't want to be settled down and have a wife. I continued to go to college and then law school right after. During law school, I had my first affair and it didn't feel so rotten and bad. The other woman was looking for a fling and then for me, one fling led to another. I remember after I graduated from law school, I was scoping out jobs on the east coast and met Faith's mom. She was so beautiful and gentle, a lot like Joyce. I made several trips back there. Dorothy became pregnant with Heather and I sent her money for her. When it came to bills, your mother always made them out and kept the records. I told her the child support money was some charity. I kept in touch but never really went to visit. The next time I visited she became pregnant with Faith. I made a few trips back after her birth. I told your mother it was for a big job that I never got. When the child support went up because there were two children, I told her that I thought we were in a good place to start giving more to the charity. Your mother never knew until the divorce that I cheated on her. She didn't have any idea about Faith and Heather until the other night. Dorothy certainly had no idea about your mother. She-I led her to believe that we had a future together.

"After Dawn was born, I started loosing more focus on our family. I was cheating on your mother with who ever. The temps at work, the clients, the secretaries, anyone. When she found out I was involved with Michele, my current wife, she didn't want anything to do with me and demanded a divorce. We used to fight horribly while you girls were sleeping. We would go out to the car and fight back and forth. I'm actually surprised that no one ever called the police on us. I was so horrible to her, and you girls, and Faith and Heather. I have messed up so many lives."

Buffy nodded. She agreed with him. He was mean to people she loved the most and who meant the most to her. Buffy then continued to keep the ball rolling.

"I have to know something that has been bothering me for years. This is the only memory of you that Dawn had before the other night. I called you one night when I was babysitting Dawn. Mom and dad had gone out for dinner or something and it was one of my first times being alone with Dawn at night. I went through mom's stuff and found letters that you had written her with child support checks." Tears formed in Buffy's eyes but she was determined not to break down in front of him. She would save that for the drive home when she was alone. "I called you. There was a baby crying in the back ground and a woman answered the phone. I was so happy to talk to you when you finally came on the phone. I had wanted to talk to you for years. When I finally did talk to you, you were very angry. Dawn picked up the phone downstairs and heard you call us children you never wanted. I-I-" Buffy was beginning to loose her self-control. Those words were still very hurtful to her years later. She couldn't continue. Hank sat up and put his hand on top of hers.

"Buffy, there is no excuse for that. At that point, I didn't want to be a grown up any more. Michele is over ten years younger than me and I wanted to act like her. I wanted to live like her. Plus, at that time, I was paying Dorothy child support and then your mother for you and Dawn. I was a lawyer, I could afford it but I didn't want to make the effort. Michele didn't want children; she didn't understand why the payments were so much money. I was very stressed out. It was not an excuse it was how we were both feeling. We wanted to be care-free and childless. Then she became pregnant with Tommy. Ever since Tommy's birth, I realized that I have missed so much of your life, and Dawn's and Faith and Heather's lives. I've wanted to come back and try and form a relationship with all of you but I didn't know how to. My current state of health was just an excuse to come and see you and Dawn and what fascinating young adults you have grown into. Finding out that Faith was actually at your house was an amazing surprise. I had no idea that she was looking for me for a while."

Buffy didn't say anything. Tears were falling from her eyes and splashed on her crossed arms. There was a little piece of her that felt sorry for Hank. Hank tugged her hand and then too began to form his own tears.

Buffy wiped her face and breathed. She decided that dwelling time was over and it was time to move onto the next subject. She started softly. "You said the other night that you have cancer?"

Hank took out his handkerchief and wiped his face and nodded. When he regained his composure, he explained. "Yes. I have three tumors in my lungs. My doctors are going to remove them and then I'm going to start chemo right away but the specialists that I have talked with all believe that it is too late."

Absorbing the information was painful. There was no witty come back that Buffy could come up with.

"I do want to tell you that I am so sorry for everything. I know sorry doesn't begin to even cover all of the horrible things that I have put you through, or Dawn or Faith, or Heather or your mothers. I know it isn't enough. I know that there is nothing that I will ever be able to do to even try and make up for all of the last years and I'm not going to insult any of you by trying to make it up. I would like for you girls to do something for me. This isn't technically for me; it'd be for Tommy and Madeleine. I-I would like it if you girls became part of their lives. They know about you. I told them before I came to Sunnydale about you. They were very excited to know about you girls, especially Madeleine. Madeleine hopes that one of you would be willing to play house or dolls with her," Hank laughed.

Buffy returned his laugh. "I will have to think about that. This whole night has been a lot to absorb."

Hank patted Buffy's hand again. "I know honey it is but thank you for trying."

Buffy couldn't find any more words. She just nodded with a smile. Relieved, the waitress brought their entrees out just seconds after their conversation ended.

"So how was it?' Tara asked after Buffy hung up the phone with her mother. She had actually wanted to speak with Dawn but she still wasn't talking to her. Buffy figured she would try talking to Faith in a day or so. Buffy was glad that she decided to go back to her dorm room rather than go back to her parent's house. It would have been harder for her to see Dawn ignoring her to her face.

"Hard, painful yet such a relief. I am feeling so many things and I don't know what to do about the feelings. I want to talk to my sister and hug her and cry with her but she's too pissed at me to even talk to me on the phone. I want to tell her all about our little brother and sister. Madeleine looks so much like Dawn it was frightening. I felt like I was looking at one of her pictures. And-and he's-he's" Buffy had to stop in the middle of her sentence. Tara walked over to her and placed her arms around her friend. Buffy broke down and cried in her arms.

"Shhhhhhhhh, Buffy it's all right. Shhhhhhhhhh," Tara repeated.

"No it isn't Tara. He's dying and you know, after tonight, there is a part of me that feels bad and I know I shouldn't, but I do. I don't know," Buffy said pulling herself out of Tara's arms. She wiped her tears. "I am making myself not thinking about it for the rest of the night. I'll think about it tomorrow. How was your date?"

Tara didn't want to talk about herself. Buffy needed someone to be there for her and Tara wanted to be there. Buffy also needed to talk and think about something else. She was in emotional overload. "It was all right but I don't think I am going to call her back. We didn't really hit it off. We went out for coffee and it was mostly silent. I did most of the talking. I just didn't feel a connection with her."

"That stinks. You were looking forward to that. I'm sorry."

"Thanks but it isn't your fault. By the way, Willow called to confirm your lunch on Wednesday and Angel called."

"What?' Buffy was shocked.

"Willow wants you to call her back and Angel, he said he was thinking of you and wanted to see if you were all right. You didn't have to call him back if you didn't want to."

Buffy fell back onto her bed backwards. "My head ouch just got worse."

"I know what will cure your head ouch."

"What's that?"

"A drive to the ice cream parlor to get a double scoop of cookie dough and sprinkles dipped in chocolate."

"I think my head ouch likes that idea. Do you want me to drive?"

"No, I'll drive. Let's go!"


	33. Chapter Thirty Two

Chapter Thirty Three

"So it was really intense?" Willow asked Buffy about her meeting with Hank. Willow's spring break fell a few weeks after Buffy's did. They made time to meet up for coffee and just chat.

"It was so intense. Faith and Dawn weren't speaking to me because I had dinner with him. I was surprised when he sad he wanted to be part of our lives. Dawn, you know, my sister who finally broke down the night after I had diner with him and started to talk to me again? Yes, her, she and I had a very long talk and we laughed and cried, then we cried some more and then we decided that we are going to meet our siblings. And other things have been happening too."

"Other things? Like what?"

"I've been having these dreams, not every night but pretty frequently. It's different each time."

"What are they about?"

Buffy swallowed. "I, well, they start out pretty similar. I'm always by myself in the beginning. I'm either lying in bed or cooking dinner. This man comes in and it's Riley. He is either kisses me and wraps his arms around me is really gentle with me. He flatters me and says he is so glad I have stuck with him through everything and that he is a changed man and that all he needed was someone to help him. The other dreams that I have start out the same way but he either is attacking me or beating me up or he is rapping me. I've had one dream where he actually killed me. I saw my lifeless body in my dream and it felt so real."

"Wow, that's pretty, wow. I wish I could be here for you. You have so much going on right now. I wish I wasn't so far away from you." Willow sadly responded.

"Me too but don't worry about it. I am so much better than I was with the Hank thing. I am so confused and I can't talk about the dreams any more. I haven't told anyone about them. I don't want to think about them. What is going on with you?"

Willow drank her coffee and looked at Buffy on the eyes. "Well, I made the deans list."

"Again? Wil, I asked what's new. You always make the dean's list!" Buffy teased her.

"Right. Well, here's the thing you know how Oz and I broke up a while ago?"

"Yes. You said it was because you guys never saw each other and that it was hard. Wait Wil, do you still have feelings for him? This is so weird because Angel has been popping in and out of my life and I have really weird feelings for him. I am so happy that you are having the same feelings for Oz. Finally, maybe someone knows how I have been feeling!"

Willow looked at Buffy with a confused expression. "What? No, I don't want to get back together with him. We didn't break up because of the distance. He was really great and I still care about him and all but no, it's like, well, Buffy I'm a lesbian."

Buffy nodded. She felt like this was in some ways a flashback. She and Tara had a similar conversation recently, but this was Willow. Willow, one of three of Buffy's best friends. Willow never really shared much of her life in Boston with Buffy and now she knew why. "Did Oz know?"

"Yes. I actually talk to him quite a bit. He is the one who has helped me come out. He has been a really great friend to me."

Nodding again, Buffy spoke again. "Well Wil, I think you are very brave to open up to me. I can't imagine what you are feeling but it must be hard."

"It's really not that hard in Boston. I feel so free and liberated there. I mean, if high school was half as fun as college, I would have loved high school so much more. I have really great friends out there and a great girlfriend."

Buffy was a little surprised. She hadn't expected Willow to tell her that she was a lesbian. She definitely wasn't anticipating Willow having a girlfriend. As with Tara, who Willow had as a lover didn't change her feelings toward her friend. Willow was still one of her oldest and best friends.

"What do you think?" Willow asked nervously.

"It doesn't matter Wil. I still love you. You're Willow. You are still one half of the duo who came and sat with me on my first day of school when I first moved to Sunnydale. You've been a great friend ever since. I am lucky to have you in my life. "

Willow had tears fill her eyes. She was so scared to tell people about the woman who she had become. She was scared to tell her parents and Xander but some how, she knew things would be all right with Buffy. She knew Buffy would accept her for who she was, no questions asked. "Can you come with me to talk to my parents?" Willow smiled.

"Wil, you know if there is anything you need me to do I will do it for you." Buffy smiled.

"I know. I think I'd better tell them alone. I'm not going to think about that so much yet. Maybe I'll tell them at the airport when they drop me off next week. You know who I haven't talked to for a while?"

"Xander?" Buffy guessed.

"I guess you haven't either."

"Not really, and his girlfriend lives with me."

"That's too bad. I really miss him. I don't remember the last time I talked to him."

"I just saw him recently for the first time. He and Anya spend all of their waking hours together, just not around other people."

Both girls sipped their drinks. A familiar silence filled the air between them. "You mentioned something about Angel? Are you seeing him?" Willow asked breaking the silence.

"No. Things are so weird. I saw him the other night when Hank stopped by the first time, when he showed up at my house. I left my parent's house and drove to Angel and William's apartment."

"They live together?" Willow inquired.

"Yes, they have this really great apartment near the beach. I wanted to talk to William. I knew he would say something great to make me feel better. He wasn't home and Angel answered the door."

"Oh boy, what happened?"

"He was there for me. He made me rest on his bed. He made me tea. He listened to me without saying anything. When I felt better and felt like going home, he drove me home. William dropped my car off the next day. When Angel dropped me off he said, 'remember I'll always be there for you, no matter what is going on in our lives, I'll always make time for you.'"

"Wow. Buffy, he sounds like he really has some type of feelings for you. I think he loves you."

"He asked Xander if he thought I would date him again."

"What?"

"Yes. I don't know. We have such a history together but that was so long ago. Between this and Hank I have such a headache."

"I can see why. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't even want to talk about it. I get so confused."

Willow smiled. She obeyed her friend's wishes.

Buffy sat and looked at her friend. Willow was looking in her coffee cup. Buffy wanted to know more about Willow's life in Boston, especially her girlfriend.

"Tell me about your girlfriend. What is she like?"

A grin found its way to Willow's face. "Her name is Natalie. She's our age. She's in my program and concentration. And she's so beautiful. She has this long light brown hair and these great big brown eyes. She's into the gym and is kind of a health nut but I don't know that part is so not like me at all! I really like her. She really makes me happy." Willow ended with a smile.

"How long have you been a couple?"

"For almost a year."

"You didn't tell anyone here for almost a year? Wil, that's crazy."

"Oz knew."

"Oz has been out of the area for almost a year and a half! You were filled with all of this happiness that you couldn't share?"

"Well, yes and no. Yes in the since that I really liked her and I didn't feel comfortable talking about that new part of my life with anyone, other than Oz. Buffy, he helped me out so much with my feelings and he was so supportive. I don't know how many guys would have been that supportive. I will never be able to pay him back for all that he has done for me."

Buffy nodded. Oz was a great person. She missed him so much. She hadn't seen him all that much since him and Willow broke up.

"Hey Buffy?"

"Yea-uh."

"Do you want to go shopping?"

Buffy smiled. "Sure, let's go. Where do you want to go?" Buffy asked as she gathered her keys and talked to her friend while leaving the coffee shop.

The sun was just about to set. The sky was filled with vibrant pinks and oranges. The water hit the white sand before emptying back into the ocean. Buffy's feet touched the water. She was so mixed with feelings and emotions, the only thing she could do was walk. After she dropped Willow off at her house, she drove to the nearest beach and walked. She just walked and thought looking up at the sky.

She thought of Faith. Faith hadn't talked to her since she made the decision to go meet Hank for dinner. Faith was beyond angry and pissed. Buffy couldn't blame her. Hank never had a relationship with Faith or Heather. Buffy just worried how she was handling her feelings. She thought of calling Amy to check up on Faith.

Then her thoughts shifted to Dawn. The only thing she remembered about Hank was the telephone call Buffy made to Hank. Dawn heard Hank call both Giles' girls children that he never wanted. Buffy wished with all of her heart and soul that Dawn had the same memories as Faith, none. The conversation between Buffy and Hank on the phone was hurtful and it did haunt Buffy all these years but she had some good memories of Hank. She was a definite daddy's girl back in the day.

Her poor parents. Her mother just found out that her ex-husband who cheated on her while they were married lied to her and had children with another woman. It was so unfair. Buffy felt so bad for her mother. And her father. He always tried to stay calm and rational, but this had to kill him. He was watching his closest family members emotionally being ripped apart by the seams. She was never so thankful to have Rupert Giles as her father.

Then Buffy trembled and began to think about her dreams or nightmares that had been keeping her awake at night. Buffy didn't know why Riley was visiting her in her dreams. She didn't know what the dreams meant but she wanted them to end. The dreams scared her.

After wiping her eyes she thought of Willow. Willow was so nervous about telling her family about her sexuality. Buffy thought that both Willow and Tara were very brave. She couldn't imagine how it felt to come out and tell someone that she was gay. She gave both women so much credit for accepting themselves and loving themselves for who they are. They were both very strong women and she admired their strength.

After wondering down the beach she found herself at Angel's spot, the rock on the beach. She sat there and let her heart cry. She allowed her tears to flow freely.

Thoughts of Hank entered her mind and she cried so hard. He could never make the previous years better. He had done wrong with his actions and words, but Buffy still felt a great deal of sadness towards him. In all of his life, he didn't know what he wanted and he made terrible decisions because of it. He was trying to do right by his older children. His heart and feelings were there, even if he was dying.

After taking a couple of deep breaths, she played with the keys she held in her hands. She held a key chain picture of her, Willow and Xander from high school. Xander. She missed him. Their lunch the other day seemed so distant and so different. She wondered what was going through his head. What was happening that made him act so strange? What was going on that made him loose touch with his friends who knew him best? Was it Anya? Buffy had no idea what was going on.

Thinking about lunch with Xander the days before automatically made Buffy think of Xander's brother. Angel was sending some pretty strong signals but was she misreading them? He always showed that he cared for Buffy. She had remembered a promise he had made to her several times years before back when they were both in high school. One of the times that he promised her was on that very same rock. He had always repeated that he would always be there for her and he has kept his promise. She didn't know how or why but Angel always seemed to pop up when she needed him. The first time was with Riley. Buffy would have gone crazy without someone with her at the hospital and police station that night. He went above and beyond during that time and thought nothing of it. Then the other night with Hank. He dropped his school work and midterms to make sure Buffy was all right. Both times she had never called out to him but he still showed. Angel had also been with her way back in high school when Stacy died. He stood by her in the hospital while she was unconscious after the accident. Then he drove her back to say her final good-bye to Stacy at her grave and drove her past Hank's house. She thought hat Angel had been there for her more so than any of her best friends. Xander had his life with Anya which seemed to monopolize most of his time. Willow started a new life in Boston. Oz was starting to venture out and enjoy his dream. His band was touring and playing huge gigs opening up for huge named bands. They were about to record their first CD. Oz was constantly on the go.

Buffy began to cry again once she realized she was growing up. She and her best friends were growing apart in some ways because they too were becoming adults. Each person had their own life to live. This made her extremely sad. Buffy finally lost it. All of her emotions came pouring out. She held her head in her hands and sobbed like an infant.

After a few seconds, Buffy began to wipe her eyes and tried to put herself back together. As she is tried to do so, she can felt a presence. She had no idea who was near her but she could feel it. Then she heard the voice say, "Please don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry."

Buffy gasped and saw a man in front of her. The man in front of her ran to her and they shared a hug as she began to sob again.


	34. Chapter Thirty Three

Chapter Thirty Four

Author's note: I wanted to thank those who left a review for me. Kristine, naiya-isis, MaLooLa and KaraBella: you all rock! Thanks for the feed back! Thanks for not giving up on me or the story! I hope you enjoy this chapter! It takes place right where the other one ended.

"Shhhhh, it's all right," he told Buffy as he held her a little tighter in his arms. He held her as her tears dried on the shoulder of his t-shirt.

Buffy pulled herself together and pulled herself out of his arms. "What are you doing here? I thought I was alone." Buffy explained.

He took a deep breath. "I saw you outside of the window, over there," he said pointing to the little window in the kitchen. The light was still on.

"Aw, I see now. I knew you could see this spot from there but I- I didn't realize I was at this spot," Buffy said realizing where her walk had led her. She wasn't near her car. She hadn't thought she had walked as far as she had.

"Is this a special spot to you?'

Buffy smiled. "I guess you could say that. It just has lots of memories."

"Funny, it's a special rock to Angel too. Wonder if there is a connection there?"

"Actually it was his place first."

"I see, so you just borrow the spot once in a while, right?"

Buffy chuckled a little. "Yes, I just borrow it once in a while, when I think there is no one around watching me."

The smile soon faded from her face. Xander dared to ask details of what brought him to that spot. "Why were you so sad a little while ago? I saw you crying and when I came back here you were still crying. What's going on with you?"

Sighing, Buffy tried to recap everything that was happening to her. "Well, I met Hank for dinner. Because of that Dawn and Faith weren't speaking to me. Dawn lasted only a day. She is talking to me now. We are actually going to go and meet our siblings soon. The youngest, a girl, looks just like Dawn did, it's kind of frightening." Buffy took a deep breath as her eyes began to swell. "I know I shouldn't, but I feel bad that Hank is dying. I know he did wrong to me and Dawn, but I feel bad for him."

"Buffy, that's understandable. He is after all the man who helped to create you." Xander added.

"I know but he has messed so many things up, but I feel badly. I don't know why. I still feel like he's scum and he isn't fit-I don't know I can't explain it."

"How's Faith doing?"

"Amy says she is all right. She still isn't speaking to me. I can't say I blame her. Hank was worse to her and her sister. They never knew him at all. Dawn and I at least lived with him."

"So have you just been thinking about all of this? Is the whole Hank thing what has upset you?"

"Yes and then some."

"What do you mean? What else is going on with you?"

"I'm having nightmares about Riley. I don't know why, maybe it's just brought on from all this stress, I don't know but I wake up and I can't sleep at night. I've been thinking about my friends. Tara recently told me that she is a lesbian."

"Really?" Xander asked surprised.

"Yes. She is so confident and so strong. And Willow too."

"Will has always been very strong; she just never knew it until recently." Xander explained.

Buffy knew that Willow hadn't spoken to Xander in a while. She knew that he didn't know that Willow was a lesbian. Before she had the chance to continue, Xander interrupted her.

"Is Will gay too?" He asked realizing how Buffy had used her name in her previous statement.

Buffy nodded. She knew it wasn't her place to tell something so personal but she wasn't going to lie either. She just nodded.

"Oh. Is she and Tara?"

Buffy laughed. "Xander, do you think that just because they both came out at the same time that makes them automatically drawn to each other?" Buffy asked with a slight laugh. "They don't even know each other!"

"No, I just didn't know. Is she dating anyone?"

"Yes, someone from Boston. She is very happy."

Xander nodded. "Good for her. I'm glad that she is happy, she deserves it."

"You're right she does."

The tide rolled in and out. The sounds of the waves were the only sound between Buffy and Xander as they started back towards Buffy's car.

"I'm confused about Angel."

"Why?"

"Because, well, I am just confused. You told me that he liked me and he is so sweet to me, I can't even begin to tell you how sweet he has been to me. It gives me such a headache. I don't know Xander."

"You are aware that made no sense what so ever?" Xander asked.

"Yes I do, but he's been on my mind. I have been thinking about all the times that he has been there for me and wonder if he's attracted to me because there is an attraction or if he feels bad because of all of the things that have happened to me."

"I don't think he'd want a relationship with you because he feels bad for you, that isn't Angel. He liked you Buffy."

"Grr! This is life stuff is so confusing."

Xander laughed at his friends as they both stopped and watched. They watched the stars dance up in the sky. They saw the reflection of the big silver moon on the water.

"Xan, can I ask you something?'

"Sure, but I'm not guaranteeing that I will answer you."

"Well, we met for lunch the other day."

"Yes, I remember that."

"Well, you seemed a little distant. I'm a little concerned."

"Concerned? About me?"

"Yes. You seemed so distant. You seemed un-Xander like."

Xander knew that she knew something was wrong. Buffy had a way of knowing things before anyone said anything. "Well, yeah, I just had something going on, that's all, no big deal," he said as he put his hands in his pockets and kicked that sand.

"Xander, what is it?"

Xander sighed and looked into the darkness of the sky and he closed his eyes. He didn't want to talk about it. It was his problem and no one else's. He didn't feel like sharing his feelings about it with anyone, lest of all Buffy. She had way too much going on in her own life. He didn't need her to be worried about him. "Buff, it was nothing, really."

"Alexander Harris, you have always told me everything since I met you. We have a long history together. If it's nothing then tell me all ready."

Xander sighed again as he still looked into the darkness of the sky. He found a star to focus on and started to speak. "Anya and I broke up."

"Xander, I'm sorry. What happened?"

Xander took a deep breath and looked away from the star. His eyes met Buffy's. Tears escaped his eyes and ran down his cheek. "It was a mutual thing. She –she -we –she was pregnant. We were really excited. She took four home pregnancy tests before she finally called her doctor. Her doctor gave her a test, which was positive. We were both getting ready to tell people. She went in for her sonogram and," Xander took a deep breath and sadly continued. "Miscarried."

Immediately Buffy wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders. She didn't have words to comfort him. She didn't know what to say so she was silent until Xander was ready to talk.

"The doctor said it is really common for women to miscarry. Sometimes women miscarry who don't even know that they were pregnant. After the appointment we both decided that we had gotten too close and so we broke up. The end."

Buffy held Xander a little closer. She knew he was hurting so much. She wished that he had picked up the phone and called her, but she knew that he needed time to himself.

After a few minutes, Xander had composed himself and pulled away from Buffy. "I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you."

"Xander, you have been going through something that I can't even fathom. You have no reason to apologize."

"I just wish that I was around for you a little more."

Buffy smiled and leaned on her friend. "Don't worry about it, it's in the past and done with. I'm parked right over there. Do you want a lift back to Angel's?"

"That would be great. I didn't think the walk was that far, but it's gotten dark."

"You don't have to come up with an excuse. You're my friend and I'd do anything for you."

Xander smiled. He knew what Buffy said was true. He felt a lot better after he talked with her. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of him.

Buffy pulled out of the parking space and drove out of the parking lot. She and Xander talked about small things on the way to Angel's. She turned down the road and pulled in front of Angel and William's apartment. Xander gave her another hug before asking, "Do you want to come in?"

Buffy thought about it. She would have loved to keep on talking to Xander but she didn't what to see Angel. She didn't know how she felt about him. She was so confused about so many different things she didn't want to be any more confused. "No, I think I'm just going back to school. I have some work that should probably get done."

"Are you sure?"

Buffy looked beyond Xander and saw Angel sitting on the couch, watching television. She didn't want to interrupt him. "Yeah, I'm sure but I'll tell you what, how about you and me go out soon just for 'us' time? How does that sound?

Xander nodded. "I think that sounds good. I can hardly wait." Xander stood up and was ready to close the door when he stopped. "Hey Buff?"

"Yes?"

Xander sighed. He had a little speech worked out in his head but he didn't go through with it. It would just complicate everything for everyone. He closed his eyes before saying, "Angel is a good guy and I'm not just saying that because he's my brother. He really does care about you. I just-just wanted to put a plug in for him before we said good-night." Xander finished. That statement wasn't what he wanted to say.

Buffy smiled. "I know he's a good guy. It's just something to think about. Good night Xander."

Xander nodded. "Goodnight Buffy."


	35. Chapter Thirty four

Chapter Thirty Four

Author's Note: Hello all! Again, I must apologize for the lateness if this chapter but you all know how crazy life can get. I want to say thank you to those who have read and reviewed…it means a lot when I see reviews! Anyway, on with the story!

"I don't know about this Buffy," Dawn commented in the car.

"Dawn there is no turning back now. We're here all ready, let's just get this thing over with. We'll stay for an hour, that's it, all right?" Buffy promised.

"Fine. I don't know how you ever talked me into this." Dawn whined back.

Their drive was over. Buffy pulled into the driveway of the vaguely familiar house. She had been there only once before and even then she kept her distance from Hank Summer's home.

The two sisters got out of the car silently. Neither one of them wanted to be there but they felt they had to be.

"This is it little sister," Buffy she and Dawn walked towards the porch. When they reached the porch, Dawn rang the door bell anxiously. "I'm just a little nervous."

Buffy put her arm around her kid sister. "Don't be, I'm here."

Just then Hank answered the door. He beamed from ear to ear. "Good morning girls! I'm so glad you could make it! The kids have asked about you all morning! Please come in. Come in and make yourself feel at home."

Buffy entered the house first followed by Dawn, who was very close. Buffy looked around at the house. It seemed very homey. Family pictures hung along the mantle.

"You must be Buffy and Dawn! It is so good to finally meet you!" A woman said hugging both Buffy and Dawn. They assumed that the woman was Michele, their step-mother. She had to have been in her mid-thirties. She was pretty. There wasn't a golden blonde hair out of place on her head. "Your brother and sister are finishing up their breakfasts. Would you girls like anything to eat? Drink? I could fix you something."

"No thank you, I'm fine." Dawn said without much feeling.

"I'm also fine thank you." Buffy said politely.

While Buffy talked with Hank about the drive to Los Angeles, Dawn looked around. She had a plan. Her plan was not to be interested in anything. She wasn't interested in meeting her younger brother and sister. She didn't want to deal with it. After all, she had been the youngest or all of her life. Only in recent weeks had that changed and she didn't like that whole idea.

"Mom, who was at the door?' The blonde little boy asked emerging from the dining room. Buffy and Dawn assumed that he was Tommy.

"Tommy, come here," Hank said as he stood between Buffy and the boy. "Remember your sisters I told you about?"

"Yes."

"Well, I would like you to meet them. This is Buffy, she's in college and this is Dawn. She is in high school."

"Hi," Dawn said without feeling.

"Hi Tommy it is nice to meet you," Buffy said showing interest.

"Hi," Tommy said shyly. He and Buffy began conversing when a little girl emerged from the dining room. She was wearing pink tinted sunglasses, a pink boa with jeans and _a Strawberry Shortcake_ shirt. Dawn just watched her for a minute.

"Hi," the child said looking at Dawn.

Dawn felt as if she was looking at the child version of herself. The resemblance between the two was remarkable. "Hi."

"Are you Buffy or Dawn?" The child asked lowering her sunglasses.

"I'm Dawn."

"Oh, ok. It's nice to meet you. My name is Madeleine."

Dawn just nodded. She didn't know what to say or how to take Madeleine. In actuality, she didn't want to deal with her. She just wanted to leave. She looked at her watch. She and Buffy had only been there for twenty-five minutes. _Okay, not bad. Only a half hour to go and then we're on our way back to Sunnydale,_ Dawn thought to herself.

"I like your name more than Buffy's. Buffy sounds like a made-up name. Dawn is much prettier," the child began to explain as she took off her sunglasses and threw them on to the coffee table.

"Thank you. You know I liked _Strawberry Shortcake_ when I was your age."

"Really?" Madeleine said sounding surprised. She then took off her boa and threw it on the arm of the couch and sat down. "_Strawberry Shortcake_ has been around that long?"

"Yes but she dressed different when I was a kid. She didn't wear jeans then. She wore this cute red and white checkered dress."

"Oh. I like how she looks in jeans. She has nice hair."

Dawn laughed at the child's statements. She sat at the far end of the couch.

"Wait, I want to show you something. Stay right here, don't move. I'll be right back," the diva in training said picking up her boa and sunglasses as she began to dart towards the upstairs.

Meanwhile, Tommy and Buffy where chatting in the kitchen. Buffy really liked him. He reminded her a lot of herself. He was asking truthful questions about everything.

"So you get annoyed with Dawn sometimes?" Tommy asked.

"Oh definitely. I think younger sisters like to annoy us older siblings. Dawn isn't always annoying. She is a good sister and a good friend but sometimes we both can get on each other's nerves."

"So it's normal?" Tommy asked.

Buffy chuckled. "Yes it is perfectly normal."

"Buffy do you like sports?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm afraid I don't."

"Tommy was amazed. "You don't like sports at all? Not even football?"

Buffy chuckled. "No, I don't even like football. I like music and art a lot, but not sports."

"I love sports. I play soccer in the fall and baseball in the spring. You could come to one of my games some time, just to see if you change your mind." Tommy offered.

Buffy smiled. "Maybe I will see if you can change my mind. Maybe I'll come and watch you play."

"I've heard my mom and dad talk about you and Dawn."

"You have?" Buffy said a little shocked.

"Yes and I don't understand everything that they say but I want to know something."

Buffy nodded. "What would you like to know?' She asked afraid of not knowing how to answer his question.

"Are you guys only visiting once?"

"What?'

"I mean, we have aunts and uncles that we only see on holidays or family stuff. Are you and Dawn going to be like that?"

Buffy was silent. She didn't know what to say. She thought for a minute before she carefully answered his question. "I would like to be around for more than just holidays. I hope that we could start a relationship, you know, be like brother and sisters. I want to get to know you and Madeleine."

Tommy was silent for a second. For being such a young child he did understand a lot. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure, anything you want to."

Tommy hesitated for a minute. "Did you know that Dad is dying?"

Buffy once again grew afraid. She had no idea in which direction the conversation would lead. "Yes, I did know that."

"Well, will you be around after he, well, dies?"

"I told you, I want to get to know you and your sister. Yes I will be around. I will always be there for you and Madeleine now that I know about you and have met you two. I hope I am a good big sister to you two."

Tommy smiled. "I like you Buffy. And I'm glad you want to be around me," he said jumping off of the bar stool by the breakfast nook. He walked over to Buffy and hugged her. "I just hope I don't annoy you like Dawn does."

Buffy laughed and picked him up. "I think you and me will have a different kind of relationship than me and Dawn. After all, you're my little brother." Buffy said returning his hug. As she squeezed him, tears formed in her eyes.

In the living room Dawn was sitting on the couch for several minutes waiting for Madeleine to come back. Hank and Michele were sitting outside on the porch. Dawn could see them outside from the window. After a few more minutes, Madeleine came downstairs with a bag.

"What do you have there?" Dawn asked trying not to show too much interest in the child.

"I have all of my drawing stuff in here."

"You do?"

"Yep." Madeleine answered as she reached into the bag and grabbing her crayons and paper.

"What are you going to do with it?"

"I'm going to draw you Dawn."

"You're going to draw me?"

"Yes. My mommy calls it a portrait."

Dawn smiled. She didn't want to but she couldn't help but smile at the child. She was so innocent. It was hard to not want to like her.

"I drawed my mom a few days ago."

Dawn smiled at the child and her use of the English language. Her father would have corrected her mistake by saying she drew the picture, not drawed. Then Dawn was a little confused. She was trying not to allow Hank and his family in to her life. After all she did have one father, Rupert Giles, but she was starting to think that Hank was also her father. She was very confused. "Oh yeah. How did that picture come out?"  
"No, portrait, not picture. Mommy said it came out good. My mommy is very pretty. Is your mommy pretty?"

"Yes, I think my mommy is very pretty. She's also very nice."

"Well my mommy is nice too. You are very pretty Dawn." Madeleine told her while drawing.

"Thank you Madeline you are also very pretty."

"No Dawn, I mean your beautiful, like Cinderella."

Dawn laughed. "Thank you very much." Dawn watched the child draw. She was pretty good at drawing.

"Do you like drawing?" Madeleine asked.

"I like painting more."

"I have never painted before."

"You have never used paint before?" Dawn asked a little shocked.

"Nope, just crayons and markers. Mommy said painting is too messy"

Dawn took a deep breath. "Well, the next time I visit I will have to bring you some paints. We can paint together. You will love it!"

"You're going to come and visit again?" Madeleine asked with big eyes.

"Well, maybe."

"I would love for you to come back! We could play all day together!"

Dawn smiled. "Yes, we could."

"Do you girls have to go back tonight?" Michele asked after a late lunch. She ate with Buffy, Dawn and her children. Hank was tired and weak so he laid down to rest and fell a sleep.

"Yes, we do. We have plans tonight," Buffy answered. Dawn was going to spend the night in Buffy's dorm. They were going to eat pizza and watch movies all night and have a sister night together.

"But we would like to come back to visit," Dawn said smiling at Madeleine.

"We would love to have you visit again. We have spare rooms if you'd like to spend the night." Michele offered.

"We'll have to think about that." Buffy said looking at Dawn.

Michele started clearing the table. Buffy and Dawn offered to help but she refused their help. After she was done clearing the table, she said, "Let me get your father up. He told me to wake him up before you left."

Michele came back a few minutes later with Hank at her side. They watched as Buffy and Dawn said good bye to their siblings.

"Don't forget this," Madeleine told Dawn as she handed her the picture. Madeleine also managed to draw herself in the picture. It wasn't a great piece of art work, after all a child drew it but Dawn smiled. "I love this picture of us so much! I'll have to frame it when I get home." Dawn said as she hugged the young child.

"Don't forget the paint the next time you come."

"I promise Madeleine I won't."

Buffy and Tommy were finishing their conversation as Dawn and Madeleine finished theirs.

"Let me know about your soccer game. I'd love to come and see you play."

Tommy hugged Buffy. "Thank you so much!"

Buffy hugged Tommy back.

Michele hugged Dawn and Buffy. To Buffy she said," It was so good to meet you both. You are both always welcomed in my home. Buffy you don't know how happy you've made your father. He was in his glory today because of you." Michele said as she cried quietly.

Buffy embraced her step-mother's hug. She wanted to let her know that she and Dawn made the trip for the kids, not for her father but she decided to let that pass.

Buffy then hugged Hank. He had tears in his eyes. They exchanged small talk. He made Buffy promise that she would come back soon.

When Dawn hugged Hank there were no words exchanged. Hank grabbed onto his youngest daughter and wept a little more.

Dawn, meanwhile, was finally able to sort out her feelings. Her mind was made up. Rupert Giles was still the only man she considered her father but she learned to accept Hank. She didn't like him, she accepted him. She did however find room in her heart of love her new brother and sister.

Buffy and Dawn jumped into the car and waved good-bye and began their trip back to Sunnydale.

Buffy and Dawn didn't exchange comments about that morning. They had just experienced it together. They didn't want to talk about it just then.

"You know that when I was in high school, Angel drove me here."

"To LA?"

"Yes. He drove me here to see Stacy's grave. I found Hank's address and we sat across the street in Angel's car and watched him."

"What?" Dawn asked a little surprised.

"Yes. Tommy was really little then, at least I assume it was Tommy."

Dawn shifted the subject a little. "I remember Stacy. She was nice."

Buffy smiled. Some part of her had thought about Stacy frequently. "She was nice. I wonder what she would be like if she hadn't been killed."

"I remember a lot about that accident."

"You do, you were so young." Buffy answered as she turned down a street.

"I was so scared and mom and dad were so scared. I wasn't allowed to see you in the hospital because I was so young and you were in such serious condition. I remember Angel going to visit you all the time. Mom and dad were worried that he wasn't getting enough rest because he was at the hospital all the time."

"Yeah, several people have told me that."

"Buffy, he sat with me too a lot. I was so afraid that you were going to die. He-he stayed with me and made me laugh and he gave me his word that you weren't going to die. When everyone went to Stacy's service's, while you were in the hospital, he stayed with me and took care of me."

Buffy was surprised. "I didn't know that."

"Yes, he did. Mom and dad kept on saying how thankful they were to have him."

_Something new to add to the angel saga_ Buffy thought to herself. Buffy changed the subject by turning down an unfamiliar road.

"Buffy, where are we going? You didn't turn done here when he came here."

"I want to show you something." Buffy said pulling in front of a house. "Do you know what this is?"

"A house?"

"Don't be such a smart ass. Do you know who used to live here?"

"I have no idea."

"We did."

"What?"

"Yes. When mom and Hank were married we lived here. That room over there was the living room and that room up there to the left was our room. And the back yard,"

"We had a swimming pool?" Dawn asked.

"No, that wasn't there then. We used to have a swing set. I remember you and Hank being outside for hours and hours swinging."

Dawn shook her head. "I don't remember any of it."

"I think you were like two when we moved out of here. After dad left mom, mom couldn't afford the payments on her own so we had to move."

Dawn nodded her head. After a few more memories, Buffy headed back to Sunnydale.

"Tara is out with some friends, I don't know what time she'll be in but if you don't want to floor you can sleep on Anaya's bed. She is home and won't be back until-well, I don't know when. Let me check the messages and then we can begin the movie fest, all right?" Buffy asked as they entered her suite.

Dawn nodded as she put her backpack on Anaya's bed. Dawn thought that Buffy had the coolest friends ever.

You have two new messages. 'Hey Buff, it's Will, please call me back when you can. It's just, I feel so bad, we broke up Buffy. We broke up and it hurts so bad. Call me, please?" the machine played Willow's message. Buffy looked at her clocked. It was after midnight in Boston. She figured she'd call Willow the first thing in the morning. "Second message: 'Buffy, its Xander; call me when you get a chance. Bye."

Before Buffy had a chance to say anything, Tara walked through the door. "Hello? Buffy? Dawn? Are you guys here?"

"Hey Tara, I'm in the hall. How was your night out?"

"Horrible. I don't know why I even bothered going out. Jamie set me up on a blind date and, get this, it was a man. Why? I don't understand people!"

Buffy smiled. Tara then listened to her self complain and then also smiled. "I'm sorry it's been such a long night."

"No need for any apologizes."

"You had a big day. How did that go?" Tara asked.

"All right but Dawn and I are kind of done talking about it for the day. Could I fill you in later?'

"Sure, no problem. Where is Dawn?"

"In Anaya's room. I knew Anya wouldn't care about having her sleep in there."

"You're right, she wouldn't care. Do you and Dawn want some ice cream? We can go get some?"

"That is a great idea," Dawn said as she entered the room. She and Tara exchanged hugs and small talk.

"Sure, let me grab my wallet and-" Buffy was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Hello?"

Buffy opened the door and saw Xander standing outside. "Hey, can we talk?"

"Sure, why don't-" Buffy was interrupted by Tara.

"Why don't I take Dawn and we can come back with your ice cream. Sound good?"

"Sure. Xander, would you like anything?"

"No thanks."

Tara and dawn nodded and left the room.

Buffy was a little alarmed. Xander didn't seem like he was acting like himself. "Let's go sit in the living room."

Xander followed Buffy to the small room with a couch and a TV. He quickly asks, "How were things today? In LA?"

"They went all right. Xander, I don't think you are here to talk about Hank. What's going one? Are you all right?"

Xander nodded. He didn't find words to answer. He followed his heart, not his head and kissed Buffy.


	36. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Author's note: Okay, okay. I am sorry that I haven't updated for months and months! No, I'm really, really sorry I haven't updated for months and months. Did everyone have a good holiday season? New years? I'm not even going to give excuses; I'm just going to apologize over and over again and grovel at everyone's feet.

Once again I find myself saying thank you to my readers who have been loyal. Thanks a million guys! I especially would like to thank xanadu, vampiric.princess, Guardianofthesparrow and Kristine. Thank you guys so much! I hope you aren't too disappointed with this chapter! I'll update soon (I promise!). Thanks again for reading! LA

Almost immeditly Buffy pulled away from Xander.

"What's wrong?" Xander asked patting Buffy's hair.

Buffy stood up and looked at Xander with a confused expression. "Xander what was that?"

"What was what?"

"The kiss! Why would you kiss me?"

Xander's big brown eyes found their way to Buffy's. His star got lost in her green eyes. "Buffy, I love you."

"What? Xander, do you know what you are saying?"

"Yes I do. I love you."

"Xander Harris, what is bring this on?"

Xander sighed. He had thought of this moment for sometime and had prepared his response. At that moment, Xander forgot everything he had been rehersing in his head. "Buffy, I love you. I am sick and tired of delievering Angel's messages for him. Why should I do that? I feel the same way. I'm sick and tired of being the messanger for him."

Buffy looked at her friend for a moment. Xander was her friend. "Xander, are you saying this because of everything with Anya?"

"What? How could you suggest such a thing? Buffy, I know how I feel!"

"I don't doubt you do Xander, it's just you are going through a lot right now. Anya miscarring and then leaving, that's not easy to go through."

Xander very matter-a fact looked at Buffy. "Yeah, it is hard to get over things with her but Buffy, even when I was with her I found myself thinking about you. Buffy, I know how I feel."

_ This is too much,_ Buffy thought to herself. She thought that first she and Dawn met the other side of the Summer's family, which was very emotional. Even though she had learned to except Hank Summers and she wasn't crazy for him as a person, it was difficult to see him in the state that he was in. He was so weak and thin. She thought to herself all day that it would be only a matter of time before he left this earth.

One the way back to her dorm, she and Dawn had talkd about their family history for a bit. She was on emotional overlaod. She couldn't handle one of the people who she ran to for support saying that he loved her. "Xander, I'm sorry but I'm very tired. I really can't take this in right now. I need sometime to really digest what you are telling me. I can't think right now"

Xander nodded. He knew that she had a stressful day. He wanted to hold her and listen to her tell him everything about it. She wanted to be there for her in other ways than a friend. He thought that would just have to wait. Buffy would come come around to her scenses after she rested.

"I'm leaving but if you need anything Buf, let me know."

Buffy nodded dumbfoundily. She didn't understand what was going on. Her head hurt too much to even think about anything. As she watched Xander pull out of the parking lot and speed down the street, she saw Tara and Dawn walking back with their ice cream. Her evening of relaxation could finally begin.

The clock read ten-fifteen am. Buffy, Tara and Dawn were watching movies all night long. They didn't get to bed until well after three in the morning. Then she couldn't really sleep. She was up thinking about Hank and then thinking about Xander.

Twenty minutes later, she finally got out of bed. She slipped on her robe and walked over to see if Dawn was still sleeping, which she was. She made her way to the living area and saw Tara at the door with flowers. Buffy smiled. "Who are they from? They are pretty."

"Actually I was signing them for you."

Buffy walked over to Tara and took the little card off the flowers. She began to read the card out loud:

_ Buffy,_

_ Sorry I gave you a headache last night. I've been tryingtowork through things. Last night with you was one of them. I've felt this way for a very long time. I can't help the way I feel. -Xander_

"I can't believe him. This is ridiculous." Buffy said.

"What are you talking about? What is Xander talking about?" Tara asked placing the flowers on the end table.

Buffy sighed and then pouted. "Xander is impossible. Do you know what he did last night"

"I thought he came over to ask about your day with your father and the kids."

"No."

"No? Then what was it?"

Buffy began to recap the conversation she had with Xander. She left no detail out. "And now the flowers…this is just annoying now!"

"I have no idea what to say," Tara told her friend.

"I'm gong to give him a few days. I don't even want to think about anything now. Hey," Buffy said changing the subject, "I'm going to Barnes and Noble after I drop Dawn off. I have to get that book for my film and lit class. Do you want to come with?"

"I can't. I have a study group meeting later, but we're on for dinner tonight, right?"

Buffy nodded. Before she had a chance to respond in words, Tara spoke again. "Are you talking to Faith today too?"

Again, Buffy nodded. "Yes. She's going to be over my mom's house. This is the first time we have attempted to talk since she found out I was having dinner with Hank. I hope she isn't too mad. Plus I have Dawn in my corner too, so maybe it'll help."

"What do you mean you're going out? I thought you were going to talk to Faith with me?" Buffy scolded her sister as they pulled into the Giles' driveway.

"Buffy I can't. I am babysitting. I told you that even before Faith called mom."

"Dawn, I thought we were doing this talk thing together. She's your sister too. Talk with her with me."

"I'm sorry, I can't Buffy. I promised the Richardsons' that I would baby-sit for them weeks ago." Dawn explained as they entered the house. "If you're going to be mad at anyone be mad at mom, she is arranging this whole meeting."

Buffy and Dawn made small talk with their mother and father. They talked about the kids and Hank and even talked about Michele a little bit. Dawn then, as promised, rushed off to get ready for her evening of babysitting.

Just as Dawn opened the door to leave, Faith stood at the front door. She had her fist up and ready to knock on the door. Dawn let her in as she left to get into Mrs. Richardson's car.

Joyce greeted Faith with hugs. She and Rupert had plans with their friends to go out. They were leaving both Faith and Buffy alone so they could just talk.

After Rupert and Joyce left, silence fell between the two sisters. They both looked uncomfortable. Buffy was the first to break the silence.

"Do you want anything to drink or eat?"

"Actually something to drink would be good. Water would be fine." Faith said quietly.

Buffy returned a few seconds later with a cup of ice water. She sat back down and just looked at Faith. She tried to gather her thoughts together before she talked. ""Oh the last few weeks have been something, uh?"

Faith nodded but remained silent.

"Listen Faith, I'm going to get down to it. I'm sorry that you are upset that I had dinner with Hank. I did it because I wanted to know more. I didn't always want to wonder. Don't you ever want to get the wondering over and done with?"

"I did, until I met him. Now I don't care what he thought. He burnt all of us. You burnt me, Heather, my mom, your mother, you, Dawn. He even burnt Connor and he doesn't even realize it. No I don't wonder about him now. I don't care about someone who hurt me and all of my family. I guess you aren't family figuratively any more. You and me, we're biological, which I think means something."

Buffy was silent for a second before she changed her action. "I understand that but he has two other children Faith. Don't you wonder about them?"

"No. I have my own problems Buffy. My own close family, which seems to be expanding more and more."

"Faith, the kids are great. Your brother and your sister-"

"Half brother and sister," Faith corrected Buffy.

"Whatever, Madeleine and Tommy. They are wonderful children. Tommy plays soccer and is the typical boy. He likes sports and he likes to build things and he likes his video games. He is a beautiful child. Madeleine is a character," she said smiling to herself. "She reminds me so much of Dawn that it is frightening. She is a little diva. She's four. She's-I can't even explain her. You have to meet her for yourself to understand what I mean." Buffy finished as she smiled thinking about her new found siblings.

"I told you, I want nothing to do with Hank or the damn kids. I don't care." Faith said in an almost yelling voice.

"You know Faith, I understand your feelings about Hank, I really do. He screwed over both of us. I think that he really messed up, especially with you and your mom and Heather. There are no words that could ever be said that could make that up and that's not what this is about. I understand that he is the problem, but those kids did nothing wrong. All they know is that they have this whole family which they never knew about. I didn't want to go meet them but you know what? I am so glad that I did. I am so glad I met them. When we were visiting Hank was laying down for almost the entire visit. We didn't have to put up with him.

"Remember how desperately you wanted to know about your father? Think about those kids. Someday they may need to know about you and what, you're going to shut them out because of what their-our father did? It isn't their fault. Plus I think they would love to meet their cousin Connor."

Faith looked outside at the sun. It was bright. She then looked at Buffy and shook her head. "I hate it when you do this Summers."

"Do what?"

"When you're right. It really pisses me off." Faith said looking Buffy straight in the eye.

Buffy replied with a simple question. "When should we go visit?"

She hadn't planned on staying. She was just going to pick up the book at the bookstore after her talk with Faith. She had been so over worked and so tired that she didn't want to get going. She wanted to wait. She was in a place where no one could find her. She looked for the book she needed for her assignment. Once she found it she found the first comfy chair and rested. She opened Toni Morrisons' "Beloved" and began to read. She had to reread some of the pages over again because it wasn't making sense to her. She was enjoying decoding the book. It was a good mental challenge. She happened to look up as she was turning the page. She took a deep breath as her eyes connected with Angel's. She was enjoying reading all by herself. Her alone time was about to end.

"'Beloved?' Is this for class or part of Oprah's book club? It's heavy reading." Angel asked as he looked at her book and took the big comfy seat next to her.

"Oprah's book club are enjoyable books. This is way too complicated for pleasure reading. This is for my film and lit class." She explained. "And what are you doing in a bookstore? Do you even know what a book is?"

"Ha, very funny. Actually I was buying a gift for a friend of mine. I was going to get a gift certificate until I saw you. I thought I'd come over and interrupt you."

"Mission completed." Buffy stated.

"Ouch, that hurt! Be gentle to me. I do have a feelings that do get hurt once in a while." Angel pretended to be hurt.

"Fine, I'll play nice, for now anyway."

"That's good because I was going to call you. I have something to ask you."

_ Oh God what now?_ Buffy thought to herself. "Oh yeah? What is that?"

"I wanted to ask you something about my brother."

"What about him? Is he all right?"

"That's the thing, I don't know what is going on with him. He has been acting so strange. He wasn't called or stopped by. It isn't like him. So you know anything?"

Buffy hesitated at first. Angel interrupted her. "Buffy, if there is anything please tell me. I'm concerned. Xander doesn't act like this"

"Well, he is going through some stuff but I don't want to get into it now. You want to go for a walk and talk?"

Angel nodded and followed her. They both found their way to the cash registers and paid for their purchases. They began to walk around outside of the strip mall.

"So what's going on? Is he all right?" Angel asked sounding concerned.

"What we talk about stays between us, right?"

"Of course. Don't I always promise?"

"All right then. Xander is kind of going through something right now and I don't know what it is. The first thing was that I think he got too close with Anya."

"His girlfriend?"

"His ex-girlfriend. They broke up. She was pregnant. They were both excited. She miscarried and they broke up. She is living at home now. She took a leave of absence this semester."

Angel was shocked. He had no idea that happened. "I feel bad. The poor guy. He sounds like he is probably devastated."

"Well, that's what I thought, but there's more to the story. I want to let you know that I have received all of your messages that were delivered by Xander. He gave them all to me. Last night, he had a message of his own."

"What do you mean?"

"He kissed me and told me that he loved me. He also said that he was sick and tired of delivering your messages because he felt the same way."

Angel grew very silent. He tried to process everything Buffy had said. He asked Xander to tell Buffy a lot of stuff. He never thought that Xander felt the same way. "I never knew that. If I would have known I wouldn't have asked him to tell you. I feel so horrible."

"I know you didn't know how he felt. I know that you wouldn't have told him to tell me those things if you knew he supposedly felt the same way. You're not the kind of person."

"I'm sorry that-"

"Angel, stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong. I personally think that I am his rebound girl. After all, Xander and me? Can you picture us together?" Buffy asked with a slight laugh.

"It happened before?"

_ Yes Angel, and that was in high school. That was so long ago that it felt like it was another lifetime._ "Angel, that was a long time ago. I was much younger then. Xander is a great person but I don't love him like that. I have too much respect to love him in a romantic way."

Angel laughed. "Too much respect to love him? What does that mean?"

"I put a lot on Xander. He is my go to guy. When something is bugging me or I just need to laugh I go to him. I don't ever want to change our relationship."

Angel nodded. The pair walked around in circles silently. Finally they sat a bench they walked by a half a dozen times. They remained silent. Angel sighed. "I don't know what to think."

"I'm going to give him a few days before I talk to him. Things will work out, they always will."

"I am a bad person."

"Angel, that's a little harsh."

"No Buffy, it isn't really."

"Why, you didn't know what he was going through. You didn't know what he was thinking."

"But I do now. You have told me these things about my brother. My brother and I have the same feelings for you. All I can do is sit her and feel bad for him and feel horrible."

"Angel, I think you are beating yourself up about this way too much."

"Am I really Buffy? I am sitting here, feeling bad for Xander and all I can think of is how much I hope you don't respect me too much to love me, like you do with Xander."

"Angel, what are you talking about? You don't make sense."

"Buffy, I feel bad that my brother feels the way he does, but I think about you. I think about how much I want to be with you, even if it hurts him and you know there is part of me that doesn't care how he will feel about it. I think I love you."


	37. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty Six

Author's note: First off, I would like to thank Brianna, vampiric.princess, Tiney1981, Melanie (by the way what is a beta? Is that like a proof reader?) and kargrif for their reviews. Thank you. I'm sorry this chapter is once again late. I'm not going into reasons, but things have been crazy around my home lately with illnesses and things like that, which I have no control over. I really try to make time to write but sometimes it just doesn't happen. On that note, thanks for everyone for hanging in there and sticking with me. Now, enough talk from me and on with the chapter! I hope everyone enjoys this! LA

The ride back to Sunnydale was beginning very quietly. Buffy didn't know how Faith was feeling. Buffy wanted to say something but what could she say? It was only a few days ago when Faith called Buffy and told her that she was ready. She was ready to get some answers from the only one who could give them to her, Hank. Buffy just couldn't tell how the visit went and how Faith was feeling.

Finally, after about ten minutes into their trip home Faith spoke up. "I'm glad I went."

With a sigh of relief, Buffy smiled. "You are?"

Shaking her head, Faith continued. "Yes, I am; and, don't let this get to your head or anything, but you were right."

"About what?"

"About Tommy and Madeleine. How cute are they? Madeleine does look a lot like Dawn. I think they look the most alike out of all of us, even more so than you and Dawn."

Buffy nodded. "You know, I think you're right. It's just strange."

"What is?"

"That we are related. I mean, I knew Hank had other children, but to think that I met you after you hired me to do a job. The next thing I know boom, my boss who turned into my friend is really my sister? It's just strange."

"Well, it's at least nice to know that all those years looking for my father, well, our father as it turns out, that I was on the right track. I am glad I didn't just uproot Conor for no reason." Stillness filled the car until Faith started to smile. "Tommy is an awesome soccer player for someone so young. If he sticks with it he could really go places."

"I'm glad that you came with me. I promised that I was going to come back for one of his games." Buffy added. "But just wait, it won't be too long before we are coming here to see Madeleine in a play or something theatrical. She will be big too if we just give her some time."

Faith chuckled. "You're right. Was Dawn like that too?"

"Dawn was artistic and dramatic. She just chose to act on the artistic side of things. I think she is looking into schools for art. She is so creative."

"You know, I think that Michele is pretty nice. I never thought she was going to stop feeding us. She just kept bringing food out."

"That's how she was when Dawn and I went there last time. She is really nice though."

"I wanted to hate her, really I did," Faith began. "I wanted to point my finger at her and just blame her for everything, but after meeting her and spending time with her, it really isn't her fault, is it?"

"Well, she did have the affair with Hank." Buffy answered.

"Right, but I really liked her, is that so bad?"

"No, things happen because they are meant to be that way. She looked really stressed out though, didn't she."

"She did. Hank looked really bad. Do you think it will happen soon?" Faith bluntly asked.

"I don't know."

Faith continued, "I think he thinks he can die peacefully now because we have connected with him. I can't forgive him for what he did and he will never be my father but I am glad I met him before he died. I mean, I have sisters and a brother I would have never known about it."

"That is very true. I think he was disappointed that you didn't let Conor come with us."

Faith shook her head. "I'm not getting him confused in all of this. I don't want him to get attached to someone who is going to die before he can build a relationship with him. Plus, he will ask way too many questions that I don't think I am ready to answer."

Buffy nodded. She didn't really agree with Faith but it wasn't her place to say anything to her about it.

"Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you something. Amy got that promotion at work."

"She did! That's great!"

"I know, she is very excited about it. I wanted to take her away for the weekend so I was wondering if you could make time to baby sit Conor."

"The whole weekend with him? I would love that! Where are you whisking her off to?"

"Napa Valley. I was going to pack her stuff and just get her in the car then take off so it really is a huge surprise."

"Faith! I didn't know you were such a romantic!" Buffy teased.

"Well, once and a while I get a brilliant idea. So that's cool? You'll watch him?"

"Of course! I'd love to! When are you going away?"

"In a few weeks, maybe in a month. I have to see when she has a completely free weekend. Don't worry, it won't be this weekend. I know you are taking off. Are you ready for your big trip out east?"

"More than you know," Buffy answered with a sigh.

Buffy walked off the plane and looked around. She was trying to find the correct luggage claim. After asking someone where she should go, she quickly found her luggage. A very handsome young man helped her. They didn't talk, at first. They just smiled at each other. "Here you go." He said.

"Thank you," Buffy said beaming. She was interrupted before their conversation could continue.

"Buffy! You're here!" a familiar voice excitedly yelled from behind her.

She turned to see the person with how the voice belonged to. "Will! I'm so happy to see you! How are you?" Buffy said as she hugged her friend.

"I'm good! Did you have a good flight?" Willow asked helping her with her luggage. She was overly giddy that Buffy was spending her whole spring break with her in Boston. When Buffy returned home the following weekend, Willow was going home with Buffy for her spring break.

"It was good. I slept a lot. They showed bad movies and served mediocre food. So this is Boston?"

"Yes it is! I can't wait to show you around. We'll have to do all of the touristy things. This city rocks! It's way better than LA. I was also thinking maybe you'd like to go to New York City before you go back home."

"Wow! One thing at a time!"

Willow smiled. "I'm sorry I am just so excited you are here to visit me! How were your classes going before spring break?"

"They were all right. Do you know where we are going?"

"Of course I do. I have been living here for two years, haven't I?"

The two girls chatted while boarding a shuttle bus that lead to the subway.

Willow was beginning to tell Buffy all about the history of the city. She began with the subways, which was called the "T". Buffy really wasn't up to hear the entire history of Boston in one setting but she smiled. She knew Willow was just being herself. Buffy was glad to be in the company of one of her best friends.

By mid-week Buffy felt that she knew Boston pretty well. She grabbed lunch at the historical land marks Quincy Market and Fanuil Hall Market Place while Willow sat in class. Willow was going to meet her after her classes got out. Since it was a beautiful spring afternoon, they were then going to walk over to the Back Bay area to do a little shopping before dinner.

Buffy was sitting on a bench in front of Quincy Market waiting for Willow. She was running late. She couldn't help but feel as if someone was watching her. When she turned her head, she noticed a slightly familiar young man looking back at her. He smiled as he walked closer to her.

"I didn't think I would run into you again," the dark haired boy told her as he grinned.

Buffy smiled. She knew the boy looked familiar but didn't know where she knew him from. Most of all, she was in an unfamiliar city and couldn't think of who she would know. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"I helped you at the airport. I was about to introduce myself when your friend came and whisked you away. I'm Mitch."

Buffy grinned. She had remembered the young man. "It's all coming back to me now! It's nice to meet you Mitch, I'm Buffy."

"Nice to meet you. What brings you to this lovely city?"

"I'm on spring break. I am visiting one of my best friends. She goes to Emerson College. What do you do here?"

"No way! I'm a senior at Emerson. What year is your friend in?"

"She is in her sophomore year. I forget the name of her dorm. She lives in the apartments on Boylston Street, I think."

"Boylston Street? The one above the Dunkin Donuts?"

"Yes! That's it! Do you know it?"

"Yeah. I lived there a few years ago. I have an off campus apartment now. It's in Brookline."

Buffy nodded like she knew what she was talking about. It was quiet for a split second before she began to talk again. "What were you doing at the airport on Sunday?"

"My roommate's sister was just arriving too. I saw you struggling to get your luggage so I thought I'd help." He paused for a minute before continuing with the conversation. "You said you were on spring break. What school do you go to?"

"I go to a little state school in California."

Buffy saw Willow across the busy intersection. Traffic flew by her.

"Listen, this maybe a little forward but, would you like to go out tomorrow night?"

"My friend and her friends and I were going to go to the area by the baseball park. What was the name of it? Fenwall? Fen-"

"Fenway Park?"

"I don't know, it's a baseball field or something."

Mitch chuckled. "Fenway is one of the oldest ball parks in the whole country. Let me guess you're not a sports girl?"

"Well, I like figure skating, but no, sports aren't really my thing. Anyway, we were going to go to I think Jillian's. I don't think she would mind if you met us there?" Buffy smiled. "Maybe we could talk?"

Mitch nodded and smiled back. "I know Jillian's. It is a fun place. Sure, I'd met you there."

"Hey Buffy, sorry I'm late." Willow apologized. She ran across the street and was out of breath.

"No problem. Will, this is Mitch. He also goes to Emerson. Mitch, this Willow, one of my best friends."

The two exchanged small talk. They exchanged comments about their school as well as other small talk.

"Willow, Mitch is going to join us tomorrow night at Jillian's. Is that all right?"

Willow smiled. "Of course! The more the merrier!"

"I still can't believe that you have a date!" Willow said as they were getting ready to go out. She was trying different things with her hair. She tried putting it up and then down and then thought about curling it. She just couldn't make up her mind.

"It's not a real date. He seems really nice, and he's cute too! Did you see those eyes? He has dreamy eyes! And those arms! His arms are huge!" Buffy smiled as she put foundation on her face. She then searched through her make-up bag for her eyelash curler.

Willow laughed again as she stopped playing with her hair. "Buffy Summers! You are on vacation in a place where you have never been and you manage to get a date!"

"I told you it isn't a date," Buffy tried to explain as she found her curler.

"Then what is it?" Willow asked as she began to get her won make up out.

"It's a," Buffy was interrupted as her cell phone rang. "hold that thought," she said as she put her eye lash curler down and answered her phone. The number was from her house. "Hello?"

"Buffy, I'm glad I got you," it was her father.

"Dad, what's wrong? Is everything all right?"

Rupert took a deep breath. "Sweetie, Hank is in the final stages of dying. He wants you to be with him when he goes. He is in and out of consciousness right now. He requested you by name earlier today. Listen to me, if you want come home, come home. I have already booked you flight that leaves tonight at twelve thirty, but sweetheart, don't feel pressured to come home if you don't want to. If you want to stay until Sunday and come back with Willow then do that. I just need to know what you want to do so I can confirm with the airline. They have to know as soon as possible.

Buffy took a deep breath. She wanted to stay and have fun. She wanted to go out and see what would happen with Mitch. After all, he was a very attractive boy. Her mind was telling to stay and have some fun, but her heart said something else and she knew what she had to do. She swallowed. "Can I have the flight information? I'm coming home tonight."


	38. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty Seven

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate them. I hope you guys enjoy this one too! As always, if you have any questions, comments or concerns, drop me a line! Thanks! LAJ

It was damp outside. The clouds had been very grey earlier in the day. The sky opened up and it seemed as if it was crying. The rain had stopped just in time for the burial. Buffy stared at the coffin that rested above the hole. Dawn was next to her, holding Buffy's hand. Faith stood behind them with Amy. None of them had tears to shed. They did, however, make Hank's final wish come true. They had made peace with him before he passed on. Buffy, however, did feel bad. After Rupert had called her and made her plane reservations she rushed back to Los Angeles. She was too late. She did not make it to Hank before he died.

The minister finished the sermon and hugged Michele and her children as the coffin was lowered into the wet earth. Michele walked passed the hole first, holding both of her children's hands. They all placed roses down the hole which then rested upon the casket. She then made her way to the limousine that would take her home with her children.

Buffy and Dawn drove together as Faith and Amy followed them. They were heading for Hank and Michele's house. Buffy and Dawn were silent at first. Surprisingly Dawn was the one who broke the silence.

"We're spending the night, right?"

Buffy didn't really want to. Honestly, she hadn't really liked Hank that much. Even at his death she couldn't forgive him for what he did years before. She and Dawn had talked about spending the night at the house. Even though Buffy wasn't too crazy about Hank, she did like her stepmother and her siblings. Dawn felt the same way.

"Yeah, I think so. Why?"

"Faith isn't staying. She and Amy are going to head back tonight."

"Well, they have to go back for Conor."

Dawn nodded as they pulled into the driveway. They felt very uncomfortable about being there. Joyce had wanted to go and be with her daughters but Buffy talked her out of it. She had never met Michele and Buffy thought that might have been a little awkward for both women, as well as the younger children involved.

The four stayed together for most of the evening. They didn't want to mingle or let anyone know who they were. It was no one's business how they knew Hank. To their surprise, a lot of people showed up. It definitely seemed that Hank was well-liked and cared for.

About an hour and a half into the after funeral greeting, people began to leave. Faith looked at that as her opportunity to leave as well.

"Michele, we have to get going. Traffic is going to be heavy and I have to get my nephew."

Michele started to get tear eyed. "Okay honey. Thank you for so much for coming. Your father would have been so happy to know that you came." Michele stated as she hugged Faith. She hugged Amy too. "It was nice to meet you. Please, don't be strangers. Come back when ever you want to."

Faith nodded and thanked her. If truth had to be told, Faith was thinking of introducing the kids to Conor, just so Conor could meet someone else in his family that was a child.

After Faith and Amy exited, the rest of the guests dwindled one by one. Finally, Michele and the kids were upstairs getting changed when Buffy and Dawn began to clean up. The house wasn't that much of a mess but they wanted to organize the casseroles and other food that was left by guests. They also wrapped up left over food and did the dishes.

"It's been kind of quiet up there," Dawn had said after they were done cleaning.

"Yeah, do you think we should go up and check on them?"

"Maybe, but I bet they are all sleeping. I mean, they have been through a lot the past few days. What should we do?" Dawn asked.

Buffy looked around and then rubbed her eyes. "I think I will go and rest too." Dawn nodded. She looked kind of sad. Buffy wrapped her arms around her sister. "What's wrong?"

Dawn rested her head on her sister's shoulders. "It's just strange, that's all. It feels weird. We just met him and now he's gone."

Buffy nodded. Dawn removed her head. Buffy didn't know what to say. Dawn looked at her with big eyes. For that moment, Dawn seemed like she was a child again. She looked scared. "Can I rest with you too?"

Buffy offered her sister a smile. "Of course you can!"

The evening of hank's burial was quiet. No one really slept. Everyone was restless.

Dawn was resting in her bed in one of the guest rooms when there was a knock at the door. "Dawn?" Madeleine called.

Dawn sat up. "Come in."

Madeleine pranced into the room and sat on Dawn's bed. "What are you doing?"

_I was trying to sleep,_ she thought. "Not much. It's late, little girls should be sleeping."

"My mommy said I am a big girl now. Dawn I was laying down and I was just wondering where did daddy go?"

Buffy sighed. She didn't want to have this conversation with Madeleine, at least not in the middle of the night. "What do you mean where did daddy go?"

"I mean he's dead, but is he coming back? What does dead mean?"

Dawn ran her hands through her hair. She was having this conversation with Madeleine. "Well, dad's body stopped working. Remember how he was very sick? He was so sick that his heart stopped working. He stopped breathing. Remember we buried him today?"

Madeleine looked at Dawn with no emotion. "Oh. When is he coming home? When can I play with him again? Will he still have those tubes in his nose when he gets back?"

Dawn took a deep breath. She just wasn't getting it. Very sadly she continued to try and make some type of sense to Madeleine. "Sweetie, daddy isn't coming back. He's-his body his still here on earth. He buried it this morning, but his soul, his spirit is in heaven. You will always have your memories," Dawn said. She was trying not to cry. She knew that Madeleine would have very few memories of Hank. She was too young to remember so many things. Dawn touched Madeleine's heart. "Your memories will always live right here, in your heart."

Madeline looked at Dawn for a moment. She looked like she was trying to understand what she was just told, but she didn't show any emotion. "Oh," she replied, without a sign of emotion. "Hey Dawn, could I sleep with you tonight?"

Dawn pushed over and lifted the covers. Madeleine jumped right in and pulled the covers over herself. Madeleine cuddled with Dawn. Dawn was just starting to fall asleep when she heard whimpering.

"Hey, what's wrong? Madeleine, why are you crying?"

"I don't have a daddy anymore."

Dawn held Madeleine as she cried herself to sleep.

Meanwhile, Buffy woke up. She had the munchies so she went down to the fridge and helped herself to a piece of cake. As she got to the kitchen, she saw that the light was on and Michele was sipping coffee at the table.

"Hi." Michele said softly.

"Hi. How are you doing?"

Michele offered a half smile. "I guess all right. I wasn't able to sleep. I was restless."

"I imagine that it's hard."

Sighing, Michele nodded. "Everything reminds me of him, everything. I was trying to prepare for this for so long but I don't think it worked. It's been a long day, hasn't it?" Michele said wiping her eyes.

"It certainly has," Buffy answered as she sat across from Michele. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Really, it's hard and I am all right now. When you and Dawn go back tomorrow, I will be a mess. I don't know how to handle things by myself. I don't know how I'm going to take care of myself, none the less my children."

"Michele, it's going to be hard at first. It's going to be hard tomorrow, but then the next day is going to be a bit easier, and the next one is going to be a little easier than that. Before you know it, things will start to get back to normal around here."

Michele bursted into tears. "Things will never be normal again. Buffy, your father is dead."

Buffy wasn't fazed by that statement. She wanted to tell her that her father was actually at home with her mother but she decided that would be a bad thing to get into at that present moment in time. Buffy couldn't be fazed. She had been reacquainted with Hank for less than a year before his passing. "Michele, I realize that. I feel and for you and Tommy and Madeleine that he's gone, but that's about it."

That was enough to bring silence. It was silent for several minutes before Michele spoke. She was speaking in a whisper. "You know Buffy; I have to be honest with you. Some times I feel so guilty for having the affair with your father. I mean, he did mess things up for you and Dawn and of course your mother. I never wanted to be the 'other woman' but I really loved him. I loved him more than anything else in this world, at least before our children. In the beginning of us being together, I was jealous. I was jealous of you and Dawn. You two were his pride and joy. All he did was talk about you two. I-right before he left your mother I gave him a choice. I um, I told him that I didn't want to see you or sister. I was green with envy. All I cared about was him. I wanted him all to myself. At first he broke things off and said no way. He wasn't going to leave his girls, Michele stopped as she began to cry some more. Buffy was very quiet. "It is really my fault that you didn't have a father growing up. It was my fault. Your mom used to send little letters to him with things that you guys were doing and, I saw him many times reading those letter alone. Several times he began to cry and he asked himself out loud, 'what have I done?' After we had children, it hit me. It missed out on so many things with you girls. I actually found myself asking, 'what have _I_ done?' Buffy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's because of me you didn't have a father. I'm so, so very sorry," Michele said as she put her hands over her face and sobbed.

Buffy was silent at first. She had to formulate her sentences. She didn't know why Michele had chose to share all that with her, especially on the night that he was laid to rest, but she was glad she had.

Buffy reached across the table and placed her hands on Michele's'. "Listen to me. I appreciate you telling me this. If you want it to stay between you and me, it will, that's fine. You know what? If you were thought the way you did, that's one thing. Hank knew that it was wrong, everything about the affair was wrong. Yes, some of it was your fault but Michele, Hank was a grown man, he knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew it. It takes two to tango, as you are well aware, but he wasn't a saint. Please don't think it was your entire fault because it wasn't."

Michele moved her hands and wiped her eyes. "Buffy, you're not mad?"

Again, Buffy thought. She was a little angry with Michele and her confession, but that was neither the time nor the place to get into the past. She offered Michele ea smile before she continued. "It's fine. Dawn and I have been blessed to have Rupert in our lives. He is the man that we consider our father. He is a really great dad and I am proud to call him my father."

Michele just nodded. She could try to stick up for Hank all night until she was blue in the face but it wouldn't have gotten anywhere. She wiped her eyes, got up and placed her mug in the sink. "I think I am ready for bed. Thank you Buffy."

Buffy stood up and gave Michele a hug. She herself was tired. She looked at the cake sitting on the counter and forgot about it. It was time for her to get some rest.

"I wish you could stay," Tommy told Buffy as she was putting her bag into the car. Tommy had carried out Dawn's bag.

"I'm sorry Tommy. I have to go to school tomorrow. I have to rest. I still feel a little jet lagged but, someone has a very important soccer next Saturday so I will be coming back. If you need to talk or anything please call me. My number is on the cork board in the kitchen, and I left it by your computer. Even if you just want to talk about silly things, CALL ME, you understand?"

Tommy let go of Dawn's bag and gave Buffy the biggest huge. "I'm so happy that you're my sister."

"Me too," Buffy whispered.

After another round of goodbyes, Buffy and Dawn were heading home. They were both so drained out. They didn't speak to each other the entire ride home. Dawn actually fell asleep.

Once back in Sunnydale, Buffy filled Joyce in on everything that Michele had told her. "Mom, I couldn't be angry with her. I mean, I know it is half of her fault, but I couldn't see any sense in it now."

"I understand honey, I do. I can't believe that he is gone. I mean it feels like we were together another lifetime ago, but wow. I think you were right about me not going. It would have been strange."

"I thought so too." Buffy hugged her mother and then got stuff ready to bring back to school. She just wanted to go home and rest. She wasn't going to classes he next day, she was going to skip. She thought she deserved to rest.

Buffy pulled into the parking space at the dorm and walked into her suite. She placed her bag next to her bed and collapsed onto her bed. She was about to dose off when Tara knocked on her door. They caught up on small talk.

"I'll let you rest, you need it. Good night Buffy."

"Night Tara."

Tara was closing Buffy's door when she remembered something. "Oh Buff."

"Yes."

"There is a message for you on the machine; I'll go play it for you."

Buffy wanted to tell Tara that she would listen to it in the morning but it was too much effort to yell.

"Here it is," Tara said as she turned it up louder.

"Hey Buffy, I now it has been long time no talk," Buffy sat up as she recognized the voice. "It's Xander incase you don't remember. Anyway, I was going to call you to o try and clear some thing sup about our last conversations, I felt I needed to clarify some things, but Will called me and told me that your dad, well, Hank died and I wanted to tell you that I am sorry. I hope you are doing all right and that you will call when you get this. Incase you forget, my number is 555-2426. Take care Buffy. Bye."

Tara talked a little bit but Buffy couldn't hear her, nor did she say anything. Buffy put her pillow over her head and blocked her ears. There was no way she was going to deal with Xander at that moment in time. She just wanted to go to sleep.


	39. Chapter Thirty Eight

Chapter Thirty Eight

Author's Note: I left this story about two years ago because I was so busy. I love to write and didn't have a whole lot of time to do it in. I don't know if anyone is still interested in this story but I am going to continue until it is finished. I also would like to go back and correct all of the spelling errors I saw in the previous chapters, but again time is an issue. I'm going to do my best. I have also started another Rent ff, which I am also going to try and post soon. Comments are always welcomed. Thank you!

PS-I don't own A Walk to Remember or anything affiliated with that movie, just a good movie that I mentioned in this chapter.

The café outside the student center was quiet. Finals were only days away. Buffy put her studying on hold. She was meeting up with Xander for the first time since he kissed her. They were going to discuss the action and their feelings. Buffy was a little nervous and tired but this conversation was one that needed to be said.

She was looking over a letter that Oz had sent her while she waited. He was in Europe with his band. He and his band was working on their second cd in England and collaborating with another a British band. His life sounded so exciting and exotic compared to the one that she knew. He said he would call her soon. He also said once he got back in the country they would have to get together, which made her smile. She really did miss him and she was looking forward to their meeting. She felt good that Oz still kept in touch with her. He was still the same old Dan that she grew up with.

As she started to reread the letter, she heard someone pull up a chair next to her. "Hi," he said.

Buffy put the letter away. "Xander, hi."

Silence filled the air between them for a few seconds. They gazed at the trees dancing slowly in the distance. "How have you been doing with everything? I mean with Hank's death?"

As she withdrew her attention from the trees to Xander, Buffy nodded. "It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. It was weird. I have a brother and sister who I comforted but I hardly know. I have a step-mother, who married my father after he admitted to having an affair with her, whom I comforted at the funeral. It is just a lot to take in right now. She has all ready invited Dawn and I back to her house in a few weeks, for Tommy, my brother's sports event. I feel like I am betraying my mother, although she doesn't see it like that. She has been extremely approachable and understanding with this whole thing. I'm just completely confused and stressed out. I haven't been thinking about it since finals are here and all."

Xander nodded. He had no clue how to say anything to comfort her. He saw that she was stressed and tired. He knew that she had to study and didn't want to take up any more of her time. He was sorry that he called her. He didn't want to discuss how they felt or what had happened. Xander did all he knew how to do. He stood up and gave Buffy a big bear hug. She cried in his arms as she continued to talk to him about Hank, completely forgetting for a minute about the hint of love that Xander felt that last time. That time, which was the purpose of their meeting.

"I know I should hate him. I mean, I spent so much of my life putting him on a pedestal just to be crushed by him. I was going on fine with my life, I didn't think of him ever, well, hardly ever. I was good with that until he arrived on my doorstep. Until he told me he was dying. Until he told me Faith was my sister and he wanted all of us, including Dawn to be part of his life again. I was fine until the man who has always considered me his daughter, even when I was disrespectful and a total bitch to him, called me on my vacation that Hank was dying. I was fine until I sat on that plane by myself and it hit me. I shouldn't be mourning a man who wanted something to do with me only after he found out he was dying. He made amends with my sisters and me to ease his conscience. It was never about getting to know and love us. It was about him all along. On top of that I feel guilty because I feel this way."

Buffy grew silent. Xander didn't know how to respond to her. Buffy took the white paper napkin and started to wipe her eyes. Xander rubbed her back. After a few minutes, Buffy had regained her composure. She took a few breaths and regained her since of control.

"I'm sorry that I lost it. It has been harder than I thought it would be and I really don't know how to deal with it."

Xander offered her a smile. He bowed his head before he looked at her. "You have been through so much in the past few years. You'll get through this, and you'll be on top of your game. You always do, it's who you are. You are so strong."

She nodded. She had made it through Stacy's death and then the whole Riley ordeal, and now Hank's death. Her struggles made things like romance and crushes and mixed messages seem trivial. Buffy took a sip from her water bottle and then continued a conversation that she was almost dreading. "I had to be. If I wasn't, then I would have never survived that stuff. Plus, I have the greatest group of friends. If it wasn't for you guys, I would have nothing."

The two stared at each other. Buffy was about to speak when Xander beat her to it. "I guess that leads us to why I asked to meet you." Buffy was about to continue when Xander stopped her. "No, please, let me say what I wanted to. I need to say this." Xander looked deep into her green eyes. "I think you were right about what you said. I love you Buffy, more than I love everyone else on this planet. I can't imagine you never being in my life."

"Xander wait-"

"Buffy, no, please let me finish. When I kissed you I was feeling…I was feeling so low. All of these thoughts went through my head. I felt emotions that I never knew I had. I was in a weird place." Xander stopped and then continued. "I was going to be a father, which I wasn't ready for but still was so excited. I was going to be in charge of this little life and get to do all the things I wanted to do with my dad, which, I never did." Buffy remembered to way back when in high school when Angel had told her the truth about their father and how when Angel had cancer, he split. Xander was too young to remember that and didn't know how much has Buffy did.

He breathed and continued. "That opportunity, which was an unplanned life, was taken away from me. Then Anya told me needed time and we got too close. I didn't know how to deal with it. I went to see you for comfort, because you have been a really good friend and I guess the part of me that was missing Anya just took over. My mouth talked and did some other stuff, as you know, without consulting my heart or my brain. After I stormed off, I was so afraid that I would loose you as a friend and even more than that, I would loose our bond."

Silence once again found a presence at the table. Xander looked ashamed of everything that he had said. Buffy grabbed his hand and looked at him. She pushed his hair away from his face and offered a smile. "So you are telling me that you are not in love with me?"

Xander sighed and a smile right back. "Afraid not, but don't think your getting away from me that easily. I do still think you are this totally cool person who is fun to hang out with. Oh yeah, I like how you nag me sometimes."

With that last comment they both shared a laugh. "I don't nag you!"

Xander put his arm around his friend as he mocked her. "_Xander Harris! What are you doing? Xander Harris, why are you wearing that? _You should know that whenever you use a person's first and last name in the same sentence that is an automatically a nag."

"Oh, really?" She smiled back and put her hand around her friend.

"How did your final go?" Tara asked. "Was it your last one?"

"It was all right. I can't wait for school to be over and done with. I have one more and one more paper to do, which means I'm doing nothing tonight. How are you all done?"

"Yes. I finished this afternoon." Tara answered as she was collecting items to pack.

"Have you decided if you are going to stay for the summer?" Buffy asked.

Tara looked excited. "I'm going to go home until the forth of July weekend and then I'll be back here for the rest of the summer and I will work in the office. You'll pretty much have our apartment to yourself for two months."

Buffy and Tara decided to live together again. As upper classmen, they had the privilege of living in an apartment on campus. The apartment housed two. They didn't know if Anya was coming back and unfortunately, the school's housing department couldn't hold space for her.

Buffy was also working in the office that summer. She was going to be lonely with Tara gone but she figured it was only for two months. Plus, if she was that lonely she could just go home.

Tara continued to pack the stuff she would need for the next few months while she was home. Buffy continued to work on her paper and study for her test.

"I'm never going to finish this stupid art paper." Buffy said as she walked over to the fridge. She grabbed a juice and sat next to Tara who was watching a movie. "I give up," she pouted as she put her head on her friends' shoulder.

Tara patted Buffy's head. "Just take a break. You've been working for almost four hours. You deserve one. I'm watching A Walk to Remember. You should finish watching it with me. It's almost over." Buffy agreed.

As the movie ended, both Buffy and Tara wiped the tears away from their faces. "Do you know how many times I have seen that movie and read that book? The movie is so predictable but yet it is so good!" Tara commented.

"I know. It is kind of a cheesy movie but I cry each time I watch it. Now who is that calling?" Buffy asked as the ringing of her cell phone interrupted their movie moment.

"Oh Buffy, I forgot to tell you Willow called. She said it wasn't important and she would call back later. I'm sorry." Tara admitted.

As Buffy grabbed the phone she shrugged. "No biggie. Hello?"

"Hi Buffy, how are you?" Angel asked on the other end of the phone.

"I'm all right. How are you?' She answered.

"I'm the same. Hey, I am near your school and was wondering if you wanted to meet up for a coffee or something, just to catch up."

"Sure. I'll wait outside." _Oh boy_, she thought.

"What is that thing?" Angel asked as she was handed her drink at Starbucks.

"It's a frozen strawberry lemonade. It's yummy. Do you want a sip?" Buffy offered.

"No thanks, I'll stick with my frapachino," Angel smiled.

They found a table and sat down. Buffy couldn't stop thinking about all of the work she had to do and the little amount of time she had to do it in. She took a deep breath and figured that this was just another person checking in with her to make sure she was still all right.

"So, how are things?" Angel asked very softly.

"I'm all right. I kind of have mixed feelings about things with Hank and that part of my new family, but I'm making it. Xander and I also talked today-"

_ He didn't mention anything when we talked earlier_, Angel thought to himself.

"and we really worked things out." Buffy continued. "We are in a good place."

"Are you two-?"

"God no. He came to his senses and realized that he was just going through some stuff and didn't think before he acted. You know, he was just acting like Xander."

"I'm glad it worked out. " Angel said. Buffy watched a child with his father. The child looked like he just came from some kind of t ball or soccer practice. The father was beaming as he talked about his son's sports team and how they won the big game because of his child. Buffy smiled sadly.

"That's something we both missed out on," Angel said very matter a fact.

Buffy nodded. "I asked you to go out because I wanted to make sure you were all right. I mean with everything that happened with Hank." Angel said, reverting back to their first conversation.

Buffy smiled. "I kind of thought so. Everyone is so worried. It's going to take some time but I'll get through this. I have to sort through some things, some emotions but I think I will be good. It is just going to take time." Buffy sipped her drink. She shifted the conversation. "I want to thank you. You promised me a long time ago that if I ever needed anything that you would be there. There are so many things that have happened recently and you have kept your promise. Thank you."

Angel finished his drink and put the empty cup on the table. "A promise is a promise," he answered. They continued to make small talk, but Angel couldn't stop thinking. He really cared about her. His heart raced as she sat across from her. He knew she was stressed out. She was finishing the semester at school as well as coping with the mess that was Hank. He would approach her to talk to her some more, but until then he harbored his feelings. His feelings would be his secret.


End file.
